I have learned that dementia, shall we say, amplifies the personality. Thus, if you were prone to fabrication and lies, then dementia will make those personality traits all that much more apparent. I despise my mother. I have uncovered pieces of misinformation leading all the way back to her childhood. These little "lies" directly affect me. At this point, I can't stand interacting with her. I don't mind paying the bills and all that, but I just cannot interact with her anymore. I need help from the nursing home, but when I ask, they don't seem to give me anything other than a goat-eyed stare. I'm at wits end.

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she's in a nursing home; do you really have to go visit her? I don't want to be cruel or mean, but she is taken care of. you need to take care of yourself. I finally started taking care of myself 2 years ago. I had a very bad drinking problem that lasted 6 months. I managed to pull myself out and went to a therapist. Go take care of yourself. Let the nursing home deal with your mother. Believe me, it's not worth the stress, the energy, the damage to your mental health

You might also look into seeing a mental health professional. Therapy might allow you to move past your sense of betrayal.

Would you be able to do that, do you think?

I'm copying/pasting this info to your new post, so those answering your questions and offering advice have a full picture.

Do you really need to interact with your mom, since she is being cared for in a facility?

Can you call in once a week to the nurses and inquire about her health? And if she needs anything?

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