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ok 3rd time trying to post, Thanks you guys so much. JAM oh my goodness, the ol give you a comment on your garden so you will take her shoppy-shoppy, i wish when they play these mind games they would at least make it not so obvious. They try to trick ya. I think they lose their memory and brain trys to reconnect itself by wiring the part of brain that controls sneaky behavior. I still think its a shame they dont come up with some kind of Ambian or Lunesta aresol spray. That ould
be handy. '
I got the ol I dont have any children, I told so and so I made the right decision by coming here.
Thanks PIRATTE im sorry you are going through this, it does get better in time, the tears are good,and I dont think they ever go away, my hubby and i was saying not long ago(we lost his mother), the sad times do become less frequent and sadness ,becomes sober remembrance, and eventually Happy memories. It just takes time. But grieving is good. You are so sweet,and it helps those of us who are at the beggining mid frustration to see you all make it through. you are a strong girl. We love ya.
Linda Id get another DR tomarrow. Dont wait you shouldnt have to. If he has a bladder tumor and dementia those are 2 good reasons why hospice should step in for you. Find a dr. who will. maybe you can contact some of the local hospices in your area and get wome input from them. See what they say. Maybe somone can point you in the right direction to a hospice friendly DR. hang in there sweetie.
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miz....I think you should at least plug them in and give them a try before they get to File 13........wouldn't you and the col look beautiful in your tube tops, black-coated winkies and hot rollers? WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ASG......you are asking a question that I think is asked by care givers everywhere....except maybe those that want us to believe that a field of daisies is a real place........You are not cruel....You are human.....Sometimes I wonder how bad is the col going to get? Can I do this or will we end up putting her in a nursing home? I see her sitting on her couch day after day after day, whining for us to take her to the grocery store or to go shoppy - shoppy....hubby just asked her how she liked her dinner and it's "I would be so honored to take you out".....we have explained to her that we DO NOT like going out.....we like being home, our careers have made us want to be home. Of course she can't comprehend that...she is unable to comprehend much these days. I've become so frustrated that I have lashed out with "quit expecting us to be your entertainment.....I'm sorry you have never had a hobby, but that is not my fault. I am not Marsha (her deceased daughter) and I will not keep you entertained like you think she did". We have offered her the chance to get out once a month to go to what is called "Jolly Sixties".....people her age, that she would have something in common with, that meet once a month for lunch and friendship. Absolutely not, she will not go around a bunch of old women who just want to talk about their aches and pains. Well, excuse me princess, what the f**k do you think you are? Sometimes I think if I have to smell urine, poopy butt, rotten teeth, see dirty hands, hear the same repetitive questions one more time I will cut my throat!!!! I have heard 1/2 a dozen times today how attractive my garden is, and when are we going to buy more plants to put in it...when her care starts to really affect my mental health and my physical well-being then there will have to be a reevaluation of what we are doing.

seeme.....I haven't forgotten your question.

Will check in later or in the morning.............sweet dreams for all of you!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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I'm here too Pirate...
ASG, Linda is right, it will get worse. No sense in not telling you the truth. There is no way to prepare for it, as everyone's situation is a little different. Linda has a rag doll, I have one that thinks she is Muhammad Ali!!!! One won't move, the other won't stop moving. Linda has a bad back, I have a bad knee. So hopefully you found us at the right time, to help you thru all this.
And the other side of this is we are here for the ones that are not doing this everyday now, but still need to be here, for them and for us...
hugs across the miles.... and Linda, get another dr. one that will help you get some damned help. Do not let that bastard get you discouraged. prayers for you and Pa...
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no where ya go ? lol glad ur baby gave u comfert and lick away ur tears , you guys are bonded ! so sweet to have eachother .
you ll have to tell ur boyfriend to treat ur baby the way he treats u . LOVIE LOVIE . hows the potty training go ? hope it doesnt take long to be trained ,
ok going to go flop on the couch and rest , i hope ,,,,
goodnight , wheres rip ? missin her , austin ?? peachie . dflex . deffer . everybody ???
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pirate im here !!!
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okay ready to start humming the Jeopardy tune now where are you all at in the bathroom or popping popcorn?
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allshesgot . no it doesnt get any easier as time goes by , i have had a bad day . pa decided to go limp on me ,
didnt have a good visit with his dr , i wanted to kick his ass , hate his attudie ! i ask for hospices , he said why ? i said uhh cuz dad has a tumor on his bladder , umm noooo he wouldnt be eligable for one, i said uhh dementia , oh no thats not covered , i said well i need help with dad . then he gave me the look that i could read his mind out loud that i made my choice to take care of pa so deal it without any help attidue on me , i gave him the shock look and then he said i ll send homecare out and let them elvauate him to see if he can be on home health care .
im about to say screw it !!!! OBMAJ !!
then he said no xray , i dont even think he said it his chest were clear or not , i dont remmy , it was a suckie visit ,
so it was raining out and i told pa il bring the van around so we wont get wet .
zoom got there and dad decided he dont know how to stand :( i literelyyyy had to pick him up sis got in theback ofvan and hovered dad and pull his ass up , i baked at him said dad ure not helpin me ! ure limp ! come on help me out pa ! nope he was 100 percent ragdoll , sis and i was shakin realy bad , got home , to get him out of the van , oh my gosh ! another ragdoll .... i told sis u watch ,, in t he mornng we will feel sooo sore ! i can feel mine comin on .
yes i need drugs if icant get any help , bunch of stupid ass crock system shit ..
told sis , man i feel so depressed ! she said everybody feels depressed , i was stressed out big time . then i go t to think if i hate walmart im sure id hate whatever is in that town ! hubby said uhh change doctors , i dont care for male doctors , need find me a woman doctors that sure knws how inthe hell we ladies feel ,, shit . hope tmr brings us a better day , suppose be ugly and rainin tmr . again like today ,
goodnight u all . wheres yahoo ? how ya spell it , that doesnt look right , lol
xoxoxo
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oh geez it's tough to read some of the post comments now, knowing I have been through the entire journey and there are others just starting or midway with frustration
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Miz now I am saying where is everybody? lol
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Rosella yes she did go peacefully it was so sad to witness so sad..those last few breathes it's terrible but I would want to be by her side...even though she slipped away while I was out calling Hospice...but it was peacefull...the dog does make me forget but sometimes it come rushing back...today I started to break down and cry in the car and when an ambulance came by I started to cry she sat up in my lap and put her paws up on me and licked my tears..I guess some dogs sense sadness...my german shepard was good at sensing that when I was a kid
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Oh geez Harde is it harder to manipulate dad into the car...oh man I remember taking mom to the doc in mid Feb and just was stuffing her into the backseat of the SUV was so awful...thank god with hospice they come to you. Please get some help with daddie..maybe they can come with one of them vans with the lift for a wheelchair?
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nope it only gets harder so get ready for it...some things will be easier and some things will be harder.
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ASG I used to wonder when my time would come and now it has come and gone and I wish I could do it all over again..I miss my mom so much..and I wish she was still here storming around the house like she used to do checking to make
sure I was not getting into anything...she would love the new little pup too...oh it
hurts...when it is all over you will see what I mean..I am sure I have seen others
say the same thing when it is all over...just savour your caregiving cause you will
only do it once and when it is all over you will wonder where the time all went.
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ok guys so question, what do you guys do when every day all day long almost you wonder how much longer will you be dealing with this? Does that happen or am i cruel? When every sound is amplified, every small annoyance is mutiplied. When you just want to scream. You realize it could be far worse,and it probably will be. What then? How do you get through? Does it get easier as time goes on?
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hey everybody. BOBBIE, ha ha, i never could wear a tube top. by the time i got skinny enough they were outta style. syle changed again, to showing off the belly and I couldnt wear that. too many stretch marks from baby. Oh well I give up. decided to stick with jeans and tees. slacks for the important stuff. even gave up all my eve gowns once I got divorced and didnt need them anymore. Never met such a dressy group of people as my ex hubbys family. It was kinda a shock to this farmer girl. seeme, hey i hope you get some sleep. my aunt spoke to dr. about how she couldnt sleep he told gave her some phamplets on relaxing before bedtime. So im pretty sure he dosnt have a clue as to her other problems. Somtimes I cant tell if she is demented or a reincarnated comedian ha ha. jk no offense bobbie. Mizz, you sound excited. wall colors always look wrong until ya get your stuff in the room. JAM why is it old peoples version of spoilking there pets are our version of abuse. jeesh. Was thinking of an old lady in toen who had no family,drove a car till it ran outta gasd then would call a local mechanic,he would fill it up with gas for her until the next time it broke down(or ran outta gas rather). She had a chiua-ua. kept it wrapped in a blankie carried it around. always wondered what she did to it to make it ao obedieant. I mean it wouldnt move even in the grocery store. she really thought it ws an infant we think. She disapeared one time or so we thought. Her car disapperaed. she was found at home with no recolection of where the car was or how she got home. DOA finnaly stepped in at that point. hmmmm wonder where she went.
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Night Rossella. I'm gonna get ready for bed. Good night, everyone. Jim Bob, John Boy, Mary Ellen, Grandma, Grandpa, etc.
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Pirate, it seems your mother passed quite peacefully... It's a good thing.
I'm glad for the new puppy. BF will get used to him. (her?)
Goodnight everybody
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Wonder if my hot rollers still work. ;)
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Is anybody out there??
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seeme....nope didn't see your question until just now....will read and get back with you.

pirate.....so nice to hear from you; sounds like you are holding up fairly well.....and now a new baby to care for. That will help you alot when you start to feel really down....nothing like a little unconditional puppy love.

Been trying to get a few things done around the house today. Laundry....you know that really fun stuff.....col has badgered me all day about "let's go shopping", "I need to go to the grocery store".......geez..............I walked downstairs this morning and there are pretzels on the floor, one of which the dog grabbed, and I asked her what part of "don't feed the dog people food do you not understand"? Oh it's only a little piece.....I repeat, what part of ................. those aren't people food....."oh, you're eating dog food then"? Wouldn't answer me. When she was in the bathroom earlier it seemed for a minute that her sink drain was slow and I asked her if she had been combing her hair and putting it in the sink, she made some silly statement and then looked at her hot rollers with an odd look on her face. I think she hasn't played with them because she can't remember how to use them and can't remember how to turn them on to heat up.

Haven't added anything to my blog for a few days.....guess I will work on that later.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night,

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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OF COURSE, the washer and dryer set I wanted has a gas dryer and we need electric. :( This is our life!!
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Hubby got the trim off the window and two walls painted in the bedroom. He's not happy with the color, says it looks like baby poop or puke or something. I love it!! It's golden!! It does need another coat. We decided to move our move day to Friday which works out better for me at work. If it was Thursday I would have had to work 11:45 - 2:45 because the other gal has a funeral to go to. This way I can work for her on Thursday and she will work for me on Friday so I will get all of Friday off. I found a nice washer/dryer for sale on Craigslist. Probably will go for it. Both for $350.00. Maybe we can pick those up on Friday. I will have lots of laundry to do I am sure and I really don't wanna come back over here and do laundry while the family is working on the house. I must be really gritting cause my tooth hurts again. Guess I need to take more ibruprofen. More later.

love,
miz
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I LOVE puppy breath. If it could be bottled up I would buy some. Pirate, I am happy for your baby. She will help you recover and b/f will fall in love with her too. My neighbor's dog came over today, she is my baby for now. I am the only one who can get her to walk nice on a leash. So glad to hear from you pirate!!

Is Vandygurl out there?? Hope she got to talk to ASG daughter.

Mainlady....Glad to see you are still here.

Bobbie...I am hoping we will still gat Bike and Boat in same picture. Looks like Ted must be too busy to talk to us., huh?

Jam ...did you see my question on the right? Have you got a comment? Just wondering...

Linda....Hope you didn't hurt your back some more, but it sounds like you did. Or was it bad news about Pa making you want to cry? Can you get pain meds? Course what you really need is HELP!

Miz...that was an ambitious list for hubby. Hope ypu are making good headway.

When I told mom about Bin Laden today, she got all upset. Thought I said Obama, not Osama. She watched it on CNN all day after she got her haircut. She sleptsome, but I needed a nap after going out and it was so hot in the car - no a/c for her - I got a headache, so I'm sure I will be up all night again. Tomorrow is my day off to get my gray cut and colored and get groceries cause sis will be on her way. So excited to see the 12th Great-nephew. Now will get dusting sone.

Love to all. Hope everyone had a good day, and will have sweet dreams.
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Pirate, I was so glad to see your post and so glad you were able to spend time with your mom both before and after she passed. I think a puppy is a good idea too. A new little life to take care of and love. B/F can just get used to it. I think I know at least some of what you are feeling and I will tell you it will get better and it will get easier. Don't rush yourself. Love you and know your mom is at peace. :)

love,
miz
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh pirate and Linda, I have an old lady dachshund named Carrie which meaans "sweetpea" in German. She is 17 years old and is my little sweetpea for sure! I hope you both have a peaceful evening! God Bless!

~Sharon
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ohh pirate ! u made my heart melt ! adopting a baby awwwwwwwwww , duchound is a smart dog , weiner dog , i ve always wanted on but nanana , cat is plenty .
sounds like ure comin along good , glad u have ur gfriend hangin out with you .
i dont know what it is but seems like all male doctors are an asshole ,
will fill u in on that tnite . got a big outside dog to care for right now .. in the rain ,
almost never got dad in the van , came home almost drop him out of the van , i wante dto go my bdrm an d closed the door and bawl but ididnt , still holdin it inside of me . ok gonna go for a walk with my big old 14 yrs dog i have had , shes a sweetie , maybe i will cry in the rain . xoxoox
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Pirate, I am sorry for your loss. Have been thinking of you, knowing you would post when you felt like it. I am happy to hear you got time to spend alone with your mom.
And a new baby, just what the dr ordered!!! And bf will get over himself or find himself alone. We do love our pets....and you need puppy breath right now. And like you said, the diversion.
Hope you get moved out of your house ok and no major problems... just know you have been in a lot of prayers... hugs across the miles..
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Hi Sailors,
For those of you who know me you know I lost my mom last Thursday morning...it was rough...I had gotten up after b/f left to work and thought I would check on her...the night before I had to call hospice cause her breathing seemed even more labored...and they gave her a little morphine..so in the morning she was still the same but I decided to rearrange her from how the nurse had her and was almost going to get on the net...SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD I DID NOT GO BACK TO BED OR GET ON THE NET....since I was busying myself around her noticed around 8 her breaths where getting really small...and I thought oh my gosh....went to call hospice and by the time I got back she was gone, however I got to talk to her for a long time before that and was so glad of it and then spent a lot of time kissing her and hugging her afterwards until I was ready for them to come...so sad..it was a rough few days after that...b/f was with me...g.f was with me on sat....sun I went to mortuary to deal with biz and then went to my other house to pay rent and wrote landlord I was going to be out by end of month I have a ton to get out...on Sat my g/f went with me to pick up a new patio set my parents old picnic table was so riddled with termites we needed a new patio table...next door they had dog rescue and I checked out a beagle but the dog was not interested in me at all...so we got the furniture and left....on Sunday after dropping off rent and checking out my house if it was okay was supposed to stop by my aunt but thought I would swing by the petshop down the street and they also had rescues...AND GUESS what came home with a BABY....her name is baby...she is a little thing 2 months....so cute...they say dachshund chihuaha mix..but I think there is terrier in there cause she fetches ball like an infielder so glad she a ball player don't think I could handle a dog that is not a ball player...b/f is not to thrilled he did not grow up with dogs..he did like my last dog but she was an adult and behaved and super smart..this little rascal has to still learn how razor sharp her little teeth are...you should see my arms and face...like I was in a cat fight...If I can find a link to her rescue site I will post it...so far it's been a bit better cause pup won't let you think but from time to time it still hits...
Piratess
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Man I am kickin' it and boy can I feel it. Hit my arm on something, I don't remember what, and it's been giving me some pain although it is much better. And, was walking down the hall carrying a box and hit a part of the wall that sticks out with a bam, hit my face. Tooth has been hurting again. Tired but I am sure not as tired as bobbie or you all who have to keep getting up at night. Been packing more this morning. I have noticed that there is always that small amount of space left in the box that you don't know what to put into it. Nothing from the same room. Or there's that one thing that sticks up too high to close the box. Hubby rented a Budget truck for Thursday so now I have to see if I can get that day off. He plans to have the room painted by then and I think the carpet cleaned and rods up in the closet and the basement power washed and seal painted. That sounds like a lot to me but I'll let him do his thing. Turns out Thurdays are cheaper to rent their trucks than Wednesday or Friday. I thought that was odd. Some of the family will be here Sunday. Oh boy!!

love,
miz
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