My Introduction

Welcome Pluvian---

To desire to be of 'good' in the world is a worthy field of study. I'm not sure this particular site will help that much--but I don't know what you're hoping to gain.

A lot of us have put our heart and souls out in grief, anger, frustration and we do so anonymously and therefore, it can get gritty and a little too real for a lot of people. Just a 'warning'.

You may be absolutely appalled at how many of us have living parents with whom we have no relationship, for a variety of reasons. Don't be judgmental.

Many of us have suffered abuse at the hands of the very people who should have loved us without condition--and in our 60's, 70's and beyond we are still trying to make it all 'right'.

Basically--we're human.

I hope this site can be of help to you. It will definitely be an eye opener.

Hi! I remembered your post, and the mixed responses to it. I wondered if you had found another group. For your student project, you could perhaps write about trying to 'join' this one, and being rebuffed. You could raise the issue of ethics. I wonder if any of your class mates 'joined' AA because they were interested in observing people with alcoholism. I think the issue of ethics is really quite interesting in what you were asked to do, and well worth raising in your class. Yours, Margaret

I suggest you follow this site as well. There's no group, but Dr. Leslie Kernisan's blog has been a huge help to me over the years, and she's actually the one who guided me to this site.

https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/

Welcome pluvichan. You have come to a great place, you will see caregivers at their worst and best as they offer their experiences to help others. For the most part this is a very supportive group, and it is a worthwhile group to join.

Due to covid, groups are not what they were a year ago. Many resources are now online, even caregiver support groups sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association. One way to look at participation in a group like this is that it helps to raise awareness. Our posts are available for all to see as soon as we place them out there on the internet, forever. Read the terms of service. Posts that we create do not belong to us, they belong to AC.

Best wishes and success on your educational journey.

Be careful about who you think and call elderly.😉😉 The majority of us are 60's and older and do not consider ourselves old or elderly or declining. 60 is the new 40.

CM,

Fantastic response! My parent’s doctors and nurses always instructed me to allow them to do as much as possible for themselves.

My mom has done rehab and home health well into her 90’s!

The programs work if the person participates.

Mom did participate fully. Mom and I have our issues but I truly admire my mother for working so hard, even with Parkinson’s disease to do all of the exercises that OT and PT instructed her to do.

My dad did the same after heart surgery and his stroke. He was in his mid eighties. He died at 85.

Pluviachan, welcome.

The first thing I would say is that 66 is not old, not even close, and it concerns me that you think of your father as suffering from "age-related decline."

He may have limited mobility from arthritis, and he may have hypertension and (? chronic) heart disease - but these are no reason to encourage him to think of himself as an elderly person in need of a primary caregiver as you describe yourself.

I am all for people with a strong passion joining the social care professions and agree that spending time on this site - especially as you can't interact physically with any groups at the moment - will be instructive for you.

But do start on the right foot! Here is one mantra to help you ensure that you are looking at older people's needs from the correct perspective: what's strong, not what's wrong.

The point is that "the aging group" is as diverse as humanity. You cannot deliver person-centred care if you attempt to "understand their needs" as though once people hit 65 they all turn in to zombies with poor hygiene and need constant supervision.

I'll give you an example and take the opportunity to vent at the same time: Home Instead is running a t.v. advertising campaign at the moment which (apart from being fantasy fiction) shows an attractive young lady doing up her care receiver's shirt buttons and straightening his collar. Aww, cute, the watcher is supposed to think. Dad will be in good hands with this company, let's get them on the phone.

Well, now - this watcher is throwing things at the t.v. and bouncing about in a rage. WHY is the caregiver doing up the shirt buttons of her apparently able-bodied adult client? Is he two? Is he demented? Has he lost his opposable thumbs?

Older people are not helpless infants. To treat them as such robs them of dignity and demotivates them. Don't do it.

Hi Pluvia, are you sure that this site will count as ‘joining a group’ for your course? You can read up issues on Care Topics, you can easily follow other people’s questions and answers, and you can ask your own question if you have something specific you want help with about your father. Apart from that, there is not much personal interaction – which is usually meant by actively ‘joining’ something.

People on this site share very personal information and certainly don’t want to see themselves as raw material for a student. You can see that some people find it quite offensive, which I’m sure is not what you meant! And there isn’t ‘a group’. Do check whether passive monitoring is going to meet your course requirements.

Thank you for your interest in social work. I am so appreciative of the social workers that were there for my family in our time of need with preparing for the care of a loved one and helping everyone to cope in stressful situations.

When my brother was dying in hospice three college students did a thesis on his life.

They chose the right person to speak to because my brother was an open book and was honored to speak to them. He admired them for their interest in older people with significant health issues.

Many times I have heard older people say things like, “The world has forgotten about us, We don’t matter anymore, We are in the way, etc,”

So I am truly sincere when I say that I appreciate your interest in the aging process and individuals who are coping with growing older as well as supporting the caregivers who often feel forgotten as well.

Please feel free to make all of your concerns known to us and we will do our best to assist you.

All the best to you as you travel through your own journey with your father.

Hi All,

Sorry, I am not sure how to reply to each person. Please allow me to respond to everyone here:

Please understand I joined this platform not just for my course but with the sincerity of wanting to learn more from those who have more experience than me. I truly believe advices from this website would help me with the way I give care for my dad as well as apply some of the things I learn here to my assignments with researches. Please trust I will not be exploiting anyone’s personal experience.

Answering to Fraqflyer,
I am still learning about the features. Thank you so much for telling me this.

To answer to AvaDeer,
Thank you so much for your warm welcome. Although my dad is only 66 of age, his workaholic past has caused him to have limited mobility on his upper body. Beside that, he also has severe arthritis that makes it hard for him to walk without assistant, and some other health concerns include high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart condition. As his primary caregiver, I take care of assisting with whatever his needs including medicines reminder, meal prepping, bedding, cleaning, translating for him and taking him to doctor visits.

Answering to CTTN55,
Thank you for your comment. I would like to say you are wrong. Yes, this place will help me with some of my assignments but I have joined with the dedication that it could be helpful for how I can care for my father. Even after my class ends, I will be sticking around to learn more.

Overall,
I truly would like to thank everyone for responding to my introduction. Please do not hesitate to correct me from any wrongs. And please understand I joined not only because of my class, but because I would to really learn for my dad’s care and would like to know more about elderly care.

pluviachan22, welcome to the forum. Are you ready to read? Go to the blue/green bar at the top of the screen, click on CARE TOPICS. You will find a ton of material to read with excellent advice.

If you run into a problem where you cannot find a certain topic, and your cross-eyed from all the reading, go ahead and ask us a question. We will try to help you out.

Welcome, Pluvia. You will surely get a lot of information about the problems and how people deal with them.
Can you tell me what sort of care your Dad is needing? He is very young to need care of one of his children.
Social workers to me (retired RN) are the HEROES of working with elders, the "miracle workers" in getting coordinated what care exists. Along with Physical Therapists, who are often the best diagnosticians in the entire world, I salute all of them and wish you great good luck in your studies.

Absolutely agree, Stacy. When I read "I believe this platform will help me" that is the only reason the poster comes here.

Most of the people on this forum are your father's age and they are the caregivers for your grandparent's generation, so you aren't likely to find a lot of people seeing things from your perspective. If you truly want to understand about elder care I suggest you read and learn, active participation isn't necessay.

I will state my opinion on this. People on this forum come here because alot of them are burnout and need support not to be a project for a class. I do not personally believe in exploiting people for a class project.

If you had a specific question or survey, I would be more than willing to answer that though. Get it aporoved through the site.