Mum has no memory at all, yet lives unsupervised.

I can sympathize. That is my mother, still living in an independent senior facility who refuses to move. It is very very frustrating because she is just independent enough to refuse help. All you can do is try to keep her safe, take over the essentials and hope for the best because eventually a crisis will happen and then we can move her directly from the hospital to assisted or managed care. That is what Mom's doctor said to us.

At a recent Teepa Snow presentation she stated the statistic that only three in ten people with dementia have the care that they need. I imagine that is due to those with the disease deny that they need help in which case the family should step in. Another issue is family members that are in denial, or do not want to spend their inheritance. APPALLING!

Hi. Bast 1965 here. Now several weeks since mum has been discharged from hospital into a NURSING HOME. All doctors and nurses say it should have happened five years ago. They say mum and the family doctor were totally unreasonable with me - especially given my own medical problems.

Bast, I'm so, so happy that this has all worked out for you and your mum! How are YOU doing? Glad to hear from you.

Bast, great all is finally coming together! This must be such a relief for you

Your situation is dangerous, mum needs to be supervised. Living next door is probably not enough. IN the US she would likely be in a Memory Unit, a sort of specialized NH.
I understand she refuses help, but what about if you are not available, if you lived elsewhere? I am sure you can research options in your area on the internet, and I am certain their is a process for funding and getting her admitted.
Sad situation in any continent. best of luck.

It is indeed a big relief to finally have mum in permanent SECURE accommodation. She was finally assessed as being a danger to herself and others. The medicos said she and my family doctor were very rough on me forcing me to be mums sole carer just because I lived next door and am on disability pension because of medical issues of my own.

i actually did worsen my own disabilities looking after mum. I now have recurrent sciatica and restless legs syndrome.

the family doctor knew all this world happen to me, but he said i had to care alone for mum anyway just because I have a disability.

it wasn't until i threatened him with legal action that he got scared and referred mum to a geriatric specialist. The rest is now history. Mum is finally in permanent care which they now say should have happened five years ago.

as for me, i am changing doctors. Id dearly love to complain to my new doctor about my old one, but i don't think id better

Glad to hear things are better for you now!

I wouldn't complain to your new doctor. I would write a nicely worded, unemotional letter to whatever governmental body licenses physicians in Australia. He sounds like a sadist to me.

he sounds like my mums doc yep a sadist!! no need for you to have suffered all that but glad youre ok now and mums safe!