Support Group for Caregivers:

To continue today's theme on how your thoughts can change your brain chemistry......I agree, it is even scientific, not just a popular mantra on social media.
It is not too-far fetched, imo.

WW literature:
Shift your mindset from fixed to a growth mindset. 1) Learn to identify a fixed mindset. If a setback or challenge triggers a reaction like "I can't", or "I'm bad at this"-that's fixed.
2) Talk back to it in a growth mindset voice. Remind yourself of challenges you've overcome in the past and what you learned. How can you apply those lessons to this new situation?
3) Keep practicing.

My advice:
Do not be your own worst enemy with your thoughts. Change your thoughts.
The bible even covers this topic...."Think on these things"........
Reference anyone?

Ok. I survived my past. I can survive anything!

Tiger,
Thank you for your contributions and commitment. I hope you can recieve support, as well. Sincerely hope you can find someone who can make you feel more welcome. You and any shortcomings are still welcome here.
I did try to private message you in response to your PM to me, however your account is not set up to receive. And that is so understandable, privacy is so important, even on this forum. I know it is to me.
Will apologizing for sarcasm help you? If so, I do apologize to you. Sorry for my
part.

Maybe you could recieve more support if you addressed your comments to the support group here, in general. Then we would all feel it is not a private conversation. Well, yes, I am addressing this post to you, but also to others who
may be offended by poorly attempted humor, using sarcasm. So sorry!

To the support group:
This is a support group to give and receive support to past and present caregivers. To attempt actual "therapy" on a public forum is dangerous and ill advised.

By history, myself, when in a group (support group or group therapy), I was often singled out, even attacked! More than once, the therapist intervened on my behalf.
(Strange, huh?).

Tiger, it can take a while to find a place on the forum (it can be hard to join any clique) but if you just keep talking you are bound to attract the notice of others who like your comments and agree with your point of view, don't be put off by the ones who make a point of telling you when they don't.

@sendhelp, ✌I do appreciate the welcome you sent me, cuz in general I do feel unwelcome on this site. But I will contribute faithfully & hope to fit in, despite my shortcomings.

I enjoyed reading an article on how our own thoughts can change our brain chemistry. Is it too "farfetched"? Check it out: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176

Thanks for the clarification on sarcasm, (sendhelp)... But it's not for me, to engage with that type of expression. I feel it masks an inability to communicate, or inability to understand a discussion. Just sayin'.

Send....I checked out that link you posted about complicated grief and found it very helpful.

I know I have alot to work through & It's good to know there's help available out there.
Thanks so much~

Some caregivers experience traumatic events during the death of a loved one, and struggle with that, but there is hope.

When online, I ran across a blog article at Good Therapy . org. after entering PTSD and Prolonged Grief. Excerpted here:
"Prolonged grief (PGD), also known as complicated grief, can occur when symptoms of grief are exacerbated and persist over lengthy periods of time. Experiences such as reliving the death event; being reminded of the death through mental, visual, or auditory stimuli; and even experiencing intrusive thoughts are all symptoms of posttraumatic stress (PTSD)......"


Tiger,
You are welcome here.

How we can lighten the load.....
HEALTHY LIVING
10 Ways Sarcasm Makes You A Better Person
JK, you're the worst.
ByLindsay Holmes
Excerpted....
While everyone lobs a snarky remark here and there, a sarcastic person expresses humor in verbal irony by making statements that defy their literal meaning. Anecdotally, many people who identify as sarcastic claim that they can't help their salty commentary. For them, it's as natural -- and important -- as breathing.

Those who are sarcastic are the rulers of the universe, displaying more wit and intelligence than any other personality type (that was sarcasm, obviously). But, in all seriousness, snarky commentary is a quick way to get misunderstood.

But sarcasm isn't necessarily a bad trait to possess. Below are just a few things you should know about sarcastic individuals and their shared smart-aleck personality type:
1. Sarcasm may be a sign of good brain health.

Research shows that a little sarcasm can be a good thing when it comes to cognitive function. In fact, an inability to detect sarcasm may even be a sign of brain problems or disease, like dementia. Through a series of MRIs, scientists found that sarcasm lives in the parahippocampal gyrus, the part of the brain associated with memory. How's that for a reason to sharpen your wit?

2. It helps you pick friends.

Sarcastic people tend to dish out their snark more with their loved ones than anyone else. This makes it important that they surround themselves with people who appreciate their sense of humor (which research shows is crucial to social connection). Sarcastic people appreciate people who not only have the ability to tolerate their smart-ass comments, but can give them back.

This support group is not meant to be exclusionary, or cause anyone offense.

Ive been looking at helpful sites about developing more resilience. In my case, I think 'recovering' my resilience is accurate. As a senior, resilience may have faded due to loss of hormones & exhaustive life events. I do find it hopeful that 'neuroplasticity' is still there though, & any age can learn, unlearn, or re-learn skills for enjoying life more. (&Thank you for the support group 'sendhelp').

Sign me up for a t-shirt. Blue is my favorite color.

I'd sure like a AC t-shirt Send.That's a great idea.I guess the color would be blue and white,huh.The bluer the better.I can't keep anything white.

CW, Good answer/suggestions.

12 step groups generally work best for addiction situations. Support groups usually find their best practices based on the members and the type of support for which they are searching.

Read, read, read and educate yourself.
Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube, all of them.
Find ways to reduce stress - exercise, meditate, eat cake!, whatever works for you
Get respite - get away for at least an hour once a week or more if humanly possible, plan to get a longer vacation annually.
Always have a plan B

Send,
WHAT? This isn't a 12 step program?😱 I'm on the wrong thread and/or website!!!


Just kidding!😀

To get here today, I clicked FORUM at the top of the page, scrolled down to DISCUSSIONS, and ferreted out this title, click! Here I am.

like many in this group my only answer is Christ. I could not go it alone. Get to know Him and believe. Life will be easier. Still have the same problems but know He cares
blessings

Yes Send,it was chocolate cake....How'd you know~

It depends Lu.......
Was the cake chocolate?
Well then, Yes, that is a positive!

Caregivers often turn negatives into positives using distraction and diversion techniques. It requires a creative and sharp mind to do that. Surely we can all distract ourselves....by baking a chocolate cake.

Gershun and CWillie,
This thread is for you, to help yourselves, or help others. The "support" comes mostly from just being here with others, just like the other topics on Aging Care.

Everyone, there was no intention to require this thread to be a 12-Step program, was just looking for ideas. If the 12-Steps have helped anyone in the past, we can use what has worked.

Maybe we have tried too hard, there is no obligation to post everyday. But so nice to see you here anytime! And thanks for supporting this thread!

Knowing that I could not do it alone......You all are great to show up!

Many thanks!

I'm right there with you Willie. I've got nothing today either.

I've been trying to come up with something insightful, or at least something funny.
Sorry, I've got nothing.

One time when I was scared and worried about Mother,I didn't know what to do,so I baked a cake that we were able to enjoy later.
That's kind of like turning a negative into a positive I guess.

From groups Iv'e heard "What you hear here ,stays here" and another one I've heard is 'Take what you want and leave the rest". and also HALT, which means don't get too hungry,angry,lonely,or tired.

Developing mindfulness skills can be very helpful in many situations. I belong to a mindfulness group. We meet three times a week. Most of us in group tend to involved in many projects, work situations. Helps to keep us focused in the here and now, not letting us drift into past or move too quickly into future .

Send, It was a compliment. And no I don't mind. I knew I was a little off and couldn't remember where it was in the bible. But people would get the point!

So thank you😁

Shell,
Thanks, I will take that as a compliment, coming from you. It is not easy being silly, but I have practiced here on AC for years. The goal is to lighten up, to not take life too serious.

I can also be serious, especially when it comes to the bible. I also like the verses you quoted. To quote accurately, I looked this one up for you:
Romans 8:28 King James Version (KJV)
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

But I knew what you meant. Hope you don't mind.

Now, I must run to update my silly blonde look, adding highlights to my hair today!
Lol.

Here is my favorite thing to say to myself...good times or bad times, "All things work together for them who love the Lord according to his purpose."

And my second is, "If God is for me who shall prosper against me?"

Send, you are silly at times.😛

Hello Canada!
If I stop drinking coffee, I will get headaches, right?


What are some phrases, quotes, that help change thinking to positive?

I have used: "Nothing bad is happening now".

Sometimes, I can argue with that, of course something bad is happening!
Then I laugh at myself.

I remember going to cognitive therapy for anxiety and everyone heading to the coffee pots, pouring the coffee and then saying "this is decaf isn't it?" looking all worried.

Well, my bird Tweety slept in, and I was considering my thoughts very carefully.
Thanks for asking after me CWillie. I am already dressed!

Unfortunately, it is the same clothes as last night, and I have no funny Tee Shirts to wear. Very funny Living South! Wouldn't it be nice if AC would gift Tee Shirts with something written such as: AgingCare.com 24/7. ?

So, to correct the need for more than 6 hours of sleep, in the past, I have drastically reduced my coffee consumption!
Drank half-calf. The rapid heartbeats which once were recommend to see a cardiologist and wear a halter monitor went away!