I am not doing well with my MIL"s memory loss issues and neither is she...........

I haven't been on the forums for a while - trying to handle things and not complain all the time :0) But last December, my MIL had a slight stroke and was also taking meds (those have been changed) that affected her short term memory.

Since then the problem is sort of on/off. Some days ok - others - well, not so good. Her short term memory has been shotskie for at least a year now, though.

Two weeks ago her youngest son called HER to tell HER he was coming for a short (couple of hours) visit on July 4th. (Even though we have asked him several times, he NEVER, EVER, EVER contacts us. He calls his mother!)

She told us he said he was going to 'steal her away' on the 4th of July on their way to another state to visit his in-laws - whom they visit 4-6 times a year for a few days or a week or so at a time. He sees his own mother once or twice a year for a couple hours. He spends more time driving here than visiting. How I wish he would STEAL HER AWAY - :0)

We have discussed his visit several times since he called - but this morning she was trying to clean her microwave and I said "He's only going to be here a couple of hours and probably won't even come in here' and she said WHO???? When I told her who was coming - she denied ever knowing that he was coming!

I reminded her of what she said and then she 'sort of' remembered - but I am not sure. It is more like if SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER IT - then it didn't happen, she didn't say it or do it. She gets angry if I suggest that she may have forgotten something. I am at my wits end. I am not dealing with this very well.

I know I should just 'let it go' - but I can't. I hit a wall with care-giving a couple years ago and my patience isn't what it should be. Is it time for her to go to assisted living? I personally think WE BOTH would be happier.

She doesn't have enough money so her 3 kids would have to supplement the costs. I know this won't go over well with them - after all, she's 'our problem.' But I would gladly give up my SS check at this point to pay our share of her rent!! AM I CRAZY????? OR WHAT????

Her middle son took her for 5 days in December and said she was 'sweet as could be - they had NO problems at all.' (what does that make me look like?) Her youngest has never had her visit in the 8 years she has been with us and he only lives 6 hours away! I think I am just plain tired of the doctor visits, surgeries, meds, pain, complaints, constipation, diarrhea and incontinence issues and now we get to deal with 'fuzzy memory issues' and denial.

CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!!