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oh my gosh tenn ! that is soo sad ! hope his kids have to live with guilt for rest of thier lives ! i remmy my gfriend told me she watch a show , dont remmy the name of it , said all bro and sis gathered around and talked about what to do with thier dad , all says im busy i have a job and i have a life blah blah blah . a daughter in law is divorced from that man s son , she sat there and listen to all thier excuses and shook her head and the dad sat there with his head down , sad man . she stood up and said i know im just the in law ex , may i have any say so in this , they all said yeah , she told them that they ought to be ashame of themself ! and she is willing to take care of him till to the end , she did and has no regrets . amazin a large family and no one would take him . thats pathaitc . that old man lived happy and died happy . so sad .
OOOhhh Christina, Yes, make the Golden Child take you out to lunch and I hope you pop the question at lunch and make sure you don't reach for the check!
why don't you put some of that expensive lotion on your sister's salad at lunch....? then she can get some use out of it too. Whatta sna!ch.
Vent on kiddo. There are many of us on this thread that are caring for or have cared for people who treated us very badly. I wa very lucky because even though my mom and I had an awful, secret keeping past (which I always wondered about, as in: what's the big deal?) we grew very very close. I had never stopped loving her or my daddy even when I didn't understand why they were being so mean and I am happy that we were able to be together. Mental Illness sux, whether it's BPD or any garden variety anxiety disorder or what ever. No one is as selfish as the mentally ill. It's always all about them. OK, enough about me..... what do you think of me? har har
btw, you can't over indulge in venting. If you make the comparison of a human being and a tea kettle, when it gets to a certain point, the pressure MUST be released or the tea kettle and everything around it will be severely damaged.
vent on
I think that I told you folks that with my background I really had only 2 choices for work. 1. Serial Killer 2. Comedian
Their was a well-respected older judge in town that my dad thought alot of.His oldest boy[who is friends with my brother] and his wife did not want to take care of their daddy in his old age-so he went behind the shed and blew himself away.The boy who is a banker and also into politics did everything he could to keep the truth out of it.He kept it out of the papers,played up the role of saddened son-even though he didn't have time for his father.My dad would have done the same thing if my brothers and their wives tried to do that to him.
OK--I'm back and everyone is probably gone! It's 10:15 in CA and I just got finished with my Mother, breakfast, shower, dressed. Giving my Mother a shower is a combination of trying to give a dog a bath without him shaking, and trying to catch a wild cat. It's a job in itself, and with a bad shoulder, so painful for me, because I am trying to keep her from losing her balance. My Golden Child sister is coming today for a visit. Made sure she told me she was "bringing another present for Mother." She didn't even address the Christmas card she sent to my husband and I, just Mother, and sent her an expensive hand wash and moisturizer combo, which she said that "you will probably get some use out of it, too, when you put it on Mom". I kid you not, people. I thought there was a real frickin' Cinderella out there when I was a child--I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF US! My perspective is so AWESOME these days, that I am amused so much of the time when I am not P---ED OFF. When I am not amused, I am amazed, then the jaw drops, and I give myself away. Today, I will wait for her to ask, "What's for lunch?", and I will casually say, "Oh, I thought you were taking us out to lunch for the holidays." I asked her in an email last week if she would come for 3 or 4 days to stay with Mother while my husband and I got a break, before she leaves her winter town for her summer town( here's a barf bag), and she has not answered me yet. I thought, today, when we are all having lunch--at the restaurant, HA!--I will ask her in front of God, my Mother and the caregiver if she has decided when she can come to stay with Mother. The anticipation is killing me, and I think it's making my shoulder feel better. What do you think? HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ALL the birthday girls--if I had known I would have baked a red velvet cake for everyone! Oh, one more vent-type of true story, then I'm through.( I'm starting to feel like I have over-indulged): My Mother gave me one--uno-1 birthday party when I was 6 years old. That was the only party I ever had until my husband gave me one for my 53rd BD in 04. She took 2 pianos away from me before I was 21,( the last one right about the time my Dad committed suicide) and forced me into early therapy when I was 28. It took me until I was 50 to realize she is a Narcissicist and a Passive Aggressive. I am a slow learner. I kept thinking and believing there was something wrong with me. My sister helped. Now, I rise above all the years of their selfish crap and do the RIGHT THING. Like a lot of you are doing--believe me, I KNOW IT, YOU PRECIOUS SOULS. EVERY ONE OF YOU. Thank you, again, I guess I was really fed up with the holidays and Perry Como singing in the background, and things got to me. Thank you for your generous gift--Joe, staff, Bobbie, all my new friends--and the ones who think I'm an idiot, too. Love, Christina
tenn , broke my heart when ur dad said he didnt want to push the button or call for help , fear they send him to old folks home . dad had fell off the recliner and laid on the floor all night long till he got enuff strenght to pull himself up . my sis said why didnt u call ! he said ahh didnt want to bother anybody , but i knew deep inside that he thought the same thing ur dad did . those mini strokes kept hittin him like fireworks . sis left fla and moved back to texas , dr told my bro he s gotta go living assist place or live iwth someone , oh my gosh all hell broke lose . thats when i step in and got him out of the living assist place , hell i wouldnt mind livin there ! it was a nice place . but dad wouldnt have that , he rather be with me . now i see yep i rather be with my families too . pa still sick , he s mumblin jumblin , amkeepin an eye on him , waiting for my daughter to come home and tell me what she thinks ....
Castoff, my dad had one of those life alerts,came in handy some .One day when he was able of getting in and out of wheelchair,he fell trying to get from toliet to wheelchair.I was gone to town and was gone for most of the day.He had that thing on his neck and the phone was in reach,but he neither pressed it or called for help.He sat there on the floor all day until I got home,could have called my brother.He said he did not call anyone because he did not want to be taken to hospital or old folks home.He only trusted me to handle it.The thing was I had gotten to delapidated to lift a 200 lb. man up,so I had to call for assistance.I had my daughter punched the button because he never got mad at her or the lucky dog.He was right they wanted to haul him in.I have learned the importance of having medical backup on these issues.My brothers wanted it not to get out my dad was sundowning,so I was not able to get medical records.My dads doctor left to work at a resort,so he did not have a regular doctor.Did not matter when you have a District attorney brother,need a new prescription a call from his highness and a new prescription was written-Home Health turned their back on that one also. So because of the lawsuit I didn't get any advice on sundowning because they were scared that would interfer with their plan.The home health nurse would tell my brother to get my dad to the hospital asap. and he would ignore her, but yet she never reported him.If I was POA,I would have been reported for a lot less.
castoff, I'm so glad you and your mom forgave each other. Forgiveness is devine. I wish my sis would be that way. Anyways, such drama you have to deal with. I guess that's all you can do: Thank God for his grace & mercy. I was so fortunate to have a mom that accepted help and even wanted it, while not being demanding at the same time.
HAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY CAPTAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Saran on the toilet seat....you wicked girl.! My old tomcat used to loooove to be vaccumed....cannister type not upright! He would even roll over in order to get both sides. The boy we have now attacks the brush unless you give him big love while brushing...I need to be an octopus!
Thank you Ted for the info on Area Aging etc. Mom is in hosp again & her doc is not helping at all. Just a cash cow to him. I tried to explain the "cry wolf" thing to mom...the same story she told me as a child but it didn't register. Not much does anymore. She & I had a blow up just before Christmas & yesterday I wen in and forgave her..she forgave me too. This is a huge deal after 15 yrs of torture from her. I so need to get a real geriatric evaluation for her. I can't give her the attention she needs & she can no longer live alone. I don't understand why this has to be such a battle. When she is unable (mentally)or unwilling to press the button on her personal alarm to summon help & chooses to lay there until another tenant passes by & hears her screaming (getting the whole building involved) then you would think it's obvious, but no. I know the drama will end some day, but I need help now & I can't bring myself to give her over to the state guardianship even though she seems to intend to kill me. I thank GOD for HIS grace & mercy.
thanks you guys and always remember: I'm here because YOU GUYS are the Heros!!
Tenny, that was very nice. You guys are so nice to me.
Other than that, I'm sitting here flicking Cat hair off the computer and am thinking about maybe today's the day I try to Vacuum the Cat.
love you guys!
Miz! force yourself to do something fun today!
Put some saran wrap on the toilet bowl so your husband can get a surprise!! hard to see in a dimly lit room. clean up is worth it because of the laughing.
BOBBI this is just in case i am not home HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AND MANY MORE you supply the music lov you elizabeth
Bobbie, your the hostest with the mostest-you have people skills,your a diplomat.Its not just the thread its your ablity to make various people from all walks of life,location and income levels feel welcomed.I've never known a modest Goat.Shucks....
You're right Ted. when you're right, you're right. It like waiting for geological time to pass to get anything up and running like I just pitched, but it CAN be done. let me see what I can do.
I'm losing my mind on discovery Drooling over the Deadliest Catch DVDs..
Count me Freakin IN! It's true, secrets will make you sick. Lets go ahead bring all that we know is true under the kliegs and start some serious healing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME .......... IT,'S MY PARTY AND I 'LL CRY IF I WANT TO........ rip i can only speak for me but my mom always mad sure my birthday was special and not that christmas was anything less than special i always had my birthday presents seperate and i had just as many of them as i did christmas presents. i am sure that it was harder on my mom but she made sure that if i got one present for christmas ,i got one present for my birthday which was usually what we got cause we did not get tons of presents under the tree lik i see my kids try to do for their kids. i did not do it with my kids caus i could not afford it either. i also had cake and ice cream and we sang happy birthday. now i have heard a lot of peopl that have had it hard on their birthdays but my mom always mad mine special and i also have a grandchild that has a birthday before christmas and i try to encourage the my daughter makes it special for her. i assume bobbie's birthday is special for her also.
mom and i are going to the coast today my back is alright i hop it hold up we going to do a little shoping for my birthday and maybe som playing will talk to yall later
love yall and thak yall for all the birthday cards and birthday wishes yall sent oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxo
Venting will keep you from going nuts. yes, that is why i did it because i had a sneaking suspicion that IF it was GROSS and AWFUL and people were HATEFUL to me, THOUSANDS of other people were going through the same thing. I am not so self centered as to think that I was the only one.
Secrets will make you Sick. Dysfunctional family members are counting on that, too. to keep you from speaking up.
Thanks for the Capricorn info that TrueColors aka Elizabeth and I share, Christina!
So if I have it right, I'm an immature old goat? sounds ok... True, whaddya think? lol
Yes, Ted, there could be an awakening of the depressed caregiver with an Intervention!
Worst nightmare. Me showing up on sibs front porch with a camera crew. Pull the Investigative reporter routine. "Why have you abandoned your mother and put your sister into poverty?"
worse yet, follow the deadbeat sibs to a restaurant where they're having a grand old time while mom and sis are home eating macaroni.
don't get me started. OR go ahead and get me started.
I can tell that I'm getting stronger: I want to start something.
I agree with Miz. Don't get me wrong but I like it when you guys vent, makes me feel like less of whiner myself. Isn't that why Bobbie gave us this gift?
christina, please don't feel bad about venting on here. You have every right and if works like this. We all can vent so it's okay to vent. We want us to. It is helpful. If you couldn't vent then I would feel like I couldn't vent and so on and so forth. See what I mean? So vent, girl!!
I was wondering where Ted was this morning! Go, Ted! Yes, I sent Sue a hug and a little advice this morning. You vent, we respond. It's a very good thing, this site, gross, or not. I prefer NOT gross. My Mother has been a nervous wreck since Christmas morning. Too much excitement? She was upset because she said "no one gave her any acknowledgment." She got several nice presents and was in the middle of everything. Then, Sunday, she started getting fidgety again--getting up every 5 minutes and you can't get anything done or go to the bathroom--because, "she doesn't like to be surprised". Said I didn't tell her "people were coming". "People" come every Sunday for dinner in the form of my daughter and her fiance. Past Sunday I also had a cg to help me with Mother so I could fix the big deal prime rib thing which she "yucked about". She was AWFUL. I think I just vented, and I feel bad about it, but SHE WAS AWFUL. But it didn't spoil anything. We are floating above the circumstances on God's Grace. Thank you, Friends. Have a great day!
Bobbie, I think you're onto something with the intervention idea, whatya say we put together a group of all you ex-caregivers and send them around the country to kick some sibling a**?!? !
Rick and Dave: One was a Pr!*k and the other a Knave. that's all I got ssk. still somewhat early.
I do agree with Linda. Tell them that without a break you are going to have to place your mother, it's not open for discussion. Why women get enslaved with this sh!! is actually not a mystery. We are compassionate and the a$$holes trade on that. they trade on knowing that we wouldn't harm our charges to make a point. We just have to make them THINK that we would pop them into a facility and walk away. Hard Core and Stressful. they trade on the fact that you get so depressed that all you can do is keep doing what you're doing which is not good for you. Almost need an Intervention!
You know how they post pictures of Deadbeat Dads for not paying Child support? wouldn't that be amusing, posting pics of deadbeat sibs... Like Rodney King said: why can't everybody just get along?
Happy bday True!
Thanks for the compliments you guys! You guys make me happy that I was born! All I can say is Thank God for all of you, because I think that we all make a pretty good team.
Tenny! Lil Tenny! glad you guys are here! i remember something about that comment a long time ago, Who was it? are they still here? omg...was it me?? no wait, I wasn't a Greenhorn... call me and tell me!
i almost bought a t shirt on Discovery.com that said: Pipe Down Greenhorn! i'm a sucker for all things Deadliest Catch but can't see spending $$ on a t shirt when you can get them at the thrift store for a buck a piece. (of course there the t-shirt always have something fun like 1984 Special Olympics.... which I would wear proudly. I'm waiting for the Deadliest Catch DVDs (seasons 1 through 4) to go on sale. Then my collection will be complete! I have Seasons 5 & 6, har har. That's still my boat fantasy. i would like to get some driving lessons from one of the Captains. I don't want the Time Bandit guys or Captain Sig because they think all the women are after them so i think I would like Captain Kieth from the Wizard because he's a nice family man and it looks like he doesn't get confused about that kind of stuff. Or maybe Wild Bill from the Kodiak, he looks like he knows the pointy end from the back porch. OK, enough boat driving fantasy.
Kuli! how goes it this am? did you tell your buttwipe boyfriend to knock it off? So I thought that I heard that he was a pecker doctor? I wouldn't want to stand around and fiddle with peckers all day, I do know that. I do have to admit that I am not impressed by doctors. I think it's the 'god syndrome' that they adapt and everybody else is supposed to fall in line. Forgive me if that's not his case but i do hope he washes his hands after a full day of pecker fiddling.
Deef! any rest yet for the weary?
Everybody is suffering through obtuse relatives! Here's one, if I may. Tomorrow's my Birthday and me being an arrogant jackass, why don't we make it: Cap Bob's Just Say No Day. Charges are kept clean and fed and THAT'S IT! That's Enough!
Jen, you watch how fast your mother will spend your GF's $$. She's getting good dose of what it's all about and there will be some help on the horizon. What's he going to do with it anyway? Buy a condo? That's the point is to have $$ to take care of your own ass and those WHO CARE FOR YOU!!! If you don't take care of those who take care of you, what's going to happen to YOU?? I am somewhat mystified as to why this is not understood by the idiot family members. It's not their money, it's for the old guy and those who wipe his ass! Want some money? wipe some ass! easy peasy.
ah pa s fast sleep ! changed him in bed and got me a clothe diaper and smear glob of vick staff on it and tuck it in his neck , bam he went to sleep ! he loves the smell of vick staff . for years he would sniff that tube thing , tuck it in his front pocket and pull that thing out sniff sniff . waiting for hubb y to come home with nyquill and dayquill . then i ll go from there . hate to drag him out in this cold and just to hear ER dr says oh he has a cold . but then better safe than sorry , damn if i do damn if i dont . ill see how he is thru out the day . christina ; bobbie s birthday is tmr . to me its her birthday everyday ! party up on the dock everyday ! damn i wanna party with her , i think ibetter get in the tub and get cleaned up and zoom around here do some cleaning , oh crap i need pay my bills too grrrrr they never end ! they just keep a comin ! you all have a wonderful day and i ll ck in again later . xoxo
ps if u do take lit tenny to dr , make sure u wash ur hands realy good when u get ready to leave doc s office and try not to touch anything in there , dont sit next to whos coughin or looks deathly ill . bring a scarf so u can wrap that around ur mouth , both of you . i know i hate going to doc s office ,. even hospitals . wish doc makes housecalls , shit ! miss those good ole days . hope tenny gets to feel better . xoox
SSK, Time for you to TAKE some control. In order to do the job your doing, you need it. I've mentioned before that I was lucky enough to find out about a little known secret within the Area Agency on Aging. In my state (NC), The have a postition with the title "Caregiver Resource Specialist", I called her up, she drove 75 miles to meet me in my town and we sat together in a coffee shop because she said she didn't want the distraction of my mom around (She got 5 points from me for that right off the bat!) As i started to tell her all about the situation at home and mom's needs she stopped me cold, and said "I don't care about your mom. I'm here for you. What can i do for YOU?" (15 points) Anyway, long story short, She made me feel so much more in charge of the whole thing as well as in charge of my own life. After two comfortable enjoyable hours with her, I felt that I had an ally against the world, AND she hooked me up with $1000.00 worth of respite care vouchers that I could use however I see fit. $1000.00. That is the money I will be using to put mom in the best care facility in this area for a full week while I try to get my head together. I stopped begging my brother for help. stopped hoping my sister will find a shred of decency and give the money that my father had left me, and I'm determined now to be the one running this ship come hell or high water. We, as caregivers, have very little legal authority other than when to wipe asses, and the only way to turn that around is for US to start making some noise and DEMANDING the respect and deference we NEED to do this job correctly. You know that if your mom isn't officially "Incompetent", she can change her POA anytime she wants. You, WE, don't have the luxury to pander to self-important siblings or others that have no frikking clue what this is all about. We have an incredible amount of serious, life-altering priorities to keep straight and we make extraordinary personal sacrifices to do it. It is just NOT acceptable, in any situation, to be expected to take on the liabilty of this responsibilty without being given the complete authority to carry out that responsibilty.
Sorry if I'm ranting again, but this is obviously a hot-button issue for me. Please check with the area agency on aging, try the national family caregivers assoc., and anything else you can think of and remember that in this particular issue, YOU are the one that should be focused on, Love you.
It's Bobbie's birthday? A very Happy Capricorn Birthday, Bobbie!! The Mountain Goat: determined (oh, yea) sure-footed, practical, HUMOROUS, PATIENT, CARING. they seem very old when they're young, and VERY YOUNG WHEN THEY'RE OLD!!! Yay, you're getting younger and immature, Bobbie! My kind of girl!! Have a great day!! Love and Hugs, Christina
tennessee, my doc's office makes people wear those masks that cover the mouth and nose if they have flu-like symptoms. Maybe that's the case with your doc too. I'm sure it would at least cut down on stuff you could catch there.
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i remmy my gfriend told me she watch a show , dont remmy the name of it , said all bro and sis gathered around and talked about what to do with thier dad , all says im busy i have a job and i have a life blah blah blah . a daughter in law is divorced from that man s son , she sat there and listen to all thier excuses and shook her head and the dad sat there with his head down , sad man . she stood up and said i know im just the in law ex , may i have any say so in this , they all said yeah , she told them that they ought to be ashame of themself ! and she is willing to take care of him till to the end ,
she did and has no regrets .
amazin a large family and no one would take him . thats pathaitc . that old man lived happy and died happy .
so sad .
why don't you put some of that expensive lotion on your sister's salad at lunch....? then she can get some use out of it too.
Whatta sna!ch.
Vent on kiddo. There are many of us on this thread that are caring for or have cared for people who treated us very badly.
I wa very lucky because even though my mom and I had an awful, secret keeping past (which I always wondered about, as in: what's the big deal?) we grew very very close. I had never stopped loving her or my daddy even when I didn't understand why they were being so mean and I am happy that we were able to be together. Mental Illness sux, whether it's BPD or any garden variety anxiety disorder or what ever.
No one is as selfish as the mentally ill. It's always all about them.
OK, enough about me..... what do you think of me? har har
btw, you can't over indulge in venting. If you make the comparison of a human being and a tea kettle, when it gets to a certain point, the pressure MUST be released or the tea kettle and everything around it will be severely damaged.
vent on
I think that I told you folks that with my background I really had only 2 choices for work.
1. Serial Killer
2. Comedian
Both require victims........
lovbob
I kid you not, people. I thought there was a real frickin' Cinderella out there when I was a child--I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF US! My perspective is so AWESOME these days, that I am amused so much of the time when I am not P---ED OFF.
When I am not amused, I am amazed, then the jaw drops, and I give myself away. Today, I will wait for her to ask, "What's for lunch?", and I will casually say, "Oh, I thought you were taking us out to lunch for the holidays." I asked her in an email last week if she would come for 3 or 4 days to stay with Mother while my husband and I got a break, before she leaves her winter town for her summer town( here's a barf bag), and she has not answered me yet. I thought, today, when we are all having lunch--at the restaurant, HA!--I will ask her in front of God, my Mother and the caregiver if she has decided when she can come to stay with Mother. The anticipation is killing me, and I think it's making my shoulder feel better. What do you think?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ALL the birthday girls--if I had known I would have baked a red velvet cake for everyone!
Oh, one more vent-type of true story, then I'm through.( I'm starting to feel like I have over-indulged): My Mother gave me one--uno-1 birthday party when I was 6 years old. That was the only party I ever had until my husband gave me one for my 53rd BD in 04. She took 2 pianos away from me before I was 21,( the last one right about the time my Dad committed suicide) and forced me into early therapy when I was 28. It took me until I was 50 to realize she is a Narcissicist and a Passive Aggressive. I am a slow learner. I kept thinking and believing there was something wrong with me. My sister helped. Now, I rise above all the years of their selfish crap and do the RIGHT THING. Like a lot of you are doing--believe me, I KNOW IT, YOU PRECIOUS SOULS. EVERY ONE OF YOU.
Thank you, again, I guess I was really fed up with the holidays and Perry Como singing in the background, and things got to me. Thank you for your generous gift--Joe, staff, Bobbie, all my new friends--and the ones who think I'm an idiot, too.
Love, Christina
dad had fell off the recliner and laid on the floor all night long till he got enuff strenght to pull himself up . my sis said why didnt u call ! he said ahh didnt want to bother anybody , but i knew deep inside that he thought the same thing ur dad did .
those mini strokes kept hittin him like fireworks . sis left fla and moved back to texas , dr told my bro he s gotta go living assist place or live iwth someone , oh my gosh all hell broke lose .
thats when i step in and got him out of the living assist place , hell i wouldnt mind livin there ! it was a nice place . but dad wouldnt have that , he rather be with me .
now i see yep i rather be with my families too .
pa still sick , he s mumblin jumblin , amkeepin an eye on him , waiting for my daughter to come home and tell me what she thinks ....
love,
miz
Saran on the toilet seat....you wicked girl.!
My old tomcat used to loooove to be vaccumed....cannister type not upright! He would even roll over in order to get both sides. The boy we have now attacks the brush unless you give him big love while brushing...I need to be an octopus!
Thank you Ted for the info on Area Aging etc. Mom is in hosp again & her doc is not helping at all. Just a cash cow to him. I tried to explain the "cry wolf" thing to mom...the same story she told me as a child but it didn't register. Not much does anymore. She & I had a blow up just before Christmas & yesterday I wen in and forgave her..she forgave me too. This is a huge deal after 15 yrs of torture from her. I so need to get a real geriatric evaluation for her. I can't give her the attention she needs & she can no longer live alone. I don't understand why this has to be such a battle. When she is unable (mentally)or unwilling to press the button on her personal alarm to summon help & chooses to lay there until another tenant passes by & hears her screaming (getting the whole building involved) then you would think it's obvious, but no.
I know the drama will end some day, but I need help now & I can't bring myself to give her over to the state guardianship even though she seems to intend to kill me.
I thank GOD for HIS grace & mercy.
I'm here because YOU GUYS are the Heros!!
Tenny, that was very nice. You guys are so nice to me.
Other than that, I'm sitting here flicking Cat hair off the computer and am thinking about maybe today's the day I try to Vacuum the Cat.
love you guys!
Miz! force yourself to do something fun today!
Put some saran wrap on the toilet bowl so your husband can get a surprise!! hard to see in a dimly lit room.
clean up is worth it because of the laughing.
lovbob
this is just in case i am not home
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
AND MANY MORE
you supply the music
lov you
elizabeth
It like waiting for geological time to pass to get anything up and running like I just pitched, but it CAN be done.
let me see what I can do.
I'm losing my mind on discovery
Drooling over the Deadliest Catch DVDs..
lovbob
IT,'S MY PARTY AND I 'LL CRY IF I WANT TO........
rip
i can only speak for me but my mom always mad sure my birthday was special and not that christmas was anything less than special i always had my birthday presents seperate and i had just as many of them as i did christmas presents.
i am sure that it was harder on my mom but she made sure that if i got one present for christmas ,i got one present for my birthday which was usually what we got cause we did not get tons of presents under the tree lik i see my kids try to do for their kids. i did not do it with my kids caus i could not afford it either.
i also had cake and ice cream and we sang happy birthday.
now i have heard a lot of peopl that have had it hard on their birthdays but my mom always mad mine special and i also have a grandchild that has a birthday before christmas and i try to encourage the my daughter makes it special for her.
i assume bobbie's birthday is special for her also.
mom and i are going to the coast today my back is alright i hop it hold up we going to do a little shoping for my birthday and maybe som playing will talk to yall later
love yall and thak yall for all the birthday cards and birthday wishes yall sent
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxo
The 'gift' was given by Joe, the creator of this site.
He and the staff provided a forum and didn't edit me.
That's the GIFT!!
thanks again Joe and Staff!!
lovbob
yes, that is why i did it because i had a sneaking suspicion that IF it was GROSS and AWFUL and people were HATEFUL to me, THOUSANDS of other people were going through the same thing.
I am not so self centered as to think that I was the only one.
Secrets will make you Sick.
Dysfunctional family members are counting on that, too. to keep you from speaking up.
Thanks for the Capricorn info that TrueColors aka Elizabeth and I share, Christina!
So if I have it right, I'm an immature old goat? sounds ok... True, whaddya think? lol
Yes, Ted, there could be an awakening of the depressed caregiver with an Intervention!
Worst nightmare. Me showing up on sibs front porch with a camera crew.
Pull the Investigative reporter routine.
"Why have you abandoned your mother and put your sister into poverty?"
worse yet, follow the deadbeat sibs to a restaurant where they're having a grand old time while mom and sis are home eating macaroni.
don't get me started.
OR go ahead and get me started.
I can tell that I'm getting stronger:
I want to start something.
lovbob
love,
miz
I think I just vented, and I feel bad about it, but SHE WAS AWFUL. But it didn't spoil anything. We are floating above the circumstances on God's Grace. Thank you, Friends. Have a great day!
!
One was a Pr!*k and the other a Knave.
that's all I got ssk. still somewhat early.
I do agree with Linda. Tell them that without a break you are going to have to place your mother, it's not open for discussion.
Why women get enslaved with this sh!! is actually not a mystery. We are compassionate and the a$$holes trade on that. they trade on knowing that we wouldn't harm our charges to make a point.
We just have to make them THINK that we would pop them into a facility and walk away. Hard Core and Stressful.
they trade on the fact that you get so depressed that all you can do is keep doing what you're doing which is not good for you. Almost need an Intervention!
You know how they post pictures of Deadbeat Dads for not paying Child support? wouldn't that be amusing, posting pics of deadbeat sibs...
Like Rodney King said: why can't everybody just get along?
Happy bday True!
Thanks for the compliments you guys!
You guys make me happy that I was born!
All I can say is Thank God for all of you, because I think that we all make a pretty good team.
Tenny! Lil Tenny! glad you guys are here! i remember something about that comment a long time ago, Who was it? are they still here? omg...was it me?? no wait, I wasn't a Greenhorn... call me and tell me!
i almost bought a t shirt on Discovery.com that said:
Pipe Down Greenhorn!
i'm a sucker for all things Deadliest Catch but can't see spending $$ on a t shirt when you can get them at the thrift store for a buck a piece. (of course there the t-shirt always have something fun like 1984 Special Olympics.... which I would wear proudly.
I'm waiting for the Deadliest Catch DVDs (seasons 1 through 4) to go on sale. Then my collection will be complete! I have Seasons 5 & 6, har har.
That's still my boat fantasy. i would like to get some driving lessons from one of the Captains.
I don't want the Time Bandit guys or Captain Sig because they think all the women are after them so i think I would like Captain Kieth from the Wizard because he's a nice family man and it looks like he doesn't get confused about that kind of stuff.
Or maybe Wild Bill from the Kodiak, he looks like he knows the pointy end from the back porch.
OK, enough boat driving fantasy.
Kuli! how goes it this am? did you tell your buttwipe boyfriend to knock it off? So I thought that I heard that he was a pecker doctor? I wouldn't want to stand around and fiddle with peckers all day, I do know that. I do have to admit that I am not impressed by doctors. I think it's the 'god syndrome' that they adapt and everybody else is supposed to fall in line.
Forgive me if that's not his case but i do hope he washes his hands after a full day of pecker fiddling.
Deef! any rest yet for the weary?
Everybody is suffering through obtuse relatives!
Here's one, if I may.
Tomorrow's my Birthday and me being an arrogant jackass, why don't we make it: Cap Bob's Just Say No Day.
Charges are kept clean and fed and THAT'S IT!
That's Enough!
Jen, you watch how fast your mother will spend your GF's $$. She's getting good dose of what it's all about and there will be some help on the horizon. What's he going to do with it anyway? Buy a condo? That's the point is to have $$ to take care of your own ass and those WHO CARE FOR YOU!!!
If you don't take care of those who take care of you, what's going to happen to YOU??
I am somewhat mystified as to why this is not understood by the idiot family members.
It's not their money, it's for the old guy and those who wipe his ass! Want some money? wipe some ass! easy peasy.
more disjointed ranting later,
lovbob
waiting for hubb y to come home with nyquill and dayquill . then i ll go from there . hate to drag him out in this cold and just to hear ER dr says oh he has a cold . but then better safe than sorry , damn if i do damn if i dont . ill see how he is thru out the day .
christina ; bobbie s birthday is tmr . to me its her birthday everyday ! party up on the dock everyday ! damn i wanna party with her ,
i think ibetter get in the tub and get cleaned up and zoom around here do some cleaning , oh crap i need pay my bills too grrrrr they never end ! they just keep a comin !
you all have a wonderful day and i ll ck in again later . xoxo
ps if u do take lit tenny to dr , make sure u wash ur hands realy good when u get ready to leave doc s office and try not to touch anything in there , dont sit next to whos coughin or looks deathly ill . bring a scarf so u can wrap that around ur mouth , both of you . i know i hate going to doc s office ,. even hospitals . wish doc makes housecalls , shit ! miss those good ole days . hope tenny gets to feel better . xoox
I've mentioned before that I was lucky enough to find out about a little known secret within the Area Agency on Aging. In my state (NC), The have a postition with the title "Caregiver Resource Specialist", I called her up, she drove 75 miles to meet me in my town and we sat together in a coffee shop because she said she didn't want the distraction of my mom around (She got 5 points from me for that right off the bat!)
As i started to tell her all about the situation at home and mom's needs she stopped me cold, and said "I don't care about your mom. I'm here for you. What can i do for YOU?" (15 points)
Anyway, long story short, She made me feel so much more in charge of the whole thing as well as in charge of my own life. After two comfortable enjoyable hours with her, I felt that I had an ally against the world, AND she hooked me up with $1000.00 worth of respite care vouchers that I could use however I see fit. $1000.00. That is the money I will be using to put mom in the best care facility in this area for a full week while I try to get my head together. I stopped begging my brother for help. stopped hoping my sister will find a shred of decency and give the money that my father had left me, and I'm determined now to be the one running this ship come hell or high water.
We, as caregivers, have very little legal authority other than when to wipe asses, and the only way to turn that around is for US to start making some noise and DEMANDING the respect and deference we NEED to do this job correctly.
You know that if your mom isn't officially "Incompetent", she can change her POA anytime she wants.
You, WE, don't have the luxury to pander to self-important siblings or others that have no frikking clue what this is all about. We have an incredible amount of serious, life-altering priorities to keep straight and we make extraordinary personal sacrifices to do it.
It is just NOT acceptable, in any situation, to be expected to take on the liabilty of this responsibilty without being given the complete authority to carry out that responsibilty.
Sorry if I'm ranting again, but this is obviously a hot-button issue for me. Please check with the area agency on aging, try the national family caregivers assoc., and anything else you can think of and remember that in this particular issue, YOU are the one that should be focused on, Love you.
The Mountain Goat: determined (oh, yea) sure-footed, practical, HUMOROUS, PATIENT, CARING. they seem very old when they're young, and VERY YOUNG WHEN THEY'RE OLD!!!
Yay, you're getting younger and immature, Bobbie! My kind of girl!!
Have a great day!! Love and Hugs, Christina