Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

mom dictates! even as she's sick she still dishes out orders and how to do. When I bathe her, she gives me the steps one by one, even after I've been doing it for 5 months.

Hey Rep I have to catch myself sometimes so I'm not this way with my boyz.

I meant the adult thing. I think with my mom she can only see me as a squealing baby with a full diaper. She seems to have skipped all of the progress in between.

pamela-oh, dear. Mom must always be the boss, huh? That must be really tiring.

i think rep meant about telling my mom "im an adult" blah blah.. and i think rep is right.. i think most parents would laugh if we told them that..

wouldn't listen to what Rep, a road trip? My mom wouldn't agree to it, unless she was in CHARGE of it.

"I'm an adult and I know what I'm doing..." neither of my parents would ever listen to that. Even before all of the health problems. Hope it works for you, though

havent a clue pamela!!! im wondering the same!!!but isnt it exciting.. i love road trips

I was away for a couple of days, missed a lot of action. Now I see Bobby change her mind about the NH, or did she, or are they taking a road trip then placing mom.

Bobbie let me know.

rep, i went on youtube and looked it up...i think thats an excellent theme song for us lol

I havent pulled the "im an adult and know what im doing" card yet.. it seems so weird when im living in her house etc..

Did you guys ever see Muppet Treasure Island? There's a song in there called Cabin Fever, and one of the lines goes "this once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward." I think I'm there......whee....

Big, BIG hug Kelley-I know no one wants to shout at the person they're caring for, but, dangit, didn't it feel GOOD? My mom doesn't do the stinkeye, she does the movement control. You stand up, "Where're you going?" You start taking out the trash, "What are you doing?" You take a breath, "Yes?" I try to talk to my father in the kitchen while she's in the living room, "What? What are you saying?" &!@#$$!%! Flockin' leave me alone!!!! ugh. And she doesn't have dementia, so I can't even logically explain her behavior. So, anyways, hope things get better.

bobbie-enjoy your road trip & good luck buying a mobile home & good luck at the docs! But, is she still going to nh or not? Does it depend on what you find out with the heart murmur?

Oh, since I'm rambling anyway, you guys wanna know how my mind works? Didya see how many posts we're up to? Over 200. when someone new comes to the site and they see the topic "Grossed out" with over two hundred posts, they'll either start to laugh or scream, maybe both :) Welcome to all newcomers

There goes the boat...

About?

OK I'm really confused now!

I'm certifiable.

We're leaving in 5 min to check out motorhomes.

I know this is nuts, but for some reason it makes sense to me.

Hard to see mom;s stink eye while I'm driving. Love to drive, no kidding. Drive the box the thing came in, no worries.

For the first time in ages, I'm excited. AnyHoo, when the time comes the little motorhome will make a great deposit on our boat!

KelleyBean.... we'll be coming up 95.

No solid plans yet, mom;s cardiologist appt is Thurs, but no harm in looking!

Welcome to our new crew: Nancy, Lach, Ed, betcha I missed some.

Pamela! That was a big laugh for me. got excited about the B-Ball and spilled beer on the keyboard. Funny!

Back in a few hours with update!!

lovbob

Wait wait wait, Bobbie.. this means.. mom isnt going into the respite care for 2 months? you arent flying east? instead youre driving?

Good morning/afternoon salts!

the line: '...my mom's jibber jabber wrapped around my toothbrush.' Ed. that's hilarious.
What did you sons say during the boxer shorts roast? Grossed out by your boys' boys!

KelleyBean, my mom used to do the same to me as far as the accusations and she can still shoot a stink eye with the best of them. Not funny. I used to have to hear almost daily about how I did drugs in HS and I slept around, etc etc. I never did drugs in HS and I never slept around, etc. etc. but that didn't stop her from telling me what I did and who I was for a long time.
The LAST time she pulled that I literally blew up. I called her the C word and told her what the truth was and added so help me God, if you say that to me one more time I'm dropping you off at Shady Acres.
That was about 18 months ago and I have never heard it again. I felt bad about blowing up so hard but jeez, listening to that was not on the list. And, for me in this instance, it worked.

She doesn't accuse me anymore but i still get a good dose of stink eye on a regular basis and you're right, it will put you in a bad mood unless you follow Trawler Bob's recommendations:

1) say to your mom: I'm going to the store to get some cigarettes.
2) don't go back.
3) call brother and alert him to the new developments.
4) Send postcard from Aruba

I know that's all bs and not an answer but don't stop dreaming about what you want!!

Have the cardiologist appt this week for mom and we shall see what we shall see.

People in NJ are mad at me for not flying in today and I can't take that either. It feels like everyone wants a piece.

Mom and I are going to look at some little used motorhomes today, It's beautiful here in SoCal and a road trip might be the answer. I'm bored bored bored with all of this, I have to get mom back to NJ dead or alive (Daddy's there with a spot next to him for mom), so in my crazy reasoning alive is better and since I have mega road experience (road comedian for years) I started looking for 'land yachts' and found some affordable ones so today I will find out whether they suck and are gross or if it's all doable.
KelleyBean, if we do the motorhome thing, we will be coming up through your way! Where's everybody? We would go across on the 10, possibly go to Fla since I want to look at the Cape Coral/Ft. Meyers area because there's some cheep housing options down there with boat docks built in!

Big plans beats big drama.
Love you guys and check in later.

lovbob

You want gross? My m-i-l has used her hairbrush before to brush her teeth and was it nasty trying to get the toothpaste off her hairbrush! She has also brushed her teeth with the toothbrush and toothpaste. I thought, "OK, I can leave and come back." WRONG!!!!!!! After she got done with the toothbrush in her teeth, she proceeded to brush her hair with the same toothbrush! Yuck! Another is she used the garbage can for urinating in, which was next to the toilet. Now the gc is right outside the bathroom. She's deficated on the carpet by her brown chair (A wise investment in a carpet shampooer!),
she's urinated on the carpet as well as the bathroom floor. She also deficated on the bathroom floor at a different time. All of this is YUCK! Just by seeing what she has done with her toothbrush and hairbrush, whenever it's shower day for her,
(she has to use the one upstairs, because that's the only shower) and we use that one (that's the main b/r). I remove all toothbrushes and hairbrushes and combs. I throw out the disposable cups (I don't want her fingering them) Half the time that she goes to the b/r, she forgets to wash her hands unless someone's with her. BTW, my youngest s-i-l comes over to help give her shower. But I put everything up that's in her reach. I change the towels after she's out of there and out to lunch with my s-i-l.

This isn't as gross, but she misunderstood what I said. I told her to wash her hands with soap and water. She proceeded to the sink, while I turned on the water and pointed to the soap that she was to use. I just went in the next room to start laundry, came back and found she was starting to wash her hair with the hand soap. It was right before bed too! I had to wash her hair with the shampoo and get the hand soap out
of her hair before it dried and became itchy. Luckily, she didn't have to get up early for anything the next morning.

Hello everyone, been away for a while, got so excited about the Basketball games I spilled beer on my keyboard, had to air it out, then it still didn't work so I had to change keyboards all together. Been working too.

Haven't read all the threads, but i will and I'm hoping everyone and your loved ones had a great weekend, or as close to it as possible. Hope you found a little me time, and a little family time.

Welcome to Nancy, hope you're gearing up for a wam-bam-cruise as we continue to prepare.

Have a great day everyone!

Pam

Welcome, Nancy!! Yes, it is wonderful comedic relief. This site is a God send.

I have not laughed so hard in a long time Here I though I was the only one going through this. I will have to be on this site every day this is great!

Hi all! What a growing thread! Our trials brought us here, and our dreams will take us away. Hope you're all feeling well, and your loved ones doing better today, miz, Kell, Bobbie, et al... I'm the the canal, heading toward the open waters today. Probate paperwork calls. Watch the rocks and undertow. (SOS!) I'm looking for the lighthouse and smooth sailing. A little snow this morn, and hope no storm's a brewin'! I wishing the same for ya'll, fellow island hoppers! Welcome Ed and Nancy! G'day!

I feel for all of you. I take care of my 86 year old Dad and feel there is pee all over my house. I should own stock in plug ins and bleach. What I recommed you to do it to keep things you dont want her to get into out of her reach. Its more work for you but you have peace of mind that it is ok you to use.

I'll be a designated drive too...unless I start drinking by then. ;)

Kelley, i'm so sorry about what you've been going through with your mom. That has got to be so frustrating, angry making, infuriating and so on and so forth.

SS, so nice to see you!! Kelley, so glad things are going well with your guy. I hope it continues!! You soooo deserve it!! bobbie, I hope it's not serious with your mom. I do know people can live normal lives with heart murmurs as some on here have indicated.

Hello Ship Mates!! I was sad to hear about Phil too. He was too darn young for that.

I'm going through all the posts that I missed when I was out of town. Hubby's back is better but still not good. He got some anti-inflammatories but he's still in pain and his stomach hurts today. Poor guy. :( He's driving my boss and I to a class tomorrow. It's a 3 hour drive. I hope he's up to it. He gets to go antiquing while we have our class. He loves to do that.

BOBBIE:

If your mom only has a few hairs left, a toothbrush is perfect. I've used mine to comb my eyebrows, never someone else's.
I'm fussy -- if not overly territorial -- about personal hygiene items and underwear.

My sons, when they started dating at 16, snuck into my bedroom one evening and borrowed some satin boxers, had them dry cleaned a couple of days later, and put them back in the drawer. I thought I had misplaced them, but when I noticed they weren't folded military style I literally snapped. And, of course, I let my sons have it while I burned the boxers in the backyard.

Around that time my mother came to spend a few days with us, but forgot to bring toiletries. I gave her a traveling kits, a washcloth, and bath towel. She put them in her suitcase. I was playing a tennis tournament that weekend, and in the constant I didn't rush didn't pay much attention to the fact that my toothbrush, antiperspirant, and towel were damp and out of place. She was using them, but lied straight to my face with such sincere expression I almost believed her. So I went to her suitcase and found the traveling kit and towels in mint condition. She kept saying "But I'm your mother," but to me that's a built in excuse to wrong your children and then expect them to feel grateful. To make a long story short, she was on the next Amtrak to New Brunswick, NJ that same afternoon.

I'm not sure which is more disgusting: my sons' privates in my boxers or mom's jibber-jabber wrapped around my toothbrush.
That's a violation I'll never forgive and never forget. I can share a lot of things, but personal items are just that: personal.

You give her so much grace. But they're abusing you.

Sorry to be so blunt.

I understand the $*#_! There is a better way.

Hi everyone..
Again cant sleep. Moms sour mood turned worse today. Of course, that led me to be in a sour mood. i should have known better. i always give in to the attitude. i know she doesnt understand how she treats me sometimes, i know she doesnt know what what shes doing or saying half the time. and silly me tries to tell her why im upset, talk about it instead of just stewing.. and she just turns her back on me. but im expected to sit and listen to whatever she has to say..

she basically trapped me in a corner the other night and stared at me for 2 hours and still wondered why i was getting so upset. she was sitting there yelling out numbers to me.. she doesnt realize she cant count very well anymore and she was making no sense and thought me stupid for not following what she was saying.. accused me of stealing again..then called me stupid because i mixed up 2 bills(which there were no 2 bills)

i finally threw a temper tantrum and told her to get out of my face or i wasnt doing one more $%^& thing for her..

i know alot of people complain about their siblings and whatnot and i try not to.. but.. when shes on one of her "kelley stole" tyraids.. i just want to give up.. my brother then gets involved and im sick of the interrogation... i screamed at my mom last time.. "where is all the money im getting from these stolen objects? i barely eat, because im not allowed to, so its not there, i dont go out, so its not THERE.. MY bills havent been paid in over a year so its not there either....so what am i doing with the gains of stolen objects?" she says "i dont know, but i KNOW youve been stealing it all"

quite honestly, if people had to go through what i go through when "somethings been stolen" no one would ever steal again..

i know i know i know.. its the dementia.. she loses things and blames it on others..... got that.. but $%^&!!!!!!!

SecretSis, welcome back! A landing strip is a fantastic idea, I think. Oh, and I'm also DD :) (lots of alkies in my family, so I avoid it jus to be safe)

kelley-sorry Mom is in such a bug-up-the-butt mood, but at least Keith is going great! It's so wonderful that you met someone so special. I'm still jealous!

bobbie-I hadn't watched Deadliest Catch before, but I knew who the Captain was and I was shocked when he died. The narrator of DC is Mike Rowe, who has his own show called Dirty Jobs, and that's the one I'm hooked on (that and Mythbusters). He has a dreamy voice.......sorry, got lost for a second. And I'm almost afraid to ask....a pig's mask, apple butter and a snowshoe? At least it's not boring.

Well.. your plan cant be a gross plan as i think we're all pretty much immune to gross by now..