I have read, with interest, the comments about your mothers and how it's affected your life. As a mother who has been living with my daughter for the past three years, I understand completely what you are saying. As much as my daughter, son-in-law and two granddaughters tried to make me feel a part of their family, it was never the same. I was sick enough that it was essential I have round the clock care for a while ... a long while ... and my daughter was there to give it to me. However, as soon as the doctors said I was stable enough to get out on my own, I immediately found an apartment in a retirement home where I could have companionship with people closer to my age and activities to keep my mind and body busy. I've only been here two weeks but I can tell this is going to be good for me and also good for my daughter, who has been given her life back.

Please don't let your parents make you feel guilty about wanting a life of your own. It's important that you take care of your own family. It's very admirable that you are willing and able to take care of your parents, but that's not your first priority. Even if they gripe and complain, it would be better for you to find a GOOD home for your parents so you can have a life of your own.

If you WANT your parents nearby or if there is a medical reason they need to be with you, I comment you on taking care of them. But, if you are doing it out of a sense of duty and are dreading every minute of every day, then you need to think of working out some other situation.


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