After 12 years of care we have finally taken the decision to move Dad into a nursing home. The transition has been very good, and Mum now gets to spend time being with Dad rather then caring for him each day. Lately though Dad has had a few falls and they have taken to restraining him in a day chair with a table and they are talking about a lap belt. I hate it, and he gets very stressed when they do it. I don't want him to fall and he has taken to wandering during the night when staff numbers are down. On the other hand we would never do that at home, we would simply just have to deal with his wandering as best we can while keeping him safe. I really think that there must be a better way. He walks (shuffles) with a walker, but can't seem to remember that he should take the walker when he gets up. As a result they find him walking unassisted in the halls, or he falls somewhere in his room. I have said to the manager that the restraints make us unhappy, and that on balance I would rather that he fall then be restrained for hours on end, but still when we go in, he is confined in the day chair with the table and bed rails are being used. The people there are all very nice and I don't want to make them angry after all they have Dad's welfare in their hands.

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After twelve years, you certainly know how hard it is to keep them safe. If he was just wandering, they could handle that. Now it is wandering and falling, which leads a lot of injury. You send them a letter releasing them of all liability for injuries due to his wandering, up to and including death, providing they agree to discontinue the use of any restraints.

I understand your concern and that you want your father comfortable. But when you relinquish care to a private facility; they are required to keep him safe. They do not want and cannot have any liabilities. If he falls, and breaks a hip or worse, he could become bedridden and not even be able to sit up in a chair. Can you take him outside when you are there for fresh air, etc.

I know the restraints are difficult; but he doesn't understand and the ramifications of that could be life threatening. Take care.

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