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I hope all of you have a lovely Thanksgiving. This is the time to thank God for our own health, our families, our wonderful country, and the fact that we have been blessed in some way or other.
My husband and I will spend it alone together for the first time in 10 years. I am looking forward to it. We have always spent it with Mom, eating at the Independent Living facility and it has never been relaxed or enjoyable. This year she will be in the nursing home and well cared for.


I will feel somewhat guilty not to see her, but in my heart I know she will be unaware it is a holiday, and if someone tells her, she will forget in five minutes. I visited today. She is so tranquilized she is pretty much out of it but they have no choice - it is the only way they can keep her from hurting herself. She gets up every five minutes otherwise. They have padded her hips and the floor around her bed, put alarms on her bed and chair. She can't stand on her own and has already fallen in the hospital, NH and AL. Now at least she is not agitated and restless and sleeps most of the time. She doesn't eat more than a few spoonsful of ice cream, maybe a sip of water so Thanksgiving will be meaningless to her, as it has been for the past 10 years.
This is so sad, knowing the end is in sight, but at least she is calm.

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BYW, there is no turkey recall. I wanted to clarify that before I get sued by the butterball turkey. I posted an old joke but no one took the bait. If you want the punch line drop me a PM.
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For those cooking:
thekitchn/oven-spacetime-continuum-how-d-102473
"The Oven Space/Time Continuum: How Do You Schedule Oven Time for Your Thanksgiving Dinner?"

My only difference is that the pies are the first thing I make the morning of Thanksgiving. This is the simplest oven schedule I could find. I checked out Cook's Illustrated and their schedule began 3 days ago.
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Happy Thanksgiving to all.
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So sorry...premature post.....anyway....I lost it.....too much, esp since, in my bare feet, I could have reached anything on shelves.....well, that was my first, very personal lesson in dementia.....arghhh....years later, not an easy journey but at least safe, for her. Still....I'll never lose that image of her trying to climb that d*mn stepladder.....well.....no worries about that, now...Best to all....XO, Mina
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I will be hosting this year, party of 8. I am thankful that mom is still pretty self sufficient, just requiring some help and oversight.
Happy Holidays to all
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Amy...thanks for your loving post, very kind of you.....Mom is now very content in a lovely ALF....not drugged....pretty cogent and able to converse....so, there is that....OTOH.....I will never forget the last T'Day we spent together....I was sitting on the LR floor, putting together her Christmas tree.....(a family tradition)...when Mom jumped up (ever the Energizer Bunny) and says, "Oh, I have more ornaments in the closet".....Hmmmmm.....OK.....well....5 minutes later I'm calling Mom.....no answer....I finally get up....walk into guest BR....find Mom inside the walk-in closet.....she's unfolded a d*mn ladder, has one foot on the first step, shaky, shaky skinny little arms grasping dearly the siderails,
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pamstegma, Funny! Great MIL story. Thanks, I needed a chuckle.
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Ladies, watch out for the Butterball turkeys this year. Apparently there's been a huge recall.
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I figure if I burn a side dish or two and serve dinner an hour late, it will be just like Thanksgiving with my MIL. She once forgot the ham at Christmas dinner, so she chopped up some hot dogs. I want to put up her fake tree, because her son insists it looks like a toilet brush. Ah, the memories!
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Happy Thanksgiving, AmyGrace, and to all! This will be my first year in nearly a decade not hosting and cooking. It's become an important ritual for me. Me and my oven schedule would bang out a juicy turkey, sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, green bean casserole with french fried onions, a big pan of savory sourdough stuffing, fresh cranberry sauce, homemade turkey gravy, and two pumpkin pies in 5 hours. We'll be going to the independent living facility where my inlaws now live because the schlep to my house would exhaust them both. My husband is happy that I'm getting a rest but I'm going to miss the leftovers. I hope everyone's day is peaceful.
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Happy Thanksgiving to you AmyGrace and to all! I will push all my cares and worries aside and make the day special for daddy, who is on a feeding tube and mom, an English major who now can barely find her words. Sis, kids visiting from college, and caregivers included. I got a beautiful Poinsettia plant for the centerpiece and ordered a turkey with all the trimmings.
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Happy Thanksgiving to you AmyGrace and others on this forum. This will also be the first year without my parents having dinner with us. My sig other and I will have Marie Colander turkey TV dinners and pumpkin pie when he gets home from work [national security doesn't stop for the holidays].

I am no Martha Stewart so cooking a dinner from scratch is too nerve wracking for me. I need a tranquilizer just to turn on the stove :P Last year and previous years when my parents came for holiday, my local grocery store would cook a Butterball turkey, and I would pick up the box which also had sides, pie, stuffing, and bread... all I did was heat it up.

Dad's daytime Caregiver plans to take Dad to Cracker Barrel for Thanksgiving early bird after they visit with my Mom who is in a nursing home. I will visit Mom some time in the afternoon, depending on my own health... caught sig other's nasty cold. Mom is also at the stage she doesn't remember if I was there or not. And she's a climber out of bed, too, not realizing she can no longer stand or walk.

Good day to start on my Christmas cards and letters.... how I dread doing all those. Guys get off pretty easy as how many cards/letters do they do??? Plus Dad will probably want me to do their cards, too, but their list is now pretty short.
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Thanks for sharing your story and you best wishes for us all. I know this is so hard for all the folks in similar situations but you seem to have a healthy perspective about the realities facing your Mom and your family. Best wishes to you.
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Thank you AmyGrace. I can only imagine how different it will be for you this year. But you shared how peaceful your mom is, and there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. As you said, she wouldn't remember... sometimes, it's 'our turn' and hope you have a blessed and peaceful day.
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Thank you for those wishes AmyGrace. I'm sorry your mom won't be able to celebrate with you, but am relieved that she's well cared for and safe. I hope you can relax and find some time to refuel.

My loved one is in Memory Care and while we will visit with her, she won't be able to process what is going on. We'll just take treats, hug and look at some old photos. I go for the moments of comfort, since she won't recall it minutes later.

I'm so grateful for all I have, especially my health. There are so many who don't have that anymore.

God bless you all and best wishes to you all as we approach another Thanksgiving.
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