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This is my first holiday season as a caregiver. Normally my children and I visit for a couple of hours then race home, THANKFUL for the peace and quiet. But now that we are living with my 87 year old father things are very different. Im trying my best to make things happy for everyone. But I feel like its never going to work because of Dad. Perhaps its wrong to blame him but hes the one who ruins all good moments in the house at this point. My sister has been here since last Saturday. He is EXTREMELY POSSESSIVE of her. He got angry at her the other evening because she was spending time with my daughters rather than talking to him. She sits right next to him all day..right up until he goes to bed . She listens to him, listens to CDs, watches Movies. All he does is sit and complain about me, my children, my brothers.
He is treating me very horribly. Talking to my sister and completely ignoring me or giving me orders. I offered to make Thanksgiving dinner. Of course he is sabotaging that. He had to have the HHA take him to the store to shop so that he can announce to everyone what he contributed.
No one wants to be around him at all. Hes an angry, bitter old man now and you never know when the next explosion will take place. At this point its like living with a spoiled toddler. If you dont pay attention to him, he throws a fit. You cannot watch a movie, play a game or even talk without him taking over the conversation...directing it to my sister. ..Then turning it into an argument.

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The only thing that helps me in a situation like this is to try to turn on a positive attitude and enjoy things in spite of the grumpy dad. I do have to admit that a grumpy person can set everyone on edge. I hope that Thanksgiving goes well. Holidays can be stressful for people when they get older. They so want to provide like they used to do. I would say to let him go ahead and provide what he can. And maybe you can rescue your sister some of the time to have her help you. Will husbands be there so there can be some man talk?

Good luck getting through it. My own philosophy each year is "this too shall pass."
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Sis is sitting next to Grumps all day. This is the silver lining, step away, go "run errands" aka free time. Who cares what or who he is complaining about while you are getting a manicure!

When he does explode, just picture him as a charicature. Maybe picture him as the grumpy old man on the Simpsons. A little imagination, and a glass of wine may make the situation more palatable.

Sometimes the best way to deal with an uncomfortable or serious situation is to make a little light of it.

Happy Thanksgiving,
L
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He really needs some medication to turn it around. Talk to the MD.
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I don't think being grouchy calls for drugs... except maybe chocolate for myself when I get grouchy.
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Chocolate makes 99% of the world happy. Get him some!
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I know myself I will try my hardest to be positive by reminding myself frequently that the holiday season doesn't last forever! I will do a lot of swearing under my breath, eye rolling and walking away!!!

Unfortunately I have the winter to look forward to after the holidays!!!!! LOL At least we have each other to complain to! Thank goodness for AC!!!!
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