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While reading JohnDBarry34's post, "I am so very tired and sad.", I realized that we all want and need to escape our responsibilities of caring for our loved one for awhile. It's normal when we feel trapped in a difficult situation, without being able to see the end of our duties. For many of us, the whole 24 hours are spent catering to our loved ones. Even though we love them, we want to leave at times, to cultivate our lives, enjoy and have fun.


So, my question is;
Where would you go? Would it be close to home, another city, around the world or out of this world. Close your eyes for a couple of minutes and let your mind journey to a happy place.


My "happy place" is the beach in Bucerias, Nayarit, Mexico. We used to go with friends when we lived there and we had such a good time. The sand was clean and fine grain, which felt great between the toes, the sun was warm with a faint ocean breeze, and you could wade out quite far in the ocean to catch little waves with the boogie boards. The pelicans would fly in formation high in the sky.
The ladies would set to work on making ceviche and the guys would bring out the Coronas. Everyone would sit under the canopy, eating, talking and laughing. After having our fill, more ocean time. At the end of the day we'd pile into our pickup, sandy and content.


I feel tears welling up in my eyes for the good memories. My heart longs to be there once more. On really hard caregiving days, I close my eyes for a minute and think back to the good times on that beach. It renews me for awhile, like a 2 minute vacation. It also gives me hope that it will still be there when all this madness is over. Hope is what keeps us going.

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Somewhere remote where there is no cellphone coverage and no internet so that my husband and I could unplug. I'd really love if it they didn't have telephones!!! I've always wanted to go to Iceland, camp under the Northern Lights, hike through the forest, take a sled ride, ride horses, sit in hot springs, eat delicious food, drink amazing libations, and meet new people who have interesting things to say.
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I am my husband’s caregiver. He is immobile, incontinent and even through many rehabs and tons of therapy, he has never made much effort to regain mobility. I don’t think I would want to “escape”. My wish would be to have my husband healthy or at least mobile again and then escape somewhere with him.
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My caregiving duties for my parents is over - but I still have my caregiving duties for my son. I hope to be able to care for Rainman for a long, long time - but I wouldn't say "no" to a long vacation.

I have always wanted to spend Christmas in Paris. I'm thinking a month from early December through New Years.

Failing that - Christmas at the Oregon Coast. A month renting a small cabin on the beach for me, hubby, Rainman and our three little dogs. This one may actually be do-able... some day.
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I try to do some things now. I am a distance caregiver and 80 yrs old so if I don't do things now, I may never do them. I am not comfortable going out of the country much as I have POA duties, but I enjoy smaller trips within the country. One day I would like to go to Europe again - maybe a river cruise in Germany, a trip to Greece, revisiting Italy ... There is so much to see. I haven't been in a Museum or an art gallery for years. A concert under the stars would be great.
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In a dream world in which I had enough money to go wherever I want, I'd go to Austria, probably Vienna, as well as Paris. and travel around to see all the marvelous chateaux, including Giverny and Chenonceau.

I'd also go to Czechoslovakia/Czech Republic to see the magnificent Art Nouveau works of art.

I'll just leave it at that for a while as I indulge in daydreams of waltzing in Vienna on New Years Eve. When I'm more down to earth, I'll think about where I'd really be able to go on a limited budget.
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Knowing this time would come, hubby push me to visit most of the places I wanted to see and do what I had always dreamed of. I did! I took thousands of photos from 40 different countries in a 12 year period. My travel window did close. Hubby in at home hospice, and mom has issues too. So I know have all those photos to sort through, which is great. When my travel widow opens again, it will be a one week trip to Vegas or a cruise to anywhere. Bottom line a week of doing nothing for anyone. A week of pure me time to recharge the batteries.
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I really enjoyed reading about all these places that you want to visit. Oh my, they sound wonderful.

As the sole responsible family member for my cousin, I really can't venture far from her MC facility. She's late stage now and you never know what will happen. I do sometimes think about my past trips to London, Paris, Mexico, but, I think that I will be able to travel more one day. London is a special city for me. In fact, I just adore England. If I can't make it there, then, I'll make do with visiting the lovely NC beaches in my own state.
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I did motorcycling touring for many years but sold my last bike about 3 years ago. I know motorcycles are pretty stupid, especially for old guys, but I miss it.

I did some 5 day trips but I always wanted to spend a summer completely circling the US. But, by the time my caregiving is done I'll probably be riding a Geri scooter to the mailbox.
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Since doing my family tree has become a part-time job for me, I have found there were certain parts of the U.S. where many had lived their whole life, of which I never had visited.

Same small cities/town keep popping up in my research, so now I am curious. I would like to walk those streets of downtown [if they still exist] where pass relatives [like great-great-great aunts and uncles] might have walked. With the internet I can sometimes find the street address, and what the house/apartment currently looks like [if the home wasn't torn down]. This is just on my Dad's side of the family as they came to the U.S. in the 1700's.
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Windy, have you ever read Robert Persig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? It's really not about either; it's about a self discovery trip on a motorcycle across the US.

FF, your genealogy trip is quite interesting, and can be done from the comfort of home, especially in the winter, with a mug of hot chocolate on your desk!
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I did something a little outrageous recently. It's not often that I go outside the box, since caregiving, but, I recently stood in line to get FRONT row tickets to see my favorite performer! I'm so psyched! That will be my excursion, if not for only one night. It's not until Feb. 2018 though. Lots of time to anticipate!
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Yes GA, I have read the book ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE once in my twenties and again a few years ago. It's a classic travelogue with mechanical tips and philosophy.  Odd combination but he made it come together well. It's one of the best books that captures the experience of traveling by motorcycle.
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I would move back up north. New York, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, anywhere in the northeast. Probably following a job. I'd like to do that right now, honestly. I hate Florida. The heat and humidity make me avoid the outdoors and I'm really an outdoorsy sort of person. I love the seasons. Even snow. I'd probably move back to western New York state if I could find a job there. Or the Lehigh valley area in Pennsylvania. Beautiful, cool places!
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to bed
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A lovely fully tricked out Travel trailer in NH,, or any place in the woods or near water.. with internet of course!! Or a similar cabin!  In fact I dream of opening a BNB in new England,, which is pretty funny since I HATE snow..  but I love the idea of being snowed in for a few days with a nice fireplace and lots of books
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I have loved reading each and every answer here. I dream of going to Hawaii with my husband and seeing the volcano on the big island. But let's face it....right now even an Oklahoma State Park would be wonderful! This is a lovely thread Sue.
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pamzimmrrt - I so get the desire to have a B&B in a odd - for lack of a better word - location.

I dream of having a little place on either Greek Island of Mykonos or Santorini - on a beach side hill. Those are the all white, seaside villages one sees in the Greek travel ads.

For four years I had a Greek boyfriend/fiancé and immersed myself in all things Greek. Even a long vacation there. I love the food - even learned to be quite the Greek cook! So yes - my own little place. The only problem is - I hate the heat! Anything over 80 degrees is uncomfortable- over 90 and I turn into a raging lunatic!

Still... one can dream.
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I'm not mired in the day to day of caregiving like some are here.

But a quiet little mountain house .. on the side of a winding long road through the woods. That sounds wonderful to me. If I could live in that kind of setting, it just seems like it would be a peaceful oasis from the stress of the world.
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My husband and I uprooted and moved in with my Dad about 6 months ago, so my dad could stay in the area he wanted. I am his 24-hour caregiver, he has dementia. I am fortunate that my sister is able to come about once a quarter and give me a break. Next month, I am going to Florida, ALONE! My husband doesn’t have vacation time yet at his new job but he urged me to get away. Can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to some time at my Happy Place.

I am (was) an OT and countless times I counseled caregivers to make sure to take care of themselves, as I would have the caregivers as patients in rehab, worn down and sick from the stress of caregiving. Now I’m taking my own advice.
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I would like to go to a mountain retreat. ALONE. Eat and sleep as needed, on nobody's clock. No phone, no TV, just good music, my Bible and some books.
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Trapped
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I get how being alone would be nice.....just relaxing, reading, eating or not, just having your own schedule for a few days, but, my daydreams are normally of a more active get-a-way. I'd like to be able to get up rather early, put on some comfy clothes, walk down to a coffee house and enjoy a nice brew, reading the news, listening to music, and chatting. And later, walking around to see local sites, taking some nice photos, and then sitting outside at a cafe for dinner with a nice glass of wine, watching the sun set. 
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I'm dreaming of Hawaii. We went on our honeymoon & a few times since. There's nothing like looking at the Ocean & realizing theirs nothing you could do from so far away. It's a freedom to know we wouldn't be the 1st called for anything. That's my happy place & my spouse decided we'll plan a trip for June on faith it can happen. We started a small slow savings towards that dream, just to solidify it in our minds. Love the everything on our schedule only. Thanks for the mini vacation just writing about it.
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Sunny, your description reminds me very vividly of one of those travel programs, of a little inn somewhere in Austria, or Bavaria, with masses of flowers spewing over container pots, outdoor tables, balmy weather (of course the weather is always nice in our dreams!), and lush but climbable mountains in the distance.

Momshelp, the Hawaii travel programs can often be a vacation in and of themselves, especially if they're accompanied by the soft, lovely and lilting Hawaiian songs. The islands are so lovely, so peaceful (except for the volcanic activity) that for me just watching the programs is like a real journey. Sometimes I even eat pineapple to pretend I'm in Hawaii!

(I've tried the gentle swaying dances but still have a long way to go to become proficient and graceful!)
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GardenArtist, your summation is perfect! OMG, I need to look into it! Austria......JUST did. OMG....nice little village situated on the Danube. Breathtaking! Okay. I've got my destination picked out now. Just have to save some pennies. lol  (The National Geographic website has some breathtaking photos of Austria.)
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Sunny, you can whet your appetite (or heighten your desire to go) by watching the travelogues on tv. With Christmas coming up, one of the regular ones is the Christmas Market, but I don't recall if it's in Germany or Bavaria.

You can literally feel as though you're there. My longing is always increased by watching these, so I have to pull out my bank statement to get me back to reality.

Uh, oh, my visions just flashed to a gently sloped mountainside with a herder taking his or her sheep up to feeding grounds. I can even hear the tinkling of cowbells from another herd somewhere!

I think you'd love such a trip - I would!

I love the NAT Geo programs and website. There's a contest on now for best photographs. The photos are incredible, just unbelievably stunning. (PM me if you want a link.)
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Yes, I sent you a PM for that link.

While I know that I can't go anyway too far right now, I know that one day, I'l be able. I'll have to work extra hard, but, it's doable. I hope my new husband will be on board.
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How fascinating reading all of your replies! I'd love to visit ALL the places mentioned. Each one sounds so relaxing or good for renewing the mind. Sometimes just thinking about your special place, or better yet, making plans to visit (even if it's in the unknown future) can help get us through the day. Wouldn't it be great if we could all go together? Group trip!

Momshelp,
In July I want to hear EVERY detail about Hawai'i. I've been once but that's just the frosting on the cake! Good for you guys. Think positive, it WILL work out.

Garden Artist,
I wouldn't normally encourage someone to max out their credit card, but I can "see" you hiking in the long grass and edelweiss of the Austrian hills with your walking stick! Go, take a slew of pictures and I'll bet you'd win the Nat Geo contest!

Dadsdew,
Yeah, you probably are trapped, as many of us are. But this thread is for dreaming---fantasy that can turn into reality!
Where would you go if money, time and caregiving wasn't a problem?
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SueC1957, you've really got me "pegged". I dream a lot about being out in the wilderness, in the mountains, and especially hiking in a field of flowers.

Changing direction a bit, as Fall creeps in and Winter isn't too far behind, does anyone dream about being out in the wild hiking in the snow, or even just being in a log cabin, warmed by a fireplace, relaxing with a warm quilt, and just watching the winter activity of birds and possibly a few 4 legged critters?

Or dreaming of baking something you've grown or stored from a garden and allowing the fragrance of that freshly baked dessert, or better yet home made bread, waft through the house and tempt you?
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GA, that last bit has me wanting to check your forehead to see if you are feverish....

well, I suppose it might be alright if someone else was bringing in the firewood and serving me a just-from-the-oven bread and dessert, but you had better have a nice furnace that kicks in after the fire dies down at night.
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