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continued from last post...So, she tossed out some BEAUTIFUL patio furniture that a lady bought for her as an act of friendship, and it goes on...she gossips about everyone and everything and she is so wrapped up in this HOA that she is truly blinded by what is right and wrong. She treated her dad like crap, & now he is gone, & I would have been SO grateful for just one more day with MY dad, but all she ever did was complain about taking care of him and her mom...she would always call me and complain about how she didn't like having to do things for them, etc. It was awful the things she said...so, now she is back in power, and is putting up "Do not.." signs ALL over the community, and we tracked dirt onto the sidewalk so we got fined (yesterday) for $40.00.She then had a gag order slapped on us for us writing TO the board and requesting that she be disciplined due to her behavior and the break in. She denied the allegation of the break in. (of course she denied it because she always lies). then, one day I was out on my patio, and this was after the "president" of the HOA said that rule #5 said NO harassment was allowed to or by anyone at anytime, and to just "ignore her" (his words). I then told him about how she snotilly said to me "What are u lookin at?!" when I was on our patio putting some storage away. Then, we had to have our DISH replaced cause it was not getting good reception, well, she then went outside and started being verbally harassing to him. She said "I WANT that on a pole, and NOT on the side of the bldg.!" He said he would....at HER cost!" She then started swearing at him, along with her henchman (who was the past president but thinks she still is). That past president I over heard about 6 years ago stating how "proud" she was that there was a stray cat hiding and scared under the bush next to her front door, and she threw water on "it" and it wouldn't leave, and was letting her dog terrorize "it" and she was laughing about it, and the cat wouldn't leave, well, unknown to that evil B****, my mom brought that cat in, listed "it" with the pound as a lost kitty, and one couple came to see her, it wasn't their cat, and no one claimed her, so we adopted her because the pound could not guarantee that she wouldn't be adopted. :'( To this day we dont know where that cat came from. Was she lost or dumped? we will never know. She did not have a microchip. That cat has been the light of my life for 6 years now, and when mom took her to get her spayed, she had already been spayed. I cannot imagine life without that cat. So, THIS is the woman that the evil secty runs around with now, but the secty also talked crap about HER when that ladys husband died, so no one is immune to the toxicity here. So, I then wrote the board again and reported the latest incident. I told them that IF she says one more thing to me, then I will file a class action lawsuit against her for violating our civil rights, and I WILL call the police and file a restraining order. Well, we got a gag order slapped on us. We are powerless here, and yesterday we get a bill for 40 bucks for getting dirt on the sidewalk. So, I found a new house for mom, where she CAN have her 4 cats, BUT she almost didn't get it cause of all of her credit cards! I had to play the adult to swing her finances so she COULD get it, but it was not easy, since she is narcisitic, she does not like to spend $ on anything. She had to pay off one of her c/c's from $ she was saving for a trip for next year so she could get her debt to income ratio down. Then this a.m., there was another snag, but I got it straightened out. I had to get a POA, cause her trip overseas is for a month. I asked her TEN times right in front of the realtor "Are you SURE you want to sell?" (I told her that the next thing they will go after is her cats) I overheard her when she was walking by her window talking to that past president.I then let HER sign the papers to list this condo. It sold in 13 days. We found her a new home. The closing on both is 15 June. She gets back on 15 June, but I DID take away ALL of her c/c's before she left. I am stressed cause I am now having to play the adult in all of this mess. BTW, that sect'y also had cameras installed in the foyers about 4 years ago, so she now sees us both giving the camera the "bird". I have never seen anyone with such a need to control everyone. She once told me that she hoped I would always stay here after mom passed (HUH????) cause she doesn't want renters or anyone else in our unit cause she wouldn't know who would be moving in"...I was thinking "where the heck did THAT comment come from?" She hates renters,& the one nice thing is that the man who bought our place is going to use it AS a rental property! Hahah! You know what they say about Karma...well, the Karma car is warming up, and the dog known as 'Come up ins' is sitting in the backseat. Hope the new renters give her as much grief as possible and maybe a little more.

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Yep, definitely a clique here. Mom never "fit in". They can have their perfect little world. I am done watching mom be put thru hell. It is affecting her health bad.
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if i were your husband i dont think id ever inquire " how was your day today " .
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This seems to me more like a neighbor to neighbor issue rather than an aging care issue.
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I am wondering if HOA's have caused grief and drama to any other seniors out there? Just curious. It seems like we are the only ones??
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I told mom the same thing...NO gossipfest with anyone at the new place!
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Just feel like I am having to play the adult here cause of her spending habits. With her narcisicm, money is power, and she was not happy about handing over her c/c's but it HAD to be done, cause I know how she spends money. Hated to do it, but had to.
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you are so right. TRYING so hard to let all of this go. Our (my) last night here is June 13th. Will be staying in a hotel. Need a break from all of this before we begin our new life. Closing on both homes is 15 June. I have adjusted my work sch, and mom gets back from her overseas trip on June 15th! At 4 pm!!! Busy day! I told her I will have someone pick her up from the airport either way. I made her turn over ALL of her credit cards, because THAT could cost her getting this house, and at one point it almost did. She had to pay off one, then the paperwork finally got squared away. It has been a stressfull 2 weeks.
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I read part 1 https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/had-to-sell-moms-house-due-to-home-owners-association-201978.htm and part II above. I am confused about who was "her" and "she"? Was this your Mom or the nosy neighbor?

Anyway, sounds like you all will be moving. Try not get into a gossipfest with the new neighbors and HOA board [if there is one at the new location]. And if there are security cameras at the new location don't give the cameras the bird, that never helps matters in any type of situation.
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the new house felt a lot more peaceful.
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I know it was waaay long, but I just needed to let everyone know the whole story. It pains me to see any senior be put thru the hell she has been going thru.
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OK, you are out of there. You need to let it go, put it behind you. Your posts are long enough to qualify as obsessive. Let go Let God.
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