NeedHelpWithMom Posted April 2019
If there was a book, television show or movie about either your loved one or caregiving experience, what would the title be?
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How many have been told, “I told you so!”
That could be a common title because most of us has heard that one! I have to think about other options. Please share your titles, good, bad or funny!
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Absolutely! We all have different circumstances and there isn’t a one size fits all. I just feel there needs to be respect for whatever choice is made.
I am not a person that feels like everyone has to agree with me on everything and I am not going to agree with everything with others.
Some things it honestly doesn't matter like if I like chicken and others like steak but on important things it does matter. I want to be respected for my choices. I in turn respect others for theirs, even if I disagree with them.
I have friends that are very different than I am and I find them very interesting. We still get along. I don’t have any issues with large crowds but I have friends that simply can’t handle large crowds. I don’t ask them to do jazz fest with me but I will meet them for lunch at a restaurant. We know and respect each other’s personalities and get along fine. I ask others who are like me and feel the more the merrier to go to jazz fest with me. I’m going this Sunday to the 50th anniversary jazz fest and I can’t wait! I went to the very first one on a school field trip and became hooked. So much fun! Have been going ever since!
My brother rarely helps out but he agreed to stay with mom. He knows how much I enjoy it so he will do it. It’s only once a year so he shouldn’t complain! I am going to just chill out with great music, look at craft vendors, top notch artists, eat great food and just relax for the entire day!
I would have to agree with you about people always posting about putting mom in a NH. However, a NH is not always the answer. You are right it is a personal choice and sometimes there are not good NH in all cities. Everybody's situation is different.
That being said, I also believe there are caregivers who are being abuse that really do need to get away from their LO.
Unfortunately, we all have very difficult choices to make and we have to live with them. Good, bad, or indifferent! No one answer fits all.
Please don't apologize for contributing. I like hearing what's on people's minds. One topic leads to another. I don't mind at all. I love reading your comments. You are absolutely correct. It is a tough job. Polar, I wish I could say something to make it better for you. I can't. There is nothing that can make it easier for you and I am sorry about that.
Now let me share with you, if you don't mind. I don't like constantly being told that I should put my mom in a NH. I have explained over and over again how the homes here are horrible. They are the lowest rated ones.
Plus it is a personal choice! I don't think any less of those who must place a loved one in a home and I wouldn't dream of telling them they should keep their loved ones home. It isn't possible for everyone for a variety of reasons.
I wish we had wonderful homes, but we don't. I also hate hearing passive aggressive comments, like I need my mom as much as she needs me.
I love my mom no matter how hard it is. I won't apologize for that. I do understand if others have been in such a tough situation that love is not there.
My MIL went through that with her mom. She said to me that she wanted to have a mom that she could love but her mom was so abusive that she could not love the person that she was. I get that.
If I had a choice of a good home, I would do it. I have no idea why some people on this site can't accept or respect that. They think they are trying to help but it's insulting. It's annoying, insulting, rude and people have insinuated that I am a liar! They don't live here. They haven't been in our hell hole homes. Assisted living is nice but it is costly. I'm not sure I want to deal with if the money runs out, how to handle it with mom. It's stressful. People need to show compassion for those who are stuck in this situation instead of preaching about things they know nothing about. Hey, they could come live in one of our funky homes, They would change their minds very quickly. Thanks for letting me vent.
I've seen a few people address it recently on television. Maria Shriver has spoken about it. Also, Rob Lowe.
Great idea!
I have only seen one movie about a mom having Alzheimer's. I wish I could remember the name. It is a newer movie. However, it made out like caregiving was not that hard, in fact, the movie made it look pretty easy. Sigh!
A few weeks ago a young woman came to my door about my gas bill. This woman asked me if I worked? I told her no that I take care of my mother, and she said, "oh, how sweet that is & how lucky I was to have this time with mom." I looked right at her and said, " there is nothing sweet about this, and I am not lucky." I continue to tell her, " you have no idea how stressful and hard it really is & I wish that someone would have told me just what I was in for." I also told her that "you have no idea what your LO will do next and they can be very mean and hurtful. The stress can be overwhelming. Don't ever sign up to take care of someone you will lose your freedom...your life as you know it."
I might of scared that poor young lady, but I dare not to make it out to be something sweet and wonderful as she thought!
You are right, people have no idea what it is really like. There does need to be more awareness and resources for caregivers.
I would love to start a foundation where it could offer support groups and respite service at a low cost just to be able to give people with low income or no money a break. But I have no idea on how to do it or where to even start. Sigh!
Sorry NHWM for taking over your thread:(
I don't think there is much public awareness if any. Not like heart disease or smoking. Nobody seems to know how hard caregiving is until they are tossed into it. Then it's eye opening.
If there's more awareness, then eventually there will be more support for both the caregivers and the care recipients.
Yep! You covered everything! I think many can relate.
Great movie! Oldie but goodie.
The "Best Day" of my Mom's life in the nursing home occurred on Sunday, August 20, 2017, the day BEFORE the Eclipse. The "Worse Days" of my Mom's life (and of my life) occurred on Sunday, August 27th and Monday, August 28th, one week after the Solar Eclipse of the Sun on August 21, 2017.
😃🌕🌔🌓🌑😢
Better to find the WHOLE worm in the apple, than half of the worm!
The outrageous number of pull-ups used in a 24-hour period!
Can anyone identify the pile of dirty clothes versus the clean pile of clothes?
Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
"Hell on Earth"
"Living Too Long"
"Is This Living?"
"Living in a Psych Ward"
"Where Is the End?"
"Stress beyond Stress"
"Where Has the Mind Gone?"
"Medical Miracle Gone Wild"
I suppose you can tell how thrilled I am to be a caregiver by the above titles.
My mom comes and shouts "goodnight yvonne" up to 7 times every night. This after giving her a hug and kiss goodnight and showing her to her bedroom.
By the way....my name is Debbie! 😊
My second title ....
"You have to laugh!"
Cute! I like it!
*You fill in your own street name.
Awww, That was my dad’s birthday. Groundhog’s day is special to me. 😊
So cute! I love it.
Funny!