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Helen, Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mom. I am so sorry. She is with the angels we have met here on this thread through the daughters who have cared for them. They are all there together and with the ones they love and who love them. Grieve you own way and we are here for you always.
One of my a44hole brothers called from Vancouver todfay to see how we made it through the storms. Real concerned, Huh. It was 2 fn weeks ago!!! Spare me...
I don't know why I care, but one of my siblings finally came to pick our Mother up to go to the movies today. She was irated because I declined to go with them and it would mean she'd have to do all the manual labor in transferring and pushing the wheelchair. (Too bad I say! I've been without sleep now for 2 days so I don't give a shiite).
Anyway, this particular sibling isn't the best housekeeper herself, but still switched into my home, held up her nose and said "You should open a window in here." and switched out.
There's been so many times I've entered her home and found piles of dishes and refuse everywhere. I've held my nose and either helped her clean or held my tongue. Anyway, yes, my place stunk because I haven't got the trash out today and I'm sure there is an odor.
I guess, siblings being ugly is part of the caregiving job. They feel superior because they have careers, fancy cars, and big paychecks. They get to buy new clothes for themselves and their kids when needed. They get to take real vacations without negoitiating with anyone to just get a break. They go to church and feel superior about that and rub your nose in it as if you are inferior because you haven't got out to go.
I've been rambling here a lot since last night, and apologize for it. I'm just tired and feeling down. Thanks to all for your prayers and for reading. I'm going to try to get some shut eye. Also, I don't always read through postings in this forum, and even if I do, the stories get mixed up in my mushy head. I know everyone has problems and although I don't always give encouragement to everyone, you all are in my prayers.
Ladee, yes, you never know what they will say next. In the case of Joyce, she was making kind of a compliment... When I am in a good mood, I see the funny part of it. My mother said today (it was a very sunny day): "Why did they switch all these lights on?" (she meant the sun). It's fascinating, in a way.
LOL I'm only 52 and I would have to wear one of my strapless push up bras to hold it up. Not even sure that would turn the trick, I mean do the trick. ;)
Don't apologize ladee.....I'll ask about the pole....:) Maybe that explains why she doesn't like ceiling fans or lights....hmmmmmmm. Right now I think there are only 2 tops....one sparkly, sequined pink and the other is the same but black. I mean, come on.....what is there to hold those babies up?
Jam, I just plain love ya,,,you make me laugh and I know you are about to blow a gasket, but you make me laugh anyway... sorry Rossella, you saying that about your mom made me remember when i was taking care of a lady named Joyce, early stage alz, and I took her and her husband to a viewing at the funeral home of a family friend. We are standing there and a family member came up to speak to Joyce. We all stood there in awkward silence for a few seconds and then Joyce says, "look at her, she's dead and she still looks better than me!"... I made a quick apology to the family and shuttled Joyce out of there... we can dress them up, but we can't always take them somewhere...!!!!!
I'm talking sequins here folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little loose tops with elastic on the top and bottom.....and wasn't it HB that called those girls.....chicken titties? Oh, Lord I think I need more drugs.......................
miz.....now your new "look" won't be complete without individual fake lashes (winkies)!!!!!!!!!!!!! And here is a secret I've never told you guys......her outfit of choice in the summer are sparkling "tube tops"........:)
miz.....throw those hot rollers in a burn pile and watch 'em melt!!!! Doesn't it just feel special to put on your "work around the house" clothes and smell like a million bucks.
I say we do what George Carlin said......put a fence around Wyoming and instead of putting all the criminals there, we will send all the demented people we care for there and then as husbands and BF's prove what a pain in the butt they can be, we will send them to care for the gomers. Works for me.
Sorry, Helen. I am glad your sister was with you and you were not alone!
HB, Jam, Seeme, Bpryor (any chance you change your nickname? It's very difficult, and you are so nice, you deserve a better nickname!) we are having hard times with our ladies! What's going on? Do they have a site on their own, that we don't know about? Do they communicate with each other online, so that they find new ways to make us crazy? Well I must say my mother was very reasonable today. Just today, Maybe John Paul II decided to help me! He sent us a beautiful sunny day and a little bit of peace of mind. But the good days are becoming less and less frequent. 2 days ago my mother was at the café with one of my helpers. She got mad at her, I don't know why, so she said (to the helper) "Do you want to hurt me again?" (showing the bruises on her face) (the bruises that she has because she fell from the bed, not certainly because my helper bludgeoned her). And she said so with a very loud voice, so all the people in the café looked at her, at her bruises, they looked at my helper, horrified. My mother will send us all in jail!
Mainelady has posted here on this thread. Poor thing really needs some lifting up. I told her to come here. She lives in Presque Isle, Maine, which is just below Caribou ( right next to that place in Eqypt, if you know what I mean....). (Sorry Sharon) We are talking some long winters there!!! Anyway, Sharon, WELCOME Just jump in with any quesstions or concerns. There are over 14,000 posts on this thread. I started reading from the begining just to see what was going on and really enjoyed the couple of hundred I read. Click on our profiles to get to know us.
Well, got to get under the sink straightened out now. Hubby is done!!!!
Thanks for all the love and prayers. My mom passed away on Saturday April 30 2011. My sister and I held her hands as she departed after they turned off the ventilator and we held a wake for her last night and told stories until midnight. I will try to be back soon after my sibs and I try to figure things out long distance and commute to settle estate. Hug your loved ones for me, Helen
seeme and Jam, I'm sorry you are having such a sucky day. I feel for ya and I know it can make ya crazy. I wish I could help. Jam, I thought of you the other day. I was going through the bathroom cabinets and found my old hot rollers!! And then I found another little set of like 4 or 6. Guess those were for travel. LOL!! And on a more positive note, when I am getting dressed now I think of how you use your good perfumes for everyday and I am doing that some. :)
I tell ya what. This moving shit is for the birds. Especially after all of the losses. A friend of mine had to be out of her rental house 4 months after her dad passed. That was where they had lived. :(
We spent three hours this morning getting one of hubby's piece of crap trucks running and he drove it to our new house towing another piece of crap truck we have. OMG. No more trucks please!! He took a nap and is now out shopping for a carpet steam cleaner and then going to the house to work on painting the bedroom. I've been packing and packing and packing, etc. Still more to do.
Jam, 1. scream, 2. get in a tight roll in the corner of the bathroom and cry 3 Kill somethuing - even a weed, or go break some glass. The sound would be music to your ears. 4. Beat the col's head against the wall. 5. Do what Ladee said. 6. Take 2 valium. 7. Chase them with a marguerita. Thanks for the wish of a Harley ride for me, but I don't see that happening any time soon, either.
Linda, I let mom scream for over an hour this am. After an hour I got up and took a shower. By the time I finished, she was sound asleep. I don't know if it is sundowners or not. She hasn't come by this the way others have, what with the brain damage and all. But she is up most of the night. It was full blown by 10:30 last night.
Today has been a pisser, too. Hubby woke up with a "Plan" today, which usually means I am involved somehow. Now my kitchen is torn apart. He decided to fix the leak in the faucet, so everything under the sink is on the floor, and the whole faucet assembly is off. Needless to say, I had to clean up the grout shit off the sink and it is getting suppertime and no water, and no hubby. And mom is I'm Hungry ............
Then she has a disgusting bathroom episode that just grosses me out (no it not involve poop) and I could just gag. Now she wants to know what is happening - how the hell do I know, ask the oncology dr. weds.
I see my pulse in my eyes again. shit. i"m gonna smoke. Got a whole carton on base. Paid 39.75. OH, well, like Jam...either smoke or kill someone. Jail... cig ... jail...cig...jail...cig....gonna die anyway........
bpr, you'll be banging your head against the wall all by yourself before long, so just give it some time lol I don't think i have welcomed you or nance, and I think there is someone else I am missing, I'll figure it out. anyway, welcome to the "sanity Zone"..
jam, tell them all to kiss your a$$. You need a break, what would all the idiots do (not your son) do if something happens to you. Bet they could figure it out.. You are just way too tired, burned out, all the words we use, Tell your husband you have bought a plane ticket. do not tell him where you are going, go to the airport and just get the hell out of there for awhile.... All I can do is send you angels, and they aren't much help if you are so exhausted you can't feel them. Have one big screaming fit, you'll feel better and they will leave you alone for awhile....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Helen, Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mom. I am so sorry. She is with the angels we have met here on this thread through the daughters who have cared for them.
They are all there together and with the ones they love and who love them.
Grieve you own way and we are here for you always.
lovbob
Anyway, this particular sibling isn't the best housekeeper herself, but still switched into my home, held up her nose and said "You should open a window in here." and switched out.
There's been so many times I've entered her home and found piles of dishes and refuse everywhere. I've held my nose and either helped her clean or held my tongue. Anyway, yes, my place stunk because I haven't got the trash out today and I'm sure there is an odor.
I guess, siblings being ugly is part of the caregiving job. They feel superior because they have careers, fancy cars, and big paychecks. They get to buy new clothes for themselves and their kids when needed. They get to take real vacations without negoitiating with anyone to just get a break. They go to church and feel superior about that and rub your nose in it as if you are inferior because you haven't got out to go.
I've been rambling here a lot since last night, and apologize for it. I'm just tired and feeling down. Thanks to all for your prayers and for reading. I'm going to try to get some shut eye. Also, I don't always read through postings in this forum, and even if I do, the stories get mixed up in my mushy head. I know everyone has problems and although I don't always give encouragement to everyone, you all are in my prayers.
Rossella, you saying that about your mom made me remember when i was taking care of a lady named Joyce, early stage alz, and I took her and her husband to a viewing at the funeral home of a family friend. We are standing there and a family member came up to speak to Joyce. We all stood there in awkward silence for a few seconds and then Joyce says, "look at her, she's dead and she still looks better than me!"... I made a quick apology to the family and shuttled Joyce out of there... we can dress them up, but we can't always take them somewhere...!!!!!
I say we do what George Carlin said......put a fence around Wyoming and instead of putting all the criminals there, we will send all the demented people we care for there and then as husbands and BF's prove what a pain in the butt they can be, we will send them to care for the gomers. Works for me.
Love and Hugz,
Jam
HB, Jam, Seeme, Bpryor (any chance you change your nickname? It's very difficult, and you are so nice, you deserve a better nickname!) we are having hard times with our ladies! What's going on? Do they have a site on their own, that we don't know about? Do they communicate with each other online, so that they find new ways to make us crazy? Well I must say my mother was very reasonable today. Just today, Maybe John Paul II decided to help me! He sent us a beautiful sunny day and a little bit of peace of mind. But the good days are becoming less and less frequent.
2 days ago my mother was at the café with one of my helpers. She got mad at her, I don't know why, so she said (to the helper) "Do you want to hurt me again?" (showing the bruises on her face) (the bruises that she has because she fell from the bed, not certainly because my helper bludgeoned her). And she said so with a very loud voice, so all the people in the café looked at her, at her bruises, they looked at my helper, horrified.
My mother will send us all in jail!
Jen, I KNEW your FP was a porn reader!
Mainelady has posted here on this thread. Poor thing really needs some lifting up. I told her to come here. She lives in Presque Isle, Maine, which is just below Caribou ( right next to that place in Eqypt, if you know what I mean....). (Sorry Sharon) We are talking some long winters there!!! Anyway, Sharon, WELCOME Just jump in with any quesstions or concerns. There are over 14,000 posts on this thread. I started reading from the begining just to see what was going on and really enjoyed the couple of hundred I read. Click on our profiles to get to know us.
Well, got to get under the sink straightened out now. Hubby is done!!!!
I tell ya what. This moving shit is for the birds. Especially after all of the losses. A friend of mine had to be out of her rental house 4 months after her dad passed. That was where they had lived. :(
We spent three hours this morning getting one of hubby's piece of crap trucks running and he drove it to our new house towing another piece of crap truck we have. OMG. No more trucks please!! He took a nap and is now out shopping for a carpet steam cleaner and then going to the house to work on painting the bedroom. I've been packing and packing and packing, etc. Still more to do.
love,
miz
Linda, I let mom scream for over an hour this am. After an hour I got up and took a shower. By the time I finished, she was sound asleep. I don't know if it is sundowners or not. She hasn't come by this the way others have, what with the brain damage and all. But she is up most of the night. It was full blown by 10:30 last night.
Today has been a pisser, too. Hubby woke up with a "Plan" today, which usually means I am involved somehow. Now my kitchen is torn apart. He decided to fix the leak in the faucet, so everything under the sink is on the floor, and the whole faucet assembly is off. Needless to say, I had to clean up the grout shit off the sink and it is getting suppertime and no water, and no hubby. And mom is I'm Hungry ............
Then she has a disgusting bathroom episode that just grosses me out (no it not involve poop) and I could just gag. Now she wants to know what is happening - how the hell do I know, ask the oncology dr. weds.
I see my pulse in my eyes again. shit. i"m gonna smoke. Got a whole carton on base. Paid 39.75. OH, well, like Jam...either smoke or kill someone. Jail... cig ... jail...cig...jail...cig....gonna die anyway........