I have recently been visitor to respite - Sister in low care (independant living) & Mum in high care (nursing home).
If/when this become permanent one day, I would certainly prefer the location to be 'around the corner' instead of 30min drive (& longer in traffic)! I could have popped in far more frequently but also popped out easier too if a bad day!
In low care (AL) a lof of folk had rooms full of belongings, books, music, hobbies. Some went out too. A few just drifted along but most looked to be actively planning & steering their lives.
In high care (NH) it was reversed. Two glamourous but frail ladies walked about with cane & wheeler. Dresses, jewels & makeup on. Went out too. But a lot more were slumped in wheelchairs & wheeled about from TV room dining room etc.
It seemed to me if you were able to stay interested in your surrounds you had a chance to be engaged, occupied & useful (some set the table).
While Mum said she hated it (I saw her looking settled), said the food was sort of ok (but ate it all), not much to do (buf looked engaged joining in all the activities). By fhe end of her stay she had settled into the routine & was much calmer.
I think having/getting the mindset to find enjoyable activities is key. Or leaning to fit in like my Mum did.
Craft arvo may not be your Dad's thing... can they run some fishing DVDs? Can he get into the garden?
That's true, (with some elderly) that their complaining is constant. It hurts us, (mostly cuz we wish they were happy), but also cuz it's just such a downer! We're human beings, & need lots of positivity to erase their negativity... So keep scheduling good things for yourself that will renew your spirit.
tiger 55 ,cwillie and flyer thanks for the share.yes thought this was ideal 4 my dad around the corner with the best care but guess what you would think id put him in a prison.he whinges and all is negative a completely changed man to who he was.still believes he can care 4 himself but cannot and go fishing even lol, hates the food hates the ppl and so on.i get a bit anxious when i visit now or take him out because i know what I'm going 2 hear.gets me down.
Hi kimbo, I was the only caregiver for my mom, cuz siblings were dead & other relatives lived far away. She struggled many years to stay in her own apartment, but a few years ago I found an ALF for her. It was hard for her to transition to a such a social environment. I visited twice a week, the first year she was there, to make things easier for her. I hear Australia is a beautiful country.
If you read through the longer threads you will see that they are mostly about people venting, so vent away. You are right probably 95% of the people on the forum are American but there are a few from Australia, Canada, the UK and anywhere else english is spoken.... caregiving knows no borders.
hi flyer and tiger 55 and i think there was a country mouse in there....1st of all ty 4 your response as i was quite impatient having 2 remember u guys r prob usa and I'm in aus ...and next excuse my grammar typing not my forte lol.just wanted to vent so bad last night and who's better then ppl in similar situations. id like 2 here your stories as well and i know 4 sure ppl r having a much harder time than i. ty again very much kind hearts and just the fact that we look after our parents in 1 way or another is i think we can all pat ourselves and each other on the bk
crazykimbo, my Mom was in long-term-care also just around the corner from me. Being close was helpful, as my Dad's caregiver could drive him over to see Mom at lunch time, and the caregiver helped to feed Mom.
Then later on, my Dad moved to Independent Living which was just a couple miles down the road. Being close made it easy for his neighbor from the old neighborhood to come and visit with him.
How is your Dad doing? Does he like living in the nursing home?
If/when this become permanent one day, I would certainly prefer the location to be 'around the corner' instead of 30min drive (& longer in traffic)! I could have popped in far more frequently but also popped out easier too if a bad day!
In low care (AL) a lof of folk had rooms full of belongings, books, music, hobbies. Some went out too. A few just drifted along but most looked to be actively planning & steering their lives.
In high care (NH) it was reversed. Two glamourous but frail ladies walked about with cane & wheeler. Dresses, jewels & makeup on. Went out too. But a lot more were slumped in wheelchairs & wheeled about from TV room dining room etc.
It seemed to me if you were able to stay interested in your surrounds you had a chance to be engaged, occupied & useful (some set the table).
While Mum said she hated it (I saw her looking settled), said the food was sort of ok (but ate it all), not much to do (buf looked engaged joining in all the activities). By fhe end of her stay she had settled into the routine & was much calmer.
I think having/getting the mindset to find enjoyable activities is key. Or leaning to fit in like my Mum did.
Craft arvo may not be your Dad's thing... can they run some fishing DVDs? Can he get into the garden?
Then later on, my Dad moved to Independent Living which was just a couple miles down the road. Being close made it easy for his neighbor from the old neighborhood to come and visit with him.
How is your Dad doing? Does he like living in the nursing home?