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Jen, all that really sucks bad. I don't understand why your mom won't use some of his money. It makes no sense to me. I am so sad that you are in that situation and I am glad you are able to grouse on here. It scares me that you are tapering off your meds. I have tried that and it didn't work. I just got angry.
Well it looks like hubby and I can breath a little easier now about the money for the house. Looks like we'll have proof of funds hopefully by Tuesday and our realtor said that will be fine. Hubby has been working so hard getting this place looking better. I am so ready to move. We are going to offer to do the updating and painting and such. Makes more sense to us than to have it contracted out at a large expense. We shall see. Our closing date is very soon!! :D Yay!! I will believe it when I have the deed and keys in my hands... And I really think I need to call the dentist.
My God you go with out shoes in this house at your own risk! I have to re wash my coat becasue he rolled over it... Mom was upset Monty peed on the floor and fp has a permanent peedle in his room now...What ever! Day started out bad not as. Mom been very upset. She just will not see his money as for her use and she has almost spent her life savings to the last dollar, is almost thinking of letting her health insurance with COBRA go..I am like SO Don't Do That!!! She is cashing in life insurance policies she has had since infancy. She is scared and upset and I don't say ANYTHING to her any more! She get upset she gets MAD but she has made her choice, she will beggar herself before she uses any of DDDDAAADDDDYYY'S money. Money that is for his care which WE PROVIDE. This IS what the money was saved for and earned for and invested for....Granted it would be nice if the fund had a guaranteed end date such as he will be dead by July but "for all we know he will have to Go into a nursing home at some point and then we will be...what did she say, not fucked but a phrase that mean fucked but isn't up shit creek...Any how she is upset, told me I need to pay for my prescription and insurance out of the hundred I get monthly..duh?! And she I don't know is gonna try living on beans, meanwhile she buys him a new pair of pants and a $12.00 magazine..well that is his money...
I saw her look at my dog and cat calculating their expense...You know what ma? Fart Pants can PAY my vet bills I don't care! He was told, you were told, WE WERE TOLD several times by visiting health aides and aging care staff to have him pay us for the care he receives here, as he is saving a great deal of money in being here, and having no expenses out side of his medication, literally...and still has money coming IN through investments GRANDMA MADE over the decades and his various pensions. Yeah if he goes into a home and every cent is used up for his care, so be it. YOU decided that, YOU choose to have him here and NOT be paid when the subject came up. You quit your job to look after him for no pay and now you are almost broke....Damn TV commercials where the guy had the intention to save a million five for retirement! Who ARE these people!? I am too screwed up to get a job (won't stop me from trying) and with him here I do not qualify for ANY social services. It is a fucking Greek Tragedy/Reality Show. She goes out of her way to make sure he has EVERYTHING he needs and or wants, I am tapering off prescriptions I can't afford after four years of un paid care giving...
Don't Care changing subject. How is everyone else.?. Better I hope. Any house news Miz. life news Ted. Missing Diane and Deef and Linda and Christine, Pirate and rip, JAM, ladee, bobbie, skkape, everyone busy, over whelmed and just tired? I know we are. Hello to new people, I am the bitter pill I rarely have much nice the say I hone my irritation..."Will Grouse For Food" may be come a legitimate employment opportunity.
Don't need help don't worry not like we are gonna be out on the streets..course it might be better then he'd just be pissing on the grass or pavement, no worries about the floor rotting through...Just a hard time here. Tote The Weary Load as Margaret Mitchell said...Yes "Gone With The Wind" much better title. Don't read it, excellent but profoundly racist book. Unless you want to...but I warned ya... God let him die, let me win a mint don't let me or mom get ill or my pets have more hundred dollar vet bills...but if they do...HE can pick up the tab!!!
ladee, you are a better person than I because I am afraid I would have no compassion for BG. Sure, I would try to understand why she is like she is but as for compassion, I am not so sure. I tried really hard to be nice to the caregivers that came to take care of Mom. I know there were times when I should have corrected them on things but I usually didn't. I wanted them to enjoy coming to the house so I could keep the good ones. Maybe I should have set more limits but I didn't. Anyway, it's too bad that Ruth was put in that situation getting her hair done, getting so stressed out and was not even able to visit with you. Does BG know that stress can cause strokes??
No Ted, you were not being polly anna about it, you were just giving her the benifit of the doubt. Was just at the NH to visit Ruth, BG insisted she have a perm, so they were in the facility beauty shop. I was only there a few minutes because BG was being so loud and telling the beautician how to do everything. the lady finally threw her hands up and said "YOU DO IT THEN". I walked out, didn't care to see more of what I see everyday.... My feelings would be so hurt if I thought everyone I came across was not glad to see me. That my personality made them go to the edge of being professional, and that I brought out the worst in people. I do have some compassion for Bg, as to how insecure she is, that all her money won't buy her friends, won't make her feel important enough to just be on this earth doing some kind of good works. but I didn't break her and I can't and won't try to fix her. I no longer get on that roller coaster in my own life, much less in hers... the whole thing is just sad and wrong in so many ways...... Ruth was so aggitated about having her hair done, I didn't even let her know I was there.
Thank ya'll for the support.And Bobbie, when you have witnessed first hand the abuse of someone you love, it makes me want to go postal. That is why I refer to them as the "manson family" sans sil. I am in this situation because I have lessons to learn. Guess one day I need to write a book.... naaah, I'll just want to rest when I finally retire... hugs across the miles..
Ladeeda, your experience with BG is what I witnessed when I intervened on mom. Mom was terrified that I was going to put her in a 'home' when I first arrived. Mom was told by her 'friends' that I was only after her money and that I would treat her badly. The primary offender was a family that my mom had befriended and given money to so they could adopt their 'girls' from Romania and they had an aunt. After they took her home away and gained control of her assets, made her live on the THIRD floor of their old colonial (giant staircases) so she had to drag her little O2 appliance up and down. When they had dinner sometimes they would 'forget' to call her down and they let her hair and everything go to hell. She looked so sad. They would mock her and talk smack right in her face. When I offered to take Aunt Helen and mom out for a salon day for hair, mani/pedi and then a nice lunch, my treat, I was told that 'she won't even know what to do and will be a pain with her oxygen, etc etc', which was not true. Mom and I were devastated. In retrospect, I should have called APS but I was overwhelmed with mom's care and wasn't really cognizant of the different programs out there to help. These were the same cretins who thought they were going to get my mom's money and they did get some of it but luckily I figured it out and made all secure for mom's future, whatever it was and however long it would be. They had acted like mom's friends all along, taking her $ gifts but when I came and redirected the 'program', they dropped mom like a bad habit. Of course all was blamed on me and they were the ones who called APS on ME hoping to get me in trouble so they could swoop in again.
By the time this sordid tale had played out, mom was truly demented and didn't understand why 'the girls' never came to see her, etc. I called and called to ask that they come and see mom and the woman never returned my calls. I called the husband and he was such an a$$hole to me it was unbelievable.
When they finally put Aunt Helen in a 'home', it was one of the stinky ones with low class, ignorant attendants. Mom and I went to visit her and she was only mid stage dementia, but she was stuck there. They rarely came to see her and when they did, it wasn't about her but about everything else. They just didn't have any need for her anymore. I guess they had spent all the money.
People can be very wicked when it comes to money. Especially money that is not theirs.
Ladee, I'm also so very proud just to know you! I guess I was being a little polly anna about BG. I didn't realize she was really such a b!tch.I stand corrected. It pains me that people like that are out there, and I guess that's why I tend to be so gullible at times, but the truth is I do know that those people exist, (from personal experience) and I am 100% percent behind you in your fight to protect yourself and Ruth any way you can. Maybe it would be a good idea to restart the conversation with ADS now, and keep them updated as things progress, so that you can know that you are not alone in this and that whatever threats or other garbage BG might try to fling at you in the future won't be seen as anything other than what it is.
Ya'll I would love it if BG cared about Ruth. She goes into the NH, never hugs her, never talks to her, just gets an update and leaves.. I know how the NH staff feel about BG, they have told me. Here at home, she would walk in, and never even speak to her. My lady was left out here for years by herself, that is part of the reason I started coming to visit her. Home Health has told me, they would fix her a can of soup because there was nothing fixed for her. Ya'll just do not know the neglect Ruth has suffered at the "families" hands. It makes me so sad to say, but BG just want it to be "over with". She is not like ssk, the only thing BG is protective over is her money. Guess that is why I over step boundries at times, I just want to pound BG sometimes for her selfishness and cold heartedness. If it were not for the sil, I would have been gone a long time ago. But believe me, I would call APS on my way out. I know that before I came here, Ruths sister had called the law about her conditions here. BG managed to bs her way around it, and it was just a big joke to her that the law was called. There is so much goes on in this world of our elders, that it would make some of you sick. My friend has worked with families like BG and it still just makes her sad and angry. But she is in the position to do something legal. So Ted, please move forward with your plans, Someone like you is desperatley needed for our helpless, sick and scaired elders... And yes, BG is having to let go of some "control" but sadly it has nothing to do with Ruth. As I said she is not ssk.And don't worry ya'll, GENTLE will be my approach. The only time I really got in her face was when I had to be gone for a few hours at the begining of this job. I came back and walked into a nightmare. Ruth had managed to get out of her chair and was standing at the kitchen sink, with sh#t all over her, the kitchen counters, the furniture in the living room, and the house reeked. I was so upset I was crying. I cleaned her up, cleaned the house and went to BG and let her have it. I am very aggresive if need be and that day she understood that I was someone to be reckoned with. I was crying and so angry. So, after all these months, I know how to at least get BG off of Ruth's back, and she knows I will get in her face. I am professional until abject neglect presents itself. Then do what ya gotta do, The sil has my back and will get on BG when I have had enough. But as I said I will not work under double stress like before the injury. Have had time to think and plan, rethink and replan. So, I appreciate ya'lls support, and I know no matter what, I can come on here, have my say and be understood. Thanks to all of you for being here for me and Ruth.. She would love ya'll , I know she would.... later.
Ladee, Now YOU are the inspiration. Taking control of the situation as you plan to do is the best thing that could happen to Ruth and to the entire family, as well as to you. And I think maybe ssk is right, maybe BG is just freakin over the role change and condition of her mom and all the things we have all gone through, and are still going through, and understand. That you're taking a firm hand and insisting on being the one who accepts the hardcore responsibilities and decisions might be just what BG has needed to hear all along. Let her know (kindly) that HER job, the most important one, is to give Ruth all the daughterly love and compassion she can muster while she still has the time to do so, and that you'll handle all the dirty work. Love Ya!
Bobbie, Thank you so much. and Lindsey, Thanks to you for your support! My first Professional encouragment!
Everyone's good wishes really mean a lot to me and give me that much more ambition and confidence that maybe this is the right way to go.
ladee, thanks for sharing the hospice info. I didn't know there was an ativan gel. Would be helpful if the person was agitated and needed something to calm down asap. Now I'll go back and read the cuz's jokes. I hope things get worked out between the Family, Ruth, and you. From a daughter's perspective, I can get overprotective of my mom and have a hard time giving up the "reigns" to someone else. But my mom gets better care if I "share" the care with helpers. Well, my mind has gone blank so I'll sign off. ssk
Good to "see" all of you here...thinkin' bout you all...always!!! Love the laughs!!! Glad they didn't run all of my "newfound" friends off from here...just a few "changes", yes??? Big ole HUGS to all of you...and pieces of my heart to each and every one of you...hopin and prayin and wishin for "mo" good things to come your way..."kat" xo :-)
Cuz " go get your mother" a laugh out loud moment for me.. will share this with friends... thanks for putting some laughter in our lives. You are very appreciated..
Have fun Jam... Ted, see what an inspiration you are!!!! You may not think you are getting the life you want, but sure seems you are getting a life headed in a different direction. One that helps many people, your our King, like it or not.. yeha Ted.
Bobbie, thank you for helping get the sight back to a way that we can all communicate, We would be so lost without each other... I know I would miss you all too much.. Seeme, we worry when we don't hear from you. Moan away, gets our minds off our own stuff for awhile... hugs to you... Had a great weekend with my friend. She is a Hospice RN, I think I have told ya'll that about a million times, but I forget. Anyway she has quite a few Alz patients and has given me some good suggestions for when Ruth gets home. Ya'll may already know about these things, but will post just in case. There are two topical meds for anxiety, aggression, ect. One is called ABH gel. It has Ativan, Benadryl and Haldol. ( ya'll excuse the spelling, hope it makes sense) It can be applied to the skin such as top of hands, when a person refuses to take meds or is having trouble swallowing. The two doses are one half strength and double strength. There is also an Ativan gel...to be used the same way She also said the three main anti depressants used are Zoloft, Effixor, and Klonopin. Sil said I WAS going to the discharge meeting, and now I will have new info and lots of questions to add to my growing list. Hope this info helps some of you. As I said this morning, I am planning a "meeting" with the "Manson family," to get some things out in the open, to let them know what I can do if allowed. and I am NOT going to do the double stress like I did before with BG driving me around the bend and adding to my stress. I am flexiable , and am going to put prayer and thought into what I want to say. But I have made the decision I will not work under the extra stress when Ruth comes home. So if they don't want me to do my best for Ruth, then they will be looking for someone else. If BG wants just a warm body that she can bully around, well , that won't be me. Either I am allowed to give Ruth dignity and compassion or I will not compromise my own intergrity anymore. I still have time , so if ya'll have suggestions, please share. I need all the input I can get. Even the funny stuff, stuff I will not share with them, but it will be in the back of my mind..... Miz good luck on your job hunt, ssk, let me hear from you... Excuse the misspelled words and the long post, have been having trouble with my computer and it takes forever for me to get to this sight. Love and hugs to you all.....
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said: Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny said:
I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.
miz...if you have an abscess you need to be on an antibiotic......amoxicillin or keflex. try to remember that God doesn't burden us with more than he thinks we can handle. Six months from now you will look back on this time and it will be just a memory.....you will be in your new house and have it all decorated just like you want. I hope everyone is having a great evening....I'm unhooking the computer now, packing it away, and going to bed so I can get up early and head West!!!!!!!!
Ted, you're right so Seeme, you just bitch and moan and don't you worry about a thing. We're here, we're here, we're here.
Been working our tails off and then falling down exhausted so that's why I haven't posted a bunch.
got a wonderful email from Lindsey at AC and they are continuing the improvements to the site and she thanks us for the feedback and congratulates Ted on his GREAT future!!
Way to go again Ted. ok, no shoes tomorrow and what the hell, no pants either...
Well I guess I have been inspired. I just updated my resume and applied for a full time job online. It's office work, payroll and such. Stuff that I like doing. I've been out of the swing of things for quite some time but hopefully it's like riding a bike. It's scary at 52. I risk my current manager seeing my resume online but hubby says maybe they will give me a raise.
But Seeme, I've found that when I'm able to bitch and moan here, where everyone expects and respects it, I can maintain a happier attitude when I deal with mom.
I do too, Ted. That's why I've stayed off here...trying not to bitch too much. I still have pity parties, especially when the weather is nice and I can't get out. It will get better.
Seeme, I swear you and I have the same mom. I can NEVER wash the floors except in the middle of the night, and even then I usually wake up to a trail where she went from her room to the bathroom. It's extremely frustrating for me, one of the things I need to learn how to stop letting it get to me.
Linda, the problem is with all of the meds that I take the only insurance I can get of my own is through the State of Illinois and it's for people like me that can't get insurance on their own and it's about $546.00 per month and it will probably go up because now they are gonna charge more for smokers. I had a root canal not that long ago and it was not near as bad as the one I had years ago. They have made great strides there.
miz- you can buy insurance for ur health , may cost alot but well worth it at our age ,. a guy has a indoors fleamarket , he sells alot on there and said he made good money , end up havin 2 booths its 100 each a month but he said he made good money so for him its worth it , there is dental school in indy , IU . i wentthere when i was 19 yrs old , had my wisdom and mollars pulled there , and one tooth needed root canel . oh lord never again ! ( root canel ) i tok my daughter there she had some work done on her teeth , cheap ! and well done , look up on internet for dental school of illionis and go from there , yes its been awful quite here today . where is everybody ? i feel like they drop off the face of this earth . hope theyre all a ok . austin- are u ok ? havent heard from u in a while either , ok coffee time and ciggy too . xoxo
Miz - My husband gets his teeth cleaned at the local community college. I don't know how much other work they do, but once you are in, you are IN. Their students need to practice on someone!
I wasn'tgonnabitchwasn'tgonnabitchwasn'tgonnabitch......BUT I HAVE TO.....Bleaa her heart, but I just washed the floors today and of course the 52 trips to the bathroom...and every time her bowels may move and it might be loose...so I jsut put her to bed and I say a half dollar dark mark on the bath floor when she was taking her teeth out... and it is shit ...I go to the kitchen to get something to clean it up and there is a spot on the kitchen floor...must be on her shoes....YES...and she has drug her feet all the way through the house....I GIVE UP...the first thing I will do when this is over is get new carpet. Help comes tonite...ahhhhhh....sleep.
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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love,
miz
love,
miz
I saw her look at my dog and cat calculating their expense...You know what ma? Fart Pants can PAY my vet bills I don't care! He was told, you were told, WE WERE TOLD several times by visiting health aides and aging care staff to have him pay us for the care he receives here, as he is saving a great deal of money in being here, and having no expenses out side of his medication, literally...and still has money coming IN through investments GRANDMA MADE over the decades and his various pensions. Yeah if he goes into a home and every cent is used up for his care, so be it. YOU decided that, YOU choose to have him here and NOT be paid when the subject came up. You quit your job to look after him for no pay and now you are almost broke....Damn TV commercials where the guy had the intention to save a million five for retirement! Who ARE these people!? I am too screwed up to get a job (won't stop me from trying) and with him here I do not qualify for ANY social services. It is a fucking Greek Tragedy/Reality Show. She goes out of her way to make sure he has EVERYTHING he needs and or wants, I am tapering off prescriptions I can't afford after four years of un paid care giving...
Don't Care changing subject. How is everyone else.?. Better I hope.
Any house news Miz. life news Ted. Missing Diane and Deef and Linda and Christine, Pirate and rip, JAM, ladee, bobbie, skkape, everyone busy, over whelmed and just tired? I know we are. Hello to new people, I am the bitter pill I rarely have much nice the say I hone my irritation..."Will Grouse For Food" may be come a legitimate employment opportunity.
Don't need help don't worry not like we are gonna be out on the streets..course it might be better then he'd just be pissing on the grass or pavement, no worries about the floor rotting through...Just a hard time here. Tote The Weary Load as Margaret Mitchell said...Yes "Gone With The Wind" much better title. Don't read it, excellent but profoundly racist book. Unless you want to...but I warned ya...
God let him die, let me win a mint don't let me or mom get ill or my pets have more hundred dollar vet bills...but if they do...HE can pick up the tab!!!
love,
miz
My feelings would be so hurt if I thought everyone I came across was not glad to see me. That my personality made them go to the edge of being professional, and that I brought out the worst in people. I do have some compassion for Bg, as to how insecure she is, that all her money won't buy her friends, won't make her feel important enough to just be on this earth doing some kind of good works. but I didn't break her and I can't and won't try to fix her. I no longer get on that roller coaster in my own life, much less in hers... the whole thing is just sad and wrong in so many ways......
Ruth was so aggitated about having her hair done, I didn't even let her know I was there.
Thank ya'll for the support.And Bobbie, when you have witnessed first hand the abuse of someone you love, it makes me want to go postal. That is why I refer to them as the "manson family" sans sil.
I am in this situation because I have lessons to learn. Guess one day I need to write a book.... naaah, I'll just want to rest when I finally retire... hugs across the miles..
Ladeeda, your experience with BG is what I witnessed when I intervened on mom. Mom was terrified that I was going to put her in a 'home' when I first arrived. Mom was told by her 'friends' that I was only after her money and that I would treat her badly.
The primary offender was a family that my mom had befriended and given money to so they could adopt their 'girls' from Romania and they had an aunt. After they took her home away and gained control of her assets, made her live on the THIRD floor of their old colonial (giant staircases) so she had to drag her little O2 appliance up and down.
When they had dinner sometimes they would 'forget' to call her down and they let her hair and everything go to hell. She looked so sad.
They would mock her and talk smack right in her face.
When I offered to take Aunt Helen and mom out for a salon day for hair, mani/pedi and then a nice lunch, my treat, I was told that 'she won't even know what to do and will be a pain with her oxygen, etc etc', which was not true.
Mom and I were devastated. In retrospect, I should have called APS but I was overwhelmed with mom's care and wasn't really cognizant of the different programs out there to help.
These were the same cretins who thought they were going to get my mom's money and they did get some of it but luckily I figured it out and made all secure for mom's future, whatever it was and however long it would be.
They had acted like mom's friends all along, taking her $ gifts but when I came and redirected the 'program', they dropped mom like a bad habit. Of course all was blamed on me and they were the ones who called APS on ME hoping to get me in trouble so they could swoop in again.
By the time this sordid tale had played out, mom was truly demented and didn't understand why 'the girls' never came to see her, etc. I called and called to ask that they come and see mom and the woman never returned my calls. I called the husband and he was such an a$$hole to me it was unbelievable.
When they finally put Aunt Helen in a 'home', it was one of the stinky ones with low class, ignorant attendants. Mom and I went to visit her and she was only mid stage dementia, but she was stuck there. They rarely came to see her and when they did, it wasn't about her but about everything else. They just didn't have any need for her anymore. I guess they had spent all the money.
People can be very wicked when it comes to money.
Especially money that is not theirs.
Ugh. Don't you wish you could save the world....
more later,
lovbob
Maybe it would be a good idea to restart the conversation with ADS now, and keep them updated as things progress, so that you can know that you are not alone in this and that whatever threats or other garbage BG might try to fling at you in the future won't be seen as anything other than what it is.
love,
miz
So Ted, please move forward with your plans, Someone like you is desperatley needed for our helpless, sick and scaired elders... And yes, BG is having to let go of some "control" but sadly it has nothing to do with Ruth. As I said she is not ssk.And don't worry ya'll, GENTLE will be my approach.
The only time I really got in her face was when I had to be gone for a few hours at the begining of this job. I came back and walked into a nightmare. Ruth had managed to get out of her chair and was standing at the kitchen sink, with sh#t all over her, the kitchen counters, the furniture in the living room, and the house reeked. I was so upset I was crying. I cleaned her up, cleaned the house and went to BG and let her have it. I am very aggresive if need be and that day she understood that I was someone to be reckoned with. I was crying and so angry. So, after all these months, I know how to at least get BG off of Ruth's back, and she knows I will get in her face. I am professional until abject neglect presents itself. Then do what ya gotta do, The sil has my back and will get on BG when I have had enough. But as I said I will not work under double stress like before the injury. Have had time to think and plan, rethink and replan. So, I appreciate ya'lls support, and I know no matter what, I can come on here, have my say and be understood. Thanks to all of you for being here for me and Ruth.. She would love ya'll , I know she would.... later.
That you're taking a firm hand and insisting on being the one who accepts the hardcore responsibilities and decisions might be just what BG has needed to hear all along. Let her know (kindly) that HER job, the most important one, is to give Ruth all the daughterly love and compassion she can muster while she still has the time to do so, and that you'll handle all the dirty work. Love Ya!
Bobbie, Thank you so much. and Lindsey, Thanks to you for your support! My first Professional encouragment!
Everyone's good wishes really mean a lot to me and give me that much more ambition and confidence that maybe this is the right way to go.
I hope things get worked out between the Family, Ruth, and you. From a daughter's perspective, I can get overprotective of my mom and have a hard time giving up the "reigns" to someone else. But my mom gets better care if I "share" the care with helpers. Well, my mind has gone blank so I'll sign off. ssk
Bobbie, thank you for helping get the sight back to a way that we can all communicate, We would be so lost without each other... I know I would miss you all too much..
Seeme, we worry when we don't hear from you. Moan away, gets our minds off our own stuff for awhile... hugs to you...
Had a great weekend with my friend. She is a Hospice RN, I think I have told ya'll that about a million times, but I forget. Anyway she has quite a few Alz patients and has given me some good suggestions for when Ruth gets home.
Ya'll may already know about these things, but will post just in case.
There are two topical meds for anxiety, aggression, ect. One is called ABH gel. It has Ativan, Benadryl and Haldol. ( ya'll excuse the spelling, hope it makes sense) It can be applied to the skin such as top of hands, when a person refuses to take meds or is having trouble swallowing. The two doses are one half strength and double strength. There is also an Ativan gel...to be used the same way
She also said the three main anti depressants used are Zoloft, Effixor, and Klonopin.
Sil said I WAS going to the discharge meeting, and now I will have new info and lots of questions to add to my growing list.
Hope this info helps some of you.
As I said this morning, I am planning a "meeting" with the "Manson family," to get some things out in the open, to let them know what I can do if allowed. and I am NOT going to do the double stress like I did before with BG driving me around the bend and adding to my stress. I am flexiable , and am going to put prayer and thought into what I want to say. But I have made the decision I will not work under the extra stress when Ruth comes home. So if they don't want me to do my best for Ruth, then they will be looking for someone else. If BG wants just a warm body that she can bully around, well , that won't be me. Either I am allowed to give Ruth dignity and compassion or I will not compromise my own intergrity anymore. I still have time , so if ya'll have suggestions, please share. I need all the input I can get. Even the funny stuff, stuff I will not share with them, but it will be in the back of my mind.....
Miz good luck on your job hunt, ssk, let me hear from you...
Excuse the misspelled words and the long post, have been having trouble with my computer and it takes forever for me to get to this sight.
Love and hugs to you all.....
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:
Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said: Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.'
That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?'
Johnny said:
I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.
The teacher fainted.
miz...if you have an abscess you need to be on an antibiotic......amoxicillin or keflex. try to remember that God doesn't burden us with more than he thinks we can handle. Six months from now you will look back on this time and it will be just a memory.....you will be in your new house and have it all decorated just like you want.
I hope everyone is having a great evening....I'm unhooking the computer now, packing it away, and going to bed so I can get up early and head West!!!!!!!!
Love and Hugz,
Jam
lovbob
Ted, you're right so Seeme, you just bitch and moan and don't you worry about a thing. We're here, we're here, we're here.
Been working our tails off and then falling down exhausted so that's why I haven't posted a bunch.
got a wonderful email from Lindsey at AC and they are continuing the improvements to the site and she thanks us for the feedback and congratulates Ted on his GREAT future!!
Way to go again Ted. ok, no shoes tomorrow and what the hell, no pants either...
lovbob
onedaywithoutshoes.com
I signed up. I think I can handle it, seeing as how I never get out of this frikkin house anyway.
there is dental school in indy , IU . i wentthere when i was 19 yrs old , had my wisdom and mollars pulled there , and one tooth needed root canel . oh lord never again ! ( root canel ) i tok my daughter there she had some work done on her teeth , cheap ! and well done , look up on internet for dental school of illionis and go from there ,
yes its been awful quite here today . where is everybody ? i feel like they drop off the face of this earth . hope theyre all a ok .
austin- are u ok ? havent heard from u in a while either ,
ok coffee time and ciggy too . xoxo
I wasn'tgonnabitchwasn'tgonnabitchwasn'tgonnabitch......BUT I HAVE TO.....Bleaa her heart, but I just washed the floors today and of course the 52 trips to the bathroom...and every time her bowels may move and it might be loose...so I jsut put her to bed and I say a half dollar dark mark on the bath floor when she was taking her teeth out... and it is shit ...I go to the kitchen to get something to clean it up and there is a spot on the kitchen floor...must be on her shoes....YES...and she has drug her feet all the way through the house....I GIVE UP...the first thing I will do when this is over is get new carpet. Help comes tonite...ahhhhhh....sleep.