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Scripture du jour:

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

- Philippians 4:13
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I’m so sorry about the pain that you’re experiencing. When I was last in the hospital, the pain and other complications were so overwhelming, I couldn’t pray for myself. I was glad to know that others were praying for me. We will keep doing that for you.

I LITERATELY would watch the clock and try to get myself to the next minute. It’s all I could do.

I had heard this podcast about a guide dog who helped her person get down flight after flight. I would think of her as I paced around my room, dragging my IV pole with me. I pictured this dog not thinking about all of the steps in front nor all the steps behind. She just did her job. That scene got me through that minute. And, the next.

Here’s the link, if anyone could use this imagery:
https://thisiscriminal.com/episode-172-roselle-and-michael-9-10-21/
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Scripture du jour:

"You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me. 
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me. 
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea, 
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast. 
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,” 
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you. 
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. 
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be. 
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them! 
Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand..."

- Psalm 139
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Lea,
The Fritos (actually chili cheese chips) are so good, I think they may be curative.
I was praying lying down.
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Everyone on this forum has enough material to be a stand up comedian. It’s all about timing and delivery!
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Oh my god, Lea.
That thing about "It's not for lack of material" for standup comedy, "it's that I can't stand for more than 10 minutes.
You are indeed worthy of the best stage out there. We'll get it for you when you get better. Keep collecting the material meanwhile! I am so sorry the pain is such a bear today, and am hoping for better of it tomorrow.
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Bandy, having adrenal function tests fall within the normal range is good. It means I'm not suffering from adrenal insufficiency.

I will get another PET scan at the end of my therapy infusions, in about 11 weeks or so. That will show whether the immunotherapy worked in reducing all the yellow areas to lots of black areas on the image, meaning the tumors have shrunken in size and the cancer has backed down, or stopped advancing, better said. Where I came in at, that was the goal....to stop this melanoma from traveling further in my body. And these 2 products treat ALL the cancer at once with one infusion every 3 weeks.

In the meantime blood tests are what they have to go by to test other areas for chaos. Like liver function, thyroid function, etc. Anything can get wonky at any time.

Its not the unknowns of this situation that upset me. It's the pain levels. Today has been awful and every movement I made was excruciating. That wears me out emotionally and physically too. My state of mind is calm, for the most part, just living in the moment everyday. I can't project past that. My dd would prefer to see me doing stand up comedy these days. Its not for wont of material, its for not being able to stand up for longer than 10 minutes 😑
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Cxmoody, blood work is done, results that are in show normal adrenal function.

It's 5:11 pm here and no fever today. Maybe it'll turn out to be a fever-free day today!

Send, what's the secret I don't get about eating Fritos Chili chips?? Those lil suckers are good!
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How’d ya do, getting out an getting that blood test?

I feel for you, having a fever and getting up and out sounds rotten!

Sending hugs and prayers this Wednesday evening! 🫂 🫂
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I don’t think that ‘attitude’ cures anything. I do think people like my sister in law who had very low odds of survival was an exception to the rule. I found it amusing that she claimed to be to ‘mean’ to die!

Honestly, it’s a miracle that she lived.

I do believe in having faith that we will survive, which isn’t always easy to do. If there are setbacks, it’s easy to become discouraged at times.

I am amazed at how children face these challenges. My cousin with Down’s syndrome had leukemia as a child and went to St. Jude’s hospital. She is doing well now but it was hit or miss for awhile.

My husband showed little emotion when he was going through his cancer treatments. He is an engineer and has a scientific mindset. So, he looks at facts.

I asked him later on, if he was ever afraid and he said that he was concerned. Going through these things will test anyone. He does believe in prayer. He prays, but looks to science for proof, which I believe is what everyone should realistically do. We still need to rely on modern medicine which doesn’t compete with faith.
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Last night, I ate Fritos Chili chips, the whole snack bag full.
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cw,

Great point!

Alva,

I second your Amen! 😊

Have to tell you about someone in my family who had breast cancer. It’s devastating, educational and sometimes humorous.

Sue was 40 and had two children with my brother. They didn’t have a good marriage before, during or after the cancer diagnosis. Her behavior was always erratic and she was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She wasn’t consistent in taking her meds. They eventually divorced.

Sue went for her first mammogram at age 40. There was no history of breast cancer in her family.

The hospital didn’t inform her of the mammogram results. She made the mistake of assuming that everything was fine. Lesson #1, ALWAYS call back to check your results of your mammogram for yourself! Sadly, her results slipped the the cracks.

She was bathing one morning and found a lump. She went to her doctor. Yes, she had cancer and it was bad. So bad, that she had to have a double mastectomy and bone marrow transplant.

Sue was a beautiful woman and quite vain. She didn’t want to wake up from her surgery without breasts.

Against her surgeon’s advice, she insisted that he do her reconstruction surgery at the same time she was in the hospital for the removal of her breasts. The surgery took many, many hours to complete.

She sued the hospital for not informing her of the malignancy and won over a million dollars. The odds were stacked against her from the beginning. Her cancer had progressed rapidly. She went through hell but was determined to survive for her children.

Of course, everyone prayed for her. When I informed her that we were praying for her she said very brazenly, “Do you think I am going to die? I don’t care what my doctors say! I will live. I’m too mean to die!”

I told her, “I didn’t say that you were going to die and I believe that if anyone can beat these odds, Sue, it’s definitely you!”

Well, she was right! She beat the odds. I so wish that this story had a happy ending. It doesn’t. She was a chain smoker. She started smoking when she was young. She smoked during her pregnancies, during her cancer, never once tried to stop. She ended up dying of lung cancer leaving two children and at this point an ex husband behind.

So, yeah. I definitely think that attitude plays a part in everything! She claimed to be too ‘mean’ to die! She proved that she would live. I only wish that she could have managed her bipolar disorder by staying on her meds and could have quit smoking.
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Cwillie, AMEN!!!!
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cwille, well you literally had me laughing out loud at your comment and it's been a while. Thank you for that. And F that sh!t, agreed.
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I'm one of the people who dislikes the whole "fighting cancer" thing. I do get why many people like it but to me it places a burden on those with cancer to "fight hard" and to "keep trying" as though we aren't just caught up in all of it and have a choice about how well we are doing.... F that sh!t. Just be how you need to be and feel what you feel Leolonnie :(
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I hear you Alva! It's insulting to be told 'it's all in the ATTITUDE' which is a seriously stupid platitude. Even worse, though; it's telling me that I somehow have CONTROL over the outcome here, which I DO NOT. I'd rather hear nothing from anybody than be given a platter of platitudes, which some are famous for. I'll do me, Alva, like you said, to the best of my ability & pray that my body wants to play along.

Today I'm trying to motivate myself to get dressed to go give blood for some labs that have been ordered. I'm running this daily fever now
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Yeah, and if sugar and potato chips killed I would have been dead at age 5. I eat whatever I want when I want. Some of the stuff is so bad that nothing whatsoever, even a bacteria or cancer cell could live off it. Hee hee. You will find with cancer that EVERYONE has the answer to your cancer!!!!!!! That stuff drives me up the wall. I had doctors at WAR over the conference table about how to treat my cancer and because I was an RN there I knew it. The confusion just adds to your burden. YOU do YOU. That's it. When they get cancer they can do them.
Sorry. I just got a tiny ticked off. I beg forgiveness.
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Lea, as an RN I hate the thing where we claim that GOOD ATTITUDE makes a difference. It makes a difference to how we live our daily lives, but that's it, I assure you. I have seen over and over again the meanest and most unhappy LIVE and the most loving and faithful and positive DIE. It is to me an added BURDEN and onus we put upon a patient to claim that they can heal themselves with attitude. You think and FEEL and EXPRESS how you feel, whether negative or positive any time you wish. If Cancer taught me one thing it is that. To claim my attitude cured me 36 years ago? Ummmmmmmm . Noooooooooooooo. If it were about attitude I would be dead as a doornail and long ago. You don't have to think positive thoughts all the time. You don't have to think negative things all the time. Think WHATEVER YOU LIKE. Let your thoughts out into the world. I planned my whole funeral and attempted to spend all my money. Ha ha, then I lived.
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I don't know where discussions come on computers but on my tablet you have to scroll down to the bottom so I miss them.

So sorry to read what you are going thru. I sent up a prayer. I don't consider myself religious but I do believe in prayer.
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Thank you Again. As my Oncologist told me, strong, weak, good attitude, bad attitude......one thing determines the outcome of my immunotherapy treatment: my BODY. How it reacts is the key. And I have NO power over that. Too bad it's not so easy as my half sister says, "Just keep a positive attitude." I am looking at extending my life a bit, if I'm lucky. Realistically.


The no sugar intake with cancer is indeed a myth, but I don't eat much as it is, never mind sugar. Funny how I always have restricted my sugar intake before this dx.....fat lot of good ANY of it does.

Geaton, ty for posting the scripture. Per oncology, I have no food restrictions. Just an order to eat MORE

As always, thanks for your amazing support Cxmoody.
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againx100,

I know you mean well but LL needs to only do what her oncology team recommends.

From the Mayo Clinic:

"Myth: People who have cancer shouldn't eat sugar, since it can cause cancer to grow faster.

Fact: 
All kinds of cells, including cancer cells, depend on blood sugar (glucose) for energy. But giving more sugar to cancer cells doesn't make them grow faster. Likewise, depriving cancer cells of sugar doesn't make them grow more slowly.

This misconception may be based in part on a misunderstanding of positron emission tomography (PET) scans, which use a small amount of radioactive tracer — typically a form of glucose. All tissues in your body absorb some of this tracer, but tissues that are using more energy — including cancer cells — absorb greater amounts. For this reason, some people have concluded that cancer cells grow faster on sugar. But this isn't true."

Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer-causes/art-20044714

Sugar gives the body energy, which LL will need. It's just a matter of how much she needs. She may already be working with an oncology nutritionist, who will give her the appropriate medical guidance.
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Scripture du jour:

“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

-Romans 8:24-25
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Morning Lea!
I am so very sorry to hear that you are battling cancer. But you are strong in body and mind and very smart so these things will serve you well.

Bummer that your temp is all over the place and interfering with your ability to sleep at night. I always found with the kiddos that their temps tended to spike in the afternoon so maybe that's a thing for you too.

I don't know if you're into natural remedies and "food as medicine" type of things, but one thing I know is that sugar feeds cancer so try to severely limit it. I know it is in many of our comfort foods but your ability to fight this bad boy is more important than that at this point, at least from my perspective.

Heat sounds like your best friend these days and I totally agree that it is quite comforting.

Sounds like you're already getting some relief if you can sleep on your left side already. That's amazing! I think it's a VERY good sign!

You will be in my thoughts and I'm hoping for your continued recovery. You got this girl!!!

Keep
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Such a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer!
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Wow! So good to hear that you can sleep on your side. That’s amazing-that you would be feeling a difference in your pain, already!

That and the temperature fluctuations sound to me, a complete non-medical type, like your body is responding!

Gosh, it brings tears to my eyes to think of all of us praying from all of our parts of the country!

LORD, thank you that we can bring our requests about our friend to You. LORD, Your Word says that You are her strength and her shield. We ask that you surround her with this strength, and heal her, so that she can continue her ministry to the hurting. She’s such a gift to us. We thank you in advance. Amen.
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Scripture du jour:

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
- Romans 8:37-39
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Alva, yes, I read something similar myself. I feel so achy today, like I have the flu...par for the course, apparently. I did sleep on my left side last night for the first time in months! The rib pain has been way too intense to even LEAN on my left side, never mind sleep on it. So that felt very very good 😁
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Lea,

I have always found heat to be comforting too. My husband does too. He used a heating pad often on his shoulder before having his rotator cuff surgery. Poor guy had surgery on both shoulders!

After my severe bicycle accident I did aggressive physical therapy. I had a horrible open compound fracture on my arm which required steel rods to be placed on my bones.

I loved the heat in physical therapy and wanted only that. They rotate heat with ice. I didn’t like the ice but know that it was necessary for healing.

I am glad that you are finding comfort with the heating pad. Keep the faith. We are all still praying daily for you! Many hugs sent your way!
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From what I am reading on WebMD when I try to research this temp thing they do expect the temps, that they are revving up the immune system into high gear and it is going to react to anything it perceives as a threat by doing that old up temp, up pulse, up bp thing. I am glad you were able to reach the nurse. I hope this is your body hard at work and it is going to punch out those bad cells because it's in an "immune response snit". I hated taking my chemo; for me surgery was easy compared. But I tried to look at the side effects, when I had them, that if they were bothering ME I hoped they were bothering the bad cells even more.
I come here each day to check in on you woman. I wish there was a way this could be easier for you, this fight. Just know we carry you with us in our hearts and souls as we move throughout our days.
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Bandy, the desired # to stay under on the thermometer is 100.5, so nobody's sure why these higher fevers are setting in from 4pm -12pm (Sun and Mon so far). It sure does wreck my sleep patterns, I'll say that. The heating pad and ice sheets are still the best pain relievers right now, with cbd gummies to ramp up the I Don't Care Factor some

Thank you and Barb for the prayers
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