If you could go back in time, what would you warn yourself about caregiving? One or two sentences.

I’d say to myself: Poodle, I’ve given you tons of wise advice. But the question is: do you have wise ears?

Don’t stop working, get more help than you think you need.

Remember me, my dreams, my ambitions.

Put a time limit on your commitment to caregiving 24/7.
It is not sustainable, not healthy for you or the recipient.

Don't "promise" anything that may require you to become their caregiver in the future. Even saying "I will be there for you" can be misconstrued by some that you will be at their beck and call.

Don't allow guilt to break your boundaries and give more than you should and more than someone deserves.

Don’t take it on! I say that 6 years into it. Never again.

Take care of yourself first and set boundaries. Be aware that you cannot make they happy.

It is mentally, emotionally and physically impossible to be all things to all people and admitting/acknowledging that is nothing for which to feel guilty.

Don't make promise that you don't know if you can keep.

First take care of yourself...brew a cup of tea.

Accept that it is what it is...no fixing is going to happen.

Then provide comfort.

Convince mom to get a cancer screening (do it when her doctor said the cancer lump first formed and not wait several years before it was noticed on her own at home) and hope she's willing to listen and follow through with the screening.

If she doesn't listen, be prepared to essentially give up everything, not have a life, and get very few breaks.

Impress on the loved one to take care of themselves, and not focus so much on others.

Say no more often.

Respite care.

1) Boundaries = professional and mental survival.
2) Save for neurological problems that may be the cause, do not accept ongoing verbal abuse or being taken advantage of.

Boundaries...in all areas.

Don't wait until you are maxed out to talk to a doctor.

Save yourself, then save others.

Be prepared to have to choose between keeping them safe and making them happy. The realization that I could not accomplish both hit me hard.

That your best is all you can do, and that that will be good enough.
and
You are just as important as the one you're caring for, so please make sure you are caring for yourself if you want to survive the journey, which often times can be longer than you ever thought or expected.

That it can go on far longer than you ever imagined, and that people can (and do) live a long time as physically dependent as a newborn.

1) No good deed goes unpunished.
2) Mind your own business, care only for those in your immediate family or household.

That sometimes there are no "best" choices, just the "least bad" ones.