I did not confront my mom about getting more pain pills and lying to me about it. I counted her pills when I was able to and it looks to me like she is taking two pills a day. On the bottle it is prescribed as every 12 hours so she is within the guidelines of the script. That was somewhat of a relief although I still know her long term use and seeking of these drugs is not good.
Yesterday she had a follow up with her PCP because she was discharged from the ER recently. She did not allow me to go to that appointment. When she returned she came over to my place for dinner and said a lot of nonsense, which is normal, but there were two things she said that were the main take away for me. One was she said her doctor is not concerned about her chronic kidney disease. That she was "good for at least another ten years". Okay at the ER they told me she had progressed from stage 3 to stage 4. I'm starting to wonder if her PCP is a flake. Whatever. My mom was in a good mood and seemed fine to me from a physical standpoint so I didn't press for more info.
Then she happily announced that the doctor told her that the pain meds she gets from the clinic were better for her kidney than ibuprofen and the way my mom talked he was fine with her opiate use. Then she said she was going to make an appointment with the pain doc. Yay, more pills. At least she's not lying about it I guess. And I know one thing to be true, NSAIDS are not good for people with kidney disease. I think that's why she was in such a good mood. No joke.
I've decided to take the advice I got from Barb and "let the chips fall".
I know my mom makes bad decisions, and she always has... she's been an alcoholic as long as I can remember. I know she shouldn't be on these opiates but she started long before she moved here, and I can't control that either.
I'm going to stay out of it unless I absolutely have to get involved as in calling 911 or some other big event occurs.
I can also see her dementia has progressed. Vascular dementia can present so strangely -- like she has lucid times where she seems almost normal, and then other times where she sounds bat shit nuts and that is what I am seeing more of, much more, and my husband has noticed it too.
Thank you again to everyone who chimed in when I first reported this problem. Oh, I guess one good thing is I'm noticing this time around even though I still get triggered, upset and depressed when she treats me poorly I have been able to pick myself up much better than I was last Fall/Spring, and I'm better at limiting my time with her without guilt. (most of the time)
Hugs to everyone here.