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My father, as I have posted, fell and cracked his head open. It was a mess with bodily fluids and blood and a huge swelling on his head. He was
rushed to the hospital and looked practically dead, but he pulled through, went to rehab and is now back home.
He is keeping himself clean and is asking for help at least 2x a week.
If I had walked away, IDK, I am glad I didn't. It's kind of a miracle

Boy...you've have been all over the place with your father haven't you?
For most of your posts you've wanted nothing to do with your disgusting father and his ways and just wanted to walk away and now it looks like you're glad you didn't.
I just hope that you're not setting yourself up for more of his toxic abuse and that you feel that you deserve it in some sick way, as someone who keeps going back for more abuse is just as sick as the one doing the abuse.
Just some food for thought.
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I think your struggle to come to some sort of minimally comfortable situation where your Dad is concerned is real, and will likely go on until his demise.
I would imagine, tangled and enmeshed as it all is, you would have had a certain amount of guilt, appropriate or INappropriate, had your father not gone to hospital, recovered, and returned home. But to be frank, nothing is much changed by any of this other than a certain natural relief that you don't have to worry about any personal responsibility.

Again, for you Mary, the trick will always be how involved you wish to be with your Dad and your Sister. But this seems to have taught you some valuable lesson in where you need to be in terms of feeling "good" about yourself; that in itself is a useful in taking care of yourself.

I wish you good holidays. Try to honor your own boundaries well as you can for your own self-protection.
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Don’t count on Dad’s miracle lasting long . I suspect he will revert to his old ways at some point . Be prepared .
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Sometimes perseverance pays off! 😊
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I was wrong, fool me 10x shame on me. you all were spot on

I feel so stupid
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Mary don’t kick yourself .
Set boundaries and take care of yourself , you matter .
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I can't believe I thought things were better

he seemed to be wearing his depends

we picked him up to go to lunch, husband had to wipe shit off the seat before he could drive

he said he lost his money clip and fumbled with his pants and pockets and his belt he wouldn't leave the place until we insisted it was so embarrassing :(

got back and he peed in his pants

he isn't wearing his depends anymore

house is full of shit

a wet gross towel on his chair

I was going to hire cleaning people but no he will hate them and berate them and treat them like shit

he is going to die and I don't know if I care

he makes snarky comments to me and my husband there is NO ONE else who gives a crap

he is just an awful person, i hope none of you have to deal with a person who came from hell
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One thing you can do is to make sure you never allow him to get into the car without having placed a "chux pad" down on the seat first. You can get disposable ones but there are washable ones that I thought worked a lot better. Anywhere he has to sit, he sits on the pad, or he doesn't sit. You should also do this at the restaurant or wherever else you take him. A bonus is that the pad can be used to help maneuver him out of the car if need be.
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Don’t take Dad out without a Depend on .
And you are not required to take him out at all .
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Mary, why are you continuing to inflict this on yourself and even worse, on your husband? You deserve freedom from this situation but if you can't recognize that, at least accept that your husband does not deserve to subject to it. Just be done with your father. Nothing can change except your acceptance that nothing will change. So just walk away from him and all his issues.
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