Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

eating chicken wings by sticking entire thing in mouth and then spitting out naked bone - not even the cartilage , onto the plate in restaurant.- Spitooo! ... i am wondering if dementia is starting with this guy...

Bleah... want vacation just thinking about that.

My poor Mom got sick vomiting. While I have sympathy for her, I am so grossed out. She did not get sick in the disposable container I gave her when she first felt nauseous. Instead, she got sick in my kitchen sink and used the scrubber to push it down the drain. She put her dentures on the counter filled with vomit. Thank goodness for bleach.

This is something I found on my Facebook by Incredible and would like to share it with you past caregivers and present caregivers.

To My Mother and Father

I wanted to call you today to say I love you.
But your old number is no longer in service.
I tried the operator and she said " sorry I
have no number for you".
I tried your house, but you don't live there
anymore. The post office has no forwarding address.
I guess heaven is to far away.
I Love You, I Miss You. You are in my heart always
and forever.
Merry Christmas to all those in heaven.

Share in remembrance of loved ones gone
but not forgotten.

Hugs top all
luvCuz

Thanks! I have no idea what is normal and what is not normal. It was the only time I have seen that happen. What about on the weekends when there is different staff? This past weekend, I found dirty gloves thrown on my Dad’s floor two days in a row.

Karen, what you're seeing is NOT normal. If ppl are wetting the floor during meals, and you're getting grossed out regularly, the staff does NOT have things under control the way the should. I speak from experience. My mom has been in a dementia unit for a little over 3 years. They are NOT supposed to leave ppl to their own broken devices.

Stay strong, Jen. Now you have to listen to people trying to be comforting, but, not knowing what to say.

jen ,,i just saw this , sending you a bear hugs xoxo , hope you go have yourself a vaction and hang out with bobbie ,,,you will feel so much burden comes falling off of your shoulders and you will be glad that you did .
xoxox

Good one Cuz!

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Judy opened a letter from home one evening.Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.Sister Judy smiled at the gesture.

As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. - Sister Judy," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him.

The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Judy was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

"What's this?" she asked."That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1."

Jen!
I still have that boat...... Wasn't that a goal for us? :)
Wanna go for a boat ride?
If you don't feel like it all good, but I'm still here.
Lovbob

Jen so sorry about your loss. You have always been on our prayer list for what you have been put through. We are glad that your journey now is over and that you maybe able to move on with some happy thoughts about moving on from the past.Hugs to you Jen and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, which is going to get brighter now every day.
luvCuz

Reading this post has really been supportive for me and funny. Thanks for the laughs! I moved my Dad here to a nh 2 min from me and I go there several times a day. I hadn’t been in nursing homes very much and I am hoping I will lose weight because the stuff I see has disgusted me. It’s just gross! I’ve seen parts of my Dad I thought I’d never see and seen ppl wet the floor during dinner and stuff. Like ewwwww. My dad has only been here two weeks and just about every day, I see something new that is disgusting. This NH is nice and the ppl are nice, I’m sure it’s all normal, but it’s a shocker to me.

oh Jen ((((((((hugs)))))) Hate those kind of remarks. Look after yourself the best you can. I imagine you will have an emotional roller coaster ride for a while. Keep posting and let us know how you are.

Jen, I have been reading, not commenting. Not around as much as I used to be. My mom passed in June. While sad, it was past time, she suffered so with her disease.

It is over now for you. It will be difficult, I am sure to process all of the feelings. Rest...

It's over. He died at 2:15 this afternoon. It has been an awful week. I am just fractured and relieved and just raw... I have had fifteen people tell me he was a beautiful man who lived a good life and they were all so happy to have met him. Yes, thank you.

Ugh Jen. So sorry you are still dealing.
toxic stuff.
lovbob

Thanks Bobbie, He's not dead, yet. Eating less and less, using more and more morphine and bed ridden, It sounds like end stages but we thought he'd die right after Grandma died, then we thought he'd die after we had to placing him in nursing care....Not. So who know how long he can drag out dying...
He actually asks mom when I left the room if I had left. God just go away already! (Anyone not in the loop, we are dealing with a child molester here, not somebodies dear, kindly loving grandpa.)

Jen, thinking about you and what you're enduring. I can't imagine it.
A friend's husband died around 8 this evening. Cancer with Dementia tossed in at the end.
Jen Jen Jen pulling for you.
Lovbob

Fading, not sick, more morphine, odd statements to no one, semi-coherent, nurses are very polite and sorry and seem to be aware of it being the end....

Jen You know that we are all thinking about you. Know that the time will come but its not in our control ok? Hugs your way kiddo
Happy Turkey Day to all you wonderful caregivers from me and the wife. Hugs to all.
luvCuz

(((((Jen))))) I hope this is the end for all the reasons you mention. Often a prolonged old age creates hardship for everyone involved and makes no sense to us. Keep us informed.

Happy Turkey week to everyone. Grandma died ten years ago right after thanksgiving...and it looks like grandpa may finally be passing as well... We are talking comfort measures. He is in bed, possibly permanently, and they are moving to morphine... Please let this be the end. It's enough, the last ten years have been painful, awful and pointless in so many ways, for every one. Thank you to everyone who came and stayed and even blew by, the angry, the supportive and all in-between...
Love, Jen

have a happy thanksgiving you all xoxo

"The reason we can't have nice things..." Must be a different version for you bobbie. Let's trade!
Glad you are hanging in there! Still here. Beh what ever. only Journaling. After nothing BUT rejections After interest I figure it must be me. But I better not hear about my stories coming from someone else better written. Tell me that can't happen!
It is snowing here, literally. Great great here comes the cabin fever.
Stay sane and well and warm everyone. Love Jen

A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. “Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price,” said the older man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”

The salesman got red in the face, took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. “Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man… “There you go, Poppa,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price….”

“See you later, Daddy, and Happy Anniversary.”

Good Morning Crew!

My computer wet the bed after Irma hit us and Comquat (Comcast) was repairing the cable and fried my poor computer through the ethernet port. Man oh man and no they won't accept responsibility. Dogs.

Cuz! My phone still works! I had no idea that anyone was wondering about me but I am more than grateful that you guys were.

Linda texted me! :) Woot! Still have the pics of your grandkids on my phone. Sweet babies!

Speaking of grateful, thanks to Veronica91, cwillie, JessieBelle and Mina7in7Motown for standing up for the Grossed Out Thread with articulate, well thought out posts. It's true that some folks just see the first few posts from back in the day and have no clue what we're about but we're still here and my mom is gone now over 7 years. Hard to believe.

Without the support of the 24/7 caregivers on this thread I don't think I would have made it out to the light. I was in the trenches for 5.5 years and aged 15.

Jen and Meanwhile and Linda09 and Cuz! and all of the strong women and men who have posted here over 8 years have my gratitude and respect.
Jen! Also hard to believe he is still holding on. I hope you are writing! You are so talented!

Christine! No stress, it happens. Not very often but sometimes it does.
Glad that your mom is still here and that she is safe and sound in a nursing home that I bet wasn't easy to find or finance.

I know that's there's a whole other stress involving nursing homes and loved ones but the 24/7 aspect of family Dementia caregiving is the stuff that will give you PTSD no kidding.

If we couldn't laugh and find the funny in the nonstop, long term insanity of the '36 Hour Day' (check that out; a great book), there would be a lot of demented people condemned to living in horrendous circumstances because their caregivers burned out and became sick both mentally and physically.

JesseBelle: 'We are the Nursing Home...' Nailed It.

OK.
I still have the boat, but no longer work at that little marina.
The Kitty (Clawshank the Decimator, the Reason We Can't Have Nice Things) is still here, fat and sassy and sitting on the window sill basking in a sunbeam.
I got her an early Christmas present of a hummingbird feeder attached to the window with suction cups and the hummingbirds take great joy annoying the Cat and the Cat takes great joy trying to figure out how to magically pass through the window and snag a hummingbird. Not going to happen ha.
Alright, now she's opening a cabinet door trying to get my attention. She forgot that she just ate her breakfast and is hungry. Catzheimer's.

Mom used to do that. Forgot she just ate and want to eat again. I swear sometimes I used to make about 5 meals a day. Would make little ones so she always had something to bite.

luckylu! Ow! Does your mom still have all her teeth? Careful or you'll end up pulling back a stump! :)

OK, going out to pick up pinecones so I can mow the grass. They just picked up the Irma storm debris on Wednesday but boy oh boy there's a pile of pine needles and cones out there that need to be raked and the back yard is full of pinecones.

I think I'm going to make ornaments out of them.
Anybody have any ideas? Woot!

lovbob

Mom thought my baby finger was a french fry and tried to eat it~

I hope bobbie is doing O.K., been a while or maybe she is just busy there.

Christine, it may be that because your mother lives in a nursing home that you don't have to live through these things. Many of us here ARE the nursing home. We do the dirty work. If people want to talk about it to help vent the steam, let's not silence them.