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I'd be happy if my $hit made number 2. That would be so fitting.
Since this TP resistant line of pooh-smack began here. It is only fitting that I give a shout out to GROSSED and the crew of the BB. However that helps it would be awesome.
More caregivers need to know that venting keeps the lid from blowing off your crapper.
I still wonder....is it too soon for this type of humor to be funny? Elder home care is still becoming a baby boomer phenomena. Is the world ready to point and laugh at this silly-sh*t?
HB...you got it....unlike pain meds or benzos that can have a "quick fix" this takes a little time to build up in the system and do it's magic.
Bought a new "undies pail" to put in col bathroom....she actually changed herself yesterday.....I think she just wanted to play with the little "trap door" on the top...:) Saw last night that she had put herself to bed but bedroom light was still on, so went down and there she is lying on her back sound asleep, but I notice something odd about her face....but if I get too near she might wake up..:O.....so I creep around the bed and turn off the light and DAMN it speaks....so I creep a little closer....she has face cream in HUGE globs on her forehead, eyes, hanging out of her nose, on her chin.....I finally had to get a tissue to wipe it off.....it wasn't absorbing.....my hands were nice and soft though.....:)
I finally raised the white flag yesterday after finding more bologna lying around everywhere. Told her I would continue to push meds down doggie's throat when he is infected, but I will no longer work to get some weight off of him since she is non-compliant.....he probably has diabetes due to the weight...and who knows whether the tumor on his butt is malignant or not....but it is all up to her. I said if the tumor is malignant he will die from that.....if it isn't and he has diabetes he will eventually die from that.....you're the boss applesauce, his care depends on whether or not you want him to live. We will see what happens.....end result is that they are so devoted to each other that when she goes I am sure he will follow....his little heart would be so broken.
Mascara Saga.......she agreed to brown yesterday....won't last long and she will be back to whining about black....but now she has added something new to her list......she wants a self-tanner! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm going to start a poll...what do you think she will think of next?
Need I remind you...pooping is a process. Not that I am straining or breaking a sweat...pooh seems to be my native medium of communication. There is so much fiber and content in my pooh-muse that I can't stop. I am experiencing channeling....I must be very open to tapping into the energy of all the poohs great and small that have gone before us.
It must be all the exposure I have to it these days. *sigh*
Ted..you and I in a bar would just be a deadly mix of sh*t-swappin joke-meisters. You sir feed my potty humor!
Jam: So this is a medicine that builds up to a titrated level in the bloodstream to be effective? If so, that explains why a single or few beginning doses are not effective at the onset of treatment.
LaDeeda: Slipped on a banana peel...OMGz you are as bad as I am. Keep laughing darling...you are bananas.
Yes our storm passed without incident. AND YES...YES...YES!...the chocolate was divine...smooth, silky, and VERY creamy baby *winks*....(I think I need a cig now)
So the question...what is HB doing with pooh?
I am working on an official transcript for the Pooh-Doo Chronicles. If you find my ramblings funny let me know. When the revised edition is ready I'll send my friends here a copy. If you'd like to spread my pooh, I don't care if you do, but credit to the aspiring sh*t scribbler and her italian translator would be appreciated. I'm still trying to figure out this writing thing. It would be hilarious for this crap to go viral.
I'm still banging my head thinking that I'm becoming associated with scat. But is is very funny.
Ladeeda I am so sorry for what you had to take from that violent women -they can get be so strong-when I was young I got a job in a psych hospital and a little old lady shook the life out of me for telling her no about something-never forgot it-it probably will take some time for the meds to start working if the dumb sil read the info that comes with the meds he would know that-I hope she runs them raged-I would not wait too long to ask them if they are going to pay for your medicial bills or do you need to go to legal aide that should get them thinking. Miz if the mold is the house on short sale I would make sure the bank or whoever owns the house gets the mold taken care-one of my neighbors is selling his house on short sale and his wife said it will take at least 1 and 1/2 yrs to complete the sale and there house is in great condition so they will have plenty of time to get that mold out and you want it inspected before you buy it. Ted glad you are doing better sounds like you have your ducks in a row and hopefuly the sister is back in NY and has things to keep her from trying to mess with you.
Good Morning all, just wanted ya'll to know I really slipped on a banana peel, none of the previous was true.... Feeling better this morning, getting to stay off my leg has helped alot, better than standing on my head I guess. Nothing has been said yet about them paying for or even helping with the bills about to come in.It was a tad crazy for them yesterday, , daughter told me Ruth fell 3 times yesterday, and I could hear her screaming at Ruth all the way over here. So we will see what happens today, I am willing to give them a few days to see if they are going to pay for this or expect me to... But I am getting rest , sleep, and solitude, at least for a day or two. Ted, happy to hear you are feeling more secure about your situation. And loved your play on words. all humor helps at this point.And you are right, you will be stronger than before. Post the monkeys and machine guns in the yard and rest this weekend.. HB, hope the storm passed without any damage. How was the chocolate? Soothing to your soul I hope. We'll worry about the hips and thighs later.. Miz, great news about the house.,Thanks for the hug yesterday, that and the drugs helped me alot...Still praying for you and all your family. PPJ Welcome to our home. We are a crazy bunch but full of love and support for one another. Hope to hear from you often. Oh by the way, daughter got generic Risperadol (sp) gave her one in the throes of her craziness yesterday and swears it does not work..Ok she is a moron, the sil asked me today to ask you all that are giving Resperidal (sp) when do ya'll administer, how often, ect. How cool is that that he trusts my friends on AC....so answers would be greatly appreciated.. To everyone else, my heart is full for all of you. Make the best of the craziness, let's love each other, support and laugh. More later after my very own Vicadin (sp) nap.. love you all
Good one cuz.........just at the right time for me....bad night, very little sleep....and no end in sight!!!!! But that made me laugh!!!! It's a good thng too.....as I'm seriously thinking how bad can a nursing home be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up thinking about mold. My house had some once, because a pipe in the basement had a pinhole leak which we didn't find for a while. Then, we had to change most of the copper pipes and get thicker ones, beacaue new leaks were appearing, esp around the wsher and the bathroom. We had well water there. That's cool, Ted, that the home you and Mom renovated was on the cover of Southern living. ya, we were all crazy when the full moon arrived . I feel a little better about mom but now have to start planning what I will do next. I've been here since 2005, I think. I really just want to stay in present day to day and hope that I get the strength to deal with the changes when they arrive. Now I'm getting sad again, I'll have to go back and read more jokes and humor. HB, that's real talent for writing, so funny! Hi Jen, hope that job calls you back soon. hi to all, ssk
Howdy all Just checked over what i missed and I'm beginning to think that Linda is right about the moon, there seems to be a pattern here when a lot of our lives start spinning out of control around the same time. Let's hope it will all calm down now for a while. Mine has, the visit with the lawyer was reassuring and I haven't heard anything from thief since. But for the last day or so I've been in a sort of vacuum and i'm just trying to get back to where I was Monday. I'll be ok my friends, and hopefully I'll be even stronger for it.
Bobbie, Man you impress me more and more the more I get to know ya! I used to do a little historic home restoration myself, (buy'em cheap, fix 'em up, sell'em high, The last one Mom and i did, -that's right "MOM and I" -made the cover of Southern Living Magizine!) But I would have walked away from a serious mold problem, or burned it down.
Ladee Chiquita! Take a break! (no pun intended) Tell the family you're taking a week or two off and come see me, or bobbie or any one of us. We''l fix ya up and get ya ready to go back into battle, and it'll give the new meds time to kick in! (again, no pun intended)
Okay, I'm gonna try to stay offline for a while today, It doesn't mean anything in my daily life but for some reason on the weekends I can relax a little, leftover from life in the real world I guess.
HB, this is great. I can translate it, it's my job!!!!! Do you mind if I send the translation (of all the list of poops) to my cousin and some friends? No copyrights?
Jsome: Sorry you aren't feeling well. Stress can give you a belly ache. We care hon. Hope you feel better soon. If you sent in resume for job, don't be afraid to call to express your interest in the position. Employers like that. Of course that is bust if they didn't give you a phone number.
Another special request for an addition to the Pooh Chronicles
Shout out to Rosella and Daniella
31) The snowball poop: This is the fecal flyer of the poop world. This poop is not a joyful winter distraction lofted through the air by playful, laughing children. This arial menace is a biological WAR WEAPON that is wielded with unnatural precision by its maker when faced with unpleasant hygiene tasks such as hair washing and showering. This crap can be tossed to distract the unsuspecting caregiver, or fired with deadly accuracy to knock the caregiver out of commission. The target of such an attack can expect a painful strike or a sticky, smelly, smear all resulting in delay of shower or bathing activity for the maker of the pooh-doo. Caregivers who receive advanced training in snowball evasion techniques are best equipped to deal with this air combat projectile. Also known as Monkey Flung-Doo or Sling-shot-Sh*t.
I have no idea how that will translate into Italian but I hope you enjoy the description. It is longer than the other Pooh-doos but I could twist that so many more ways! Thanks for the suggestion.
Have had stomach pain for two days now, eat, don't eat, change position, try to sleep, Tylenol, gas X, Pepto Bismol nothing. Thinking it is stress and worry lodged into a gut ball...Why care.
Been a week, should I have heard back for job interview?
G went to Adult Day Health, goes too late comes home too early and even mom is tired of him...I can tell...She now gets him breakfast and eats after he is done...Yes it wasn't really a bag o fun here ma these last four years!
Our foot of over night snow is now set in place by temps of below zero for a while. March coming in like a lion this year I guess...
Hi to new friends and old, hope everyone gets some peace and rest where ever they are...
Ladeeda: Some time off is good. Are you going to have to have surgery for that knee or did they say it would heal by itself? I liked Bobbie's way of thinking. Hope the families liability insurance is going to pay for your medical and they give you paid time off. I'd venture a guess and say you are no match for Ruth in your current condition. I worry about you trying to take care of that one. Check back in when you can!
Rossella: I hope you are able to do what you need to do so you can bring home the money and get restorative rest when you do sleep. You have the right attitude and you know your body's limitations. You have a wonderful caring spirit.
The wind outside seems to have calmed down some and we are getting ready to go to bed, surprisingly early. I'm feeling a bit headachey tonight and could use a bit more rest.
Hopefully everyone else will get some rest as well. Love and hugs all around. HB
Hi everybody I am working a lot these days and I need it because I have to pay lots of bills. I can't work like this forever because I am sleeping really too little and sooner or later 1) my health will suffer from it 2) I will start to make horrible translations and I will lose my clients. I can stand it just one or two more weeks. I read all your posts, though, and I am very sorry for those of you who are having a very difficult time. I am glad that HB is going to have a very good time soon in India, I am very worried for you, Ladeeda. I saw it coming... Will those assholes of her relatives understand, now? Otherwise, Ladeeda, the world is full of old people who need help and you can find another one who is less dangerous. I understand you are fond of Ruth, but Ruth is ready for a specialized structure or a good and sound medical treatment . Your life is at stake now, think of your life first! Bobbie I am sincerely admired that you fought the mould by yourself! Sometimes it is much better we take care of our own business. Georgia, Deef, Christina, thank you for always remembering and saying a good word to everyone. Ted I have thought of the reasons why your sister suddenly appeared and kidnapped your mother. I think the explanation is very simple, she wanted to see her in your absence to assess her conditions and see how she is, how long she will live, and she tried to understand if she can get more money from it. I think it is as simple as that. Did I mention already that when money is involved people get crazy? Wally's mom: (sorry I don't remember your name but I remember the name of yr dog because we had a dog named Valentino and we called him Wally)... Wally is BEAUTIFUL and I am so glad you found him and you can hug him and be happy. I have 4 dogs and many cats. Linda: I am glad pa is better; try to think that when the moment comes you have done your very, very best for him! Miz I am sorry for Hubby's mom and I hope you find good solutions for the new house. I agree with Rip, it's better to have your hours cut than lose your job. Jam, yes, no use arguing with COL. Her mind is gone... I really hope you can have some rest because it seems to me you really need it. I mean, you are fighting battles which are already lost. I am fighting with my mother's full moon, too, and I am trying to find the right dosage of antidepressant. She wakes up in the middle of the night and it's difficult to put her back to bed.
A kiss to all the other ones I did not mention. I am glad I have to translate from english to italian and not the other way round... Ladeeda please give us news. I am worried
Sorry to keep anyone waiting, got back from ER, took a pain pill and slept. The verdict is Tibial Eminence Fracture. I just started weeping. I am already so tired, so frustrated with family, and did not know how the family was going to receive this news. To make that long boring story short, I could hear the daughter screaming at her when I went to smoke. I am wheeling around in her wheelchair, as can put no pressure on my right foot, so other than having to get my back scratcher to reach things and turn on lights, I am happy as a clam.Ya'll know that is not true.. I am in pain, thank God for Happy Pills, and am not up for all the bitching I am hearing about what all Ruth is doing. Well welcome to my world ya hussy....Anyway thanks to all for well wishes, and now I am off to the next great adventure, At least I get the next few days to myself. Hope they remember to bring food sometimes.... Guess I could send you all a SOS and you could call the local deli, maybe they will deliver... Love ya'll , more later after some much needed rest...
A cold front is sweeping the Maryland area causing downed trees and scattered power outages. Our power has flickered several times since the high winds began to blow around 2:00pm (est). We are expecting winds upwards to 60-70mph which is significant. The wind sounds like a roaring train, you can really hear it blasting past the house.
Grandma is freaking out over the branches bouncing up and down and all the noise. My mother has now swept back into the house to feed grandma's anxiety about the wind and power outages with a heaping helping of her own. It is the recipe for the perfect anxiety-sh*t-storm.
I'm going downstairs to my lair to make chocolate pudding and climb into bed. I'm just tired of all the anxious activity and need to recoup my balance. Some time with the covers pulled over my head may help. If that doesn't work the chocolate should ;-)
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Since this TP resistant line of pooh-smack began here. It is only fitting that I give a shout out to GROSSED and the crew of the BB. However that helps it would be awesome.
More caregivers need to know that venting keeps the lid from blowing off your crapper.
I still wonder....is it too soon for this type of humor to be funny? Elder home care is still becoming a baby boomer phenomena. Is the world ready to point and laugh at this silly-sh*t?
Ponders pooh....
HB
Bought a new "undies pail" to put in col bathroom....she actually changed herself yesterday.....I think she just wanted to play with the little "trap door" on the top...:) Saw last night that she had put herself to bed but bedroom light was still on, so went down and there she is lying on her back sound asleep, but I notice something odd about her face....but if I get too near she might wake up..:O.....so I creep around the bed and turn off the light and DAMN it speaks....so I creep a little closer....she has face cream in HUGE globs on her forehead, eyes, hanging out of her nose, on her chin.....I finally had to get a tissue to wipe it off.....it wasn't absorbing.....my hands were nice and soft though.....:)
I finally raised the white flag yesterday after finding more bologna lying around everywhere. Told her I would continue to push meds down doggie's throat when he is infected, but I will no longer work to get some weight off of him since she is non-compliant.....he probably has diabetes due to the weight...and who knows whether the tumor on his butt is malignant or not....but it is all up to her. I said if the tumor is malignant he will die from that.....if it isn't and he has diabetes he will eventually die from that.....you're the boss applesauce, his care depends on whether or not you want him to live. We will see what happens.....end result is that they are so devoted to each other that when she goes I am sure he will follow....his little heart would be so broken.
Mascara Saga.......she agreed to brown yesterday....won't last long and she will be back to whining about black....but now she has added something new to her list......she wants a self-tanner! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm going to start a poll...what do you think she will think of next?
Love and Hugz to all of you!!!!!!!
It must be all the exposure I have to it these days. *sigh*
Ted..you and I in a bar would just be a deadly mix of sh*t-swappin joke-meisters. You sir feed my potty humor!
I guess you found your plot, or is it plop.
Ok, I'll stop, but i want to remind you that I already put in my order for your first release, what date does the book drop?
LaDeeda: Slipped on a banana peel...OMGz you are as bad as I am. Keep laughing darling...you are bananas.
Yes our storm passed without incident. AND YES...YES...YES!...the chocolate was divine...smooth, silky, and VERY creamy baby *winks*....(I think I need a cig now)
So the question...what is HB doing with pooh?
I am working on an official transcript for the Pooh-Doo Chronicles. If you find my ramblings funny let me know. When the revised edition is ready I'll send my friends here a copy. If you'd like to spread my pooh, I don't care if you do, but credit to the aspiring sh*t scribbler and her italian translator would be appreciated. I'm still trying to figure out this writing thing. It would be hilarious for this crap to go viral.
I'm still banging my head thinking that I'm becoming associated with scat. But is is very funny.
Love n stuff
Pooh-picaso...HB
Feeling better this morning, getting to stay off my leg has helped alot, better than standing on my head I guess. Nothing has been said yet about them paying for or even helping with the bills about to come in.It was a tad crazy for them yesterday, , daughter told me Ruth fell 3 times yesterday, and I could hear her screaming at Ruth all the way over here. So we will see what happens today, I am willing to give them a few days to see if they are going to pay for this or expect me to... But I am
getting rest , sleep, and solitude, at least for a day or two.
Ted, happy to hear you are feeling more secure about your situation. And loved your play on words. all humor helps at this point.And you are right, you will be stronger than before. Post the monkeys and machine guns in the yard and rest this weekend..
HB, hope the storm passed without any damage. How was the chocolate? Soothing to your soul I hope. We'll worry about the hips and thighs later..
Miz, great news about the house.,Thanks for the hug yesterday, that and the drugs helped me alot...Still praying for you and all your family.
PPJ Welcome to our home. We are a crazy bunch but full of love and support for one another. Hope to hear from you often.
Oh by the way, daughter got generic Risperadol (sp) gave her one in the throes of her craziness yesterday and swears it does not work..Ok she is a moron, the sil asked me today to ask you all that are giving Resperidal (sp) when do ya'll administer, how often, ect. How cool is that that he trusts my friends on AC....so answers would be greatly appreciated..
To everyone else, my heart is full for all of you. Make the best of the craziness, let's love each other, support and laugh. More later after my very own Vicadin (sp) nap.. love you all
That's cool, Ted, that the home you and Mom renovated was on the cover of Southern living. ya, we were all crazy when the full moon arrived . I feel a little better about mom but now have to start planning what I will do next. I've been here since 2005, I think. I really just want to stay in present day to day and hope that I get the strength to deal with the changes when they arrive.
Now I'm getting sad again, I'll have to go back and read more jokes and humor. HB, that's real talent for writing, so funny!
Hi Jen, hope that job calls you back soon.
hi to all, ssk
Just checked over what i missed and I'm beginning to think that Linda is right about the moon, there seems to be a pattern here when a lot of our lives start spinning out of control around the same time. Let's hope it will all calm down now for a while.
Mine has, the visit with the lawyer was reassuring and I haven't heard anything from thief since. But for the last day or so I've been in a sort of vacuum and i'm just trying to get back to where I was Monday. I'll be ok my friends, and hopefully I'll be even stronger for it.
Bobbie, Man you impress me more and more the more I get to know ya! I used to do a little historic home restoration myself, (buy'em cheap, fix 'em up, sell'em high, The last one Mom and i did, -that's right "MOM and I" -made the cover of Southern Living Magizine!) But I would have walked away from a serious mold problem, or burned it down.
Ladee Chiquita! Take a break! (no pun intended) Tell the family you're taking a week or two off and come see me, or bobbie or any one of us. We''l fix ya up and get ya ready to go back into battle, and it'll give the new meds time to kick in! (again, no pun intended)
Okay, I'm gonna try to stay offline for a while today, It doesn't mean anything in my daily life but for some reason on the weekends I can relax a little, leftover from life in the real world I guess.
PLEASE take care of YOURSELVES!
Do you mind if I send the translation (of all the list of poops) to my cousin and some friends? No copyrights?
Another special request for an addition to the Pooh Chronicles
Shout out to Rosella and Daniella
31) The snowball poop: This is the fecal flyer of the poop world. This poop is not a joyful winter distraction lofted through the air by playful, laughing children. This arial menace is a biological WAR WEAPON that is wielded with unnatural precision by its maker when faced with unpleasant hygiene tasks such as hair washing and showering. This crap can be tossed to distract the unsuspecting caregiver, or fired with deadly accuracy to knock the caregiver out of commission. The target of such an attack can expect a painful strike or a sticky, smelly, smear all resulting in delay of shower or bathing activity for the maker of the pooh-doo. Caregivers who receive advanced training in snowball evasion techniques are best equipped to deal with this air combat projectile. Also known as Monkey Flung-Doo or Sling-shot-Sh*t.
I have no idea how that will translate into Italian but I hope you enjoy the description. It is longer than the other Pooh-doos but I could twist that so many more ways! Thanks for the suggestion.
Night all!
Love n stuff
HB
S O M E T I M E S
Sometimes...
when you cry....
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes...
when you are in pain.
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes..
when you are worried..
no one sees your stress
Sometimes..
when you are happy..
no one sees your smile ..
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But FART !! just ONE time...
And everybody knows!!
Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!
Love you all Cuz
Have had stomach pain for two days now, eat, don't eat, change position, try to sleep, Tylenol, gas X, Pepto Bismol nothing. Thinking it is stress and worry lodged into a gut ball...Why care.
Been a week, should I have heard back for job interview?
G went to Adult Day Health, goes too late comes home too early and even mom is tired of him...I can tell...She now gets him breakfast and eats after he is done...Yes it wasn't really a bag o fun here ma these last four years!
Our foot of over night snow is now set in place by temps of below zero for a while. March coming in like a lion this year I guess...
Hi to new friends and old, hope everyone gets some peace and rest where ever they are...
Rossella: I hope you are able to do what you need to do so you can bring home the money and get restorative rest when you do sleep. You have the right attitude and you know your body's limitations. You have a wonderful caring spirit.
The wind outside seems to have calmed down some and we are getting ready to go to bed, surprisingly early. I'm feeling a bit headachey tonight and could use a bit more rest.
Hopefully everyone else will get some rest as well. Love and hugs all around.
HB
I read all your posts, though, and I am very sorry for those of you who are having a very difficult time. I am glad that HB is going to have a very good time soon in India, I am very worried for you, Ladeeda. I saw it coming... Will those assholes of her relatives understand, now? Otherwise, Ladeeda, the world is full of old people who need help and you can find another one who is less dangerous. I understand you are fond of Ruth, but Ruth is ready for a specialized structure or a good and sound medical treatment . Your life is at stake now, think of your life first!
Bobbie I am sincerely admired that you fought the mould by yourself! Sometimes it is much better we take care of our own business.
Georgia, Deef, Christina, thank you for always remembering and saying a good word to everyone.
Ted I have thought of the reasons why your sister suddenly appeared and kidnapped your mother. I think the explanation is very simple, she wanted to see her in your absence to assess her conditions and see how she is, how long she will live, and she tried to understand if she can get more money from it. I think it is as simple as that. Did I mention already that when money is involved people get crazy?
Wally's mom: (sorry I don't remember your name but I remember the name of yr dog because we had a dog named Valentino and we called him Wally)... Wally is BEAUTIFUL and I am so glad you found him and you can hug him and be happy. I have 4 dogs and many cats.
Linda: I am glad pa is better; try to think that when the moment comes you have done your very, very best for him!
Miz I am sorry for Hubby's mom and I hope you find good solutions for the new house. I agree with Rip, it's better to have your hours cut than lose your job.
Jam, yes, no use arguing with COL. Her mind is gone... I really hope you can have some rest because it seems to me you really need it. I mean, you are fighting battles which are already lost.
I am fighting with my mother's full moon, too, and I am trying to find the right dosage of antidepressant. She wakes up in the middle of the night and it's difficult to put her back to bed.
A kiss to all the other ones I did not mention.
I am glad I have to translate from english to italian and not the other way round...
Ladeeda please give us news. I am worried
Love ya'll , more later after some much needed rest...
Grandma is freaking out over the branches bouncing up and down and all the noise. My mother has now swept back into the house to feed grandma's anxiety about the wind and power outages with a heaping helping of her own. It is the recipe for the perfect anxiety-sh*t-storm.
I'm going downstairs to my lair to make chocolate pudding and climb into bed. I'm just tired of all the anxious activity and need to recoup my balance. Some time with the covers pulled over my head may help. If that doesn't work the chocolate should ;-)
Love and Stuff
HB