Is there any sense to end of life care to the point of keeping us alive as long as possible?

Part of life is death. It is part of God's plan. It isn't terrible to die, it is another step in our existence. Is it better to live "no life" or to find rest? I choose the latter for my loved one.

I wonder about this frequently. As stated below, the worst stage of life being dragged out in slow motion is a nightmare to me. It mostly seems by the time we get to that point, we have no options to chose independently and are at the mercy of the medical community. Loved ones sit by hoping for a miracle. All this at what cost? I really wish we had an "eject" button.

Once quality of life is at a very low level, there is no point, IMHO. Advance directives and DNRs do need to be paid attention to and they will be heeded.

Ellwood, I agree completely. I think we've "evolved" to caring about quality of life only once someone enters hospice, but that emphasis on quality should be a lifelong goal. The problem is that one you start with all the treatments and medications, when do you (or a family member) say enough is enough?

About two weeks ago I had my mother's hospice nurse discontinue all her medications. We haven't been trying to keep her alive, but she was on medications to regulate her heart rate, to fight gout and the associated pain, and medications to help her sleep. I started reading a book called "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End," by Atul Gawande, and the next day I asked the nurse "Are we doing TOO much?" That's when she said to me, "Well, I've been wanting to talk to you about that."

HUH? Why didn't they talk to me about it sooner? My mother has been on a glacially slow decline for the past 7 1/2 months, and instead of declining the rest of the way from when we put her on hospice, she actually improved because she was receiving such great care. No medications have been added other than the gout meds, because she developed that from drinking nothing but Ensure for the past several months, but we didn't remove the other medications because we didn't want to trigger a stroke and make her existence worse while still alive. It's like walking a tightrope trying to figure out what was the best treatment and what to withhold, but we've finally reached a point where the medications aren't being metabolized any longer, so it's easy to stop them now.

I highly recommend that book, "Being Mortal." It's excellent, and it's made me really think long and hard about any medical intervention I might need in the future. No one wants to die, but honestly, when we develop a heart issue or cancer, isn't our body trying to tell us something? Why don't we listen?

I do believe that the medical profession is trying to make as much money as they can. I say that kindly because of all the moral, ethical, and religious feelings that go along with end of life. It is just very very difficult, which is why everyone is going to know what I want while I still have my physical health. I do not want medical intervention for a life ending condition.

Amen! Nine months ago hospice told us my mother (stage4 breast cancer/copd, bedridden in her own home) would live only a couple more weeks. She was very peaceful at the time, sleeping a lot and eating little--on her journey, as they say. Then hospice decided to put her on a very powerful steroid (for reasons they didn't explain). So she's basically now on a kind of life support, unrecognizable from the person she used to be ('roid raging, fat, and eating junk food nonstop, unable to do anything but watch tv all day) and her spouse/primary caregiver (I am the only other caregiver, live half hour away) is declining more rapidly than she is. Hospice doesn't seem to notice or care about their poor quality of life. In fact, I believe our for-profit hospice is milking them for the Medicare payments. Mom's spouse does whatever hospice tells him to do in spite of his own decline, in spite of my opinion/input. IF he outlives her, he won't have much life left to enjoy. In my opinion the worst stage of my mother's life is being dragged out in slow motion and no one cares but me! Even friends say "Isn't it great she's still alive though?!" as if it's some kind of contest. Alive at all costs, a very strange concept.