Just out of a bad , neglectful placement situation, for MOM
I found a "christian" private home for my mom back in dec 08. I was completly maniupulated and my mom is very much a peaceful person with mild cog. impairment was being told over and over by the owner/caregiver"DOn't I take good care of you?" A wekk after placement the owner /cgr started hounding me for money even though we had a signed agreement in tact. I was tormented by this lady. But Mom kept saying she was coneten. I checke dthis woman out thru counsel of aging , online and other sources. Nothing really negative to find. I was with my Mom nearly 3 times a day for the first 3 months. SHe is my best friend. Eventually the woman put a bike lock on the gate that enters her front yard. My mom was in a rheum. falre up and in pain for over 2 months. I ws bein g told that the docs were aware and supervising. Until the light went off and I went to introduce myself to her doc. He was UNAWARE of her condition. This woman had STOPPPED giving my mom most of her meds period. THEN this woman took my mom to a bank branch against her will and was demanding that the teller allow my Mom to give her 5 grand. By this time I had contacted Adult Protection Services and had Mom's accnt restricted. This woman gave me a hrad time about getting my Mom out for exersize or even getting away fro a weekend or two. She would let the clients there sit in front tof the TV for 16 to 18 ours a day. She refused to use air conditioning and so much more. This lady was NOT used to any family invovlment what so ever. SO I was a big challenge to her and she treated me with contempt and contstantly accused me of spying on her. Finally I had to take Mom out withAdult Pro. and that weekend Mom had to be at thee ER as her kidney was malfunctioning. You really have to cover all bases. To protect loved ones you HAVE to be intamtly involved and this process demands one on one observance. I don't think that placement for a parent that you love can be done long distance. It is one of thee single most money making situations right now. Our parents and loved ones are being robbed of theri dignity , theri life savings and more.
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I often think of hiring an alternative Guardian, but don't trust anyone to care for my Mom like I would. She's difficult, and sometimes I want to hand over her care, but that wouldn't give me the control or flexibility I'm looking for. I'd still have to watch, not only Mom, but another Caregiver, or facility, as well. Sometimes our elders are vulnerable. Only through diligence and direct observation are we able to see to their care.
Good looking out for your Mom, amcdbac! Thanks for sharing your story, as a reminder to others. Take care.