Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

We need bathrooms with a drain in the center of the floor. We need bidets!

didja hear the one about the guy who thought it was a drinking fountain in the bathroom. Couldn't figure out why he had to bend over so far....

Gross can come and go. Sorry KelleyBean, hang in there and use the vicks vap-o-rub in yer noseholes. You could start out with a big bucket of hot suds and when the show starts........ man doesn't that sound like an evening of culture! Stool culture, maybe.

Well if I didn't know what to do on my own end, I do now. I just checked my BP at CVS and it's 147/85. NEVER had high BP ever before. I always had a 120 over 75 and around there. Checked it twice and the second time it was 141/85, but jeez, not good and testament that this stuff is not good for some of us.

Now I have to go to the doc and start up with this whole program. I am not amused.

Another reason I wanted to go float a boat. Being on the water is good for you and calming (unless we're sinking) and I want to swim in the crystal clear coves of the Bahamas.

Where's Miz... I think she's in Chicago today? Pam is having drama, Pirategal, you hang in there too. It's tough when your mom's insides don't work right and it's tougher for us when we don't know where the truth is!

Good to see you Linda, give your Dad a hug for us and tell him he can hold a seminar on how to be a class act when your kids are trying their best to take care of you.

That's a genius idea about the pictures, Kelley. Love it. Enjoy your day of freedom and I hope you sleep until Noon Los Angeles time!

Call Keith and invite him out! C'mon gurl!

Secret Sis.. did you get any sundresses yet?

Rep, I was screwing around with the Pig mask, apple butter and snowshoe and found out that we're going to need another pig mask and a Nixon mask to go with it. We have enough apple butter but only one snowshoe but that's ok because we're not going to use that on a foot. If you have any idea where this is going please let ME know.

Time for chores.

lovbob

Hardbacke..yes I know to treat people on how you want to be treated...but then again you don't have the mental stuff to deal with now do you..and I was making a joke about the barn!

Kelly I am hoping that they glean enough from the x-rays and I don't have to try to get her to drink or take all that...yikes it's tough enough to get her to take meds.

Pirate.. my moms got a colonoscopy scheduled for the 9th.. for right nowshe has to drink the miralax 2 times a day.. 8 tablespoons of stool softener, lots of fluids and eat alot of salads.. though if i remember correctly, lettuce has potassium.. hmm anyways, 2 days beforehand, she cant eat anything solid and has to drink some sort of stool softener every hour.. then night before she has to drink a gallon of some cleanser nonstop for 2 hours....... O_O

or something like that.. yeah... my mom is that bad..

so yes.. im REALLY looking forward to all that... not.. i can see it now.. all over the floor, walls, clothes..

i was wrong.. i can still be grossed out.. as i am now..

guess thats where you ;ll be going pirategal . when u become a old woman ...
not me !! im stayin right here in my own home .
just remember treat the person the way you want to be treated . my mom has always told me , linda u treat people the way you want to be treated . my mom passed away 64 yrs old with cancer , so ihave pa with me of course he s a good guy and i dont have all that crazy stuff going on here like you all do . pa 86 yrs old is like a lit boy , loves tv and sleep . he gives me no pblm cuz he doesnt want to be at nursing home . i treat him the way i want people to treat me when i get old .
mom sure has taught me well .

Ahoy gals and mates, today was the visit to the doc about the constant whining about the constipation. All her doc said was to give her the Miralax everyday (they never told us that in the beginning how long to take it) I had been giving her stool softener (gel tabs) that the caregiver bought...and even that stuff you take when you go for a colonoscopy...I gave her that enema last friday (which she said did nothing)...well today when I got over there she said she pooped yesterday..oh but that was nothing to her...so anyway the doctor said she should also take cillium...something like metamusil...and take both every day for 2 weeks...also we had to schedule an x-ray and we will see what happens after that...the caregiver will take her on Thursday...(same day I am supposed to have a counciltation for a colonoscopy - may have to move it out)...and then her doc mentioned she may need a colonoscopy but will see what a GI doc says.

Oh and when I was leaving today and her caregiver had arrived I told her alot about the hell I have had to put up with my mom...right in front of her..I don't care cause it's true..and she hates when stuff she does is repeated...I don't care...so after a while I said I gotta get back to work and started heading to the door. My mom yells out..YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW...and I said YOU DON'T COMMAND ME...she's got a hair up her arse now that she wants a hug and kiss and a bye bye momma..type of thing...oh yeah...when my mother was never the kissey huggey mom ever all my life.. I kept going out the door...then the caregiver wanted to pray with me...so I let her...she likes these little prayer sessions..I let her do it. ;-) So I told my mom before leaving I am not coming over tonight cause I have to sit there till after 7 to make up my time for today.

Bobbie, you had me CRACKING UP BIGTIME with the refried beans taco with 2 stool softeners....ha ha ha....good one!
I thought I was going to blast her arse off when I gave her the stuff that you take before a colonoscopy and she said that did nothing to me....(wow that stuff makes my arse like a jet engine when you take it before a colonoscopy etc).

Kelly, oh my god about the log...

Miz - yep I experience the same thing..I am your mom, but what do I do.

Amazingly her whining has stopped, I wonder what caused that...maybe cause she knows it's not working so much anymore..yesterday I just cut her off when she called me at work and said I need to get back to work.
So yeah folks, one of you mentioned is it in their head..or she may be doing it for attention. Sometimes I think she's on her way to dementia and then other days I think she's a clever crazy fox...UP and DOWN rollercoaster with her...and getting fed up. If she goes more mental, she is def going to Shady Acres or Green Acres..or whomever will take her...lol.

Wow old folks really are a mess, REALLY. They should have OLD FOLKS FARMS, and then let them have stables and they can pee and poop every where they want on the hay with the rest of the cows and horses...LMAO!

Hmm dont really know about Keith, Bobbie.. he hasnt really talked to me since saturday =/

Dont know why our posts were deleted.. i think this thread has been very healthy for us!!

Too bad you can't post some of those pictures, KellyBean! Wouldn't it be fun if we all could? That would probably be a hoot!

woo-hoo! party at Kelley's! What's going on with Keith?

hey everyone... so i did something bad.. i decided to organize and file ALL the old photos we have...so of course mom has to sit and look through EVERYTHING. i just wanted to seperate themmmmm.. not go through them NOW.. ughhhhhh.. why do i do this to myself? i knew she would aggravate me!

shes in daycare for the next 3 days, unless she comes up with some mysterious illness that plagues her this week. QUIET TIME!!! woohoo!!! im going to sleep in tomorrow and then head to the dollar store for frames and album inserts.. i love the dollar store!!

thursday, i clean.. even her room.. its the only time i can since shes paranoid about me looking at things lol

she did that wide eyed O_O "what are you doing?" thing to me today.. i had to giggle, it reminded me so much of our thread..

Pirategal, when's your doc appt for the constipation thingy? Keep us posted

bobbie-LOVE the boat. Especially like the name, "Poco Loco." Seems to suit all of us. I really hope you get some good news at the doc on Thurs so you can put mom in NH and you can get a wee little break. By the way, did I miss what happened with the pig and the apple sauce or whatever it was? You said you had a plan, and now ya left me hangin!

Pamela-same ol' crap, huh? Round and round we go on the emotional roller coaster. So sorry it's a sucky day, but that glass of wine is bound to help.

SecretSis-You sold your little sunny spot perfectly, it sounds so lovely.

Kelley-hey, another VA girl! didn't you say you were in NOVA somewhere? I'm in Norfolk.

Just warning everyone-I take absolutely no responsibility for any insanity I post today. I'm so tired I can't even type. Just wait until I get to the punchy phase, then the log of poop will be hysterically funny. Gram only leaves little plops.

Is that a good thing for the thread? no experience with any of this, just like funny stuff.

I did look at the thread from the beginning last night and noticed that some of our posts have been deleted. Remember Bald Women on Prozac? and the other 'band names' that we came up with? Gone.

Interesting.

Yes I will take your advice, can't drink, but I can lay around and do a sloth impression for a day and a half (except for jumping up to go with mom to the bathroom and cooking and cleaning) Yeah! But other than that........ No running around for motorhomes, just the rest of the week is doctors and hopefully getting mom settled.

Off to read about your drama, BRB.

lovbob

well my latest tells my story under the header "I think I'm done with my mom and sister". A little trama going on but nothing I'm not used too.

I'm still worried about you though, I want you to get more rest and stop jumping around doing doing doing. Take a breather and breath in some of that wine. Not too much just a little, easy to say huh...I start with a glass, look up and thoe whole bottle is GONE GONE GONE.

Wow can you believe this thread has 264 post! WOW.

Hi Pam!

I'm nuts.
Still going to wait for the doc's report but she and I know that her going to the resort while I go and sell all of our stuff is the best cause I am tired and she can see it.

I wish I could check in and she could go and sell all of our stuff!!!
Like I said earlier, I'm certifiable.
Doing the best that I can like we all are, just pooped today not much sleep and you all know how that goes. Just makes everything harder the next day.

How you doin baby girl?

lovbob

Bob your mom's going to the NH now. I haven't read through all the threads. HOw are you doing?

Hey Pam, hey SS.

Thanks for asking SecSis, her appt is Thursday. She is being very gracious and loving and ready to go to the place (she says now), bless her heart. This time I know that she'll do it, we just have to wait on the cardiologist and the tests so all will be well.

I just don't think I have the soup to do the motorhome thing as much as I'd like to. Still depends on the diagnosis.

You get some pretty sundresses now because the ones you're not wearing will look wonderful drying on the lines on the flybridge and floating in the breeze!

lovbob

tater tots........I am so there! Morning everyone!

Maybe I really need a nap, or maybe I just watched too much TV as a kid, but I just had this corny thought. You know what we can call Bobbie's vessel? The Worn Out Caregiver's Love Boat. Don't shoot me for that. I am so ready. Hey, Bobbie, when does your mom see her Cardiologist? Hey, everyone, hope you have a good day. I've got some serious sundress shopping to do...

well u let me know when that day comes !! ill be there if i can . hope i can when that day comes , haha

hey there lhardebeck! good to see you.
Have you read through some of the thread? We're planning a boat trip! So we dream and plan and have fun with it in the midst of the craziness that we're all dealing with.

lovbob

do i hear boat ?? mm come by and get me !!!! :-)

I forgot that I was on our thread and forgot to mention BOATS!!

lovbob

ps dwestlake....tater tots and nuggets once in a month I should have added.... sorry.

dwestlake,

hey, buddy don't worry about your dad not knowing the difference between a home cooked meal and tater tots. You can turn yourself inside out and upside down and at the end of the day it just doesn't matter. Sad to say but it's true.

That's why we as caretakers must really protect ourselves from the idiocy of the elderly. Personally, I use humor because it works exceedingly well and it has saved me countless times.

I only found this site in November and at that time I was well into my 6th (5.5 years) year of caretaking my demented mother. I really could have used this site 5 years ago when my mother was at the zenith of her rages. I always loved her and I do my best by her and she is healthy and for the most part happy. I on the other hand want to quote another caregiver on this site: I added 5 years to her life and took 5 years off of my own. (If the person who wrote that sees this, hit me on my wall so I can thank you personally.)

The caregivers on this site have dealt with all kinds of insanity and everybody's view is tempered by their experience. If your dad always had to be right and was prideful, then that's who he is and you can't change it so don't waste your energy trying. It will only make you nuts and I speak from absolute experience on this particular point because I have been nuts with this bs and back again.

Your dad is not going to change, period. He made it to 97 so give him some nuggets and tater tots and don't feel bad. He and your mom probably ate that stuff together and had a good time. Who's to say?

I know you say his mind is sharp and he can play computer games, etc. that's pretty cool because my mom can't find the flush on the crapper.

So you dad's mind is sharp but he's tactless and kind of an idiot to your mom? naaaah, he's just got his own little brand of dementia going.

No arguing and no contention because it's not good for YOU. To heck with him, he's made it to 97 so far and you're taking good care of him and you're doing a great job... you think about you and what you need to do to make the situation more pleasant for you. Your Dad is going to be fine and the issue here is for you to be fine too.

lovbob

dewestlake, I don't think anyone here can give you advice about how to change your dad. We can't control another. No amount of talking to my mom, or hubby talking to his dad could convince either one of them that their way of thinking needed to change. Some people's minds just aren't open to it. Have you tried a 2 X 4? Just kidding. I don't mean to belittle your trials, but there's not a lot any of us can do in these situations. The only one you can control is you.

I have asked a social worker at my dad's facility to talk to my mom. She just argues with her, too. What a mess! I go for the damage control, and try to be as loving, encouraging and supportive as I can with dad. I'd like to use duct tape on my mom. She's such a piece of work, I just try to avoid her whenever I can. Reason never works. And arguing only leads to contention. Pride is behind it all, really. Wanting to be "right," not wanting to be humble enough to listen. It's best to leave a scorner alone. When dementia sets in, we're really sunk. So, I encourage you to surround yourself with positive people, vent about the bad, and then let go. Can't give you any magic answers to make your dad behave. Consider the source... And be forgiving. Sounds like he just wants to "be in control..." Let him pretend, if that's what he wants. Don't let it get you down.

My 97 year old father lives with me. He is in good shape for 97, he can walk and is sharp enough mentally to surf the web and play complex computer games like Roller Coaster Tycoon. I am unemployed so I am home with him. When my parents lived on their own and my mothers dementia was progressing and she could no longer cook they lived on frozen dinners and take-out for several years. I am a pretty good cook and have been preparing home cooked meals for him. If I ask him what he wants for dinner he'll say frozen dinners. One time I made a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikas. I put the plate in front of him ans he said "You know what we whould have for dinner some time.....chicken nuggets and tater tots." I felt like he spit in my face. When I remind him that his BP was dangerously high from the sodium in the crap he was eating he just says "Naaah, that had nothing to do with it."

Has anyone else run into this situation? He is completely tactless. He regularly visits my mother in the nursing home. There are times when my mother will say she was talking to her mother and sisters and asks where the went. My father will say "Naaah, they're dead." I have tried to explain to him that he should not be so blunt and should just say "They're not here now;" He insists that he doesn't want to lie to her.

Just got home from picking my brother up at the airport.. nasty night here in VA.. im off to bed.. sweet dreams everyone!

Happy dreaming and nighty night.

lovbob

Bobbie, that boat is beautiful! Wish it were tomorrow. Guess the landing strip is out. How about a float plane? That'll work. So, happy dreaming, everyone! :)

no bobbie.. just a pair of gloves.. or 3..

i like the looks of that one, bobbie.. lots of places for people to just roam around..

Secret Sister....and the gang
Check out this boat. this one could make the Great Circle and make it all the way up to where you are!

http://www.yachtworld.com/core/listing/boatFullDetails.jsp?boat_id=1477653&ybw=&units=Feet&access=Public&listing_id=1593&url=

lovbob

p. s. I had a dog poop in the middle of my bed once. I knew that it was for me because I left him in the house too long. I felt bad about it but couldn't holler at him. couldn't sleep in the bed either.