Hi everyone, this is quite a complex situation.

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My father in law lives in Florida, we live in the UK. We spent Christmas with him last year He was constantly receiving phone calls from two girls from a family down the street. The family is known to us, but the thing is the mother. She gets the girls to call and ask for money or gifts. His dad is catholic and loves children, and when we asked him about this he said the kids have nothing and I want to help. While we were there we found utility bills, cell phone bills and others of which are the other families. We also found a Christmas list of top of the range cameras, clothes and a in ground trampoline which they asked my father in law to buy them. He already pays for private school and tennis coaching for the older girl. This family are bleeding him dry and he sees nothing wrong with what there doing. The mother of the girls is divorced with 2 older children. She lives in a huge home and recently had a pool built and new car, she doesn't work so my guess is he's paid for this too. She knows we are moving back to help my father in law and asked her girls for the local catholic priest to make her girls his holy grand children. He's a wealthy man, we wouldn't be so concerned if she helped him around the home but all she does is take from him. There has to be something we can do??? Is this illegal what she's doing??
It's driving us crazy, we really don't know what she will do next.
Thank you

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I found myself in a very similar situation but it was the great-grandson of an elderly woman I take care of. I became her POA of financial and medical. I then moved her into an Senior Living complex, which prevented the great-grandson from living with her. I then became her Payee for her Social Security check, she has no access to her bank accounts or money. I then placed a call to the Department of Aging. The social worker told me I did all the right things to prevent financial abuse. I also took the woman for a neuropsych eval, which diagnosed her with mild to moderate dementia. Her great-grandson is now living out of state, but if he is ever to return, I will get a restraining order to have him kept away from her. You need to get into his house, gather as many records as you can, that show the amounts of money he has spent on the family. I would definitely try to become his guardian, which can be a lengthy and expensive process. I would also speak with his physician and let them know what is going on. The doctor, if he suspects, elder abuse, is then mandated to report this. It's obvious by you speaking with the neighbor, does not care about your father in law, only his money. First and foremost, speak with his doctor and then call the Department of Aging.
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hi every1, thought i would give you an update.
well after 3 calls to the elder care and nothing things took a turn for the worst last week. We went looking for cars found the perfect one, as we were walking back we heard his dad talking to the guy telling him he would come and show THEM the car!! The next day we went out alone as his dad was taking her kids out to buy tennis equipment as he sponsors them both. As we were driving i said to Ryan lets just call at the car dealership as we turned we saw his dad with THAT FAMILY test driving the car we wanted. i lost it and drove to were they were. This women and her kids are so evil its untrue, as we were confronting his dad over what he had done they were laughing and smiling at us from inside the showroom.we were so angry and upset that he could do this that we drove off and got as much paperwork together and went to the local sheriffs office.
As we thought there was nothing they could do. We also know that she wants to get the car as theres a print out of the value of her current car(which he bought). we went for lunch today to a local restaurant with his dad. He introduced us all to the owner then started telling him about the other kids saying how shes a great tennis player and the guy said are they your grand kids? he said YES. We have both tried very hard to not let this cause an argument but i couldnt hear him tell people they were his family when they are not!!! i told the guy in the restaurant they were not his grand kids and he argued with me saying yes they were. We have both heard and seen enough, nothing has changed even with us been here.
We are sick to the stomach of hearing about these kids, they have totally brainwashed him.
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Hi again,
Well me and the kids flew over and have been here since Saturday.
The situation is much worse than before. The lady is obviously scared of our imminent move here as she has constantly called and sent her children round since we got here. The day after we got here he left us and took this family out, he's lying to us constantly about were he's been and who with. We are almost ready to go home as we can't take much more of this.
There are letters, fathers day cards, birthday cards all with grandad written on and yesterday the girls drove round on very expensive scooters/ buggies and parked and sat outside his house.
She doesn't like him spending any time with us and calls to make excuses for him to leave the house.we are hoping to see a DA in the next few days as this can't and will not go on any longer. Sad times but this b**** will get what's coming and very soon

Janet
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Completly agree, i didnt call the APS until i had made sure that there was something worth investigating. i shall call again tomorrow. im traveling to the states on saturday and would be peace of mind if this gets sorted before we have to fly back home.
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Helpunlimited - you're the best!
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APS is usually a division of Social Services, so you're talking to the right office.

Quite honestly, the person you talked to doesn't sound like she knows what she's talking about. The information on their website -- which cites the applicable statute -- directly contradicts what she said. I would call back and you'll most likely talk to a different person. I bet you'll get a different answer. If not, ask to speak to a supervisor. We've been working with senior citizens for 25 years, and I've never heard someone from APS say something like that.

Here is the applicable statute -- your father quite obviously qualifies as a vulnerable adult who falls under the jurisdiction of APS: "A person 18 years of age or older whose ability to perform the normal activities of daily living or to provide for his or her own care or protection is impaired due to a mental, emotional, long-term physical or developmental disability or dysfunction, or brain damage, or the infirmities of aging (s. 415.102(26), F.S.)."

Furthermore, the statutes governing APS also state: "(1) The department shall, upon receipt of a report alleging abuse, neglect, or exploitation of a vulnerable adult, begin within 24 hours a protective investigation of the facts alleged therein." (s. 415.104(1), F.S.)

The law, to me, is crystal clear that APS must conduct an investigation when they receive a report. Here are some links with all of the applicable information.

How to Report: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/Reporting.shtml
Statutes: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/policies.shtml

Again, if you contact APS and get the same response from a supervisor, I would contact your father's local representatives. They will have much more influence and can also reach people higher on the food chain.
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I contacted the Orange county adult protection services, they said basically its his life, his money and unless we can prove hes not sound of mind theres nothing we can do.I dont understand this stupid law either. Are the social services a different form of contact? she told me to call the local police but they couldnt do anything without a report from APS.
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OK, I just saw the post where you said that APS cannot help because she is not a family member or a caregiver. Frankly, I would try again as I don't see how the legislature would have written the law that way. That's simply crazy. And if you get that same response, then I would contact the elected officials in your father's district and make a big stink about it.
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Janet, I know I have asked this before but can't find the answer: have you contacted the Department of Social Services or Adult Protective Services? They are who you need to bring in. If you give me the zipcode he lives in, I will be happy to track down the number for you.
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Thankyou Dinak,
i will keep you all updated as to the outcome, btw she didnt get charged over the credit card fraud.........!
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