My mother has dementia. We don't have a diagnosis yet but the doctors are leaning toward Alzheimer's. The main problem we're having at the moment is getting her in for her doctor's appointments. The mere mention of doctors or medical personnel of any sort sends her into an irrational rage. Or last office visit resulted in a forty minute conversation with the nurse outside before we were forced to give up without seeing the doctor. She has an appointment on Monday and the doctor's advice was to inform her of where she is going and to speak to her calmly. This did not work the first time. Can anyone give us any tips?

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Do you know WHY the mere mention of doctors sends her into a rage? Her reasons might not make sense -- she has dementia, after all -- but they might give you some clues about how to approach the situation.

If she's fearful of getting a shot or being cut open, etc., you can promise her absolutely that won't happen. If she is paranoid about what the doctor will do to her, you can assure her that you will not leave her alone with the doctor for even one minute. I'm not suggesting that these are her reasons, but that knowing her reasons might help. In the 40-minute conversation with the nurse, did you get at the why Mother was refusing?

My heart goes out to you. You are certainly in a difficult struggle!

Jeanne Gibbs, thank you for your reply.
We have tried asking her why she won't go in for a check up and she usually won't give us a straight answer. When she does, she denies even needing to see a doctor. A few times she has accused us of saying that she's crazy even though we didn't mention memory problems. We were just trying to get her in for a check up.

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