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Thanks Polar,

I have to go now. I am sorry, I started crying again just typing about it.

Goodnight.
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NHWM, try your best to get some sleep, You need the rest.
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Needhelpwithmom, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Your mom is at the very end now. My mom became unresponsive and breathing loudly and passed about 12 hours later. I was with her at the very end because I was at the hospital with my brother.

I wouldn’t have stayed either if my brother wasn’t with me. I would have been scared.

I’m so sorry!!!! Hugs to you!!! Please try and get some rest and talk to us later.

Prayers and hugs going out to you and your mom.
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Don't feel bad about going home to sleep, my sis and I did the same. I believe that they have the ability to choose their moment and leaving gives them the opportunity to go without witnesses if that is what hey want, besides that staff will call if they see a change🤗
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Clock hands slow,
Tick, tock, tick, tock... time,
For stillness.
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My heart goes out to you and your mom. The end is so very hard to watch. What’s going on with your mom is very much like my dad’s last two days. He stopped communicating with us, his breathe did all sorts of different sounds, and he seemed to be gone. One hospice nurse told me in in most ways he was gone already and his body was just catching up. I pray you’ll find rest, any feelings you’re having are fine. Peace and calm for all...
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NHWM, still praying for peace; for you, your brother, you mom, everyone in your family. (((hugs)))
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Today is my 43rd wedding anniversary. I keep thinking about my parents being married well over 50 years.

I do believe that my father is waiting for my mom.

My daughter’s boyfriend told her the sweetest thing.

He said, “Soon your grandmother will be dancing with your grandfather again.” It made her feel better to hear that.

She feels awful about being in Colorado.

My daughters spent plenty of time with my mom throughput their lives. I told them that their grandmother knows how much they love her.

She is so busy with work and physical therapy and has decided to come home after mom dies.

Her boss is very understanding, which is nice.

My oldest daughter feels absolutely awful about being sick with Crohn’s disease.

I don’t want her to feel badly about that.

She recently had surgery to remove scar tissue from ulcers being removed, she has had many ulcers but hopefully this clean up procedure of the scar tissue will prevent or delay removing sections of her colon.

The flare ups are awful in Crohn’s disease.

I totally understand that she can’t go out.

She feels so badly about being in the hospital so often and not being to be able with us.

I want her to take care of herself. She’s so young to be suffering, 32.

I know that this will sound horrible but I don’t want my mom to die on my anniversary as a reminder every year.

Then again, it doesn’t really matter. All I want is for her to be at peace.

I want to go see mom but I don’t want to go see her.

Maybe, I don’t know what I want right now.

I have a friend that says Father’s Day is bittersweet because while he loves celebrating the day with his children, he is sad because his dad died on Father’s Day.

It’s kind of weird getting random disturbing thoughts at times.

Daughter, I think the hospice nurse that made the statement about them being mostly gone but the body has to catch up is so correct! This happened with my brother too.

I just sit in her room now, sort of frozen.

I know that the nurse says she can hear us but she is practically deaf.

My mom started reading lips years ago and her eyes are closed now. So, how can she know what I am saying?

I wonder if a person’s soul leaves their body first.

Does that sound weird? I have heard that is what happens in NDE cases. It’s a mystery.

I thank all of you again for your support and I apologize for rambling.

I think I will make some coffee and eat a little cereal.
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NHWM, totally understandable for you to want your anniversary to be a day of only happy memories.

((((((Hugs))))) and happy anniversary.
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NHWM - We're there with you. (((Hugs)))
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Thanks Barb and Polar.

I catch myself putting pressure on myself.

I say this because my mom’s caregiver told me that mom told her that she doesn’t want us postpone our lives.

It’s odd watching parents age.

My mom was the glue that held the family together.

She was the calming force when daddy would argue with my oldest brother.

So, to see her helpless now, is really difficult.

I can’t relay all of my feelings because they are personal memories that I don’t care to speak about too much. It’s fine to tell about circumstances to explain a situation but I can’t bear to think about certain things continually. It hurts too much.

I work on not playing the same records (painful times) over and over in my head. It doesn’t help me and actually makes me feel worse. I prefer to remember the good times.

I am very grateful to my therapist who has helped me move forward in certain areas.

I do wish that I would have thought to ask my mom if she wanted to speak to someone.

I just felt that she never would have, so I never asked.

Mom led an interesting life. One of my friends who authored a book on local history wanted to interview her for a sequel to his book.

My mom never saw herself as interesting and said, “Why would he want to speak to me?”

You know, that was my mom. Very modest but I swear she could do so many things.

My grandfather was a shipbuilder. Well, he built small boats for men to go fishing in. He got so many orders that he couldn’t possibly fill all of the orders.

One day grandpa told a man, “I can’t take any more orders. Why don’t you ask my daughter? She can build you a skiff!” LOL, I asked mom how old was she. She says, “About 15.” She didn’t build the skiff.

She preferred sewing. She didn’t make ‘money’ but the woman that she sewed for would buy her fabric to make herself a dress too.

She would go to store windows as a teenager, draw a sketch, make the dress, without a pattern! I told her, “Mom, you are a fashion designer!” I would come home from school and see new draperies on the windows. She even reupholstered our sofa!

She made gorgeous clothes for me, costumes for Halloween and Mardi Gras, etc.

All of us have our own unique memories, don’t we? I love hearing them.

I loved hearing about Barb’s mom graduation, Golden’s mom was fascinating, I think Glad’s mom sewed like my mom, so many mom and dad stories.

I like reading the stories. I do love human interests stories and knowing what makes someone tick.
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I do think it enriches our lives to know our parents and grandparents experiences in life.

I loved when my grandpa would build us toys with the leftover wood from his ship building.

I have seen photos of the Shipbuilders in Louisiana. There is a museum in Madisonville, Louisiana that tells their story.

My daddy took woodworking classes. He built lots of pretty things.

I love seeing beautifully hand made items, no matter what it is.

My mom worked the craft fairs for years, selling hand sewn items, crochet items, etc. She sold lots.
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Thanks for your support and guidance. I am drained and not going to hospice today.

I have decided to take the day off to be with my husband for our anniversary. Barb, your words made me realize that it’s okay to want only happy memories for my anniversary. Thanks, I was torn.

Hubby is working from home today.

Most days he works from home due to Covid but he occasionally has to go into the office.

We can go out to dinner later on. I am not much of a drinker but I may order a drink tonight!

My husband was a handsome bartender attending Tulane University when I met him.

He asked me out. The rest is history!
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Needhelpwithmom, I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to spend today with your hubby!! Happy Anniversary!!! Continuing prayers and hugs to you and your mom. 43 years!! Wow!! That is a long time!! Congratulations!!!
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Happy Anniversary! I hope you enjoy the day and a wonderful dinner out with hubby!
And thank you for reminding me of a happy memory. My parents had little money when I was a child, though it was never emphasized. My mother would take me shopping, and I remember so many times picking out pretty dresses. I didn’t realize there was no money for that. Each time my mom would reach in her purse and pull out a 3x5 index card, she always carried them, and a pen. She’d stand there and draw the dress I loved, we’d go to a fabric store and pick out something close to what I’d admired. Mom made my clothes from her drawings on those 3x5 cards. I’ll never know how she managed that, along with making clothes for Barbies, so tiny!
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Happy Anniversary, need. Have a good time out with your hub. You deserve it. 🎈🎈🎈
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Happy anniversary. Mine is tomorrow, 44 years. I hope your evening has been restful and that for a bit of time this evening you felt a little lighter. I enjoyed reading your memories of your mother and father.
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Thanks everyone for the anniversary wishes. We had dinner out, then we came home and went to bed early. I was able to eat and sleep. I feel better. Going to see mom a bit later.

Daughter,

Oh my gosh! My mom made Barbie clothes too! How did they sew those tiny clothes?

I didn’t have a million Barbies like kids today. I had one! The original. I did have Skipper. She was cute.

Mom asked me if I wanted Ken. I had no desire for Ken, hahaha 🤣. I preferred my little brother’s GI Joe! He was cool!

I didn’t have the car or the dream house. I had some accessories. Those shoes were tiny!

Our moms were fashion designers, right? Sketch and sew!
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Wonderful you and your husband were able to enjoy your anniversary! Please take daily time for self care, either with him or without. Soo very important in difficult times of our lives.

Mom made myBarbie clothes, too. Yep, only one Barbie back in those days!
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Kat,

I had the typical blonde Barbie. There was a redhead Barbie, because she is rare, that one is worth a lot of money.

Mom didn’t keep all of our stuff. Can’t keep everything! Anything she had kept was totally destroyed in Hurricane Katrina.
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Graygrammie,

Happy anniversary to you and your hubby!

44 years for you! 43 for me! Where did the years go?

Sometimes, I look at us now and think that it all went by too quickly.
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I am with mom. She’s not in pain. I am grateful that she isn’t suffering but it is still hard to see her in this trans like state.
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NHWM. (((Hugs)))

It is difficult to watch and wait. Has the hospice nurse or doc given you an estimate of how much longer your mom has?
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Polar,

She just said she is dying but not sure exactly when and that sometimes a patient will surprise her by lingering longer.

No more ice chips are being given, only swabs.

I hope daddy comes for her. She missed him so much. He died in 2002. They were married 55 years.
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Needhelpwithmom, prayers and hugs to you and your mom.
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She is clutching her rosary. I know that it brings her comfort.

I played a few hymns on my phone for her. Don’t know if she heard them but it made me feel a bit better.

Thanks for caring, Elaine and Polar. It does help not to feel so alone in this. I have my brothers but it’s nice sharing feelings with other women.
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NhWM, just know that we are all here with you, every moment of this joirney qith your mom.

And that whatever you are feeling: fear, peace, laughter, calm, agitation, that's okay too ((((((((hugs)))))))
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Thanks, Barb.

I think that I am coming to terms with it all but not completely prepared. I keep thinking of Mother’s Day and how it will feel.

I am talking to her even though she is unresponsive. It feels a bit odd but I want to believe that she hears me.

Her favorite hymns are How Great Thou Art, Amazing Grace and Ave Maria, so I played those.

The hospice staff say that they do hear us. They are always around the dying so I feel that they have a great deal of credibility.
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NHWM,
Praying for you all tonight. You are sweet to play those hymns for your mom.
Colleen
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Thanks, Colleen.

Your support and prayers mean so much to me.

I think that I will turn in early. I am too tired to eat dinner. I wasn’t very hungry earlier. I did eat a turkey sandwich for lunch.
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