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Sharon,you are in the right place. This thread is life changing. Wow you care for 2 demented parents, that must be so hard. I care for a relative after stroke but luckily she can still feed herself(just needs it prepared),takes herself to the restroom. Im lucky in that aspect, my biggest problem is what I believe to be undiagnosed dementia, its all the mental stuff that gets to me. And a cat whom she loves but her view of spoiling and protecting the cat is keeping it locked up,until I can let it out multiple times throughout the day, which in turn makes the cat behave badly. We are all going through some stuff, its nice to get to know and talk with undemented adults who go through stuff to. All though I will call us undemented I wont promise we are sane!!! We have a lot of fun here.
Morning 1dayatatime ceramic glaze in the hair. How'd ya ever get that out? Fellsstephen, yes somtimes it helps just to see that you are not alone and certainly arnt the only one to want out. Venting here definatly helps. How long have you been cargiving? Tell us a little about your situation.
I am so very overwhelmed, because I am caring for two parents (with Dementia) by myself w/o help, as I have no siblings and no children that live nearby. I get so lonely for adult conversation and get so tired of the daily rountine....three meals a day, meds 3x daily, laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, packing meds, etc. etc. etc. Mom had a stroke and can do nothing and does not dress or bathroom herself. I get so weary in well doing and I feel bad when I get to the end of myself and have nothing left to give and run out of patience.........................UGH! Mom and Dad have enough money to support us and just enough in assets not to qualify for any help. I am between a rock and a hard place. Talk to me folks! I do not understand WHY there has to be so much suffering in the world today. Thank you, Sharon
stephen...it is a very hard job, and no one here will say it is easy. We tell others our fears, what angers us, what saddens us, so we share our grief and cut it in half. We get good ideas, we help problem solve, and don't let anyone pick on us. We hope you stay. Say whatever you feel and know you are loved here for what you do.
I i though i had probloms but reading these post i am much better. But know that your don't like you hurts. i am not by my self. i hope god gives us what we need to get thur this. i just started caregiving iam looking for away out. i ain't going to do this, theres no win in it none. i give. you try to help and get nothing in return. thats wrong. i can't take it, to much for me.
cuz.....so sorry for you and your family today.....your plate has been waaayyyy too full lately.
miz.....I helped my son and dil move stuff yesterday....I've been too spoiled by paying to have it done. Won't do that when and if we sell our lake home....but we are leaving a lot of stuff so won't matter.
Linda......I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your soon-to-be former doctor. I've been reading for the last couple of days..........and the problem starts with "the system"........I know a lot of doctors on a professional as well as personal level.....and the truth is not always pretty and most people don't understand why and how doctors act the way that they do. There are still some good doctors out there....the trick is finding one who has been in practice long enough to still care....but not short enough to not know their a$$ from a hole in the ground.
pirate and rip......I hope you are both finding some peace in your days.
bobbie.....I admire the job you are doing............and glad it's not me. When I cleaned out the col's house, even though I had no attachment to anything, it was still a daunting job.
Will be back later......must get things done today in the yard as there is a chance of rain tomorrow.
Not grossed but quite amused when my mom put ceramic glaze (she used to do ceramics) in her hair for hair grease. I could barely contain my self while trying to get it out. Another time she took a marker and drew all over her head and it looked like Charlie Brown!! - You hate to laugh but have to to keep from crying!
Cuz, sorry for your loss, you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. Bobbie, today, today, today, I need to stay in today...thanks Linda, when BG was getting the house ready for Ruth to come home from the NH wwhen I first started working here, she found over $600 in cash stashed around the house! And I understand what you are saying. You are tired, and one more hassle is going to take too much energy. The biggest statement you will make is getting another doctor. I hate it that you are having to do this, but follow your gut and do what is going to make you feel more confident in choices you have to make. Just know that we are all worried about you and hope you get help soon... hugs I can get my email up so had to go directly to this sight. I want to throw this computer out the window... I will get caught up with everyone else later, hugs across the miles..
cuz- sorry for your loss . theyve gone to a new life , suffer no more ,,, bobbie- i dont want anything to do with my town . that place can just kiss my hindend , im going to find another doctor , if im not happy with this one why keep going back ? kickin myself in the ass for not doing that soon enuff . right now i dont wanna do anything . i have enuff of bulls and non sense crap , im pullin a dark blanket over my head with butter knifes stickin out . that doc hurt me and im not over it yet . pay him good money and he attacks me , screw him .... ur cat is going to miss that manson kingdom ! wish i could join that cat for fun . ohhh if i was a cat i be sqweeeling . jump offthose long stairs , ride down on the handles weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. wonder if ur kitty knows the top ref ? prowl till someone walks by and jump on ur head ! whaaaaaa. seemeride _ i went thru excat same thing ure going thru . oh my gosh ! npakin s all folded nice ! looks like its been iron on too , tons of em stack neatly in sandwhich bags , find em every where in the closet ! meds bottle that has the round stuff to keep it fresh inside the bottle , big bags full of em !!! mcdonald boxes all stacked up neatly , with dried food inside it . found alotta money all nicely folded too !!!! so watch out for monies !!!! dirty plastic forks and spoons , eeek . cereal boxes stash way back in closet . theyre empty , mmmm okkkk what doi do with it , ahh throw em away , find checks dated 8 yrs ago never been chased , 20 thousand dollars check !!!! expired , checks no good . 4 thousand dollars just expired 6 mos ago , found one i forgot how much it was , got it to thebank just in time to cash it , was gonna be expired in few days ! hide all important papers in a place ya never think to look at . it s wild ! next thing i knew i was itchin and felt shit crawlin on me and i cant see em . no see bugs ! man i hated it . sis couldnt do it anymore , it was breaking her out bad . realy sad to have to go thur all that , hope u find treasures ... have a h appy day you all . gloomy here rainin again and it wasnt suppose to . mmmm xoxoxo
Miz, I didn't realize you worked at a newspaper when I made that comment about the end of rolls. Hope it worked out for you.
Cuz, sorry about the loss, and I don't mean this ugly, but I would like to go like that. Just sit down and start visiting with other family before you.
Bobbie, my dad was a 'border hoarder', but we didn't mind throwing things out. How many empty boxes of Moist & Meaty dog food do you need. Those nice bags that wrap up all those rolls of paper towels from Sam's? Dad couldn't throw them out - Look they GIVE you these nice garbage bags! He trashed the upstairs, but mom sstill had control of the downstairs, mainly cause she couldn't walk well enough to negotiate clutter. Can't tell you how many lids of spray paint cans were thrown away.
Got a gross condition to talk about later. Gotta get mom ready to go to the doctor.
Cuz, I am so sorry about your wife's uncle. Wow you are going through a lot right. now. Thanks so much for being here for us.
Sitting here at my computer desk and just realized I need to pack all the stuff on it and in it. Does it ever end?? I got a lot of boxes from work yesterday. Also another end roll of newspaper paper. It's free cause I work there. Hubby just left to get the washer and dryer. Man he is working hard. I am wondering how the kitties are going to take the move. All they know is this place since being in the cage at Animal Control. They won't have as much room to run around but they will have the basement to play in. Gotta be at work by 10:15 today so I best get crackin. More later. Love yous!!
It's still dark out and the Cat must have imbibed some heathen brew because she is racing around like a MadCat. To her this house is like Magic Mountain for Cats and she is having a blast. When we were coming up we stayed at a motel and the bed was built on a platform that was carpeted and the Cat figured out how to pull herself all the way around the bed with her claws while laying on her back. It was hilarious. Here, my bed is a box spring and mattress on the floor because I hated to hear the frame squeak. The floor is hardwood and the Cat is doing the same trick but faster as she slides along the floor while clawing her way around the entire bed. And then back again. and again and then a break while racing out the door and down the stairs and then up again and then around the bed. The whole time this is going on she is meowing and purring and making little noises. OK, she just showed up with a fat tail..... annnnnnnnnd back around the bed and now down the stairs, also hardwood, she sounds like someone has let go of a sack of new potatoes as she goes down. Finally a break. She is now sitting on my foot and shooting the high five.
Helen, it's good to see you and wow, that was quick. Sorry you are doing so much on your own. It's hard. You are an amazing daughter. While I was writing my mom's obit the funeral director was breathing on me to hurry and I was in such a daze I didn't tell him to buzz off so I could do the job I should have. One of the few things that still bothers me. Other than the STUFF!! Another lesson, start writing the obits now so you can refine them and make your mom or dad proud. I wrote my dad's obit in 91 and it was a good one.
Linda, the offer is still open. I have thought about it and would just represent myself as your caregiver advocate. Anybody can advocate for someone in any situation. Just like with the funeral director, if someone else had been there to tell him to go and we'll see you later, I could have done a better job. When we are tits deep in our situations it's very difficult to have the energy to stand up and badger people to do what they are supposed to do in the first place.
Cuz, sorry for your loss. always sux. glad you are fishing and funny you don't eat them. Grandma B was with mom and dad at the poconos house one time and mom caught some nice fish and put them in the bucket. she felt bad about it and let them go and Grandma chewed her out saying she was looking forward to a good fish dinner. What's wrong with you girl? Mom went to the Acme and got some already dead fish. I always liked that story.
ladeeda, don't stress yourself out with stuff that's not happening yet.
Hi nguys, Ladeeda,YOU GO GIRL!!! just wanted to say that today lol. If you find a better less stress oppurtunity I would take it. After all you only have one life,you gotta do whats best for you. Bobbie you must be in horder hell!!! Children.Aginst.Hoarding. or How about "Dont Will it. Throw it" GSA, Sorry for your sudden loss. hang in there. Rosella, i thought i had a naughty kitty. jk. CUZ,sorry bout you loss if I hadnt said it already. Its hard watching them fall like dominoes. Glad the aunt is better. They are lucky realitives to have you and your wife. Linda, I hope you get some help. I know you are strong but no need in you not getting help when its available. That doc is an ass I agree. Id keep pressing or let bobbie help. Donbt worry bout pissing him off,DR like that do as little as they have to, this also means they spend more time with the ones that b*tch,and the quiet ones they let stay quiet. Make up a stink and he will do it just to quiet you. You deserve to have help,and your pa deserves it to.
seeme, miz, austin, and others, thanks for your support. I just want Ruth home so we can move to the next phase of this situation, for lack of a better term.And seeme, I promise there is nothing SHY about me, but I do need to stay professional. That is for me, to maintain my integrity and do the right things for the right reasons. I do not mean to sound so 'holier than thou" but it is such fine line between doing my job and not being taken advantage of. I know all of you with no help at all and sibs that won't help, know my frustration and anger. And believe me this salary is nothing. I make the same amount here for a month that I made in a week at my last job. Did not live in there. I would not have a problem negotiating salary if I felt there was a legitimate reason and the family had few resources That is not to say I would work for free. This is my chosen profession after all. But I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the family. I appreciate those that keep their private lives, finances, and skeletons away from me. None of my business. Has nothing to do with the job I was hired to do. For me, having too much information only adds stress to my already stressful job. Such a fine line there, ya'll just don't know... anyway. Things will move in one direction or another and I will try to keep an open mind and my mouth shut. This is not what I wanted to be doing at my age. Just like the rest of you, regardless of your age...
Ok, I have talked about this enough, am going to go work on my Indian Warrior sculpture and pretend I am getting to do my hearts desire, which is art....
Hugs across the miles to all of you wonderful, loving, caring, stressed, grieving friends of mine.
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens..
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Thought that might brightnen up whats left of tonight ya think?
Hey guys Just a quick update on this end. This morning my wife lost her last Uncle on her mom's side. Uncle John had a quadruple bypass last week and came out of that with a real good report. He was sent to A Christian Rest Home for tharepy and Friday the wife was there to visit him and he was doing great. Yesturday he said he was having a little trouble breathing but was checked out and this morning he got up sat in a chair and went home to be with his wife. Her other aunt is doing a lot better. They took out the tube that was in her lungs and she is now back to eating soft foods etc. but he dimensha is really starting to show it self now. All we can do is see how she recovers from the pnewmonia and go from there. She has great care where she is right now and that helps. Love to all of you Cuz
Ladeeda you may be surprised how many job offers for live in care are out there-many families unlike those on this thread do not want to be kept going 24/7 and want live in's I was encouraged to have a live in for my husband but we could not afford it-but where I live having live in's is a lot cheaper than nursing homes for their elders who have lots of money and the family does not want medicaide. GSA that is a nice idea of sending the fruit basket to the nurses in ICU
Off for now - sending a thank you basket to the ICU staff that fought so hard for Mom. Have to catch up to a week's worth of MY work that pays bills to keep the cashflow coming to allow me to travel down to see the sibs and work on estate. My sister has really stepped up, but my brother is quickly using up his good mojo. Now it's how much how soon and no offers of additional help. Sorry, writing the obituary by myself and now the speech for service has me on edge. hugs, Helen
One man's trash is another man's trash that has to be taken to the dump. When in doubt, PLEASE throw it out. slogans as we go through my mother's plastic containers and used dry cleaner bags (wtf?). Helen
Quick pop in to say thanks for the hugs and good thoughts about my mom Nancy. It was all just so sudden - she said she had food poisoning Friday, then my nephew took her to the ER with a fever Easter Sunday, and then the roller coaster through April 30. It was so unexpected and sudden, but 2x on the cancer journey has resulted in my making sure to keep telling family and friends that I love them and trying to resolve disputes quickly or move on. No regrets other than NOT ENOUGH TIME with someone I love/d. Safe journey, Mom - hugs,Helen
ladee, you seem to have a calling. Of course, you have to take care of you first but caregivers that care so much for someone that is not family are hard to find. Some caregivers care MORE than family and that is definitely you!! Let's hope there are not many BG's out there. I always tried to be extra kind to the caregivers we had for when I was at work or when hubby and I desperately needed a night out. I wanted them to want to work here. The fact that my mom was so pleasant helped a lot too. I think I have said this before but one of Mom's caregivers who gave me breaks at the end when Mom was in the hospital went into a depression after Mom passed. How BG can/will not appreciate someone like you is beyond me. She sounds just plain evil. I would hope that the next family would be far nicer than she is. And you are right...jobs are hard to find in this economy.
ladeeda you are loved by us all I am so glad you stood up to the family-when you hurt we all hurt. Linda I agree let Bobbie get in touch with that doctor-he is so wrong and needs someone like Bobbie to put him in his place so please think about it.
Bobbie, guess you are feeling, "will this EVER end". I have an advantage from Hurricane Rita, she taught me to be a minimalist, other than my craft and art stuff, not a lot left to throw in a dumpster one day... Thanks for your support and yes, like you, but different circumstances I do not want to do a live-in job again. I know now why dependable live-in's are hard to find... we do not get paid enough to put up with the Griswalds...., and her yard and house did look like the Griswalds at Christmas, drove me nuts... I do have a job offer in the wings, BUT, it is live-in. I haven't talked to the son yet, but there are two things that are deal breakers, I WILL bring my cat, had for 14 years, she is the only constant in my life, and I WILL have access to a computer. I am a smoker, but families usually don't have a problem with that because they know I will not smoke inside their homes.( like I am doing now, without their knowledge, f**k em') That CitruScent is some amazing stuff lol. I do not smoke around Ruth, go outside, but since I have been held hostage here for over two months, I figured what the hell, what are they going to do... fire me??? If only!!!!
I am in between a rock and a hard place. I do not want another live-in job, but jobs are so damned hard to find. Of course I should not pre-judge other families because of this one, no more than live-ins should be judged by incompetent caregivers..... Oh whine, whine whine...
Linda, for real, let Bobbie call that damned Dr. I would if I were in your shoes. I would accept that help without thinking twice about it. Think about it.
Ladee.....Just being around BG has put you in the trenches since your knee was broken. Add her to your pain and suffering was a deeper trench than you needed, that's for sure. Glad you stood up to them. Don't be shy about it any more!!
Jen...Girl, I just don't know what to say. Now I know why the perv bit. As long as you keep your distance.......WAY distant.
Linda, I don't know why some doctor wouldn't write that order. Cannot believe it. I got lucky. My doctor thinks I am doing a good job, so he will do anything I say. God, I'm so glad. This is hard enough as it is.
Rosella....About 3 yrs ago, my mom fell and hit a table on the way down and tore the skin on her forearm. It was about 6 inches long. So we rushed her to ER, didn't hardly bleed, but it looked nasty. It took 3 mos. of daily bandaging to get it to heal. Right after it happened, mom had to go to the oncologist and his nurse looked at that bandage on her arm and just stopped everything she was doing and just stared for a long time. I threw my hands up in surrender and said , Hey, I took her to ER. It is documented! I thought I was going to jail. Now if mom gets a bunch of bruises, she will joke about calling the police if she doesn't get her way. But she is just joking.
Sis, neice and baby will be here tomorrow. Today was my day off and my help was here for 6 hr. I just want her to be here for mom, but she dusted, vaccuumed, tended mom and helped me put groceries away after she helped me clean out the frig. She is a very good friend. She even dusted the blinds and moved the furniture. I am very blessed. She is also a cleaning nut.
Deef...Good luck with finding a new place. What added stress!!
Thank You, Bobbie. :) I am of the throw it out persuasion. On the other hand, the wonderful man I am married to says, but I can sell that or I might need that or something like that. I can tell in our new house it's gonna be a bit of a struggle. Hubby's mom, God rest her soul, was into home interiors and her walls were almost covered. I am not that way. It's probably good cause hubby and I will balance each other out. I HAVE gotten rid of things that I wish I had kept. But what the hay!! It's just stuff!! He's over at the new house power washing the basement and I think he's gonna vacuum and steam clean the carpet tonight. He got an old huge refrigerator out of the basement and up the stairs and into one of the garages all my himself today. Truck day is Friday. Did I mention we found a washer and dryer for $75.00 on Craigslist?? He's gonna go pick those up tomorrow morning. Yay!! No sink/washboard/clothes line/launder-mat for me!! Man I am tired. Very busy and stressful day at work today and it's a longer day tomorrow. Please pray hubby's back doesn't go out on him through all of this.
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Fellsstephen, yes somtimes it helps just to see that you are not alone and certainly arnt the only one to want out. Venting here definatly helps. How long have you been cargiving? Tell us a little about your situation.
cuz.....so sorry for you and your family today.....your plate has been waaayyyy too full lately.
miz.....I helped my son and dil move stuff yesterday....I've been too spoiled by paying to have it done. Won't do that when and if we sell our lake home....but we are leaving a lot of stuff so won't matter.
Linda......I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your soon-to-be former doctor. I've been reading for the last couple of days..........and the problem starts with "the system"........I know a lot of doctors on a professional as well as personal level.....and the truth is not always pretty and most people don't understand why and how doctors act the way that they do. There are still some good doctors out there....the trick is finding one who has been in practice long enough to still care....but not short enough to not know their a$$ from a hole in the ground.
pirate and rip......I hope you are both finding some peace in your days.
bobbie.....I admire the job you are doing............and glad it's not me. When I cleaned out the col's house, even though I had no attachment to anything, it was still a daunting job.
Will be back later......must get things done today in the yard as there is a chance of rain tomorrow.
Love and Hugz,
Jam
Bobbie, today, today, today, I need to stay in today...thanks
Linda, when BG was getting the house ready for Ruth to come home from the NH wwhen I first started working here, she found over $600 in cash stashed around the house! And I understand what you are saying. You are tired, and one more hassle is going to take too much energy. The biggest statement you will make is getting another doctor. I hate it that you are having to do this, but follow your gut and do what is going to make you feel more confident in choices you have to make. Just know that we are all worried about you and hope you get help soon... hugs
I can get my email up so had to go directly to this sight. I want to throw this computer out the window... I will get caught up with everyone else later,
hugs across the miles..
bobbie- i dont want anything to do with my town . that place can just kiss my hindend , im going to find another doctor , if im not happy with this one why keep going back ? kickin myself in the ass for not doing that soon enuff . right now i dont wanna do anything . i have enuff of bulls and non sense crap , im pullin a dark blanket over my head with butter knifes stickin out . that doc hurt me and im not over it yet . pay him good money and he attacks me , screw him ....
ur cat is going to miss that manson kingdom ! wish i could join that cat for fun . ohhh if i was a cat i be sqweeeling . jump offthose long stairs , ride down on the handles weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. wonder if ur kitty knows the top ref ? prowl till someone walks by and jump on ur head ! whaaaaaa.
seemeride _ i went thru excat same thing ure going thru . oh my gosh ! npakin s all folded nice ! looks like its been iron on too , tons of em stack neatly in sandwhich bags , find em every where in the closet ! meds bottle that has the round stuff to keep it fresh inside the bottle , big bags full of em !!! mcdonald boxes all stacked up neatly , with dried food inside it . found alotta money all nicely folded too !!!! so watch out for monies !!!! dirty plastic forks and spoons , eeek . cereal boxes stash way back in closet . theyre empty , mmmm okkkk what doi do with it , ahh throw em away ,
find checks dated 8 yrs ago never been chased , 20 thousand dollars check !!!! expired , checks no good . 4 thousand dollars just expired 6 mos ago , found one i forgot how much it was , got it to thebank just in time to cash it , was gonna be expired in few days ! hide all important papers in a place ya never think to look at .
it s wild ! next thing i knew i was itchin and felt shit crawlin on me and i cant see em . no see bugs ! man i hated it . sis couldnt do it anymore , it was breaking her out bad . realy sad to have to go thur all that ,
hope u find treasures ...
have a h appy day you all . gloomy here rainin again and it wasnt suppose to . mmmm xoxoxo
Cuz, sorry about the loss, and I don't mean this ugly, but I would like to go like that. Just sit down and start visiting with other family before you.
Bobbie, my dad was a 'border hoarder', but we didn't mind throwing things out. How many empty boxes of Moist & Meaty dog food do you need. Those nice bags that wrap up all those rolls of paper towels from Sam's? Dad couldn't throw them out - Look they GIVE you these nice garbage bags! He trashed the upstairs, but mom sstill had control of the downstairs, mainly cause she couldn't walk well enough to negotiate clutter. Can't tell you how many lids of spray paint cans were thrown away.
Got a gross condition to talk about later. Gotta get mom ready to go to the doctor.
Cuz, I am so sorry about your wife's uncle. Wow you are going through a lot right. now. Thanks so much for being here for us.
Sitting here at my computer desk and just realized I need to pack all the stuff on it and in it. Does it ever end?? I got a lot of boxes from work yesterday. Also another end roll of newspaper paper. It's free cause I work there. Hubby just left to get the washer and dryer. Man he is working hard. I am wondering how the kitties are going to take the move. All they know is this place since being in the cage at Animal Control. They won't have as much room to run around but they will have the basement to play in. Gotta be at work by 10:15 today so I best get crackin. More later. Love yous!!
miz
It's still dark out and the Cat must have imbibed some heathen brew because she is racing around like a MadCat. To her this house is like Magic Mountain for Cats and she is having a blast.
When we were coming up we stayed at a motel and the bed was built on a platform that was carpeted and the Cat figured out how to pull herself all the way around the bed with her claws while laying on her back. It was hilarious.
Here, my bed is a box spring and mattress on the floor because I hated to hear the frame squeak. The floor is hardwood and the Cat is doing the same trick but faster as she slides along the floor while clawing her way around the entire bed. And then back again. and again and then a break while racing out the door and down the stairs and then up again and then around the bed. The whole time this is going on she is meowing and purring and making little noises.
OK, she just showed up with a fat tail..... annnnnnnnnd back around the bed and now down the stairs, also hardwood, she sounds like someone has let go of a sack of new potatoes as she goes down.
Finally a break. She is now sitting on my foot and shooting the high five.
Helen, it's good to see you and wow, that was quick. Sorry you are doing so much on your own. It's hard. You are an amazing daughter.
While I was writing my mom's obit the funeral director was breathing on me to hurry and I was in such a daze I didn't tell him to buzz off so I could do the job I should have. One of the few things that still bothers me. Other than the STUFF!!
Another lesson, start writing the obits now so you can refine them and make your mom or dad proud. I wrote my dad's obit in 91 and it was a good one.
Linda, the offer is still open. I have thought about it and would just represent myself as your caregiver advocate. Anybody can advocate for someone in any situation. Just like with the funeral director, if someone else had been there to tell him to go and we'll see you later, I could have done a better job. When we are tits deep in our situations it's very difficult to have the energy to stand up and badger people to do what they are supposed to do in the first place.
Cuz, sorry for your loss. always sux. glad you are fishing and funny you don't eat them. Grandma B was with mom and dad at the poconos house one time and mom caught some nice fish and put them in the bucket. she felt bad about it and let them go and Grandma chewed her out saying she was looking forward to a good fish dinner. What's wrong with you girl? Mom went to the Acme and got some already dead fish. I always liked that story.
ladeeda, don't stress yourself out with stuff that's not happening yet.
Love all you guys and more later.
lovbob
Bobbie you must be in horder hell!!! Children.Aginst.Hoarding. or How about "Dont Will it. Throw it"
GSA, Sorry for your sudden loss. hang in there.
Rosella, i thought i had a naughty kitty. jk.
CUZ,sorry bout you loss if I hadnt said it already. Its hard watching them fall like dominoes. Glad the aunt is better. They are lucky realitives to have you and your wife.
Linda, I hope you get some help. I know you are strong but no need in you not getting help when its available. That doc is an ass I agree. Id keep pressing or let bobbie help. Donbt worry bout pissing him off,DR like that do as little as they have to, this also means they spend more time with the ones that b*tch,and the quiet ones they let stay quiet. Make up a stink and he will do it just to quiet you. You deserve to have help,and your pa deserves it to.
And believe me this salary is nothing. I make the same amount here for a month that I made in a week at my last job. Did not live in there. I would not have a problem negotiating salary if I felt there was a legitimate reason and the family had few resources That is not to say I would work for free. This is my chosen profession after all.
But I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the family. I appreciate those that keep their private lives, finances, and skeletons away from me. None of my business. Has nothing to do with the job I was hired to do. For me, having too much information only adds stress to my already stressful job. Such a fine line there, ya'll just don't know... anyway. Things will move in one direction or another and I will try to keep an open mind and my mouth shut. This is not what I wanted to be doing at my age. Just like the rest of you, regardless of your age...
Ok, I have talked about this enough, am going to go work on my Indian Warrior sculpture and pretend I am getting to do my hearts desire, which is art....
Hugs across the miles to all of you wonderful, loving, caring, stressed, grieving friends of mine.
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens..
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Thought that might brightnen up whats left of tonight ya think?
Lov Cuz
Love to all of you Cuz
When in doubt, PLEASE throw it out.
slogans as we go through my mother's plastic containers and used dry cleaner bags (wtf?). Helen
love,
miz
Thanks for your support and yes, like you, but different circumstances I do not want to do a live-in job again. I know now why dependable live-in's are hard to find... we do not get paid enough to put up with the Griswalds...., and her yard and house did look
like the Griswalds at Christmas, drove me nuts...
I do have a job offer in the wings, BUT, it is live-in. I haven't talked to the son yet, but there are two things that are deal breakers, I WILL bring my cat, had for 14 years, she is the only constant in my life, and I WILL have access to a computer. I am a smoker, but families usually don't have a problem with that because they know I will not smoke inside their homes.( like I am doing now, without their knowledge, f**k em') That CitruScent is some amazing stuff lol. I do not smoke around Ruth, go outside, but since I have been held hostage here for over two months, I figured what the hell, what are they going to do... fire me??? If only!!!!
I am in between a rock and a hard place. I do not want another live-in job, but jobs are so damned hard to find. Of course I should not pre-judge other families because of this one, no more than live-ins should be judged by incompetent caregivers..... Oh whine, whine whine...
Linda, for real, let Bobbie call that damned Dr. I would if I were in your shoes. I would accept that help without thinking twice about it. Think about it.
hugs to everyone
Jen...Girl, I just don't know what to say. Now I know why the perv bit. As long as you keep your distance.......WAY distant.
Linda, I don't know why some doctor wouldn't write that order. Cannot believe it. I got lucky. My doctor thinks I am doing a good job, so he will do anything I say. God, I'm so glad. This is hard enough as it is.
Rosella....About 3 yrs ago, my mom fell and hit a table on the way down and tore the skin on her forearm. It was about 6 inches long. So we rushed her to ER, didn't hardly bleed, but it looked nasty. It took 3 mos. of daily bandaging to get it to heal. Right after it happened, mom had to go to the oncologist and his nurse looked at that bandage on her arm and just stopped everything she was doing and just stared for a long time. I threw my hands up in surrender and said , Hey, I took her to ER. It is documented! I thought I was going to jail. Now if mom gets a bunch of bruises, she will joke about calling the police if she doesn't get her way. But she is just joking.
Sis, neice and baby will be here tomorrow. Today was my day off and my help was here for 6 hr. I just want her to be here for mom, but she dusted, vaccuumed, tended mom and helped me put groceries away after she helped me clean out the frig. She is a very good friend. She even dusted the blinds and moved the furniture. I am very blessed. She is also a cleaning nut.
Deef...Good luck with finding a new place. What added stress!!
I hope everyone has a very good night's sleep.
love,
miz