Hiding things...

cannot say enough for the benefit, sometimes, of having a locked room where one can stash those things valuable, sentimental, important and dangerous. Too late for us to protect the wedding rings (both hers and dads) and I can barely bring myself to search the last remaining possibilities of her shoe boxes in the closet.

Also remember to never overlook the obvious: last night dad went to take a shower and left his wire rimmed glasses on the dresser. Came out and they were gone. After an intense search finding 2 pair belonging to mom, I discovered they were ON MOM, who was lying in bed ever so sweetly asking me what I was looking for! SHe btw has more purses than the Queen...which was wear I found my PO Box key after a search and paying for a duplicate that was not refundable.

So...I am a little at fault...since I am constantly picking up after her (this has always been a problem...even before the dementia)...
But...so many times during the day...before I could have done anything...she says...”it’s gone”...and she gets really upset...as soon as I say...”What is gone?”...she interrupts...”no...don’t you remember...I showed it to you....it’s gone”
That is a fine example of the discussion.....sometimes...I just say...”That’s a shame....I am sorry its gone”....without any idea what she is talking about...then there are times...she just gets frantic....and clenches her fists...
it gets out of hand sometimes....and I get upset....or if I am quick enough...I leave the room...to take a breather...
A few days ago...she was on my case all day...claiming that I damaged her stuff...the next morning she apologized....
I cannot tell what she will remember....her behavior is confusing to me sometimes.....
The other day....she said she did not feel good......I asked her what didn’t feel good?....she said....”I’m not smart...everything is so difficult”.....
I hardly slept that night...

DH is a ferret! He doesn't necessarily hide things. He picks up anything & everything & moves it to a new place or puts it in his pocket. When something goes missing, our first action is frisk him for the goods. Funny & sad at the same time. He brings home from daycare assorted items that catch his eye: 5 blue crayons, broken pens & used notepaper, unopened packets of plastic utensils, food, screws & bolts.

The other day I couldn't find the extra bird feeder I had in the utility room. I found it on the fireplace & fireplace decor missing. Found decor on the sofa table alongside pet toys. I put toys back in den & found an unopened yogurt container on TV stand. I put yogurt back in fridge & found pet's water bowls stacked on counter where pets can't reach them, I put the bowls back on the floor & found DH taking tissues out of the box, folding them into squares & stacking them on the bedside table. Go figure.

My 87 year old mother has dementia. My siblings and I have addressed many of her problems, but hiding things is one of the worst. She hides her purse on almost a daily basis. We’ve found it in the back of her closet under boxes and suitcases, as well as inside suitcases she never uses. Also, under her bed. Under the towels in the bathroom closet or in the dirty clothes hamper. Inside my sister’s drawers (my sister lives with her). And even in the basement inside the washing machine! If she isn’t hiding her purse, she loses it. When a friend or relative takes her out to eat, she’ll leave her purse at the restaurant.

She accuses my sister or brother of stealing it, then calls me (on the other side of the country) and bad-mouths them. If I don’t sympathize with her, or suggest that she may have “misplaced” the purse herself, she hangs up on me after saying something like, “You moved away from me, so why should YOU care!”

She hid her debit card underneath the family Bible in the living room, and her checkbook inside a photo album. She even hid her house keys inside a big ceramic planter along with her beloved ficus tree.

Mom switched her panties to my sister’s drawer and my sister’s panties to hers. And she began removing everything from my sister’s closet and rearranging it so my sister couldn’t find a thing. Finally, my brother had to put a lock on my sister’s bedroom door to keep mom out, and mom was furious. (She had no recollection of moving or rearranging anything in my sister’s room.)

By the way, hiding or “misplacing” things is one of the common problems of those who suffer from dementia. It’s normal for a caregiver to get frustrated, not to mention feel hurt or angry when a loved one accuses them of “stealing” something, so know you are not alone. And hang in there.

Well...it is the Dementia...at fault here...it is almost a daily routine...especially for the items referred to in this post...it is interesting...however.. that she owned up to misplaying the items and asked me to put them somewhere so they could be found again...
Go figure...previously she would have been extremely upset trying to find them...
She would get sooooo upset..that I would have to stop everything and find them....
The calmness was spooky..
All this followed a tough week where she was upset most of the time...
And...yes..usually “someone” moved it...

I understand this. I am guilty of it,

my whole life I have misplaced things. I always think to myself that I will put it in a place I know it will be safe. I am always certain I will remember where I put it. I never do.

try as I may, this has always been the case with me.

There is is no actual attempt to hide anything. No malice intended.

I just squirrel away thing and then cannot remember where. I bet this is pretty common....maybe is the truth of what is happening with her too?

It is extremely frustrating when a loved one hides things, either intentionally or as part of their disease (dementia).  My grandmother used to think that "people" were coming into her house and taking all sorts of items so she would hide her dentures, bottles of medications, glasses, hearing aids, etc. so that these "people" would not take them.  One of the funny items that were hidden was the LEFT shoe of EVERY PAIR of shoes that she had.  As a result, she only had RIGHT Shoes and NO LEFT Shoes.  Dad eventually found a couple of Left shoes in the basement and in the upstairs bedrooms in boxes. 👠  👟  👞