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Christina, Mom was on Exelon and it made her crazier than a bedbug! Took the Aricept away for a week and she was totally gone. No comprehension at all. Put her back on it and she came back, but was getting more unhappy and aggressive. That's when the neurologist put her on Namenda, which Bobbie recommended. He said if the Aricept still worked, then the Namenda would actually enhance it. So we started her out on a low dose and we all noticed a huge personality change after the first week. She now gets 10mgs in the AM and another 10 at bedtime. She is still out there a lot, but she actually joins in at daycare now and is much happier than she had been for a long time. Once again, the Exelon was like poison to her personality and I have had many people tell me the same thing. Hope this helps! Mom is so over the top right now! Full moon Friday. Must be a doozy ! She is crazy busy all the time and wearing us out trying to keep her out of trouble. I swear she has more hands than Buddha! Nothing is safe within her grasp! Had to give her extra meds tonight just to calm her down so she could rest, never mind go to sleep. As for lazy husbands, Annt, we should get ours together in a room for a week and see who would do something productive first!
Hi all. Sounds some of you are having a really tough time at present especially Annt and Christina. I know it's hard to keep your sanity with so much stress but it will pass, though never soon enough. Re the medication - My Mom was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in 1998. The 1st thing the Consultant recommended was an Anti-depressant which really helped Mom. Then he suggested we put her on Aricept to pull her a little farther - turns out she was allergic to it. Had severe Leg Cramps at night and woke me screaming in pain. Next we tried Exelon but eventually Mom kept doing worse on the cognitive tests and the Consultant eventually admitted to me that he thought they had done more harm than good! Kinda takes the hope of our your sails when the Geriatric Specialist admits that. So off with that medicationan and now Mom's just on water pill, anti-depressant, aspirin and protein pump inihibitor to protect her stomach from the aspirin. Reading some of the posts, I think everyone needs to remind themselves that trying to rationalize with a person that's got Alz is a futile exercise. My Mom was somewhat aggressive in the beginning but is very placid now. I used to get so frustrated with Mom when she would look for her Father or Mother and tell her "Mom they are Dead for years". This was me fighting against the illness - I wanted to 'fix' Mom. I think part of my acceptance of the illness was when I stopped trying to correct her and just went along with whatever she was saying i.e. 'sure we were always great friends - we went to School together'. My response was 'yeah we were great friends'. Mom "where's my Mother" - Me "Shes gone out to the yard for something"... etc. Though Mom has not become almost non vocal she can still sense when I'm in a pissed off mood and physically reacts by making her arms go rigid when I'm trying to get off her clothes. I'm sure you all know how hard it is not to scream at her but to adjust my voice and talk 'nicey nicey' and oh so very pleasant when you want to pummel something! I really feel for all of you that are going thru such tough times. Please cut yourselves some slack and acknowledge that you are all trying to do your best in very very difficult circumstances.
Hi Bobbie. Whoa. Third person as in, Mother stated, " she never calls herself by her name", and she was referring to herself. Then she said, "you". That is how my days have been lately, like dealing with the royal rude dude. I think it was So Crates. I love that movie. My son looks like Keanu Reeves. Be Excellent to each other.
Dr. Weil? Hippocrates? I'm not sure, but it sounds old so must be him. I have Mother under the care of the best Geriatric Psychiatrist in our area. Recommended by 3 doctors. We have open discussions weekly about her behavior. She is also a HSP, so on top of the sensitivity her dementia intensifies, she cannot take anything without it causing a change in her behavior. She already has an irritable personality--tantrums, anger outbursts, critical towards others, arrogant--need I say more to paint the picture? Her dementia has not made her nicer. My heart muscle hurts this morning. Dr. is starting her on Zyprexa(?) today. No more Seroquel. I asked him about Xanax months ago when Linda mentioned it. He said she is too sensitive. Even though I am not as experienced as some of you, I do research, read about everything, and ask questions. Yesterday she was confused on top of confused. When I put her to bed last night she said she was looking for me all day and wanted to talk to me. I told her I was here and tried to talk to her and she did not recognize it was me. She replied, "Oh, I didn't know that." At one point yesterday she was screaming at whomever, as V and I were sitting with her at the dining table. She said, "Are you going to hit me and push me down again?" We looked at each other in shock, as that has never happened, but it may have happened in the last place she was in. I have caught her in lies many times--she will deny she said something in the next breath, with witnesses. Lastly, she is on the Exelon patch, 9.5 mg, was on 175 mg of Seroquel a day. Other meds are for thyroid and reflux. She is 5'4", weighs 132, is blind, and cannot walk around by herself, or "do" anything. She fumbles when drying her hands with a towel. We read to her, take her out to the mall, exercise her, constantly talk to her, play her favorite Irish music, and all that is not enough anymore. There is no way anyone will come out of this unscathed. Might as well be in an insane asylum. Ok, well, thank you again. I'll try not to talk about it. Marv and I are going to start looking into other options for the near future, as it is pretty obvious her behavior is not going to get any better. Love to you all. Have a great day. Hugs, christina
Good God, when the caregivers says what you have got beats all they have seen in twenty years That says something!!!! Let me DIED before I have to experience ANYTHING like that!!! This is plenty...Gah, got up a 3 Am, whatever, stay up air the house before the heat comes back on...not gonna be too hot butthe umidity has settled in. I did get to see a leeetle bit of rain at five, little storm burst right over our house. Anyhow fp gets up sees me setting here typing "Good Morning Jenny.." "mornin grnpa...when your dead..." and who ever heard it I don't care! He goes out and gets his precious breakfast, meds, tested from mom who QUIT HER JOB IS BLOWING HER SAVINGS AND NOT TAKING A DIME IN PAYMENT FOR HIS FUCKING CARE AND HE DOESN'T SAY SHIT TO HER... he really really needs to die!!!
Hope everyone is doing OK though I can tell from reading that few of us really are, so hang in there. What else is there?
DEEF!! Ya, skinny dipping! I'll do a cannonball and you guys get ready for the tsunami.
Christina! sorry nothing worked and if V tells you this is the worst in her 25 year career and I get it from what you've been telling us, we'll just say, AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH on your behalf.
annt! egads! broken in three places. Ow Ow Ow. hope you can get some help with Deef's Posey Vest and keep your mom contained and you not coming apart at the seams trying to. Congrats on the husband issue. I have been wondering how in the world you were coping with all of that. Maybe he can get himself some help but it is true that you can't do all of the work. At the end of the day it's just easier to not have to clean and pick up after a piggy. They have to at least meet you half way! This is after I cleaned the glass cooktop and if I knew how hard it would be to clean a glass cooktop then I wouldn't have bought one. I clean it and it stays clean for maybe an afternoon and then Nik cooks and it's trashed. He's used to restaurant cooking where someone comes in to scrub up. Well I go down this morning to make coffee (Linda!! Coffee!!) and there's grease splattered EVERYWHERE and tomato sauce burned onto the glass where just yesterday evening it was pristine. I am happy to clean up after he cooks but why this? It takes longer to clean it up than it did to mess it up. I remember his mother complaining that none of the men would clean up in the restaurant and she always had to do it all. (Greeks) She told me that when she was still speaking to me that is..... It reminds me of annt's watermelon story and that's how it is any time he cooks and frankly it's just not worth it. I'm happy with a salad, some cut up broccoli and a little cheese. You can't eat restaurant cooking all of the time but he refuses to eat my diet, cooks enough for an army and most of the time it tastes great as reflected in my roll..... When we were apart for 10 months, my cholesterol went down 100 points and my weight went down 25 pounds! Now of course everything is climbing northwards again even though I have been only eating a tiny portion of what he cooks but that still isn't good enough to stay healthy. I talk to him about taking a course at the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts where they teach Macrobiotic cooking but he's totally not motivated. Macrobiotic cooks and counselors are always employed and at a way higher rate than a regular cook. I have had the opportunity to stay at a macrobiotic camp in the past and the food is delicious and you feel GREAT! Ain't that the point? Let your food be your medicine and your medicine be your food. 20 Points. Who said that?
(Meanwhile, Nik is eating potato chips for breakfast......)
ok, love to all and it's another paper day. lovbob
Christina, Mom is like that most days. Blank stare when you are talking to her, and never a response unless she is feeling feisty that day! Sometimes you just have to walk away and let her have at it until she wears herself out. Is she on an antidepressant? How about xanax? Mom could not function at all without both of these. I know we don't want to give them anymore meds than necessary, but if they will calm her down, what's the harm? She is suffering when she is acting up. We give them meds when they suffer from pain, so why not when they are exhibiting signs of mental anguish? Obviously something is upsetting her enough to throw tantrums, so maybe it's time for a new med to help her calm down. Just saying! Been doing this with Mom for 5 years now, 2 while I still worked and 3 years going on 4 at home. Had many trying moments like you. She finally got control of her depression when the doctor started her on 30mgs of Paxil. Is your Mom on anything for her dementia? Aricept, Namenda? Anyway, hope all of this helps your mom and you! Been there, done that, and the battle still goes on! Hi everyone else! Just dropped Mom off at daycare and now have to make calls to see about getting her into another , as the one 2 streets over from us is closing on August 1st. I'm so ps'd off at how the whole thing was handled! More later!
"Top o' the mornin'" to all of you...I know I have missed out on sooo much, I'll never get caught up (or be able to catch ya'll up!!! LOL)...but KNOW THIS...I think of all of you every single day and remember you in my prayers...I know that I was brought to this place for a reason and it helps HEAPS just knowing that ya'll are here...what a sactuary, really!!! And, just knowing that I'm not in this BOAT alone and that I can come here anytime and say anything and that you all understand...WOW!!! I tote all of you around in a "little pocket" in my heart...I just wish I had more time to visit with ya...In the meantime, just wanted to "poke my head in!" and say "HEY!" Love, hugs and smooches to yas...til we meet again...take good care of yourselves!!! Your ever-loving, but elusive KAT...Meow! :-)
Deefer, thank you for your logic. Yes, I did all those things. Today was a lost cause. Nothing worked. She could not comprehend any words coming into her ears, and was totally void of response. It's really hard to explain it any other way, so I will refrain and just say one more time, thank you, all you lovable caregivers, for your time and advice. Love, Christina
Christina, maybe it's time to address your mom in YOUR best "Mom voice" and tell her she has to stop acting like she does. Tell her you are doing the best you can and have help so that you can cope better and be able to keep her home. Nothing else seems to help, and changing her meds every time she reacts by being difficult, will only make matters worse. Be firm and tell her she has to behave for V the same way she does for you, or you will be forced to find a place for her yet again. Let her know that you cannot go on this way without it ruining your health too. It is good to let her know she is safe and that you need someone to stay with her so you can get things done, but she also needs to be reminded that you can't be with her all the time! Annt, I bought Mom a "Posey Vest" online. It is strong mesh with a zipper up the back and 2 long, very strong ties on the sides. I use it to tie her into her recliner or glider rocker and she can't get up or out of it. She is in a wheelchair because she falls due to PD and her dementia has made her lose all sense when it comes to keeping herself safe. I also have a lap restraint for her wheelchair that goes around her waist and hooks onto the back of her wheelchair. As for getting up out of bed, she no longer does that at night. I have pillows under her mattress pad on one side of her bed. When I get her settled, I put pillows on the other side, again under the mattress pad, and she is essentially walled in and has stopped trying to get out on her own. She no longer gets up and falls during the night. I have found her on the floor, many times, in the morning, because I didn't hear her get up. It takes a little time, but their minds and bodies get conditioned to being tied or blocked in to an area. Jen, once again, FP is one nasty man! As for your gardening experience, I went out today and found that a mole had burrowed right through all my tomato and pepper plants. Luckily they don't like the roots, but they can still kill the plants if I don't stop them. So I flooded the holes tonight and am off to find rodent killer tomorrow. He better hope that he didn't harm my plants!!! There are cherry, roma, and early girl tomatoes all over my plants, and I want to see them grow and turn red!!! Can't wait for the full moon to be over!!! Mom is way antsy and all over the map in her behavior! Rossella, The days we don't have help are very scary and even more stressful. And this heat!!! We all need to go skinny dipping!!!! Bobbie, that would be easy for you, seeing how you have less to take off!!! Hope you get your paperwork done without much trouble! Time for bed!
annt . there is some kind of belt u can tie ur mom to bed or chair . find out what it is , maybe ask the dr ? i am so sorry she broke her arm . oh lord . ask deefer she knows what to do . she keeps her mom to wheelchair . xoxo
zannie for us all !!!! ant how horrible u have been thru . i am so glad u realy barked at ur hubby ! those were the words he needed to hear . woke him up ugh . hope he pulls up his pants and start facin the hot weather . hubby came home draggin , so damn hot in factory hubby cried , he took couple hrs nap and woke up felt better . i wrestle with him to get him in good mood and be happy . he needed it . ok sun is still out and about . guess i shall go give the dogs food and fresh water before putting them up for the nite , christina - does ur mom have any zannax ? it may help her out alot . i know it helps my dad when he s on the edge , i know it helps me too . hope the doc calls u back . alrighty i need to go put pa to bed and then haul 2 dogs out for a walk , pantpantpant , then im gonna see if i can flop on the couch and relax . mmmm xoxo
Ann, so sorry. Terrible time. I'm with you all the way, gf. Called Dr 3x today. Mother is out of control. Sister called and spoke to V, "oh, I knew this would happen. Whatever chris decides to do I support her completely." So easy to speak words, isn't it? Time for the BOAT, Ann. To the Boat, to the Boat, to the Boat Boat Boat...Swimming pools, Italy, lotteries, winning-- hey! What happened to Charlie Sheen?! Today was a total waste as far as I can tell. Have not heard back from doctor, and it was Limbo at our house. How is everyone else? I'm tired.
Hi y'all. I'm still here. I'm too tired to tell the whole story but the gist of it is Mom broke her arm. Took me 24 hrs to get her some real help. ER took xray and said get an ortho surgen. Sent her home in a sling with percocet. It was the ball of the left humerus in the shoulder socket. Broke in three pieces. Finally got a surgen and he doesn't want to do surgery due to her age. She will be ok to just let it heal. She won't have good range of motion, but who does at 86? Main thing is that I've got to keep it immobile. And she absolutely cannot fall again. No pressure there! I'm at the end of my rope with her falling all the time. But I don't know what to do to keep her from getting up every 5 mins looking for me or just wandering around. And she will not use the walker or quad cane. So what do I do?? I think I'll tell her that if she falls again they will put her in a nursing home cause I'm not keeping her safe. Not far from the truth anyway. I put a doorbell on her bed today so she can ring it if she needs to get up. If she will. She won't do anything else I ask her, don't know why I would think she will do this. So no trip to VA for us now. I shoulda known it. Also nearly split up with hubby. Still taking that one under consideration. I told him to pack up his stuff and go live with his parents... that I can't take care of mama and keep the house clean and cook all the meals and do all the laundry and pay all the bills and fix the plumbing and cut the grass and pick up after his sorry butt too, and since he's not bringing in an income and mom is......well, he can just go. I was dead serious too. Next morning he says I was right and he will do better. Uh huh.... Black hole lookin better and better..
Hi Bobbie and Linda, Thank you for your input. I have/am saying all those things. It is not good enough for her. She was fine until our caregiver got here at 10. I was downstairs and witnessed the games just now. V says she has never seen anyone like her in 25 years of caring for dementia patients.
Christina! don't hide. get her used to the fact that you are there and the caregiver is there and you are 'just around the corner' and mom you are not alone. I am here and so is 'caregiver'. I am handling so and so right now and don't be afraid you are safe and sound. Safe and Sound..... love you and let us know if that works. Once they get worked up into a tantrum it's a bear but remember, you are the adult so just be all grown up about it and when you get by yourself again you can go your own kind of nuts. Breathe and don't internalize her crazy. lovbob
she wants u all to herself . doesnt trust anyone ! caregiver should be kind and soft spoken ? is she too rough ? or maybe ya shall stand there and watch ? till she gets use to the new lady ? aww i sorry ... my dad is the same way he dont like strangers . well i dont either but i love you all !!!
It's noon, Mother is acting up again with caregiver. Acting like she is confused, having a tantrum. Screaming for me. I am hiding again. What do I do? Any advice? Someone? Help. christina
Linda, You are an Angel Caregiver. I will never be that, so I cook. Hey--How is your new puppy?! is he licking Pa and peeing all over the house?! I do love other people's dogs, but I do not have the patience for a dog. I am cat type. Meow. Purr, Hiss sometimes, maybe growl once in a while. cover up my messes. haha!!!
christina ! i could never cook like u can . holy crap .! sounds so good !!! makin me hungry now . here we eat meat and potatoes maybe beans .. i like to heat things up and be done and over with , i do not like to stand in kitchen and makin every inch of items into food . i do that with chilli and that is it . then i cry cuz dishes all wavin at me , wash me ohhh yoohoo dry me ! put me away u slave ! i like to go in the kitchen and get the hell out . :-) if we all do get on the boat then christina shall be the chef . bobbie will only make coffee . :-) miz and i sit out and smoke and ring the bells . rest of you swim and swim . oh wait a min rossella is the only one that can touch the bell . remmy she shines em . :-) ohh im lovin this !
pa ate his 1030 pm bfast lastnight and then slept like a rock . didnt need to give him any zannie so thats good . woke up 830 crying , got him changed in bed and brought bfast in bed , ate like there s no tmr . now he s cat nappin . i realy do need to get him up and change the bed sheets . he just needs to get up . hate to try to move him god fearin my back . miz - i know im afraid that when pa goes to a better place that it will mess me up big time . i know it will , sucks to say uhh i dont have any parents , i am now the parent and granny poo . i ll cry if i become great granny poo .. walked my dogs while ago . happy campers they were . front is cooler than out back so theyre chillin out out front . theres a heat advisory out today . wish i had a pool . :-( christina im gonna go ck online about the sandles u were tellin me about . sounds like i do want one . never gotten around to buy one yet . i shall go ck em out . have a cool day you all . xoxox
Morning, Rosella, I am available to cook for your Mom. I make my own sauce, gnocchi, use lots of garlic, etc. I have never had one complaint about my cooking. I hear Deefer is a fantastic cook, too. Maybe we could take turns? My dream is to make the perfect cannoli one of these days. I want the shell to crumble more and not be so hard, have the perfect sweetness to the filling, not too many hard chocolate chips, but shaved chocolate, so it melts in your mouth, I am thinking an orange flavor, with some candied fruit, and some slivered toasted almonds for crunch. What is authentic cannoli like in Italy? Could you answer on my wall when you get a chance? Getting Mother off Biaxin yesterday, which was given after 5 days of Prednizone for a wheezing cough, seemed like a miracle. I am curious to see how she behaves today when our wonderful daytime caregiver is here. If she starts with the jumping up, not listening, crying for me, then we know she is purely manipulating. I am going to keep an open mind and hope for the best. I certainly do not want to hope for the worst, or expect it, even though patterns exist. You could call it optimism, or you could call it slow to learn. Whatever, I'm an idiot. Taking Mother in for her hearing aid fitting today. I'm hoping to get a walk in before the fog burns off. Inflamed nerves in feet are a bit better thanks to Abeo sandals which separate the metatarsals. Hey Linda, you might like those! got them at Walking Company. More later. Have a great day, Everyone! Love, christina
Hi Everyone. Black hole on Saturday, better yesterday, back again today. But I know I have it better than those of you still in the trenches so I hate to bitch. Sometimes I really don't know how I did it. The day to day stuff of taking care of Mom. But I did and I'll never regret it. But I swear it changes you. Leaves a hole and I reckon I am trying to fill it with food and that makes me even more miserable. Sorry to be so depressing. Just checking in. Love yous!! Angels each and every one of you.
Yay for Christina who had a decent day! Nutz for everyone who is dealing with , um, nutz..........
I went to visit my parents' graves yesterday. Just sat there for a long time wondering wtf is it all about except to try and have fun. You work your ass off and then you are supposed to have fun. My mom and dad worked so hard and now they are together again and I hope they are having some sort of celestial happy. I am going to see if I can add my dad's name to the donated books to the Friends Library. I'm hoping for a little brass nameplate or something. Friends of the Friends LIbrary. I crack myself up.
OK, a paper day for me and boy do I suck at papers so this is very difficult but not as gross as cleaning up poop. Man I did my time. Other than that, just reading y'alls posts and handing out stars. That's how you know I've been there.
Jen! thanks for the kind words and Christina thank you also. Means more than you know to me. Guess I'm feeling a bit down in the hole myself but no where near what you guys are coping with so vent on you guys and live!
Rossella! you have another picture up with your face in the Cat! Cool!
Miz! where are ya?
Everybody! fight the black hole and the insanity of the coming moon!
Gee, I hate to be the one to give good news, but maybe it will start a roll for all of you. Mother was just about perfect in her behavior today. Gave her minimum Seroquel, and she was happy and complimenting me and laughing all day. A few weird comments, but hey, she has dementia! My husband said wow-- best day he has ever experienced with her. He rescued us at the market after golf. I was wondering how I was going to cart 2 cases of Aquafina on Mother's lap in her wheelchair. Ta dah! Had our neighbor over for dinner and I made baked ziti alfredo with asparagus, artichoke hearts and caramelized onions. Salad and garlic toast and plenty of wine. Neighbor is Marine Captain leaving for Afghanistan in 2 weeks. Kids were here, had a great time:) before dinner had a couple of crackers and cheese. I gave Mother a Wheat Thin. She asked, Does it bend? I said No, Mother, it cracks. That's why they call it a cracker. Do you want a bender with cheese? She is a good straight man, Bobbie. We had such a normal day, I can't believe it. Now what.? Haha. Good night all you beautiful people: poopy, loopy, and soupy. Heehee. Love you all, Christina xo
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Mom is so over the top right now! Full moon Friday. Must be a doozy ! She is crazy busy all the time and wearing us out trying to keep her out of trouble. I swear she has more hands than Buddha! Nothing is safe within her grasp!
Had to give her extra meds tonight just to calm her down so she could rest, never mind go to sleep.
As for lazy husbands, Annt, we should get ours together in a room for a week and see who would do something productive first!
Be Excellent to each other.
Hippocrates, whose name would be pronounced by Bill and Ted on their Excellent Adventure as Hippo Crates for sho...
3rd person, eh? As in: "Mother is not amused with the service today in this Hotel....."
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
lovbob
Love,
Christina
BOAT!!!
lovbob
I have Mother under the care of the best Geriatric Psychiatrist in our area. Recommended by 3 doctors. We have open discussions weekly about her behavior. She is also a HSP, so on top of the sensitivity her dementia intensifies, she cannot take anything without it causing a change in her behavior. She already has an irritable personality--tantrums, anger outbursts, critical towards others, arrogant--need I say more to paint the picture? Her dementia has not made her nicer. My heart muscle hurts this morning. Dr. is starting her on Zyprexa(?) today. No more Seroquel. I asked him about Xanax months ago when Linda mentioned it. He said she is too sensitive. Even though I am not as experienced as some of you, I do research, read about everything, and ask questions. Yesterday she was confused on top of confused. When I put her to bed last night she said she was looking for me all day and wanted to talk to me. I told her I was here and tried to talk to her and she did not recognize it was me. She replied, "Oh, I didn't know that." At one point yesterday she was screaming at whomever, as V and I were sitting with her at the dining table. She said, "Are you going to hit me and push me down again?" We looked at each other in shock, as that has never happened, but it may have happened in the last place she was in. I have caught her in lies many times--she will deny she said something in the next breath, with witnesses.
Lastly, she is on the Exelon patch, 9.5 mg, was on 175 mg of Seroquel a day. Other meds are for thyroid and reflux. She is 5'4", weighs 132, is blind, and cannot walk around by herself, or "do" anything. She fumbles when drying her hands with a towel. We read to her, take her out to the mall, exercise her, constantly talk to
her, play her favorite Irish music, and all that is not enough anymore. There is no way anyone will come out of this unscathed. Might as well be in an insane asylum.
Ok, well, thank you again. I'll try not to talk about it. Marv and I are going to start looking into other options for the near future, as it is pretty obvious her behavior is not going to get any better.
Love to you all. Have a great day. Hugs, christina
He goes out and gets his precious breakfast, meds, tested from mom who QUIT HER JOB IS BLOWING HER SAVINGS AND NOT TAKING A DIME IN PAYMENT FOR HIS FUCKING CARE AND HE DOESN'T SAY SHIT TO HER... he really really needs to die!!!
Hope everyone is doing OK though I can tell from reading that few of us really are, so hang in there. What else is there?
DEEF!! Ya, skinny dipping! I'll do a cannonball and you guys get ready for the tsunami.
Christina! sorry nothing worked and if V tells you this is the worst in her 25 year career and I get it from what you've been telling us, we'll just say,
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH on your behalf.
annt! egads! broken in three places. Ow Ow Ow. hope you can get some help with Deef's Posey Vest and keep your mom contained and you not coming apart at the seams trying to.
Congrats on the husband issue. I have been wondering how in the world you were coping with all of that. Maybe he can get himself some help but it is true that you can't do all of the work. At the end of the day it's just easier to not have to clean and pick up after a piggy. They have to at least meet you half way!
This is after I cleaned the glass cooktop and if I knew how hard it would be to clean a glass cooktop then I wouldn't have bought one.
I clean it and it stays clean for maybe an afternoon and then Nik cooks and it's trashed. He's used to restaurant cooking where someone comes in to scrub up. Well I go down this morning to make coffee (Linda!! Coffee!!) and there's grease splattered EVERYWHERE and tomato sauce burned onto the glass where just yesterday evening it was pristine. I am happy to clean up after he cooks but why this? It takes longer to clean it up than it did to mess it up. I remember his mother complaining that none of the men would clean up in the restaurant and she always had to do it all. (Greeks)
She told me that when she was still speaking to me that is.....
It reminds me of annt's watermelon story and that's how it is any time he cooks and frankly it's just not worth it. I'm happy with a salad, some cut up broccoli and a little cheese. You can't eat restaurant cooking all of the time but he refuses to eat my diet, cooks enough for an army and most of the time it tastes great as reflected in my roll..... When we were apart for 10 months, my cholesterol went down 100 points and my weight went down 25 pounds! Now of course everything is climbing northwards again even though I have been only eating a tiny portion of what he cooks but that still isn't good enough to stay healthy.
I talk to him about taking a course at the Kushi Institute in Massachusetts where they teach Macrobiotic cooking but he's totally not motivated. Macrobiotic cooks and counselors are always employed and at a way higher rate than a regular cook. I have had the opportunity to stay at a macrobiotic camp in the past and the food is delicious and you feel GREAT! Ain't that the point?
Let your food be your medicine and your medicine be your food.
20 Points. Who said that?
(Meanwhile, Nik is eating potato chips for breakfast......)
ok, love to all and it's another paper day.
lovbob
Anyway, hope all of this helps your mom and you! Been there, done that, and the battle still goes on!
Hi everyone else! Just dropped Mom off at daycare and now have to make calls to see about getting her into another , as the one 2 streets over from us is closing on August 1st. I'm so ps'd off at how the whole thing was handled!
More later!
Love,
Christina
Annt, I bought Mom a "Posey Vest" online. It is strong mesh with a zipper up the back and 2 long, very strong ties on the sides. I use it to tie her into her recliner or glider rocker and she can't get up or out of it. She is in a wheelchair because she falls due to PD and her dementia has made her lose all sense when it comes to keeping herself safe. I also have a lap restraint for her wheelchair that goes around her waist and hooks onto the back of her wheelchair. As for getting up out of bed, she no longer does that at night. I have pillows under her mattress pad on one side of her bed. When I get her settled, I put pillows on the other side, again under the mattress pad, and she is essentially walled in and has stopped trying to get out on her own. She no longer gets up and falls during the night. I have found her on the floor, many times, in the morning, because I didn't hear her get up. It takes a little time, but their minds and bodies get conditioned to being tied or blocked in to an area.
Jen, once again, FP is one nasty man! As for your gardening experience, I went out today and found that a mole had burrowed right through all my tomato and pepper plants. Luckily they don't like the roots, but they can still kill the plants if I don't stop them. So I flooded the holes tonight and am off to find rodent killer tomorrow. He better hope that he didn't harm my plants!!! There are cherry, roma, and early girl tomatoes all over my plants, and I want to see them grow and turn red!!!
Can't wait for the full moon to be over!!! Mom is way antsy and all over the map in her behavior!
Rossella, The days we don't have help are very scary and even more stressful. And this heat!!! We all need to go skinny dipping!!!!
Bobbie, that would be easy for you, seeing how you have less to take off!!! Hope you get your paperwork done without much trouble!
Time for bed!
xoxo
ant how horrible u have been thru . i am so glad u realy barked at ur hubby ! those were the words he needed to hear . woke him up ugh . hope he pulls up his pants and start facin the hot weather .
hubby came home draggin , so damn hot in factory hubby cried , he took couple hrs nap and woke up felt better . i wrestle with him to get him in good mood and be happy . he needed it .
ok sun is still out and about . guess i shall go give the dogs food and fresh water before putting them up for the nite ,
christina - does ur mom have any zannax ? it may help her out alot . i know it helps my dad when he s on the edge , i know it helps me too . hope the doc calls u back .
alrighty i need to go put pa to bed and then haul 2 dogs out for a walk , pantpantpant , then im gonna see if i can flop on the couch and relax . mmmm xoxo
Called Dr 3x today. Mother is out of control. Sister called and spoke to V, "oh, I knew this would happen. Whatever chris decides to do I support her completely."
So easy to speak words, isn't it? Time for the BOAT, Ann.
To the Boat, to the Boat, to the Boat Boat Boat...Swimming pools, Italy, lotteries, winning-- hey! What happened to Charlie Sheen?!
Today was a total waste as far as I can tell. Have not heard back from doctor, and it was Limbo at our house. How is everyone else? I'm tired.
Also nearly split up with hubby. Still taking that one under consideration. I told him to pack up his stuff and go live with his parents... that I can't take care of mama and keep the house clean and cook all the meals and do all the laundry and pay all the bills and fix the plumbing and cut the grass and pick up after his sorry butt too, and since he's not bringing in an income and mom is......well, he can just go. I was dead serious too. Next morning he says I was right and he will do better. Uh huh.... Black hole lookin better and better..
Safe and Sound.....
love you and let us know if that works. Once they get worked up into a tantrum it's a bear but remember, you are the adult so just be all grown up about it and when you get by yourself again you can go your own kind of nuts. Breathe and don't internalize her crazy.
lovbob
aww i sorry ... my dad is the same way he dont like strangers . well i dont either but i love you all !!!
Any advice? Someone? Help.
christina
"WHAT?"
"That there?"
"OH, I scraped my arm on the wall..."
"When was this?"
"Last night, them sheets were to one side an I pulled em up and scraped my arm on the wall..."
.................yes, bath time, new discoveries old irritations...
whatever. Have as decent a week as you can everyone!!!
pa ate his 1030 pm bfast lastnight and then slept like a rock . didnt need to give him any zannie so thats good . woke up 830 crying , got him changed in bed and brought bfast in bed , ate like there s no tmr . now he s cat nappin .
i realy do need to get him up and change the bed sheets . he just needs to get up . hate to try to move him god fearin my back .
miz - i know im afraid that when pa goes to a better place that it will mess me up big time . i know it will , sucks to say uhh i dont have any parents , i am now the parent and granny poo . i ll cry if i become great granny poo ..
walked my dogs while ago . happy campers they were . front is cooler than out back so theyre chillin out out front . theres a heat advisory out today .
wish i had a pool . :-(
christina im gonna go ck online about the sandles u were tellin me about . sounds like i do want one . never gotten around to buy one yet . i shall go ck em out .
have a cool day you all . xoxox
Rosella, I am available to cook for your Mom. I make my own sauce, gnocchi, use lots of garlic, etc. I have never had one complaint about my cooking. I hear Deefer is a fantastic cook, too. Maybe we could take turns? My dream is to make the perfect cannoli one of these days. I want the shell to crumble more and not be so hard, have the perfect sweetness to the filling, not too many hard chocolate chips, but shaved chocolate, so it melts in your mouth, I am thinking an orange flavor, with some candied fruit, and some slivered toasted almonds for crunch. What is authentic cannoli like in Italy? Could you answer on my wall when you get a chance?
Getting Mother off Biaxin yesterday, which was given after 5 days of Prednizone for a wheezing cough, seemed like a miracle. I am curious to see how she behaves today when our wonderful daytime caregiver is here. If she starts with the jumping up, not listening, crying for me, then we know she is purely manipulating.
I am going to keep an open mind and hope for the best. I certainly do not want to hope for the worst, or expect it, even though patterns exist. You could call it optimism, or you could call it slow to learn. Whatever, I'm an idiot.
Taking Mother in for her hearing aid fitting today. I'm hoping to get a walk in before the fog burns off. Inflamed nerves in feet are a bit better thanks to Abeo sandals which separate the metatarsals. Hey Linda, you might like those! got them at Walking Company. More later. Have a great day, Everyone! Love, christina
love,
miz
Yay for Christina who had a decent day!
Nutz for everyone who is dealing with , um, nutz..........
I went to visit my parents' graves yesterday. Just sat there for a long time wondering wtf is it all about except to try and have fun. You work your ass off and then you are supposed to have fun. My mom and dad worked so hard and now they are together again and I hope they are having some sort of celestial happy.
I am going to see if I can add my dad's name to the donated books to the Friends Library. I'm hoping for a little brass nameplate or something. Friends of the Friends LIbrary. I crack myself up.
OK, a paper day for me and boy do I suck at papers so this is very difficult but not as gross as cleaning up poop. Man I did my time.
Other than that, just reading y'alls posts and handing out stars. That's how you know I've been there.
Jen! thanks for the kind words and Christina thank you also. Means more than you know to me. Guess I'm feeling a bit down in the hole myself but no where near what you guys are coping with so vent on you guys and live!
Rossella! you have another picture up with your face in the Cat! Cool!
Miz! where are ya?
Everybody! fight the black hole and the insanity of the coming moon!
Love you guys and more later.
lovbob
Afghanistan in 2 weeks. Kids were here, had a great time:) before dinner had a couple of crackers and cheese. I gave Mother a Wheat Thin. She asked, Does it bend? I said No, Mother, it cracks. That's why they call it a cracker. Do you want a bender with cheese? She is a good straight man, Bobbie. We had such a normal day, I can't believe it. Now what.? Haha. Good night all you beautiful people: poopy, loopy, and soupy. Heehee. Love you all, Christina xo