This likely has been a vent or rant at some point on this forum. I was doing some paperwork for my mother who is in the beginning stages of some form of dementia. She is in an assisted living facility with the possibility of memory care transition in the future. I had the TV on and my least favorite type of commercial about "taking care of parent at home" All the drama, pathos and memories that are geared to selling their "product" I want to shake those advertisers since they are NOT based in reality, just fantasy. Yes, I know, it is their job...and it works. I feel guilty because I can't emotionally care for my mother in home. I begin talking back to the commercial: "Yeah, but if they won't wear the alert...they won't accept help...they think they are bathing and eating right...they think they are fine. How do you deal with that?"
Money is a constant worry..yet commercials show people building additions to house a parent...Hire a caregiver to keep your parent at home..."She refused to cooperate"
Give them a phone " She doesn't know how to use it and can't remember from day to day"
The conversations with my mother leave me drained...I know I can't reason with a dementia patient. I understand I have to be strong for her...but some days I just want to have one of these pretend actors just spend a day or two in my and everyone else's shoes and live the reality of a caregiver's reality
Quit preaching your product...I don't need the is just a commercial selling a product...but the product is people and guilt...
Thanks for this forum to vent and have those who are living the last stage of aging.

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I agree!!! No commercial shows the reality of caregiving!

Commercialism at it's very "finest".

I have to say that in home care can only work when dementia is not present and the senior is able to adjust to aging, by accepting everything that you pointed out and then some.

I think that a strong, loving relationship for the entire life span also makes it more realistic.

We just don't get to hear many of those stories because they are not ready to pull their own hair out or collapse from dealing with a stubborn, demented senior. Those are the ones that are cruising along enjoying the seasons of life like mature, loving, responsible, caring, appreciative, flexible families. Most of us here only dream about that scenario.

If it helps just think about all the other commercials out there and how detached they are from reality...perfect homes, perfect families, perfect bodies. Marketers are shameless experts at manipulating people and triggering emotional responses to get people to buy things they don't need or can't afford even if it means going into hock for the rest of their lives. And in this case even if it means ruining their lives. I could go on and on.

When you see these commercials just visualize the marketing people behind them and remember they could care less about anything but selling the product.

I laugh at the commercials that show the HHA in the kitchen having coffee and serving a meal with their client smiling. Or the son dressing dad, smiling..yeah right, that doesn’t happen…oh and a medication for every ailment and you just get on with life smiling 😁

It is the exquisitely dressed and coifed women and men that can make me almost laugh out loud. No feces in that hairdo for sure!

Always the spacious airy upper middle class rooms in the background. Somebody must have moved the mega sized box of Depends off the table for the photographer. “Luncheon” being served on a daintily designed tray.

Elder having a cordial and genial conversation with smiling caregiver. Not a single four- or five- or six letter invective or racial epithet passing the lips of this adorable Nana!

“Let’s sit on the sun lit patio and sing a tune or two while I play my well tuned guitar for you! Does that sound like fun? No, don’t pull off your shoe….”

I COULD go on……

Yes absurd, if one is actually living the life, BUT WOW - WHAT A LEARNING CURVE!

I saw a pamphlet for a Longterm Facility in our area. I have been in them all. The pamphlet shows vibrant Seniors dressed in their best sitting around dining tables with tablecloths and center pieces. Talk about false advertising! Mom was in one of the better ones. But when dinner was served, it was not vibrant people eating. Most are in wheelchairs or their walkers put off to the side. Wearing bibs and some being fed. And dress, whatever the aide pulled out of the closet that day and probably doesn't match.

I agree that this advertising just makes our elderly think they can stay in their homes. Yes they can, if family is willing to help with that illusion.

You are so right! My peeve is with the memory “enhancing” supplements advertised on TV, especially Prevagen. All of these PAID testimonials talk about their improved focus, ability to organize, and improved memory. Prevagen is sold as a dietary supplement which doesn't require FDA approval. However, in 2017, a lawsuit was brought against the manufacturer of Prevagen by the FTC for false advertising. In 2012, the FDA also sent a warning letter to Quincy Bioscience that Prevagen does not meet the definition of a dietary supplement.

Prevagen is praying on the hopes and wishes of those living with cognitive impairment. And knowing that AD and other neurodegenerative diseases are a worldwide pandemic, they choose to prosper from that.

I always read the fine print and drives me CRAZY! The one thing these ads do is allow me to teach my family and grandchildren and anyone who is around for my vents. AND I had a college professor tell me when seeing a research statement, ALWAYS dig deeper to see who did the research! The comment that stuck was "If research says milk is good and it is sponsored by the American Dairy Institute, double check with the cow and the field."
Hyperbole aside, it stuck in my head!!

We have to remember they are shilling.



to try to persuade other people to buy something or support someone, usually without declaring a personal interest

shill for: They pay academics and scientists to shill for their companies.

Dealers from all over shilled, haggled, and bargained to the complete satisfaction of their clients.” Online dictionary.

Reminds me of Tom Selleck and Joe Namath which are the two that irk me the most. In her earlier days Of dementia I used to worry about what she might do if their ilk showed up at the door. I must say not watching tv has been a real blessing for me. But DH aunt had all the commercials memorized at one time. she must have asked me about Prevagen a dozen times. I started telling her that her multi vit was a Prevagen. Walgreens told me it was a top seller.

But I don’t suppose we would watch a Ross Perot and his poster boards pointing out the obvious.

We Americans have our standards after all. 😱 Well we have them here somewhere.

I think most caregivers have screamed silently when viewing such nonsense, right?

So sorry that you are going through these challenging times. Vent, scream 😱 and cry 😭 all you want! We understand.

Wishing you peace. Sending many hugs your way.

I couldn’t agree more! Recently there was a ‘trend’ going around social media where people were making agreements to live together in their old age just like on Golden Girls. Like that would solve the whole thing! Most ignorant thing I ever heard. I would ask them what they plan to do when someone becomes both types of incontinent. When someone keeps wandering out the front and into traffic. When someone forgets how to feed themselves. No way could a group of elderly friends take care of a situation like that. People who think there are easy solutions to any of these problems have no experience of what real old age is like. We tried independent living for my mom, and after 5 months it became apparent that wasn’t the appropriate level of care. I moved her to assisted living 2 years ago, where she has done quite well considering the multiple issues she has. I’m an only child, and there’s absolutely no way I could have managed her care by myself in my home. She would not have received the same level of care she has in her AL facility, and by now it would have destroyed me emotionally, mentally, and physically. Don’t let people who don’t know whereof they speak make you feel guilty. Strength and peace to you.

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