If you could escape your caregiving duties, where would you go?
While reading JohnDBarry34's post, "I am so very tired and sad.", I realized that we all want and need to escape our responsibilities of caring for our loved one for awhile. It's normal when we feel trapped in a difficult situation, without being able to see the end of our duties. For many of us, the whole 24 hours are spent catering to our loved ones. Even though we love them, we want to leave at times, to cultivate our lives, enjoy and have fun.
So, my question is;
Where would you go? Would it be close to home, another city, around the world or out of this world. Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and let your mind journey to a happy place.
My "happy place" is the beach in Bucerias, Nayarit, Mexico. We used to go with friends when we lived there and we had such a good time. The sand was clean and fine grain, which felt great between the toes, the sun was warm with a faint ocean breeze, and you could wade out quite far in the ocean to catch little waves with the boogie boards. The pelicans would fly in formation high in the sky.
The ladies would set to work on making ceviche and the guys would bring out the Coronas. Everyone would sit under the canopy, eating, talking and laughing. After having our fill, more ocean time. At the end of the day we'd pile into our pickup, sandy and content.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes for the good memories. My heart longs to be there once more. On really hard caregiving days, I close my eyes for a minute and think back to the good times on that beach. It renews me for awhile, like a 2 minute vacation. It also gives me hope that it will still be there when all this madness is over. Hope is what keeps us going.
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I have always wanted to spend Christmas in Paris. I'm thinking a month from early December through New Years.
Failing that - Christmas at the Oregon Coast. A month renting a small cabin on the beach for me, hubby, Rainman and our three little dogs. This one may actually be do-able... some day.
I'd also go to Czechoslovakia/Czech Republic to see the magnificent Art Nouveau works of art.
I'll just leave it at that for a while as I indulge in daydreams of waltzing in Vienna on New Years Eve. When I'm more down to earth, I'll think about where I'd really be able to go on a limited budget.
As the sole responsible family member for my cousin, I really can't venture far from her MC facility. She's late stage now and you never know what will happen. I do sometimes think about my past trips to London, Paris, Mexico, but, I think that I will be able to travel more one day. London is a special city for me. In fact, I just adore England. If I can't make it there, then, I'll make do with visiting the lovely NC beaches in my own state.
I did some 5 day trips but I always wanted to spend a summer completely circling the US. But, by the time my caregiving is done I'll probably be riding a Geri scooter to the mailbox.
Same small cities/town keep popping up in my research, so now I am curious. I would like to walk those streets of downtown [if they still exist] where pass relatives [like great-great-great aunts and uncles] might have walked. With the internet I can sometimes find the street address, and what the house/apartment currently looks like [if the home wasn't torn down]. This is just on my Dad's side of the family as they came to the U.S. in the 1700's.
FF, your genealogy trip is quite interesting, and can be done from the comfort of home, especially in the winter, with a mug of hot chocolate on your desk!
I dream of having a little place on either Greek Island of Mykonos or Santorini - on a beach side hill. Those are the all white, seaside villages one sees in the Greek travel ads.
For four years I had a Greek boyfriend/fiancé and immersed myself in all things Greek. Even a long vacation there. I love the food - even learned to be quite the Greek cook! So yes - my own little place. The only problem is - I hate the heat! Anything over 80 degrees is uncomfortable- over 90 and I turn into a raging lunatic!
Still... one can dream.
But a quiet little mountain house .. on the side of a winding long road through the woods. That sounds wonderful to me. If I could live in that kind of setting, it just seems like it would be a peaceful oasis from the stress of the world.
I am (was) an OT and countless times I counseled caregivers to make sure to take care of themselves, as I would have the caregivers as patients in rehab, worn down and sick from the stress of caregiving. Now I’m taking my own advice.
Momshelp, the Hawaii travel programs can often be a vacation in and of themselves, especially if they're accompanied by the soft, lovely and lilting Hawaiian songs. The islands are so lovely, so peaceful (except for the volcanic activity) that for me just watching the programs is like a real journey. Sometimes I even eat pineapple to pretend I'm in Hawaii!
(I've tried the gentle swaying dances but still have a long way to go to become proficient and graceful!)
You can literally feel as though you're there. My longing is always increased by watching these, so I have to pull out my bank statement to get me back to reality.
Uh, oh, my visions just flashed to a gently sloped mountainside with a herder taking his or her sheep up to feeding grounds. I can even hear the tinkling of cowbells from another herd somewhere!
I think you'd love such a trip - I would!
I love the NAT Geo programs and website. There's a contest on now for best photographs. The photos are incredible, just unbelievably stunning. (PM me if you want a link.)
While I know that I can't go anyway too far right now, I know that one day, I'l be able. I'll have to work extra hard, but, it's doable. I hope my new husband will be on board.
Momshelp,
In July I want to hear EVERY detail about Hawai'i. I've been once but that's just the frosting on the cake! Good for you guys. Think positive, it WILL work out.
Garden Artist,
I wouldn't normally encourage someone to max out their credit card, but I can "see" you hiking in the long grass and edelweiss of the Austrian hills with your walking stick! Go, take a slew of pictures and I'll bet you'd win the Nat Geo contest!
Dadsdew,
Yeah, you probably are trapped, as many of us are. But this thread is for dreaming---fantasy that can turn into reality!
Where would you go if money, time and caregiving wasn't a problem?
Changing direction a bit, as Fall creeps in and Winter isn't too far behind, does anyone dream about being out in the wild hiking in the snow, or even just being in a log cabin, warmed by a fireplace, relaxing with a warm quilt, and just watching the winter activity of birds and possibly a few 4 legged critters?
Or dreaming of baking something you've grown or stored from a garden and allowing the fragrance of that freshly baked dessert, or better yet home made bread, waft through the house and tempt you?
well, I suppose it might be alright if someone else was bringing in the firewood and serving me a just-from-the-oven bread and dessert, but you had better have a nice furnace that kicks in after the fire dies down at night.