Need to be your own caretaker.

I have been taking care of my mom since 2012. It was very easy at first and I enjoyed it. But now it is almost impossible. Her dementia has progressed and she can't walk on her own. In addition, she was diagnosed with COPD last year. Having to manage her oxygen is an 24 hour concern. I have to check on her several times a night to make sure she isn't in distress. I am sleep deprived and most of my family is disappointed in me because I have had several meltdowns. I have one sibling that isn't speaking to me and a couple of siblings just tolerating me. Another sister is very concerned. My mother's dementia has taken a toll on this family. I have taken good care of her but I can't physically do it anymore. I feel that I am the enemy or the black sheep of this family. All I can do right now is just move forward. My mom is in a nursing home right now and I am at a hotel. I had to get out of the house. A lot of toxicity in my world. There has been a lot of infighting in this family. We are faced with what we are going to do with mom's care. One sister is handling all business of my mom. She is very overwhelmed and she takes it out on me. One sister who has a lot going on in her life also projects her problems on me. I am smack in the middle. I have to talk to cousins and friends about mom. I am exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed. I just want to move on and start a new chapter. My life is in limbo. I stay positive most of the time but I end up beside myself because the family wants me to give 200% of my time. I can go on and on but I have to stop because I am angry and hurt.