I'd like to hear from people who find the positive in caring for a parent or loved one.

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I've been on here for about 6 months and it's very helpful. Many of us know what its like to have long day's at work and at the same time trying to take care of a loved one.

I'd like to hear some positive things from people who look at the plusses of being a caregiver.

So, please don't respond if you resent being a caregiver etc and you want to go on the rampage of the down sides.

And, please don't judge me for posting this. Ive been on here for about 6 months, but I've been a caregiver much longer. So yes, I know all to well what it's like to be a caregiver.


We can all us some good thoughts, especially after long days.

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My Dad was sad about not going places like he use to. Later that  evening, i decided to play youtube videos of songs he likes from back then. Thank G-d he cheered up and sang along. It was nice. 
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My FIL was settled into SNF today. It's been an exhausting, sad, challenging time, the last weeks. I'm totally spent and yet, I'd do it all over again for him. After all of his love and support these many years, it is an honor to be able to be his constant advocate.  
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Plus, I've discovered how wicked smart and relentlessly perseverant he is. All of that was definitely NOT appreciated by me when I was younger. I admire him a great deal now.
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I've spent a lifetime being afraid of or ticked off, usually with good reason, at my dad. In spite of that, I've never once wondered if I loved him, but many times wondered if he loved me. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Since his strokes, he has become kinder and more docile, for the most part, and definitely with me. For the first time in my life, I've enjoyed more days in a row than ever, where I felt loved and respected by him. For the first time, I feel like I have a dad. As you can see by my other posts here, I don't always feel that way!!! Not perfection, but there has been a great deal of progress. When I feel frustrated by the lack of involvement by family members, I remind myself that I am very lucky to have had this time with him. It's given me a healthier outlook on relationships, and more confidence. 
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The tiny moments:

"I'm so glad you're here"; the "OOHooh" when I hand her something she loves to eat and she gets a sparkle in her eyes.

The one time she suddenly wanted to go sit on the porch--an extreme rarity. It was 9 p.m. and it was windy and dark and cold, something she didn't know. When I told her of the conditions, her body language was of such abject disappointment it broke my heart. I bundled her up, and we had a grand five minutes on the porch, watching the quiet neighborhood, until she had her fill.
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My dad and i had a difficult relationship - especially when he needed care. I would come one weekend a month to give my wonderful stepmom some respite care. He was often hostile and angry, but if i could get him in my car - we would drive around the countryside for hours and he would point out different farms and houses and remember who had lived there and stories about them. My family had lived in the area for about 150 years and many of these families were distantly related to us - he knew all about everyone. it was fascinating plus enjoying the beauty of the countryside. Those times were peaceful for us both and i remember them gratefully.
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I enjoyed being with mom when she was alive. Whether having lunch together at home, or going shopping, it was nice.
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I play the games with her that she learned in her childhood: dominoes, carrom, parcheesi, rummy. She is fading, but can still share these precious moments with me.
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It was the hardest job I ever had, to take care of Dad. But I cherish the time we had together and know that I am blessed that I had the opportunity to get to know him so well and be with him until the end.
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I like the connection with my past, the (good) memories of my father, and the good ones of my grandparents that we can share.
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