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My father in law lives in Florida, we live in the UK. We spent Christmas with him last year He was constantly receiving phone calls from two girls from a family down the street. The family is known to us, but the thing is the mother. She gets the girls to call and ask for money or gifts. His dad is catholic and loves children, and when we asked him about this he said the kids have nothing and I want to help. While we were there we found utility bills, cell phone bills and others of which are the other families. We also found a Christmas list of top of the range cameras, clothes and a in ground trampoline which they asked my father in law to buy them. He already pays for private school and tennis coaching for the older girl. This family are bleeding him dry and he sees nothing wrong with what there doing. The mother of the girls is divorced with 2 older children. She lives in a huge home and recently had a pool built and new car, she doesn't work so my guess is he's paid for this too. She knows we are moving back to help my father in law and asked her girls for the local catholic priest to make her girls his holy grand children. He's a wealthy man, we wouldn't be so concerned if she helped him around the home but all she does is take from him. There has to be something we can do??? Is this illegal what she's doing??
It's driving us crazy, we really don't know what she will do next.
Thank you

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I found myself in a very similar situation but it was the great-grandson of an elderly woman I take care of. I became her POA of financial and medical. I then moved her into an Senior Living complex, which prevented the great-grandson from living with her. I then became her Payee for her Social Security check, she has no access to her bank accounts or money. I then placed a call to the Department of Aging. The social worker told me I did all the right things to prevent financial abuse. I also took the woman for a neuropsych eval, which diagnosed her with mild to moderate dementia. Her great-grandson is now living out of state, but if he is ever to return, I will get a restraining order to have him kept away from her. You need to get into his house, gather as many records as you can, that show the amounts of money he has spent on the family. I would definitely try to become his guardian, which can be a lengthy and expensive process. I would also speak with his physician and let them know what is going on. The doctor, if he suspects, elder abuse, is then mandated to report this. It's obvious by you speaking with the neighbor, does not care about your father in law, only his money. First and foremost, speak with his doctor and then call the Department of Aging.
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hi every1, thought i would give you an update.
well after 3 calls to the elder care and nothing things took a turn for the worst last week. We went looking for cars found the perfect one, as we were walking back we heard his dad talking to the guy telling him he would come and show THEM the car!! The next day we went out alone as his dad was taking her kids out to buy tennis equipment as he sponsors them both. As we were driving i said to Ryan lets just call at the car dealership as we turned we saw his dad with THAT FAMILY test driving the car we wanted. i lost it and drove to were they were. This women and her kids are so evil its untrue, as we were confronting his dad over what he had done they were laughing and smiling at us from inside the showroom.we were so angry and upset that he could do this that we drove off and got as much paperwork together and went to the local sheriffs office.
As we thought there was nothing they could do. We also know that she wants to get the car as theres a print out of the value of her current car(which he bought). we went for lunch today to a local restaurant with his dad. He introduced us all to the owner then started telling him about the other kids saying how shes a great tennis player and the guy said are they your grand kids? he said YES. We have both tried very hard to not let this cause an argument but i couldnt hear him tell people they were his family when they are not!!! i told the guy in the restaurant they were not his grand kids and he argued with me saying yes they were. We have both heard and seen enough, nothing has changed even with us been here.
We are sick to the stomach of hearing about these kids, they have totally brainwashed him.
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Hi again,
Well me and the kids flew over and have been here since Saturday.
The situation is much worse than before. The lady is obviously scared of our imminent move here as she has constantly called and sent her children round since we got here. The day after we got here he left us and took this family out, he's lying to us constantly about were he's been and who with. We are almost ready to go home as we can't take much more of this.
There are letters, fathers day cards, birthday cards all with grandad written on and yesterday the girls drove round on very expensive scooters/ buggies and parked and sat outside his house.
She doesn't like him spending any time with us and calls to make excuses for him to leave the house.we are hoping to see a DA in the next few days as this can't and will not go on any longer. Sad times but this b**** will get what's coming and very soon

Janet
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Completly agree, i didnt call the APS until i had made sure that there was something worth investigating. i shall call again tomorrow. im traveling to the states on saturday and would be peace of mind if this gets sorted before we have to fly back home.
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Helpunlimited - you're the best!
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APS is usually a division of Social Services, so you're talking to the right office.

Quite honestly, the person you talked to doesn't sound like she knows what she's talking about. The information on their website -- which cites the applicable statute -- directly contradicts what she said. I would call back and you'll most likely talk to a different person. I bet you'll get a different answer. If not, ask to speak to a supervisor. We've been working with senior citizens for 25 years, and I've never heard someone from APS say something like that.

Here is the applicable statute -- your father quite obviously qualifies as a vulnerable adult who falls under the jurisdiction of APS: "A person 18 years of age or older whose ability to perform the normal activities of daily living or to provide for his or her own care or protection is impaired due to a mental, emotional, long-term physical or developmental disability or dysfunction, or brain damage, or the infirmities of aging (s. 415.102(26), F.S.)."

Furthermore, the statutes governing APS also state: "(1) The department shall, upon receipt of a report alleging abuse, neglect, or exploitation of a vulnerable adult, begin within 24 hours a protective investigation of the facts alleged therein." (s. 415.104(1), F.S.)

The law, to me, is crystal clear that APS must conduct an investigation when they receive a report. Here are some links with all of the applicable information.

How to Report: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/Reporting.shtml
Statutes: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/policies.shtml

Again, if you contact APS and get the same response from a supervisor, I would contact your father's local representatives. They will have much more influence and can also reach people higher on the food chain.
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I contacted the Orange county adult protection services, they said basically its his life, his money and unless we can prove hes not sound of mind theres nothing we can do.I dont understand this stupid law either. Are the social services a different form of contact? she told me to call the local police but they couldnt do anything without a report from APS.
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OK, I just saw the post where you said that APS cannot help because she is not a family member or a caregiver. Frankly, I would try again as I don't see how the legislature would have written the law that way. That's simply crazy. And if you get that same response, then I would contact the elected officials in your father's district and make a big stink about it.
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Janet, I know I have asked this before but can't find the answer: have you contacted the Department of Social Services or Adult Protective Services? They are who you need to bring in. If you give me the zipcode he lives in, I will be happy to track down the number for you.
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Thankyou Dinak,
i will keep you all updated as to the outcome, btw she didnt get charged over the credit card fraud.........!
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I am so sorry that I have no experience or expertise in that field, but with so many elderly living in Florida, I bet that there is a lot of information to be found both online and by contacting several of the agencies that others on this thread have recommended. I pray for a positive outcome for your dad. Best wishes, Janet.
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Hi Dinak,
Yes he did take lots of photos, as we both think this is the only route we can go down to finally do something.have you any idea how we start something like this?
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Hi Janet, so sorry to hear the not-so-good news. By any chance, did your husband take a lot of photos of your dad's home in its state of disarray before he started to clean it? Pictures like that could help prove that your dad is not of sound mind and maybe help in the event you need to legally take over his finances. Unfortunately, I don't think the authorities can do anything to force your father to stop paying those kids and their mom unless you can prove theft or threats by that parasitic family. As long as your father willingly gives them money, I don't see any other way other than proving he is mentally incompetent to make financial decisions anymore, and part of that could be in your showing the state of ill-repair and unhealthy conditions in which your father resides. Good luck to you all.
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hi everyone, just thought i would update. So my husband flew over last week to help out his dad. yes you guessed all hes done is talk about this other family.
my husband has gone over as he was complaining of not been well and to help him in the house.
The house was disgusting. how he hasnt caught some horrific disease is beyond me.
7 days after arriving there hes still cleaning.All hes talked about is these GREAT KIDS!!!! Ryan is fed up of hearing about this great family, who may i add has let him live in this filth!!! hes seen more bills and cheque stubs made out to the all and now his dad said hes gunna be broke in 5 years. My husband has had enough, nothing he does or says will change his mind about this evil family. im due to fly out saturday with the children and am dreading it. Im considering giving him an ultimatium as i know he will probably still go places with theses girls whilst were over visiting.
im just concerned he will choose them.
im going to try and see an attorney while were there.

hope everyones ok xx
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Janet, your family should absolutely place security freezes on their credit files (if they have not already). Even though you ultimately would not be liable for any fradulent charges, cleaning that mess up is time consuming and frustrating.
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I have no idea, he's in Williamsburg at the moment, but he must have given her the card as it was originally his daughters. Or she stole it, either way it's fraud.
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Does your father-in-law know about this, and if so, is he making excuses for the con-woman, or has he finally seen the light and stopped all contact with her?
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Looks very much like it, she's spent near on $5000 on this card. We've also checked my husbands credit report but luckily nothing on it. Although there was a credit check last year when he wasn't there. Do u think it could be her?
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So now the money she's taking from your dad has spilled over onto more family members. I would think NOW you and your family would have some legal recourse. Get that woman arrested!
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Hi everyone, back again. So we received a call from my sister in law last week. She's been getting letters for a credit card she doesn't have. After calling them and looking further into it she found out that someones using her name for credit! Even better it's the lady who's conning money out of my father in law! Were waiting to see what can be done when she's made a full statement to the police. Hope this is her finally getting what she deserves. Will let u know of the outcome (=
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You might want to check with the Fla. District Attorney's Office in the county he lives in. Most DA offices have a department dedicated to Elder Fraud.
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I hope your right but in the meantime we have to stay here an do nothing? With the econemy being so bad we may not even sell our house, and the last time my MIL spoke to him he told her he had no money left and couldn't send her allomony payment! This is slightly alarming to us as we know how wealthy he was/ is, so does this mean she's already done the damage?
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I still believe that once you and your family move near him and lovingly interact with him, he will start to see the difference between how truly good, honest people behave and how that criminal family have been treating him. The difference will be apparent, and unless he is truly suffering from dementia, he will cut things off with them of his own volition. When he does that, and they start to make threats, then you will be able to file a restraining order against them one by one if need be. It's a start. So sorry, again. This is an awful situation.
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Hello everyone, sorry not been on for a while.
Ive recently spoken to adult protection services in fl, they were unable to help us as this lady is not either a family member or a care giver.
I have no idea as what to do next as we cannot afford a attorney to look into this matter for us.
My FIL is not answering any of our calls now, so we have a house for sale and are still waiting for paperwork to get us our US passports.
Has anyone got any ideas as were we go next?
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Those all good reasons why you SHOULD come on strong and be proactive with the help of the offices of Adult Protective Services, the District Attorney's elder fraud division, his attorney, doctor, etc. Don't be concerned about not being American, you may be surprised how much help you will get from Social Services and such when they realize how concerned you are for HIS well-being, safety, and protection. They much prefer family members taking on these responsibilities than having to do it themselves.
Let as many people around your FIL know about your concerns as possible, His church leaders, his local Senior Center, his local Area Agency on Aging, etc.
Of course, I know you understand that unless he is mentally incapacitated, it is ultimately his decision to do what he will, but I know far younger and less vulnerable people who have been badly scammed by false friends and your concerns are by all means appropriate.
Best of luck, let me know if I can help in any way from this side of the globe until you get here yourselves. I'm pretty much tied to the house with my mom's care but if you need anything that I CAN do, I'd be glad to help.
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No what I ment by help Ted was the fact they don't do anything in return to help him for all he does for them. I have found the adult protection service near my father in laws so were getting all the information together as we don't want her getting away with this. I know this will probably sound stupid, but will we be taken seriously as were not American? Our problem being if nothing is done about this women she could make our lives a misery as were moving there, she would also turn his dad against us, I really do not know at the lengths this women and her family will go to.

Many thanks
Janet
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i would say that the last thing you want is for those people to be invited to help him with anything. I suggested before that contacting the Adult Protective Services in his area, and explaining to them your concerns might be a good idea, also, if you are aware of who his attorney is, you may want to give them the heads up about what you think is going on.
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Lilliput, everything you say is very true.
As far as we are aware no one has power of attorney over his finances. In the past when we have visited, bank statements have been quite visible to us. He pays for his daughters cell phone and also the whole other families. We have copies of the bills as he complains to my sister in law when it's clearly the other family taking the ****. we really cannot wait to get this sorted. We've recently spoken to him as he has a problem with his dogs, and who does he ask for help from? yes us, 4000 miles away And he can't ask this great women and her fantastic children for help! You would think that's the least they could do but once again unless he's giving they don't want to know.
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Janeth, you need a trusted third party who will intervene for you. Your FIL is emotionally invested in these people and anything you tell him will go unheaded. (As a former attorney, you would think that he'd know about these scams.)
If he is lonely, redirect his attetion to something more positive. As a good Catholic man, get him involved in legitmate charities....there are so many people who truly need his help. He could mentor a child through the Big Brothers assoc. etc...
I agree with everyone above...act swiftly and aggressively. Keep your presence known to this cunning family. Do everything the law will allow. File for restraining orders until this thing is sorted out. Do any of his family members have his Power of Attorney? This would give them the ability to sort through his bank records and docs for improprieties.
Be relentless and maybe the leach will finally get the hint.
I wish a hot rock in hell for anyone who victimizes an elderly person. Be vigilant about anyone who comes into your parent's lives and seems to be getting a little too close. Monitor financial info., take valuables and personal info. from their homes, and report anything you find suspicious.
Really.....should you have to worry about these things in your seniorhood???
good luck
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Thanks for all your advice, he doesn't really have any close family, his cousin lives near him, but they haven't spoken to us in a while, I think he thinks it's us who is taking advantage of my father in law. He says and does some strange things for example, for his birthday we ordered him an angel with a prayer. We rang him and told him to expect a delivery, we asked him to let us know when he recieved it, he didn't! Still denies recieving it although we know it got delivered. You see he moans about us to the family he spends his money on, I have no idea why, as we always call him, and fly over when we can. Hopefully this will all be resolved soon.
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