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Hospice released my mom 2 weeks ago said she was not declining when I saw a definite decline. Last week :-P 85/55 was told she was dehydrated, gave her pedialyte, improved a lot and was so much better. Had home group come, they wanted to try to get her up if possible the following week. She was in a lot of pain last night, very nervous, stressed out, hallucinating and palliative care no good. At night changed her in middle of night, slept a few hours, she must of fell out of bed and got her neck and face stuck in railing and strangled herself. I don't know how to deal with this. She had given up, I think her body was shutting down and didn't realize it at the time. She was probably suffering a great deal but had no pain medication but tylenol. Medical examiner said she probably fell asleep and died right away. I hope he was right and didn't lay there in pain. I kept going in there to try to help her but nothing helped. I wanted her to die peacefully on hospice. This is a terrible way to die.

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I'm so so sorry, that must have been a terrible shock to find her that way. Do you have someone there to be with you now?
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Dat1917
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I'm so very sorry for your loss.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I would listen to the medical examiner. You did the very best you could, which is all you could do and your mom knew that. She's at peace now. {{{Hugs}}}
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So very sorry for your loss, my heart and prayers go out to you.( HUG)
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I am very for the loss of your mother.
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So very sorry for your loss. Please know you did all you could for her and she is at peace now. (((((hugs))))
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Dat1917
I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m glad she is at peace. Hugs to you and your family.
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I am so sorry. I send you love and hugs.
I am pleased that she is now at peace with no Pain.

You did a great job.

Take care of yourself
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Dear Dat1917,

Some things that happen to us in life are incredibly tough and painful. But try to look at the situation through a realistic prism; your mom was in the process of leaving this world, she could have been in bed suffering with pain for a long period of time, or in any other way that implied prolonged suffering.

The way she left, as hard as it is to accept it, shouldn’t be the focus (try really hard to move your mind away from that).

Your mom knew, I’m sure, that you were trying your very best to assist her, provide all you could for her comfort, and more than anything that you were giving her all your love. She knew that for sure, more so now that she’s at PEACE.

Don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but I encourage you to try a simple prayer, something along the lines of these few words (I’ll pray this for you as well):

Dear Lord, take my mom in your loving arms, where I also deposit my broken heart and my pain.
I feel lost and weak, but I TRUST you’ll strengthen me.
I know you will carry both of us, as we each transition into this new phase of life.
Please fill my heart with peace and acceptance!
Amen.

Much love and peaceful energy sent your way.
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Dear Dat,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss and all your pain and sorrow. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Please know you did the best you can. With much love and hugs.
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Dat, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
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May God grant you grieving mercies. I am sorry for the trauma of this loss, you did the very best you could do for your mom and she knows that. Take care of you right now. Hugs and love 2 u.
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Oh, Dat, I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I can't imagine your pain. Be good to yourself. {hug}
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May God wrap His arms around you in this difficult time. He has your mother in His care right now.
I'm so sorry for your pain on the departing of your mother.
((((((Hugs))))))
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I am So So sorry for this. If possible listen to the Medical Examiner and KNOW they are right. Try not to dwell on what you think could have happened. I can share with you the death of my Mom, but when it comes down to it, I listened and trusted in the experts and had to believe it. Here is what I wish for you: That the warm and loving memories of your Mom will wrap around you like a blanket, and warm and comfort you when you need it. I hope you have your loved ones and friends around you. If not, call them. And finally God Bless your Mom, You and your family.
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I am so sorry.. my thoughts are with you and your family.
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I am so sorry about losing your mother. I am sending you a big hug but the hugs you give yourself are very important.... know that you did your best and that your mother is at Peace and in Heaven with the Lord. Do kind things for yourself.
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Dat, if there was something I could do to take away your pain I would. I'll ask God to keep you in his comforting arms. God Bless!
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Dat, I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathy and you are in my thoughts and prayers. You were a good caregiver to your Mom, please take comfort in that and knowing your Mom is at peace. Please take care of yourself.
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Dat, so sorry to hear of your loss.
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Dat, I'm so, so sorry. Bless you now as you move thru your time of grieving.
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I’m very sorry to read of your loss. There’s a unique pain in losing a good mother. You’ve done your best and she’s at peace and whole now. I hope you’ll be surrounded by the good memories in the days ahead
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I grieve for you Dat. Try not to think more of this then the love for your mother. Not how she passed away.
I feel for you.
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So sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and comfort as mourn her passing.
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Something can happen in the blink of an eye and we are powerless to change it and it is then that we must summon the strength to accept it

I pray you feel a wee bit of strength - you were mom's hero - I'm crying with you tonight
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I’m very sorry for your loss.
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so sorry for your loss. Your mom knew you loved her and did the best you could for her. Dont beat yourself up. You'll see her again. Find some peace. Know this was not your fault.
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I'm so sorry to see the news of your loss. You did all you could for your mother and you can take some comfort in that. I can't imagine such pain, but, hope that you can find comfort in fond memories and not those of her passing. Take care of yourself.
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Hugs!!! Everyone has said what I feel in my heart. Please listen to the Medical Examiner. Your mother would not want you to get lost in grief. I am going to pray that God will send his angels to wrap their loving arms around you and help you through this time. As you said, she was already leaving this world for one where there is no pain. Hugs!
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