I dont know how to start so I guess Ill start at the beginning. Im 34 and I care for my 90 year old grandmother full time. My grandfather passed away 18 years ago and I have taken on the responsibility since. I have no family, friends or relationships left(grandparents raised me). I have financially ruined myself. There is no safety net, she has nothing to repay me, and makes just enough where I cannot qualify for state or medicare payment. My health is fading, I have lost over a hundred pounds and I was not overweight to begin with. My teeth hurt all the time(haven't seen a dentist in at least 15 years).I have no career. I cant sleep. The financial stress alone is killing me without the pain and stress of everything else. The most frightening part is that at any moment the last person on earth that really cares about me will disappear. I am trying to stay positive but my outlook seems pretty bleak. Im sorry for venting.

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Read the post "Looking in the Mirror", - your situation sounds very similar to that poster's.

You don't mention your parents or siblings. Are they deceased as well? Are you living in your grandmother's home or she in yours?

Have you applied for Medicaid for her? If not, have you contacted the Area Agency on Aging for advice on sources of home help?

You didn't mention your grandmother's medical conditions - that would help in assessing whether she can continue to live at home.

You also could benefit from some psychological counseling. Based on your post, you're indigent and might qualify for Medicaid; try that.

I would also try to find a local caregiver support group where you can share your concerns with others; it helps to know how others have handled similar situations.

What are gram's long term plans? Does she anticipate remaining in her home?

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