I am 49 and I moved back home to help take care of my grandma because my mom is also in a wheel chair and can’t do a whole lot. It has been going okay, I work at my job on nights and get home in the morning to make sure everyone is okay and I sleep for a while then I get up and help my dad make dinner. I then take care of the house and gram and her shower. Now 2 days ago on Sunday morning I called the ambulance for my mom. My mom is 69, my dad is 72, and my grandma is 91. Now my mom is in the ICU at the hospital and on a ventilator all caused from too much CO2, which means carbon dioxide in her brain. I’m now working, going to the hospital, making sure gram is okay and trying to also take care of my dad. I’m having a very hard time dealing with the fact that I’m a certified nurse aid and I should have gotten my mom to the hospital sooner, then maybe she wouldn’t be as bad off. I’m kicking myself in the butt.

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itstime, I am so very sorry for this extremely stressful situation. I hope that your mother recovers.

Yes, if you'd gotten your mother to the hospital sooner ... if your dad had noticed something wrong ... if your gram had alerted you ... if there hadn't been and CO2 present ... if, if, if. I guess it is impossible for us not to think of all the "if onlys". But it isn't very productive. What happened, happened. And it certainly isn't your fault! I am sure you called the ambulance as soon as you knew it was needed.
You are doing an amazing job caring for three elders. You deserve to feel proud. I know that as caregivers we feel responsible for everything. But the fact is, we can't control every detail of every day.

So, kick yourself in the butt if you absolutely have to, but set a very brief time limit on that activity, and get on with the wonderful things you do.

Best wishes to your mom and your whole family. Please keep us posted on how she does.

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