Follow
Share

My mother is 54 years old she moved to United States from a very hot country in 2017 April , she was a diabetic type 2 for about 10 years in 2018. Jan she got minor stroke in the first snow of her she couldn’t bear that cold and from this she developed skin conditions psoriasis worse like all in her body and from there every thing started. We took her to the hospital she also started bleeding from uterus which dr said she has fibroid that need to be removed. She went through DNC got weak somehow in one 3 weeks of hospital stay she got discharged and she is home but things weren’t too good. She was all swelled her hand and feet were she could use bathroom her self my father and I use to clean her and help using toilet, some how after 6 month of care my father specially gave her she started back walking with the walker and using toilet herself, but she was getting day by day weaker and Lost weight a lot. She was 260lbs and in 2019 she is 180 lbs which is ideal weight but not the healthiest weight, but she stop her bleeding that she used to have. Before DNC thing we thought that worked pretty well and in this duration my elder sister got married in 2019 April she was Getting depressed slowly as her daughter going to leave her we couldn’t figure out why is that , I used to take her to the appointments some time she goes sometimes she doesn’t want to , her primary doctor said she is anemic and she needs to take iron medicine that she take that is the reason she lost weight. In June 2019 I took her to the emergency Because one day she could got up from her back complaining of no energy , and they admitted she was anemic badly they gave her blood, she started swallowing they gave her fluids release medicine and steroids and so much iv with that they doing the need of DNC because fibroid was rebuilt they did so my mom this time a lot weaker hand feet swelling could walk or stand with out wheelchair and hoyer lift this time we because of job and father job we send her to rehabilitation, to get physical therapy and get better but that hope was only hope from there she was back and fourth hospital to rehab, rehab to hospital, because of temperature low some time blood pressure low / high she couldn’t get better and developed a huge bedsore on lower back now and got infections urinate infection because that huge wound she got two wound deprivemeant surgery sho got too much weak no strength her breathing is slow they were using bipap machine at night now they are suggesting colostomy so this way would heal my mom is no more a candidate for surgery and last time she was sent to hospital from nursing home Because of low temperature doctor decided hospice for her and said they can’t do much about her anymore. Hospice said she has few week left in hospice. She stop eating gradually before she was severe nausea now they said she has maybe two days or one. She stop urinating eating talking responding my beautiful mom is dying. I don’t know if we made wrong decision sending her to the rehab first time I am so guilty depressed, please excuse my English mistakes because I just learned it in 2 years.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
I'm sorry about your mother. It must be very sad to go through this. From your post, it seems your mom has quite a few medical problems that became too much for her. It sounds like you were supportive and in no way responsible for her poor health. Plus, doctors recommend rehab, so the patient can regain their strength and mobility. Most people that I know have it after a surgical procedure. Of course, we can't predict how our loves ones will do after surgery. I hope that you can find some peace.
(4)
Report

Thank you for your kind words 🙏🏼
(0)
Report

It’s so hard to know exactly what to do. I am so sorry that you are hurting. Sending you a giant hug!
(3)
Report

Iqrafa, I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. Especially with such a young Mom, it’s hard to deal with. It sounds like your Mom has been sick for a long time with diabetes, a stroke, anemia, fibroids in such a short time. You did nothing wrong in placing her in rehab after hospitalizations. Please don’t feel guilty or second guess that. Rehab was the best place for her to try to rebound from the hospital and get strength back. That’s a pretty standard process, as it helps the patient, and also gives some time for the caregivers and family to assess their progress. I’m so sorry that your Mom wasn’t healthy enough to rebound. She sounds very tired from all that her body has gone through. Just make sure she’s comfortable, hug her and hold her hand and talk to like you always did to let her know you’re there. You and she have done all you could. I’m so sorry.
(3)
Report

(((((Hugs)))))))).
(1)
Report

It's easy to look back after a bad outcome and second guess your decisions. The medical professionals advised rehab and your family agreed to follow their advice. Most of us would have done the same. When we hear most people get well with this type of care, we always assume our loved one will be in the group that gets better. But there's always a chance our loved one will be in the group that doesn't get better; we just don't want to face that until it happens. I am so sorry your mother was in the group that didn't get better. It's not your fault. You and your father gave her long months of loving care. Your mother was blessed to have you taking care of her. Her death is not your fault. When someone has multiple medical conditions seriously impacting their health, sometimes the body just isn't strong enough to heal.

I pray your family receives God's comfort during this very difficult time.
(2)
Report

She passed away last night god helped her healed her made it easy for her I by my hand wash her she has been through a lot please pray GOD send her to heaven and may she find peace afterwards
(8)
Report

Iqrafa, I hope you can find peace in the fact that now your mom is at peace.

My deepest condolences to you. Try to rest now!
(3)
Report

Lqrafa, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. My sincere condolences for your loss. She is in peace in
Heaven. Your family did what the doctors said was best. Sometimes it’s just not possible to recover from so much sickness. You should feel no guilt as guilt is for those that have done something wrong. Sending you hugs.
(2)
Report

Oh, Iqrafa, I am so sorry for your great loss. May sweet memories of your mother bring you peace.

And I hope what brings you peace in that you followed doctors' recommendations. You sought what was best for your mother. *Make a pinching motion at your forehead with your fingers, draw your fingers away with the guilt from your mind and heart, and toss it away*

Be easy on you. Be good to you. *hug*
(4)
Report

So very very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace. This is especially hard in this season, and your Mom was so young, but had so many health conditions. Not everything can be fixed, no matter what is done. I don't know anything that can heal but time. May your memories go from painful ones to joy of good times remembers as quickly as they can. So very sorry.
(2)
Report

My deepest sympathies. Praying for peace you and your family. Your mum is now at rest.
(1)
Report

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know she is at peace and not in pain anymore.
(3)
Report

I’m very sorry for the loss of your beloved mother. I hope for you to find peace in the coming days
(2)
Report

So sorry for your loss. If she and you have faith then you know she is in heaven and is whole. No more pain. Also know that you did all you could for her. Prayers gone up for u and Mom.
(0)
Report

I’m so sorry. It sounds like you made the best decisions you could, at the time. Please be gentle with yourself in this stressful time of your life.

Praying for God’s peace that surpasses all understanding.
(1)
Report

I'm so sorry. Reading your posting, I feel sure your mother knew that everything was done because of how deeply you loved her, and that must have given her comfort through the end.
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter