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I feel like I'm at my wits end.

It will probably sound stupid, but I was carrying in bottled water from the car (weighs about 100lbs) probably, and I see my mom staring at me through the window while I'm struggling to get into the door.

My mom is disabled, but can walk with a walker - she even makes her own breakfast and does stuff around the house. She could walk to the door.

It didn't really bother me that she was watching me through the window instead of trying to get to the door to open it for me, but what really upset me was when I came in. I was huffing and puffing from the strain, and my back even hurts a bit from it.

And she has the nerve to stare at me and say "You didn't lock the car."

So, I say "You could lock it" - which she could. She has a set of keys. She could have locked it to help me out. Then I say "And you could have opened the door for me - but you were just sitting there watching through the window"...

Then she starts saying "YOU just want to argue! You looove arguing with me. You don't respect me!"

I mean seriously? Am I supposed to stay quiet about it? Hold it all inside? I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She does this a lot - making ME feel guilty, when I go out of my way to help her all the time. She honestly DOES NOT understand.

On top of all this - I have huge resentments toward her about stuff that happened years ago and I just can't let go of it. And when she talks to me like this I just reach my boiling point.

I just need to vent. Ugh!

My back still is sore a bit from that damn bottled water. And the car is safely locked! I've spoken maybe 20 words to my mom today.

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Full Moon. Cabin Fever. Post Holiday Stress. You need a spa day.
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Agreed! You aint seen nothing yet. Go give your mom a hug. You are the responsible adult now. Next time have the water delivered, the delivery man will carry it right into the house, let the past go. If you can't stand your Mom move her out.
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jennyd, you sound just like me. I even brought home water today, though not 100 lbs of it. I am not as sympathetic about your mother as others are, mainly because I know my mother has always been lazy. I'll be bringing home groceries and doing whatever else to serve her-highness and she won't even open the door for me. This isn't recent -- she has always been lazy. Sometimes I tell her how much I miss Dad, because he would at least open the door for me. She doesn't care and there is no way to make her. I resent her lifelong laziness a lot. It has made my time with her difficult. The first two years were spent cleaning up 40 years of neglect of the house, and it is still in bad shape. It is one of the things that bothers me most about being here. She treats me like a slave.
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I have to add that my mother has been lazy for 87 years, so I don't see much possibility for change. Her sister told me that when my mother was young that she didn't want to cook or work in the fields. She always didn't feel good or something. So they let her do laundry and wash dishes. It is funny because the only thing she will do now is her laundry and washing the dinner dishes. Old habits persist even into old age.
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Keep venting here, but when it comes to your Mom I assume she has dementia and it will only make matters worse to argue with her.. I have to tell myself that every day, all day long!!! Hugs...
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