I look at her pictures and remember her years of volunteer service. She was so vibrant, so beautiful, so smart and the cruelty of depriving her of all she worked for seems like some invisible slap in the face that just doesn't stop. I can't do anything about it except keep her with me at home, keeping someone with her at all times, keeping her fed, the bills paid, and answering her questions over and over. I just get so sad about it sometimes... I'm sorry ... I sound like I'm complaining ... I'm just missing my mom.
Know also that we can feel great relief from the strain of looking after them.
Try not to feel guilty over sometimes feeling that relief. It does not mean that you didn't care for her and love her.you did the best you could for her.
It can help to associate with others who have similar experiences. If you can join a local support group for dementia caregivers that can be tremendously helpful. Even participating in this online forum helps you to realize that you are not abnormal.
Grief is not the same as depression. But there is always a possibility that prolonged grief can trigger depression or make it worse. I think it would be a good idea to get a medical checkup yourself. Failure to pay attention to your own needs can make a very difficult situation worse.
I miss my mom so much. ((((((HUGS)))))))She was, and still is, such a great lady.
Do you have anyone that you can talk about this with face to face? Are you able to take any breaks to give you some fresh air? From your profile, it sounds like you live with depression. Are you on any medication for depression. Did you know that 60% of caregivers have the symptoms of clinical depression and 1/3 of caregivers die before the person they are caring for dies. So, please take care of you.
Keep in touch.