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I met someone online. Supposedly he lived in a town an hour from here, but he was going to Nigeria for a job. After a short time there, he started asking for money. I’ve given him $40,000 so far.
He says he loves me. I feel stupid just seeing these words.
Now he wants more money before he can get home.
I’m thinking that would be a stupid idea. I would be stuck with bills I can’t pay and no future

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I haven't done this, but a good friend did. She was middle-aged, never married, and didn't date much. She thought she met someone really great online. I believe she was using a well-known dating site (which eventually banned the scammer, but not sure what would prevent him setting up a new profile). I don't think she ever saw the guy in person but there was some telephone contact. Maybe there was a photo put online at some point? Anyway, just like your situation, he supposedly traveled internationally and got stuck there. He had health problems while there. He claimed to need money for medical care as well as financing his trip home so they could be together. He even put people on the phone who claimed to be doctors, etc and they backed his story. She kept sending him money because it was all so convincing. These people are good at it - really good at it. She lost around $20-$25K to this man before she either cut him off or ran out of money. It's been a while, but I think she also tried to pursue him criminally somehow, but I don't know that it went anywhere because these scammers are slippery. I don't have specifics on that part of it. I think she advanced money from her credit cards to send to him and she ended up bankrupt. She never had a lot of wealth to begin with, so she was left alone and even more broke than before. My heart aches for people in this situation.
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Sounds like your online scammer friend actually lives in Nigeria, which is quite common these days......for online people from there to troll Facebook and other social media sites to find "love". And then ask for money.

Where were you sending money to, Nigeria? 😣

Please DO NOT send this person one more dime of your hard earned money! You've already lost a fortune of your retirement, so don't waste any more!

I don't know if such things are reportable to the police or not. I doubt you have any way to recoup your losses, either. I'm sorry you have been hurt like this, too.

Please don't answer anymore direct messages from men on social media. And definitely don't send anyone any more money!!!!
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I am really hoping this is a troll post :(
otherwise.....cut this jerk out of your life. He’s probably been IN Nigeria this whole time scamming many women! You are being scammed and your money is gone forever. He doesn’t love you. He loves your money!
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Nesie, I'm sorry to learn that you've been caught up in a honey trap by a scammer, and that's what this person is.    The plan is fairly standard, with some variations.  Usually the scammer claims the he, or she, or a relative, is trapped somewhere in a foreign country, needs funds to access his or her own alleged assets, and wants your assistance.

Or he's lonely, wants companionship, falls in love immediately, and needs money.   They prey on vulnerable and lonely women; finding someone receptive encourages them.

Everything is fake, designed to elicit pity and concern.  Once the target gives money, it doesn't stop, and it escalates, sometimes into physical threats.

I don't recall if the FTC or FBI has jurisdiction, but I do recall that one federal agency had become involved.   Do some online research on "romantic scams", "honey traps" and Nigerian scams.  They're all versions of someone who creates a fake identity for the purpose of financially scamming someone.

This hit has a good selection of articles you can read:

https://www.google.com/search?ei=667vX6SkKJL5tAaDgpXgCw&q=romantic+scams&oq=romantic+scams&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzIHCAAQyQMQQzIECAAQCjIECAAQQzIECAAQCjIECAAQCjIECAAQCjIECAAQCjIECAAQCjIECAAQCjIECAAQCjoCCAA6CAguELEDEIMBOggIABCxAxCDAToHCAAQsQMQQzoOCC4QsQMQgwEQxwEQowI6CAguEMcBEKMCOgUIABCRAjoFCAAQsQM6CAguEMcBEK8BOgYIABAKEEM6CAguELEDEJMCOgUIABDJA1CsuwFYmMoBYOzLAWgAcAB4AIABd4gBhAmSAQQxMi4ymAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpesABAQ&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjkxc228PvtAhWSPM0KHQNBBbwQ4dUDCAw&uact=5#spf=1609543430638

Or just search on "romantic scams".

Back out of this while protecting yourself.  Don't let on that you know he's a criminal and scammer.   You do need to recognize that these people can be dangerous.

You could probably end it quickly by telling him that you've suffered a great financial loss, have severe health problems, and need him to repay the money, ASAP.    I would guess you wouldn't hear from him again.   (Make sure not to delete his messages though.)

I would read any FTC or FBI articles and be guided by what they suggest on who, and at what level, to report this scammer.   Some of them actually are caught!   One was caught by he made the mistake of targeting a federal level employee; I don't recall if the man worked for the FBI but I think he did.  He set up his own honey trap, with the conversation being recorded, the scammer caught, arrested, and taken out of the romance scam arena.   I think his next residence was a prison.
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DO NOT GIVE HIM ANOTHER CENT!
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I get weekly requests to connect with fellows on Facebook. I repeatedly report them to Facebook, but Facebook does nothing about them.

I find that the men who try to connect with me use attractive photos and are very charming. I refuse to engage with them, but as I said I get several of these contacts each week.

Although my profile security is tight, they seem to think because I am single, I am looking for a man.
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Tothill, I doubt FB would do anything that might decrease activity, and the opportunity to gain revenue from leveraging personal information.   If you haven't researched Zuckerberg and Marcus Aurelius and Roman emperors, take some time to do so.    There are some interesting comparisons, if not emulation.  (PS:  notice how Zuckerberg wears his hair.  Remind you of anyone prominent during the so-called Roman Empire?)
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The guy I LOVE on Facebook (and I DO love Facebook; I comfort myself that Mark gave 75 million to General Hospital in SF when I couldn't) is the one who keeps trying with me using picture of blue-eyed Paul from the British Baking Show. How DOES this facebook rogue know I love blue-eyed Paul. He has pictures of himself with his grown daughters. A good ploy. And much I block him, he is always back with another name soon enough. He must be just smitten with me.
I wonder if he is an old ex husband of mine. There's a few. No. Wait. My ex husbands, of ALL people are NOT smitten with me.
The lovely thing about being on Facebook is that you can be ANYBODY. And I basically AM. Go figure, from Ancient retired RN I have morphed into graphic designer who studied at the Pratt in New York City and am only in my 30s. If I friend you, pictures will prove I am NOT in my 30s, or have aged very badly indeed.
This is the thing about Social Media. Trust no one. I mean, right now, sitting here, typing away, what is to say I am NOT the retired ancient RN I claim to be, but rather a 16 year old Nigerian lad hard at work on they keyboard? Or Paul from British Baking Show. With a Nursing 101 handbook circa 1970s.
As to sending money to anyone you don't know personally? Ummmmm. I advise against it. The odds of seeing a penny of it back are poor.
I certainly can understand, esp in Covid times, the desperate lonliness that can make an person prey for these schemes and scams. It is said our elders are preyed upon so easily because they TALK to them on the phone. Simply TALK to them, where so few others care to.
It's pretty sad. I have come EVEN to question the actual posts of some OPs on Forum. And THAT is definitely sad.
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My father falls for these all the time. One was a 30 yr from France. The next was was a fashion designer from FLorida but somehow got stuck in Belarus. She asked for 10k . Not much I can do even if he does start sending money. At 86 he is still going to work everyday
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Am hoping this is not a troll post, too!

The best thing is to cease contact immediately. This person (or group of people) is a con artist. Contact the FBI about it. Hopefully this creep left enough information in texts and emails to be easy to find and arrest.

Safest to meet people to date who are friends of friends.
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The FBI? LOL. they aren’t going to touch this. The OP voluntarily gave her money away. These scammers are outside the US anyway. Good luck finding their real identity. They don’t use their real identities and unlike the US, can’t easily be tracked online.
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What is it about Nigeria? Always sounds like bad news. Of course don't give another cent. What is the exact method used to transfer this money? I would try that source to complain to even if it seems pointless. Anyway you can make others aware of this scam would be a good idea. Sorry this has happened to you.
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