New AgingCare website - do you like it?

One positive addition to the forum is the category for posts that need answers, anything with less than three replies can be found there and the only questions that go unanswered seem to be unanswerable.

The popular questions and discussions are just a PITA, they clutter up the page and some are closed or no longer relevant.

It's still tough for me to navigate on the iPad mini

on the main page, the same threads seem to be repeated under the different headers and late at night in bed, I just don't have the desire to scroll through long enough to find something

the old A/C had a more user friendly experience and I wonder if new posters have questions that no one ever sees

CW, Right about some threads. It seems No one posts on the gardening thread which I used to enjoy. I could post a 10 screen whine about my health problems, but I don’t. I don’t want to think about it or bother anyone else with all of the issues. The only caregiving I’m doing now is myself and I’m not very good at doing so.

As as far as the Dysfunctional stuff. I sympathize with everyone. I’ve been there, but prefer to keep it in the rear window. The key players in my family dysfunction are deceased and I won’t resurrect them willingly. Dysfunction tends to be the gift that keeps on giving.

I get that Ali, most of the people who have been here the longest are no longer caregivers or like me their situations have changed, it can be hard to relate to those still in the thick of things. And the conversational threads have waned too, newcomers seem to post once or twice and disappear.

I find I'm not on AC much since the site change. A good part of it is that -- my own life is moving a different direction, away from thoughts about caregiving and elders. And I'm not seeing that many discussions or questions where I feel I have meaningful input.

The Q&A on the main forum seem to be all about hospice, money or dysfunction, none of which I can comment on. I still check in often but don't stay long.

So, how is everyone liking the new AC website?

BlackHole: "Constantly being called upon to compensate for other people’s personality disorders is not a blessing. It’s not normal. It’s not appropriate."

A quote to remember! And it is indeed the expectation that we constantly are called upon to do so.

Another thing -- I don't get why people complain about Dorker's thread. If they don't like it, don't read it!

I find Dorker's monologues hard to wade through (the minutiae is too much for me), I only check in occasionally to see if anything has changed since the advice given and taken in the early weeks last year. It seems pretty clear that it is just a place for D to vent and reaffirm.

Black Hole, Good post.

As a (barely) reformed people-pleaser, I find Dorker’s thread cathartic.

My now-departed mother talked a good game. But truth is, my Mom would have been thrilled for me to star in the roles of Dorker and SIL during her old age and decline. Thrilled.

For me, it was the logistics of my location and my even-farther-away job — not my boundary-setting skills — that drew my initial line in the sand.

Then, much more of my strength came from stumbling upon AgingCare. What an eye-opener.

The cautionary tales awakened something in me that I was previously unable to articulate.

Next level : My own saga plus my AC knowledge shed some serious light on how twisted my in-laws are. Without this site, I’d probably still be “going with the flow” and extending myself to those ninnies more than they extend themselves to each other. Or to their own parents. Or to me and my extended family. (Just had to throw in that last one, for comic relief.)

Constantly being called upon to compensate for other people’s personality disorders is not a blessing. It’s not normal. It’s not appropriate.

Yet that is the expectation for so many of us.

It’s an uphill battle.

I’m holding my own, but I need constant reminders of the truth. That’s what the Dorker saga does for me. And I hope some of my rants help her stay on the self-care track.

To each their own!

Until the change in website there were more questions, more posts. I had seen mention of the Dorker thread, but never read it. I’ve read all of it now. It’s long. I hope the plane takes off for IL and all is well and that Dorker doesn’t give up her boundaries. I read a website on pain issues that’s pretty good.

I don't see the problem with Dorker's thread -- many of us find it fascinating and also rewarding because, thanks to the support of posters, Dorker has made a LOT of progress in setting and keeping clear boundaries with her MIL.

It's the main reason I keep coming back to Agingcare.com. The new format has made it just cumbersome enough to discourage me from participating in many other threads. I may post in a new thread, but it pretty quickly becomes obvious if the poster just needs tea and sympathy (usually the case), or is actually going to make the hard changes to either improve their caregiving life or give up their caregiving life.

I only post in a certain kind of thread, though. I don't have any experience or interest in the nuts-and-bolts threads at this point (the ones discussing what type of equipment to use, for example), so I can't speak to them.

Thanks for letting me know that we can do the 'Oldest first.' I've been updating those threads that I'm following to do this.

Be careful what you wish for, Gershun.

Yes, everyone has a right to rant but most people on here occasionally go to other threads and inquire how others are doing. How would it be on here if we all just started our own thread and just ranted about ourselves ad nauseum.

It would be nice if said person would come up for air now and then. Just saying.............but hey, it's a free country. If the moderators think it's alright then so be it. Live and let live and all that great stuff. :)

Come on people, Everybody deserves a chance to vent on here and be heard! Let's be fair now!

Pam, I agree. Not much traffic. Same old questions they keep recycling over and over. And the never ending Dorker saga. And some old posters who have left since the switching to the new site.

Oldest first is working for me! Hooray! As it should be. Thank you, AC.

I do not understand the attraction of the never ending saga thread. I do not have the time or energy! Those that have the patience, more power to you! I don't!

I have mine set for newest first, I just scroll back until I find the last one I read.. and it's easy for me,, because like others have mentioned. There just does not seem to be as much traffic these days. I used to relax after work by getting on here and I could spend an hour or more going through things.. now I am done in a few minutes.. unless I log onto Dorkers unending thread! And I only do that to see how that poor young man who got shocked is doing.

FF
the sort feature isn't working for me - newest first

invariably the newest post will be somewhere in the middle of the page

THANK YOU, Aging Care. Now the "oldest first" is automatic on the questions/discussions when I view them :))

Anyone else noticing if their viewing is automatic to how they like to the read the post, oldest first or newest first?

I saw a recent post from GA so maybe she'll be back

Who am I?
where am I?

Thanks, Cwillie.

As for the popular discussions - I find it a convenient way to find threads like what's for dinner or gardening as therapy that are still active but aren't posted to every day. The grossed out thread is still active because some of the people who were there at the start use it occasionally to touch base (plus every once in a while Cuz posts some killer jokes there😉)

You're not going crazy, JG has been absent from the site, the other two have posted in a very limited way since the changeover.

for a tutorial check here:
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/all-members-are-invited-to-try-the-new-agingcare-438344.htm

Is there a step-by-step guide or tutorial to using the new website anywhere? I can't figure it out.

I don't see posts from many regular posters who have come to seem like old friends. Where are Jeanne Gibbs and Garden Artist and Guestshop Administrator? Have they stopped posting or is there some reason I'm not seeing their posts?

I'm really confused.

That discussions section is a total waste of time. That stuff has been on there for years. Especially that grossed out my mother’s using my toothbrush as a hairbrushpost. I agree about the toooo long repetitive posts like the Dorker thread. How much do we need to hear poochie’s meds and the unresponsive SIL and DH. I think it’s pretty well established they are not going to do anything.