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I'm new here. Been lurking for a few days and signed up because it's me who is declining due to a rare condition. I'm all alone isolated in a motel that rents to long-term renters. I'm ready to go home to be with God. I'm 52. I know that's considered young but this has been drag on for far too long and I feel 150. Just need someone to talk to. I get nothing but abused and derision from my family. No friends.



Thank you for any words of wisdom.

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Welcome alonenscared!

I am sorry that your family is not bring supportive. Hopefully you can find some support here.

Our youngest daughter lived in an extended stay motel for a while. Are you finding it some what comfortable?
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Hi Alonenscared, I am so sorry for your situation. I read some of your replies you wrote to others. In one of your replies, you said that you had to wheel yourself to the laundry room. Are you disabled and in a wheelchair?

Please tell us your story and why are you alone and scared. Perhaps, we can help in some way. Even if we can't, it still feels good to be heard and understood.
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Hi and thank you for your response.

It's not a very clean motel. They never clean my room and I'm not able to. It's quite lonely and the disease I have is so incredibly cruel.
Just trying to get over the anger of being forced to live past my time of dying with dignity and on my own terms before it got this severe.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome to the forum.
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Hi polarbear,

Thank you for your reply. I like your username.

When I was first transferred from hospital to AL I weighed 78 lbs and was weak & my muscles had contracted and atrophied. So I was in a wheelchair for a little while.

I was on my deathbed in October of 2019 but my former friend threw me under the bus after telling me how to exit life on my own terms. I ended up in hospital where I was brought back to this misery. I am isolated, alone, see nobody at all all day & night. In pain and unbearable suffering. The condition I have causes loss of moisture producing glands. No saliva, tears, sweat. It's destroyed my teeth that I took impeccable care of and it's just intolerable.

Right now I'm very scared of living and wish to be home with God. This has gone on far too long.

Thank you for listening. It helps to get things out & off my chest.
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I think you need to call Adult Protection services. They may be able to help you with resources. Really, sounds like a NH would not be any worse than where ur now. At least your clothes would be laundered and you would have 3 meals a day and socialization of some sort.

Office of Aging would be another suggestion.
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Hi Alonenscared - Your situation is so sad. JoAnn has good advice. Please take it. There's help available and you only need to reach out and request. I know you're in pain and you want out. Perhaps, it's not your time yet since you somehow found your way to this site.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new beginning, and a new chance to make changes. Baby steps. First, make the calls to those agencies mentioned by JoAnn, then take it from there.
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