Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

I found my mom wiping the toilet seat clean with the paper she just used on her person. I said nothing so as to avoid her not speaking to me for weeks. But now I know I have to clean the seat before I or visitors use it, whether it looks clean or not. Patience because of love.

Loo .. that totally deserves this ..

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

Agreed LadeeC
Have asked before to not go there. I shouldn't have responded but I did.
Cuz! Make jokes not political statements!
As in Make Love Not War.

LooDell!
I don't think we will ever figure out why they get so obsessed with poop and wiping and tissues and hiding them etc etc etc.

I got to the point where I just took my mom to the bathroom because it was easier on both of us and way less clean up at the end of the day.

Everybody's Dementia is different.

lovbob

Everybodys Dem is different...Love that :)

Step dad was trying to clean the windows on the car with vinegar and water. Mom swears he used Gasoline. Smells like vinegar to me, so now Mom isn't speaking to me because I sided with Step dad. And, her 80th birthday is next week, she says "no party". But, if we don't have a party she is going to be mad. It's one of those damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Sorry cuz

Love You Cuz and we need you here on this thread!
You get more people through their day than you will ever know.
I repeat all your jokes to everyone here on the dock and even they will say:
Have you heard from your cousin?

Love you Cuz.

Meanwhile! You know you have to throw that party!
Like I learned with my mom, she was always going to be pissed about something so I did what was best for all not just for her.
The party will be a blast and fun for everybody and after 5 minutes she will get a load of attention and have a good time too. And if she wants to pout so what haha.

Of course, easy for me to say… you have to do all of that work!

Momrocker! Hey there and welcome to the home of Vent and Live!

lovbob

Hello to everyone. Been a tough week here and getting tougher. Mom's surgery went great! I was so surprised how well things went that I let my guard down. SLAM-the changes began about 48 hours after... Why do I continually think that when she has a good day or 2 that it might last???? When will I learn? She is back to deconditioned, unable to sit up without fainting... I am back to diapers and lifting. This is all just too much. Have a call into the Dr and there is no way I can get her to him. We will end up in the ER by ambulance. Praying for a diagnosis so she can stay a few days...and maybe rehab at a NH. My shoulder and back are trashed. I just can't do this anymore!

Mame!
You have got to get a break! Go to the ER and tell the drs you need her to stay in because she is a danger to herself! Or something… I bet the other caregivers here will know what to tell the ER so they keep her for a few days and your shoulder and back and your MIND get a much needed break!

lovbob

Recently I heard about a hospital not admitting a person-here they often do not admit a person -just keep for observation-the family asked to have the person admitted to another hospital and the hospital personal backed down and did put the pt. in as admitted-if they are not admitted for 3 days they can not go into rehab with medicare and if you have them sent to another hospital the hospital does not get paid for however long they were there so they will listen often if you say you will have them admitted somewhere else.

Oh Jen,
So sorry you are so miserable. To put up with all of that and to be sick as a dog at the same time. Too Much! I am thrilled that you have retained a disability attorney. Huge! This will be a game changer and you have the right to be optimistic. Go with it.
There is no greater death than the death of hope. Please have some hope now that you have a champion fighting for you.
Remember your prime objective: Live through this and write and create like you were born to do. You are an amazing writer Jen and the highest compliment any writer can be paid is that when we read you we want to know what happens next.

I wish you could get some decent cough medicine with codeine in it. Maybe you can't take codeine but it's the only thing that will stop my coughing long enough so I can sleep and heal. There was one that I used to get that was prescription only that had the expectorant in it so the mess wouldn't stay in my lungs.

It's 4am and I am sitting here making out with the Cat. She's walking back and forth over the keyboard and after rubbing her chops on me tries to turn around and put her ass in my face. Ahhh, Cat's Ass in the face.
Now she's over by her bowl bitching at me.
Not gonna happen Cat. Stand down.

This just in:
SWIMMER TRAPPED BY BEACH BALLS

A Man got a nasty surprise when he tried to get out of his deckchair and found his testicles had become stuck between two slats of wood. Mario Visnjic has been swimming naked off Valalta beach in Croatia and his testicles had shrunk in the cool sea. When he sat down they slipped through the slats and then, as he lay in the sun, expanded back to normal size. He was freed after he called beach maintenance services on his mobile phone and they sent a member of staff to cut the deckchair in half.

And there you have it.

Hope everybody has as good a day as they can.
Mame! Let us know if you are able to get any relief for your shoulder and back.
Deef!
Sharynmarie! how is everything in your part of the world?
Austin! Good advice for the hospital! Thanks.
Juju! How goes it?
Kuli! How you doing sweet girl?
Cuz! How is everybody?
everybody! Check in and let us all know.

lovbob

What it means if a person needs to go to rehab after being in the hospital for 3 days as required and you are not admitted but just kept in observation the 3 days will not count as an admission-you were in the hospital but not admitted this messes it up for the pt. and family who are unable to care for the person at home and need them in rehab-medicare does not have to pay for rehab and at 450 a day in rehab the family will have to pay-as far as insurance or medicare paying for the days in observation I am not sure-I would think the family has to pay for that as well-who voted Obama in anyway.?

Hello fellow Caregivers,
For aching muscles from all the lifting and holding, you could try rubbing with castoroil. Or apply hot towels, then ice cold alternately.
For your coughing, see if this natural anticough mixture will help in any case it will not harm you. Stir 1 pint of chopped onion in one half cup of honey, add 1/2 tsp Cayenne. Keep mixture warm in hot, not on stove, water or a warm place. Take 1 tsp as needed. I have this from a booklet called THE MIRACLE OF ONIONS AND GARLIC. I have not read everything of this site yet. Hope you are helped with these tips.

Jen~Sorry you are still not well. Have you tried Nyquil. It usually works for me when I have bronchitis. I hate the coughing all night too. Sometimes I would have to sleep on the couch with pillows propped up behind me so I was semi sitting. I hope you feel better soon.
Mame~So sorry your mother has regressed. You do need to rest your back, I hope you can work something out on that.
Bobbie~Funny story, poor guy was probably so embarrassed, LOL!!

I seem to have pulled a muscle in my lower back but have to work today. I have 3 days off starting tomorrow. Taking mom out tomorrow for a hair cut and to dye her hair. She says she turned grey overnight, LOL!! She can't remember the word wrinkles...she complains about the cracks in her face. I can't do anything about the cracks unless she wants to use spackle.

We are getting things ready for the estate sale, moved some furniture over here and just the same old stuff. Still having a drought, the governor declared an emergency. I am loving the day time temps though...yesterday was 67 degrees!
Take care everyone.

Loo that mixture would be good for birth control also or being in a crowd to get more space. It is 0 out this am we got about 3 inches Long Island and New York City got about a ft. and with wind chill about 20 below.

Went to therapist finally, even she said go to doc...and it is across the street duh so just walked in, cold almost gone but got an anti biotic for sinus infection, so doing Ok here. thank you for all the support everyone. I know I am a drag, but well I am a drag...
Just got an email from a friend I have known since 2cnd grade her mom just died...she was 70 and fp just keeps oooozing along...beh

Thanks bobbie, hope's not dead yet. possibly on a respirator but not dead dead...

Jen~glad you are on an antibiotic and you are not a drag, though a sinus infection is a drag!!

Your not a drag Jen. Glad your feeling better. Soon spring will be here and the pool at the Y will be very inviting. Sharyn, hope your back is better, back pain is sure a drag. Austin, stay warm. Bobbie peaceful dreams and a good nights sleep.
The cold front is supposed to get here tonight, we might even get a little snow. Today was 70 and beautiful. Indio and I saddled up the horses and went for a ride before work. It was great.

For most of us in the Northern Hemisphere, temperatures have been dropping to unbearable levels — Below zero in many areas.

10 SIGNS IT’S TOO COLD TO GOLF

1) Even with Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart in your group, you still don’t feel warm and fuzzy.
2) You have to wear the visor with the plaid, woolen ear flaps.
3) Your hands feel warmer when they touch a witch’s breast.
4) Your cart sinks when it hits an iceberg.
5) It’s hard to read a putt with Tammy Faye Baker icicles on your eyelashes.
6) It drops below the temperature of an IRS agent’s heart.
7) When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.
8) You’re trapped by snow in the course’s restaurant, ominously named the Donner Party Grill.
9) The greens are groomed by a Zamboni.
10) Your balls are blue.

HI everyone, keeping busy here, how are you??....

Meanwhile 70 degree sounds great...it was beautiful here yesterday, so sunny and bout 60..it has been so overcast till early afternoon, was nice! We seem to be avoiding the polar cold fronts here on west coast!

Glad your doing better Jen.

Hope your back gets better quick, sharyn....

That reminds me, the neck and arm pain I was having so bad back last spring/summer has diminished to almost nothing I think it was stress related.
I am still having issues with pain in my hands and thumb which I had been told is arthritic and tendonitis issues. I have been also having increasing pain in my leg...it is kinda weird cause I cant tell where it is starting, it kinda shoot thru the whole leg the hip knee down to my foot. somethimes it hurts more at hip and sometimes feels like the knee etc. Mostly at the end of the day or laying in bed it will start to ache... Anyway I have a dr appt next week and with this state healthplan and see what up and check into a therapist too. Went to the dentist and the new coverage only cover my issues if meet certain criteria and I do...they are bad enough, hahaha anyway so they will submit me for pre authorization and see if I can get a partial to replace what I lost in the last few years.. That will be nice if they cover it.

Hope to have a nice weekend, wish you all the same!
Peace
Juju

Juju-I now it may be hard to do this but try an ice pack on your lower back.put it on the lower back on the same side of the leg that hurts. It sounds like sciatic nerve pain.
My back is better now,I do have pain in my right knee at night, the doc says it is bursitis and again, I use ice to get rid of the inflammation and pain. It works but is cold this time of year.
Got to get busy lots to do here today and I woke up with a sinus infection, hopefully it wont go into bronchistis.
enjoy the day!

Juju, pain shooting down your leg does sound like a pinched sciatic nerve. Maybe the Dr will Px some physical therapy. Stretching exercises helped my sciatic. Sharyn, I have an sinus infection, or something too. Yuck, don't have time to be sick. Of course temperature dropped to 14 degrees last night. Indio fed and watered all the animals for me this morning (bless his heart), but I had to get the goats milked. He just can't milk a goat. Cuz, thanks for the laugh.

Michigan is the place to be 4 to 6" of snow with 15 to 30mph winds. I have a drift in my driveway right now that is at least 3'. Time for the blower in the morning. Temp right now is 7 so the windchill is -15 plus. Supposed to be 26 by 7am but then drop back down to 12 by noon with -15 t0 30 again for saturday. No swim suit or shorts I guess yet.

Brrrrrrrr......

Hi All. Busy, stressful week here. Mom was in hospital for 3.5 days and after a lot of stress she has gone to a NH for rehab. She is so deconditioned-not using her legs at all. She is at least a 2 person assist in moving...and of course has cracked ribs from moving her. At least the fluids they gave her helped and she no longer faints every time she sits up. The rehab floor in the NH doesn't really seem equipped to handle her...so I am there a lot. Monday I will be begging for a placement on a floor with more nursing care. Well, that is after her appointment at the hand Dr and getting the stitches out of her hands etc. It is so amazingly stressful. I am praying all the time I am not there-that she will be safe and well cared for. UGH. I brought a bunch of things from home from her walls etc to make her feel at home...she seems ok. Doesn't like it when I leave but trusts I will come back. Sister and Bro have been up spending time with her too. I hate this. Yes, I have been sleeping at night without a box next to my head squawking... My shoulder is a little better already from other ppl moving her around. Gotta look at the positives right? I am sad, but I know she is where she should be for now. It has all just become too much. Too much. People say that you will know when it is time. I think I am there. But it still makes me sad. Nothing set in stone, but the wheels are turning and moving toward permanent placement. I feel like I am failing her, but I know that she has had 10 good years here with us in our home-and probably would have died long ago left in her own home, not eating right and smoking her life away. And, who is to say that she won't enjoy the social aspect of the NH? She may do just fine. I don't know. As I said, nothing is set in stone yet, but this is how I feel today... Sad, but in desperate need of this break. And feeling it is time. God help me. Ugh. Sorry I don't have the energy to speak to each of you. I have been keeping up with you all and feeling your pains and joys... Know that I appreciate you all and will be able to call out to each of you again soon. Just gotta get thru this chapter. Mame

Mame, you are doing the right thing for both of you! Take it from someone who stuck it out longer than I should have. Hate to put it like this, but thank God Mom died when she did. I was at the breaking point physically and mentally. I was having hallucinations at night and just falling apart at the seams. I'm sure if I had to do it for another month or 2, it would have done me in for sure!
It's very hard to stay away from the NH with your mom there. I know, I spent every day there with Mom the 2 times she was in rehab. She was not social and did not thrive there. Your mom sounds more social and I bet she does well, but you will have to step back a bit and let nature take it's course. Try to stay away more and see how things progress. There isn't one of us that can let go enough to feel proper car is given after all the time we have invested in their care. But you can make yourself just as crazy trying to make sure things are up to your standards. It's not easy, I know, but try to cut yourself some slack. You are at a breaking point like I was and it won't do your mom any good if that happens! Just do the best you can and try to take care of yourself while you have the time.
Jen, how are you doing? Getting much snow and cold there? Been in the low teens and single digits here for over a week now! Actually got up to the 20's today! Not much snow thought it isn't melting because of the temps. Supposed to get light snow later today into tomorrow.
Just got a $700 oil delivery for one side of the house. Propane delivery due this coming week and I hope the price hasn't gone up too high! That will be another $700+ bill. Both of those are about 4 weeks of fuel for these temps! Got a $1000 property tax bill due on the first too! Guess I better go rob a bank or something!!!
Sharyn, don't you just love all the aches and pains that come with age! Have to admit to a very physical life with jobs that required very heavy lifting, etc. That didn't help matters! I've had problems with sciatica for almost 40 years. Started in my early 20's with some bad episodes a few times. Not fun.
Juju, the icing will help. Over doing can make it worse and will bring on a flare-up for me. But over the years I have found that keeping moving helps the best. Sometimes stretching the wrong way will aggravate mine, but everyone is different when it comes to sciatic nerve pain. I can't sit on hard surfaces or wear high shoes. Reaching up high for something can set it off too. Once you know what triggers it, you can get some control over it. I sure hope it eases up for you soon!
Meanwhile, 70 degrees sounds so far away right now! Although I hate the summer heat, I could go for some warmer temps at this point!
Bobbie!!!!!!!
Been to Blanche's house every day this week, sigh, getting to that point I guess! Cleaned off her driveway twice this week. Second time in below zero wind chills. The hot cocoa she made me after sure tasted great!
Started on some organizing and cleaning this week, so I guess I had better get back to it while I have a day off from my lady friend! Husband just went to get burritos from the local Mexicalli Grill!
Hope everyone has a good weekend and stay warm if you can!
Deef

Mame your a wonderful daughter, been taking care of your mom for a long time. And, you will continue to be there for her even if she goes to the nursing home. You really need to care for yourself. Your mom wouldn't want you to keep killing yourself on her behalf. It takes 2 people to move her, even if she gets better for a while, it wouldn't be long before she was down again.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday. It's warm enough here to go for a ride, but I still have this stupid flu.

Gah deef knew that was coming, and it's isn't even over yet! Hope the East gets a break there...

Still alive here, anti biotics working so it was more than a viral/ Beh what ever...Want to go swimming!!! but I feel faint doing the dishes. maybe just the therapy pool...Have a good week everyone...Jen

You have a good one to Jen. Monday morning we are going to be 5 degrees with a 15mph wind gusting up to 30mph making the wind chill -15 to -30 for the next 2 days. If that doesn't freeze a well diggers auger I don't know what will.
luvCuz

That's not good meanwhile The wife was down for the good part of a week. Still has alittle cough but doing much better.
luvCuz