My mother was a 99 year old lady who went into the home to be managed with breast cancer, instead the care that she received as appalling. I was there the last 3mths of her life it was the worst thing that i saw and now have post traumatic stress because of it. I am a nurse and was able to ask questions and challenge the staff and this is when it came difficult. Mum develope pressure sores to her heels that i highlighted 2/52 weeks after she got there. I thought that I could protect but unfortunately she died. The social services was involved , CQC , coroners ,police but nothing really was done about the home that should have been closed down . There was more to the case but what was surprising that with all the evidence that i had was omitted from the report .

Having been through this I now understand quite clearly how and why it continues that vulnerable people are coming to harm all the time. What does the CQC do to prevent this from occurring. If we have a regulator what has gone wrong.

The upsetting thing for me is that i had the evidence of very bad practices and even though the Social services said there was neglect that caused mums pressures sores the CQC went in and only concentrated on the medicines ,nothing else. There was a lot of stonewalling ,inaccuracies . It was unbelievable when you are in it and how it works . This was neglect in the fullest form.

I was able to contest the regulators but they all formed a bond to protect the home . Regulators are there to protect and safeguard the individuals . There was another safe guarding issue going on that i found out. There have been 25v concerns raised that i had found out ,but this did not appear to be a concern.

people advised why don't i just get on with my life but the issues is that this could easily happen to their relative or they themselves could end up in a nursing home.

I struggle every day with these vivid pictures of what i saw . yes i have counselling ,seen 5 in total. Did it make a difference ,no really. I am back to work and had to take a year off . Did not want to go back as i felt why should i give 100%care when mum received nothing . I am back to work ,but dont really enjoy as a nurse ,cant wait to retire. However I would like to use my experience to help others

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Get the news media involved. They have fairly good investigative reports, and anything that will allow them to post shocking headlines or trailers is right up their alley. And if the agencies that are supposed to oversee the NH, SNFs and MCFs are doing their job, even better for the news media!

I feel your pain. I’ve complained to the facility and all kinds of health department folks, state folks, senior citizen places and it seems no one listens. I’ve got so much evidence and even pictures but all I get is we’re still investigating and nothing gets done each time I ask where are they in getting things changed and getting/ making the facility follow laws or for the failure to care for my loved one. I don’t understand why the family we love, and had to be put in such a place as we can’t care for ourself but needs 24/7 medical attention has to go through such and we can’t protect them after they are put in a place you thought would take care of them. I know i thought the facility was a reliable and responsible place. You can’t find out where any complaints have been filed prior to admitting our loved one anywhere. I too have other friends in the same situation as me and hear what they are trying to do like myself but we are all standing on the outside and are hands seem to be tied. I’ve even tried to get health records so I can possibly move my loved one but the facility ignores me. I’ve asked the health department to ask for records, a state agency ask for them, sent complaints to HIPPA and that’s where I still am at—- waiting. No one will tell you anything about your concerns and how my complaints are being worked on or handled. There should be someway we have an avenue to to get something done quickly without so many hoops to jump through and you still get nothing. The facility continues to lie and deny even pictures about what I’ve seen...WHY? Truthfully, the facility turned on me and said it was me— how can that be as I can only visit and see problems. They’ve trumped up lies and tried to get revenge, and tried to sit me up but their tails proved there was no basis nor did they have any true evidence which were drummed against me—the agencies jumped on me within 24 hours and finally stayed on me until they found out the facility had in fact lied about me...that got finalized within a few weeks as the authorities stuck on what the facility tried to accuse me of until it was all dropped against me, they saw through the facility’s tricks and lies as that was so hard knowing nothing gets done when you complain about them and our loved ones continue to suffer. It’s a pure shame to see such neglect and nothing ever gets resolved when the facility is at fault. It seems like these facilities are protected from getting closed, charged or reprimanded. Even the local EMS services have said this facility doesn’t care about anything but the bottom lines.

I am so sorry that your mom didn’t receive good care.

I do believe most are good but many are understaffed so things go by the wayside.

Covid has certainly made things difficult for the staff and residents.

Some homes aren’t good. Years ago my father was in a home for rehab that was shut down by the state. It was a horrible place. Everyone complained! He was in a better nursing home later on.

Other homes are good. It’s terribly unfortunate that all homes do not provide good care.

You have done the right thing by reporting incidents.

You aren’t just seeking justice for your mom but will prevent further damage to other residents.

I filed a report with the nursing home where my mom was for rehab when a nurse double dosed meds for my mom so she wouldn’t have to come back for a second visit to my mom’s room. This was long before Covid.

I called the pharmacy to see if mom was in danger of a double dose of her Parkinson’s meds.

Mom told the LPN that she was giving her twice the amount. She told mom that it wouldn’t hurt her and that way she would not have to make a second trip back. Mom told me about it the next day because she wondered if a double dose could hurt her. She took it because she was afraid to tell the nurse no. Mom didn’t want to argue with the nurse.

The pharmacist told me that it most likely wouldn’t hurt her this time but it would if the nurse kept doing it and she told me to report the incident to the DON and social worker to protect mom and prevent it from happening to others.

The nursing home took care of it. They spoke to the LPN. They were short staffed and mom’s LPN was exhausted.

That’s not a good excuse but at least the LPN admitted that she did it.

In my state cameras are allowed in rooms.

I wish we would have had a camera. I think it would deter certain incidents from happening.

Follow your heart on this. Best wishes to you.

I totally understand what you are saying I went through this with my aunt who had cancer and her foot had became gangrene it was so awful I was there almost every day and had to fight with everything there every day for them to just do their job. I to have never been able to stop thinking about everything I saw there. The bad thing is no one wants to hear about it so you are stuck with theses thoughts in you head. People that have never felt with this can't even imagine what goes on. Luckily when my dad needed care he had the money to live in a wonderful board and care I can't thank the wonderful people there enough. I would have sold my house to keep him out of a nursing home after that experience

I just want to validate your feelings - the trauma and ptsd are very real. When my mom had a stroke in 2019 she went from ICU to a regular room then to acute care and then to rehab to which I then transported her out of (due to negligent care) and went to an award winning stroke hospital to still see the lack of proper care. The things I saw and the lack of training and care are things I cannot ever un-see or un-know. It is difficult and like you I have a hard time thinking about those without advocates. ICU was the only place I felt had proper care. Even through the 2 years of minor UTI hospital stays I am mortified by the lack of care in my country. I am unsure of how to help you other than to tell you to continue therapy - if you can try to find places that you can volunteer and give back and check on someone who needs an advocate. Write to your local politicians - ombudsman - maybe trying to help others in your local community will help with the trauma that goes along with this.
I just want you to know I feel your pain and your not alone. Wishing you peace.

I already have a lawyer who after 2 years will now go to court . I have reported the Nurses to the Nursing medical council but i feel that nothing will come of it. so i do not feel that I will get any justice which is going to be difficult .

I have seen numerous counsellors including 2 who deal with post traumatic stress that really has not helped ,but thanks for your advice and support.

I know of a lawyer who solely handles malpractice cases against nursing homes
He says the threat to sue is often effective.

I realize this does not change your personal outcome and I am very sorry for your loss. I mention the above because you feel so strongly that there was inferior care provided and it would be good if some Justice might prevail.

This is such a difficult time to attend grief counseling but perhaps you could consider that in the future.

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