I’m in search of a catchy phrase that I can say to myself other than “this too shall pass” just to keep myself going.

Some people don’t wish to say anything at all. Sometimes there aren’t words that accurately describe every emotion that we feel.

A sound proof room would come in handy for when you feel like screaming! No words. Just a gut wrenching scream!

SendHelp, no, not a former Marine...a former corrections officer. Same sense of gallows' humor, I suppose.

Shell,

I don’t know why your statement reminded me of this funny memory of my neighbor growing up.

It was years ago! I was a teenager. I am 65 now.

You said, “Will it matter in a thousand years from now?”

I used to lay out in my yard in my bikini to get a tan.

My neighbor used to open her window and holler at me, “Honey, you are such a beautiful young girl.

If you keep laying out in the sun to get a tan, you are going to have wrinkles when you get old.”

I can’t believe I told her this, but you know how we can be as kids, especially teenagers!

I said back to her, “I DON’T CARE how I look as an old woman!

Old people have wrinkles! I want to look good now. I am working on my tan!”

She closed her window and never told me about wrinkles again! LOL

I loved this neighbor, even though I didn’t pay attention to her about the sun and wrinkles.

I don’t have any wrinkles. I think it’s genetic.

My grandmother didn’t have wrinkles, nor my mom and she’s 95!

But I do get your message about, “Will it matter in a thousand years?”

I don’t think I can think of anything that will matter then! LOL 😂

In the big scheme of life, a lot of things don’t matter.

NHWM,
That's a funny story! LOL

My mother would tell me the samething about laying out in the sun as a teenager. Of course, my response was, "I don't care! Hopefully I'll be dead by time I hit 35 yrs of age and I won't get wrinkles because I'll be dead." Which was a dumb statement on my part, but at the time, I thought 35 was old and I didn't want to get old because old people never have any fun!! Now that I am way past 35 I see that getting old might be hard, but you still can have lots of fun!

And it is true, in a thousand years nothing we have or do or even the problems we face won't matter!!!

Shell,

Oh my gosh! LOL 😝

Remember when we were young, we thought any people past 30 were ancient!

Now I look at a 30 year old as being a kid! 😂

It’s funny looking at my youngest daughter. She looks so much like me when I was young.

I always looked younger than I am and I got furious when my aunt paid a child price at the movies for me when I was already a teenager.

I remember telling her, “I am not a 12 year old!” Her response was, “Shhhhhh, I am saving a little bit of money!” 🤣

It is what it is!

NHWM,
LOL!!! Yup, I remember thinking 30 was old too!

I was very small for my age and when my dad would takes us to the drive-in theater he would tell me "if anyone asks you how old you are, tell them that your 5 and I would be 7 yrs old." Just because anyone 5 and under got in for free. He would always knock my age down by a few yrs to save a few dollars.

I too always looked younger then my age. Of course, living with my mother has age me 5 to 6 yrs...now, I think I look my age. Ugh!!!

Shell,

Yes! The stress of being a caregiver can age us!

When my mom was here. I was always so tired!!!

Instead of feeling like I was in my sixties, I felt like I was in my 90’s like my mom!

Shell,

I used to love going to drive in movies. They were so fun!

OMG, I'm sorry, but I just burst out laughing thinking of the time I was beyond terrified facing some oral surgery and sought out some help from a psychologist who helped me. I practiced with tapes he made and he had me regularly repeat I am becoming...calm....and. ...relaxed. Which was so ridiculous I would often laugh to myself when I focused on that and say to myself "I am becoming tense and hysterical. Sorry I don't have an answer for you. Wish I did.

I have found the perfect phrase to tell myself when I need a break and need to look at reality for what it is! Who owns the problem? That is the statement I tell myself when I need to put it in perspective and it really helps!

Earlyabuse - that question of yours "Who owns the problem?" really helps put a clear perspective on the issues. If something is not our problem to own, we really should try to not carry it around and worry about it. Very helpful.

Well, a lot of you are using the phrase "It won't matter in a thousand years", which is good, but I've always said "Will it matter in 10 years?" That always seemed to nip a problem in the bud for me.

It makes it more realistic and personal.

When us kids would start worrying and "what iffing", my grandmother would say to us:
"What if" one thing,
"What if" another.
What if a bullfrog was your mother?

The moral: It's silly to sit around what-iffing.

Otherwise, my teacher in high school used to say; if my grandfather had wheels he would be a chariot...
As your grandmother said it's nonsense wondering 'ifs'.
I sometimes say to myself what a Spanish friend said about my mum.. Small but strong! (I am 150cm ;-))

I found this sentence by Seneca by chance and thought it is worth sharing it:
“Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all, – the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet.”

Anche71, your quote from Seneca took me back decades to an ancient history class and the wise words of some of the citizens of Greece and Rome.  I haven't heard Seneca's name mentioned since that class.

I think it's time to dig out some history books and segue back in time; there still can be so much to be learned from the ancients.

Thanks for inspiring this mental trip across the Atlantic.

Garden Artist, I am glad you liked the quote. I am now copying quotations on a journal... I will share some more if it is ok.

Anche, please do share!   I also used to collect quotes and had some good ones, but I don't know where they are now!

Perhaps I need a quote for how to keep track of things.

When you're going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end. John Lennon


I'm just getting around to reading this thread. The one about we'll burn that bridge when we get to it reminded me of a funny story. Years ago I heard that quote somewhere, liked it, and started using it. Recently one of my sons told me that he was in college before he realized the original saying was cross that bridge when we get to it.

"it's not worth the bail money"

My cousin has a phrase that has kept me going:
"Nothing will ever get better...it will only get different"
It has helped me to accept the changes as I go forward.

No to do list (I have translated it into English. Hope it is ok).
* try to please everyone
* say yes when I'like saying no
* ignore my needs and my limits
* compare myself to others and juge myself
* wait to be exhausted to rest
* force myself to do what others expect me to do
* underestimate or ignore my emotions
* pretend to be fine when I am not
* wait for someone else to make me happy

Anche,

Excellent! You just described how I was in the past! You probably described half of this forum.

You can’t change someone else, but you can change your reaction to that person.

Needhelp, it was posted by a friend I thought it is exactly how I feel, what I should not have done. I thought it would "speak" to others as well so I translated it...
I am now going to copy it in my journal!

Scarlett: I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

That is the quote I think about when I've had it for the day... then, go to bed, and even if the problem is still there tomorrow, I'm rested and will have more patience in the morning.

Many times near the end of the day, my Mom sees something or hears something on TV that triggers a memory or "issue" and she gets focused on something and wants to start a serious conversation which never ends well... I have to repeat a bunch of times, and/or she gets argumentative.

So, I finally started using a new approach, saying in a light-hearted tone.... Remember, it's after 5, no more thinking today :) Let's just enjoy the show !
We'll talk in the morning. And then we just watch something entertaining, funny, etc. And in the morning, she doesn't remember whatever it was that was bothering her.

I read a quote that said trust the water to hold you up and use your energy to go forward. I like it

A friend posted this on her Facebook wall yesterday
Do something that makes you happy everyday until it becomes a habit.

Go to bed, go to sleep
For the morning brings more wisdom than the evening.

(from an old Russian fairy tale)

I just keep saying, "I'm doing what I know is best for her (MC), and I can't fix her."