Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Good Evening Crew,

Sorry I have been MIA and so sorry to read all of the trials and tribulations of the caregiving life that you guys are experiencing. I know it sux big time and all I can add is to keep writing, venting, ranting and otherwise not suffering alone.

That's key: Don't suffer alone!
Come here and spread it around because we are all stronger together than we are alone.

OK, I fell and tore my ankle up pretty good so now I can't walk. Being on a boat makes it hard of course but the boat angel is here and is taking good care of me and I am so relieved.

Mame, I read your post the other day and my heart broke for you. Keep writing and vent and live.
My heart broke again just now reading Meanwhile's post about finally getting some sleep and then learning that her husband was gone.

Diane, you are in the Vortex of Dementia and it spins and spins and makes you crazy if you are sucked in too deep.
Of course, we are all sucked in too deep.

Barb! Deef is right. This is Dementia and it just gets nuttier. The work load increases because our moms or dads just lose their wiring and do all kinds of things bass ackwards.
Deef is the Queen of keeping her mom from shredding everything in reach and she will be the first to tell you that, even with years of experience, her mom will get one in now and again.

My mom came out one time with the nightie on sideways and upside down. She had her one arm and head through a sleeve and because it was tight her arm was over her head and she was panicking.
Of course I tried my best to always handle everything with humor so I made some comment that that was an interesting look but probably very impractical.
My poor mom. Like I have mentioned before but not for awhile, my mom would come to lucidity and for a brief flash realize what what going on and I would tell her that she was safe and sound and not to worry because I was taking care of her.
At those times I would also tell her that she was the bravest person I had even known. And she still is today.

The cost is dear but I will admit, even though I have said repeatedly that I would never do it again, I am happy that I made a difference in her life.

Sorry again I have been out of it with this ankle. Ow Ow, but nothing compared to what you guys are dealing with.

Love you all way more than you know.
lovbob

Bobbie, sorry about your ankle. Och . I still have trouble admitting how hard it was those last few days with my husband. He didn't go peacefully, fought to the end, that's a Marine for you.
My mother is still having trouble walking since she fell. Is using a walker. She unplugged most of the wires on her computer, and then couldn't figure out why it didn't work. I got it put back together for now. Why she unplugged everything, she won't answer. I don't even know how she got behind her desk to to it. She decided a few weeks ago she wanted a new car. She can't drive!!! My Step Dad has been arguing with her for weeks. For some reason, she let me talk her out of it in 5 minutes. Just venting. She is so much easier than she could be. But, the crazy is CRAZY. Until recently she has never listened to me, I don't know why all of the sudden I'm the one she thinks knows all the answers.
Hope everyone has an uneventful weekend. Love Shirley

Hi everyone, I thought I would stop in to take a peek and say hi. I've been really busy with dad, school, and everything else. I am working really hard and learning so much about the importance of taking care of myself while caregiving. I've even figured out how to work exercise into my weekly routine, and you all know how hard that is to do while caregiving. I don't have much time after doing everything so I'm not posting very much here anymore but you are all always in my thoughts and prayers and I want you to know it. I have to use Facebook daily as part of my schools social structure so you can always find me there. Everyone, stay strong, stay out of the black hole. xoxo
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket love & Hugsღ

Cold cold cold here, same old only more of it. Incontinence seems to be getting worse, he is weaker, chokes on more stuff. Just waiting for it to end. Him or me, I have weird neck pain stabbing along sides no idea, won't care if it kills me. No more worries then. Wrote a new play still waiting to hear on one sent to contest, will know in March. Zags lost a close game, sad. watching some Doc Martins'.

Hope everyone getting some rest where ever they are, some how!

VERY windy morning here in Central NY! Gonna get very cold this week! Mom sees the Dr tomorrow. Just a check up. Her color has been bad-not sure what that means but they will take blood and check things out.
I got a reprieve yesterday! A friend texted and asked if I wanted to go to a movie and hubby said he would hang with mom. We saw Le Miserables. I liked it. I have never been to that show on stage or read the book and had to read Wikipedia to see what it was about. Great story. The music is beautiful altho Hugh Jackmand and Russell Crowe don't have the best voices-they did a good job. Ann Hathaway was wonderful. It was nice to go out and forget about life for a couple hours!
My son goes back to college today. It will be very quiet around here again! :(
Have a decent Sunday. Mame

Good Morning Crew,

Ankle is better but still can't get around all that well. No biggie, just getting antsy.

Mame! I love Les Mis and have seen the stage production twice, both times in San Francisco. It's interesting to me that for the film the director made them sing live as opposed to recording it in studio. Man oh man, what a challenge that had to be for all concerned!

Jen! hope you aren't freezing your parts off. Sorry to hear about the stabbing neck pain. Can you go and get an x-ray? Or something? Poor kid I wish I could come and get you out of there.
I have watched all of the Downton Abbeys up to last night and will treat myself to that this evening. Haven't watched any Doc Martins yet but do like the boots haha.

OK, so can you tell us what the new play is about? That is very exciting and I know that we're all beyond proud of you to write and then send it into the world. You have courage, girl!

Cricket! It is good to see from you!

Shirley, it is so true that some deaths come more easily than others. I can only imagine how all of that is in your head and how hard it must be to have those memories come unbidden. I hope you can keep writing it out here and know that there are those that are reading what you write and understanding that they are not alone. That is a beautiful gift that you can give to those who think that it is only they that feel that way.
You are very right about Crazy being Crazy. Your mom is messing with her computer wires because her wires are all criss crossed. Your step dad arguing with her endlessly just points to the fact that he doesn't get it yet.

We should get someone that can draw make a cartoon of someone arguing with a fencepost. Or arguing with someone who doesn't speak English, which would be better. No upside and nothing gets accomplished.

Diane! How are you doing? Any respite from the insanity?

Well, I have to undo some of the work the painter guy did. He was trying to make a career out of painting this boat, I stopped him and of course now he is bad mouthing me to the guys in the yard.
Haha, what he doesn't realize is that the guys in the yard like me and have seen what he did to my boat and are telling me everything. (They have also seen my finish work and respect it.) All this poor guy has succeeded in doing is costing himself more work.
He tried to keep himself lined out when the weather was not conducive to painting and epoxy and it didn't cure right because of the high humidity. To add insult to injury I told him that I thought it was too humid and he assured me that it wasn't. When the wood cured with white marks in it deep into the grain he tried to make excuses about it and by that time I had had enough. Go Away.
Another one bites the dust. Moving on.
If he had an ounce of honor he would spend a day to make it right but after discussing that with him he expects to be paid to do so.
Not doing that.
This guy has tried to get me to go to church and is 'worried about my soul' etc, etc but has no problem taking money from me, doing a crappy job and leaving me with it. Go figure.
Good thing I am getting my strength back both mentally and physically. Still feel not all the way there yet but feel better than I have for a long time. Yay. You guys have a lot to do with that and I thank you all.

Barb! DEEF!! Linda! Cattails! Everybody!
Check in and let us all know how you guys are doing.

Love you all more than you know,
lovbob

Hey bobbie, still alive here, your ankle my back right now, least things heal.

new play is really graphic and well, disturbing, about a group of men who set out to kidnap and gang rape a woman but stop when they find out she has a "physical deformity". Edgy to say the least, not sure were the market is for that sort of work. on we go anyhow.

Have a good week everyone what ever that means. Kathy needs sleep! Diane needs a vacation, mane needs a wind breaker, crazy, I had a dream about gusty winds thought it was here but it wasn't! Jen, needs a winning lotto ticket and psychotherapy...

oh my and I thought it was bad here,lol.My mom was just sticking her fingers in the peanut butter I just bought.That's her jar now..yuck.she never washes.All her food habits are gross,so I eat at a later time.

He has on the electric organ of sixties muzac from hell ,it is vibrating the floor. must escape now

Oh man Jen. When he leaves his room go break the thing that makes the noise....

Your play is indeed very edgy and could find a home in NYC Off Broadway. Can you do a search to find those who are producing such?
You are in very good company of those playwrights who 'go there'.
Congratulations on having an edgy intellect. More!

Spooky, Welcome to the home of Vent and Live!
Rant and Write and we know you love your mom just like we love our folks, but conditions make us crazy and we have learned that we have to Vent in order to Live.

lovbob

Hi everyone:

Bobbie, sorry to hear about your ankle. My neighbor, age 53, fell a couple of weeks ago. She slipped on the stairs and down she went. Severely sprained one ankle and majorly broke the other. Took 8 screws and an 8 inch plate to fix the break. These things can happen in the blink of an eye and then your world changes. So let's all try to be mindful and take care of ourselves.

Well, our place is covered with birds. Nothing quite as exciting as Red Cardinals, but we've got tons of red wing black birds, the quail, doves and lots of others. They are going through the seed and the suet like crazy. My husband started putting some cracked corn out for the ducks. The regular bird feeders are in our yard, but when he feeds the ducks, he puts their cracked corn down by the pond.

Well, these ducks get impatient in the morning and they want their corn. They walk up to the house and hang out in the driveway. It's gotten so bad that if we get up in the morning and it's still dark out, we don't want to turn on the kitchen light because the ducks see that and immediately start their trek to the driveway. Now the ducks are flying into the yard and eating the seed on the ground under the feeders which is meant for the little birds. They are becoming a real nuisance. Maybe we should stop feeding the ducks altogether. There's plenty of food in the pond for them.

We still have 2 hummingbirds at the feeder, so they will be here for the duration. Every morning one hummingbird sits outside our bedroom window and makes it's little noises. Very sweet to see and hear it first thing.

The bull elk are hear; about 20 of them. They seem to hang out here most of December, January and February. A while back the cows joined them with the baby elk, but they have taken up separate quarters again.

Our weather has been kind of mild this winter. It hasn't gotten much below freezing. We had a little bit of snow, just a couple of inches, but you never know what to expect. I'm seeing some shrubs starting to bud out and hoping that we don't get a hard freeze.

Meanwhile: I read your comments about your husband passing away during the night while you were finally getting some much needed sleep. I'm so sorry that happened. I know we would all like to be there, holding our loved ones hand, when they pass. It's the picture we have in our hearts and minds, but we are not robots and our bodies require sleep.

A good friend of mine went to fill an Ativan prescription for her husband and in the time it took her to reach the pharmacy (about 10 minutes) he passed on. The hospice nurse called her on her cell phone and told not to worry about the prescription and to just come home. My friend, Judy, knew then that her husband had passed. She also knew that he really didn't want her to be present when he died. For some reason, he wanted to spare her that moment.

During my years working with terminally ill children, it was not unusual for a child to hang on and then pass in moments when a parent left the room. It was much like the child wanted to go, but found it hard to do so in the parents presence.

These things happen to lots of people, Meanwhile. It was just fortunate that my father passed during the day time and, as a result, I was with him.

What I'm saying is not meant to diminish your disappointment, but to thank you for talking about it. It was brave of you to share that memory and I think people will benefit from your words.

Mame: Glad you went to see Les Mis. I've never seen it performed, but will make an effort to see the movie. Thanks also for the now and again hug. I appreciate them and knowing that you think of me.

Jen: Hope your back gets better. When I read your post about fart pants and his electric organ, it took me a minute to realize you were talking about music. I'm with Bobbie. Just go break the darn thing. Break both of them.

Diane: I hope you are having a good day away with your tour group. Keeping my fingers crossed you got a break.

Deef: I've been meaning to look up your latest craft adventure. I can't think of the name of it now, but I'll look back and find it again. It did sound interesting.

As for me, I have just been a bit down. Can't seem to really shake it, but I'll keep working on it. My neighbor and walking partner left for Alaska a couple of weeks ago. I really miss the walks and talks we shared. It's kind of strange to find myself here now and everything that I had invested my time into no longer a part of my life. By that I mean my parents and my friend, Kathy. I feel like I am starting all over. It's feels lonely, but I will just have to make the effort to change my circumstances. I should start a book group or something.

Well, I've got to go. The gay and lesbian band is just now coming up on the parade route. I don't want to miss their lavender outfits. OK, just kidding. They already passed. Personally, I'm all for equal rights and I love lavender.

Cat

Cat maybe you could put up a note in the PO or local food store asking for a walking partner -it is lonly walking by yourself or maybe you will note others walking the time you do-we are lucky here in NY they turned small railroads into trails and they are paved Rails to Trails they are called.

I am back. Boo hoo. ; (
I had an awesome time with my older brother at the Mecum auto show. Man their was some old Corvette n Mustang n etc. I will post some on my fb page when I get some time. We went by to see my Dad n Step-mom (SM) in a rented trailer that the boys got for them a little away from their property. Of course, both of them had a bottle of beer in their hand n she was back smoking! At least Dad understood that what got them in the hospital and that was not eating good. They were drinking more than eating. They said the only have about 3 a day but while we were their couple of hrs they were already done with #3! My brother reminded them that if they continue to drink that they can lose their legs. The SM spoke up n said, "Well, I know how to use a wheel chair." We both didn't even say anything. Dad tried to blame the SM about not cooking sometimes n I told him that, "You know how to cook if you are hungry." What happen to all that chili you like to cook? He replied, "He just cooked some." I saw a crock pot full of chili. However, I also saw 2 empty boxes of Corona beer. I just gave him hug n told him I love him n we left. They went all this time without the alcohol n the system free while n hospital n rehab center n it seem like we us all kids just wasted r time n hope.
In addition, I suspected my husband had been drinking while I was gone for I could tell it in his voice over the phone. Here I am bringing KFC for dinner for I am really tired, my roids were bleeding n I know he didn't go to the grocery store either for its all waiting for me. When I finally made it home this afternoon, sure as hell hubby was drunk!! I let him know that, I appreciate him getting drunk while I was gone. The mil had a hemorrhoid suppository in her pocket n i asked him why? he mention she was suppose to have used it yesterday. Then, I cannot find the medicated lip cream samples from her skin dr for her lips. I made her a plate. While hubby denies he was drinking n sneaks into the bedroom to pass out. I find a pint of Vodka with about a swig full left. I just took it n stuck the bottle upside down in his glass for him to see that I know. I am a bit upset n disappointed with the hubby n my dad. As for the mil, don't know about the test results until next wk but I was with her the whole 9yards while back their getting her Barium X-ray. Needless to say, I will not be getting one of those done. I wore a vest to keep from getting anything from the x-ray taking n I was talking to the mil to breath in through her nose n out her mouth slowly the whole time. She was in tears at one time until I kept on with her with the breathing n I held both of her hands n she did great! she also seems she feel a lot better too since she had a few BM. Yet, she still complains about her roids so hopefully they will know something to help her next week. I guess when I am done with her, maybe I can see about a dr for myself for the roids. Right now, all I want to do is grab my unpacked bags n leave.

Lil I am so sorry for all you are going through -the worse with everything else your husband is making life hell for you and having to deal with the mother in law also when your husband should have been there for her-I am sure you want to get away from them all and no one would fault you if you did that -my heart breaks for you-is there anyone in your life who is there for you?

Dtflex, sound like your mom with those anxiety attack are really extreme. Is their anything she can take to help calm her anxiety? I hope u will be able to get some rest n your mom too.
Bobbie, glad to hear your ankle is doing better n hope u get back on feet physicall n mentally feeling better soon. As for your painter, I wouldn't pay him for such a crappy job! Or I would give him half of what he was wanting being he done a half-ass-job. It's been a very long time since I heard that song, "Another one bites the dust." I loved the beat when it had came out. Take care of yourself.
Spooky, I have a separate jar for my mil too n crackers n snack foods just for her in one area n the frig n above the cabinet area in plastic containers for her with her name on them. You gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes.
Mame, glad your hubby took a turn to watch so you could get a small break n I hope U R able to get some more.
Shirley, she could be playing sides for example, my son wasn't getting the answer he wanted to hear from hubby, he would then come to me. Maybe mom not getting her answer she wants to hear from him n so you r the one for now. My mil does that with hubby n I too. Crazy is Crazy does. Hang in there.
Cricket, Jam, Ladee, and everyone else on this forum, I hope yall had a good weekend.

Lil that is much too much for me, I wouldn't know what to do! I hope you get some peace there....

Diane, You okay? Hope your mom id behaving for you.
Geez, Bobbie! Bad enough your ankle betrayed ya, but the painter bilking $$ from you for a lousy job and then preaching to you.... That takes the cake for sure!
Shirley, hang in there, it's going to get a lot crazier!!!Good to hear from you Cricket!
Jen glad you like the cardinal pictures I sent. Got more today as it was starting to snow this afternoon, so they were all out around the feeders! What is Doc Martin?
Mame, glad you got out with your friend. Great movie of a really great story! The wind was bad here all weekend too, but it dried up all the water from the melting snow, so when it got cold, there were no ice patches. That's a good thing!
Spooky, welcome to the world of Gross! My Mom has taken up chewing and licking her fingers all the time. Gags me when she grabs me with her wet hands.
Cat, sounds like you have a wildlife refuge there. We didn't put out as many feeders this year. No $$ to buy enough seed to fill them all. Squirrels get their share too.
Lildeb, I can't even imagine coming home to what you did. What a nightmare! You sure don't deserve that form your husband when you are so good to his mom. Glad you got away though! I was watching the Barrett Jackson auction i
from Scottsdale this weekend. Love those old cars! My first car was a 1965 Mustang and I paid $1200 for it in 1969. Loved that car!
It's 23 degrees here and snowing a fine silky snow that will just make the roads slippery tonight and in the morning. keeping my fingers crossed that daycare will not be canceled. That would mean a long day by myself with Mom. Supposed to only get 2 to 4" so I hope it ends early.
Never did get my pantry finished last night. I made chicken caciatore for dinner and had trouble finding things in the pantry, so I started in on it, but never got back to it. Tomorrow's another day and I'm ready for bed now. Been falling asleep with my knitting in my lap, but can't sleep when I get to bed. Maybe it's the having to get up 4 days to get Mom out the door to daycare and only having help on 3 days now. Guess I'll have to adjust to the new schedule like she is.
Got a sink full of dishes with my name on it, so I better get at it or they will be staring me in the face when I get up tomorrow!

Lildeb: That's just wrong. Shame on your husband. He owes you big time. Sending you love, LD, and rainbows. You deserve tons of them. Cat.

Austin, they all live in Florida where I just left for that mini break from Friday. I do have a half brother that lives in Alabama if push comes to shove. I would leave the whole freaking mess but, I only have Medicare A & B due to disability or until they say, "I can go back to work again." However, it would have to be a nice paying job with health benefits to pay for all the meds I take everyday. The mil does have a Niece down the street but her plate is pretty full too n she ain't no young chicken.
I am searching around to get all my eggs in a row just n case for me n the mil if I have to do anything for her best interest too. Hopefully, his dumb ass will get back in gear but just n case, I am looking n I may have to take a class or two on care-giving like CPR or CNA or something that I can add to my Sociology degree. Maybe then I can apply for a career n not a job. At least I have a warm kitty cat next me n my brother n Fl had giving me some 'real all natural chicken eggs.'
I hope everyone is able to get some rest.

Good Morning Crew,

Deb, sorry that your husband hit the vodka big time. At the end of the day you have more disease than one under your roof. Easy to get mad as hell at the drinker but if they are drinking out of control, we know the answer to that one and it sure isn't easy.
Wish I could come and get you out of there too.

My dad was a drinker and it was untreated PTSD from him being in Stalag 7-A from a few days after D-Day to the liberation of Europe.
He came home and got a degree in electrical engineering and went into rocket science, no kidding. All was well until too much pressure was applied to him at work and the nightmares started and he began to drink more and more.

At that time we had no idea what the problem was and as many can attest, Post Traumatic Stress wasn't something the WWII wounded Vet talked about or was even aware of. They just suppressed their fear and rage and drank it away.
Or tried to.
Everybody has their demons and maybe being left in charge of his mom was too much for him. Not defending the behavior by any means and it is unfair and unjust for you to have to deal with it all to be certain.
I hope he can get a grip and not load this stuff on your shoulders in addition to everything else you do. It's too much.

If we could find that artist to illustrate how futile it is to argue with Dementia, we could also ask that they come up with the Caregiver Logo:
A Camel, with terror on its face eyeballing a single stalk of straw.
It's all too much.

Angels to you Deb to help you cope with the insanity of caregiving, Dementia and booze. We all love you girl. You are a treasure. And a degree in Sociology!
My respect for sure.

Jen! how's your back doing and anything new with the pains in your head?

Cat! I think Austin had a good idea about the BB post for a new walking partner.

DEEF!! I dunno, just like saying DEEF!!
Where in the world do you get the energy?
I have wanted to do some cross stitch but the bulb in my magnifier light pooped out and I haven't gotten around to getting a new one. Other than that, I used to be crafty but not much anymore. I did want a loom for awhile. Still would like to have one but they don't fit on a boat very well.

Diane!! How are you doing? Any fun on the tour?

The painter guy is a good guy, he just is a 'guy' in the respect that he doesn't understand that I know what I am talking about in relation to the wood on this boat.
When I told him please do not use power tools on my rails, he did anyway and now they are wavy. He said they were that way before he started and he doesn't realize that I have video tape of this entire boat throughout the restoration and he is wrong.

He's one of those who can't take responsibility for a mistake and wants to blame this and that.
His paint work is beautiful but when he messed up the 35 year old Burmese Teak rails and wouldn't own it, that royally pissed me off.

The head of the paint department here told him to listen to me and he still can't. Guess he's used to dumbass women or something.

I really want out of here big time. Sick of limited conversational topics, sick of people who think that Rush Limbaugh is a news source, sick of the myopic world view.
Time to move on, but still have more boat work to do. Ugh.

I should come and wipe some granny butt for one of you guys so you can get a break and that would cure me of bitching about the circumstances here.

Bottom line, is that this guy is sweet but slow and when I ask when can we flip the boat around to get the other side he says when he is ready, as opposed to saying that it will take however many hours.
Not a good way to run a business.

OK, have another boat guy coming on in a few minutes, and this guy is not taking money from me so I think that I can listen to what he says since he's not setting me up to be a cash cow for him like everyone else does.
He says that he can show me how to fix what the other guy did. *sigh*
Welcome to the world of big boats.

Love all you guys and keep venting and ranting and remember that there is a life after caregiving!!
Just don't buy a boat and become a caregiver to that.... haha

lovbob

Good morning Crew,
I am rushing around this morning but wanted to let you know I am ok. I succeeded in getting away yesterday and too my group of 30 people to Harrah's Cherokee Casino. It was fun to be around other people and to spend some time with James. We didn't win anything, but had fun playing our $5 free play. Well I have to run but wanted to say hello and let you know you know I am okay. Have a great day everyone.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Martens the shoes


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doc_Martin TV series

computer ate my post.

Hello Bobbie and Crew,
Things have been fairly quiet around here the last few days. Nothing really better, but nothing worse either. I wish I could get the motivation to do something creative. Guess I have the January blues. I have a knitting project started, a shawl for my daughter, but can’t seem to make myself work on it. My daughter and I design and make costumes for the local renaissance festival, but auditions aren’t until June so that is more of a summer project.
Bobbie, hope your ankle is healing well and so sorry about your painter. Nothing more frustrating than someone who thinks that they can’t do anything wrong.
Deb, I am so sorry that your awesome time was somewhat spoiled by your husband on your return home. It seems we get so little time to relax and then to return to an even more stressful situation is almost as bad as not going at all. My first mil was an alcoholic. We lived with her for a brief time while we were remodeling our home when my children were small. It was very difficult to have the children around that. Finally the alcoholism took its toll. I was the person who discovered her body when she died after another one of her drinking binges. I went to check on her after my son went to visit and no one answered the door. Thank goodness the door was locked and he was not the one who found her.
Shirley, when my first husband died, he was in a coma for 6 days. He died when I was not there. My children were young and I could not spend every moment at the hospital. That was difficult for me, never having the chance to be there with him.
Diane, glad you had a good time at the casino. That is one of my husband’s favorite things to do. Don’t do it very often, but usually have a good time and a good meal when we do go. Up until Mom’s last trip to the hospital, we would take her with us. She loved the slot machines. Now I don’t think she could even figure out how to work the machines now, even with help.
Deef, I’m calling Mom’s doctor today to see if I can get some medication to help her. Last evening she was having really bad hallucinations about people in the house. I tried to reassure her that our house was locked; no one was in the house but her, my husband and me. She got very angry at me and told me to be quiet. I just walked away at that point. I am learning. I had a hard time getting her settled to go to bed later, so I need to get something for her.
Mame, Jen, Cat, Austin, Cricket, and anyone I missed, hi to all.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Hugs to all,
Barb

Bobbie you are so right about the WW2 guys everyone was so glad when Johnny came marching home-we did not realize what they saw and did-no instant tv reports then-my father would not talk about it just that war was hell-he became an alcoholic and died at 50 with luekemia from what he breathed in after the bombs were droped on Japan-with an alcoholic father and a narcissic mother it is a wonder the 4 of us are somewhat normel and just found out recently he was asked to stay in and make it a carreer but mom would not move to Japan-she would not leave her mother. I was with the husband when he died he was in and out of it for days but would recognize everyone else but me during that time so being there for them is not always a good thing-I am really going down memory lane-but I was there for many pt.s as they died after DNR pt.s who would not get better or surive were allowed to die with dignity and I would stay and hold there hand if no family was present-and most people are able to wait until family are not there and most do pass on peacefully.

Austin, What a history you have being at the bedside of so many people. You are an angel to be with folks when they go. I hope I am lucky enough to have someone like you sit with me when I go.

Then again I will probably go screaming when a rogue wave flips us over.

Jen, you're hilarious. that about sums it up. Link this! haha

Sorry I went on a boat rant this morning and I know that it's all bs compared to what you guys are on with but thanks for letting me vent.

Barb, that must have been awful to have to find your mil's body. So sad. Seeing that and your first husband's coma. That's a lot of trauma.

Diane, glad to hear from you and that sounds like a good time.

I hope everyone has a good evening.
Into the shower to wash off sawdust.

lovbob

Bobbie, I had lots of friends whose dads were drinkers because of WWII. One came home with a head wound. Very quiet man, but he drank. I remember my father rescuing him from the neighbors bushes one evening and bringing him home. His wife poisoned his kids towards him, but they heard the whole story as adults and realized why he was that way. As a matter of fact, his only son was in Viet Nam and survived the massacre of his unit by playing dead under the bodies if his friends. He never drank, but I/m sure he has many nightmares!
I was cleaning out the back of Mom's closet and found a box of goodies. In it were pictures, old jewelry, and government documents. Mom's father's discharge papers from WWI, my dad's uncles papers from WWII including a hand signed letter of appreciation from President Harry S. Truman!!! And I also found Dad's draft card, discharge papers and a list all the names of the men in his company! The jewelry was a lot of great pieces with rhinestones. Some of them I remember from my childhood and some I didn't recognize at all.
Cat, The class I am taking is for needle felting. It can be done on knitted handbags, sweaters, and you can create sculptures of almost anything with wool roving and barbed needles. This class is creating felted flowers and learning techniques.
Diane, glad you got away and were able to bring your bf along with you. We like to go to Mohegan Sun in Conn. Love the buffets and the half penny machines! Mohegan Sun is negotiating with Mass. to build a casino one town over from us. I'll be in line for a job when that happens! This is a very depressed area and could really use the jobs it would create. Right now we all go out of state for the entertainment.
Barb, losing a husband when you had young children to raise must have been really hard on you. My youngest bother was only 13 when my dad died. I remember hearing the bang around midnight, when he had his heart attack and fell backwards and hit his head on a bureau. I knew something had happened to Dad and picked up the phone and dialed 911 when my 16 year old sister came flying through our door. By the time I got across the hall to my parent's mom was on the floor cradling Dad's head in her lap. The EMT's got here in less than 5 minutes and worked on him on the way to the hospital where doctors did all they could for over an hour. Longest night of my life! Had to come back home and call all my sibs that were living away from home, then my Dad's brothers and sisters. It was the worst thing I ever had to do!
My Mil also used to drink. The first 2 years we were married, we lived with my inlaws. FIL was still working, and I only worked part time, so I would hear that bottle cap turning every 10 minutes. My sil used to buy her the bottles and when I caught my husband bringing one home for her, I told him I would leave if he ever did it again! I told her if she wanted it bad enough, she could crawl downtown on her knees before I would let him buy her another bottle! She died at 74 from colon cancer.
Barb, costumes for renaissance fairs! Wow!!! Pirategirl, an original contributor to GO does fairs with her bf out in California. Small world! I also have been knitting shawls and have done close to 20 different ones in the past 2 years. Love doing the lace ones the best. I hope you were able to get something to help your mom sleep, or at least calm down some. It's not good when you can't get them to sleep nights.
Yesterday and today, Mom was all stretched out and rigid like a board when I got to daycare to pick her up. Had her head thrown back and her feet straight out. I remembered the last time she did this and checked her but. Sure enough, she has a spot on her skin next to the tail bone that is about to open up. It's tiny and will heal quickly, but the pain when she rests on it causes her to
slide down in her seat to get off of it. I have moisture barrier that we put on all the time, but she sleeps on her back all night and sits in a wheelchair all day. So I put s callous cushion around it for the night so that it wouldn't have any pressure on it. In the meantime, I ordered a high back pad with side stabilizers to keep her from throwing her head back and leaning to the side and a thick seat pad for the wheelchair I leave at daycare. Sigh! Another $225 on my credit card! But it should solve the problems of her throwing her head back, leaning over the sides of the chair and extra padding for her boney butt!
I'm gonna have lots of stuff to sell when Mom is gone!
Got an oil delivery today for $600 and still have to pay the $475 gas bill from 2 weeks ago. Then there is the $715 property tax bill due Feb. 1st, and all my regular bills. Guess I need to get a part time job! I have $1500 in my account until after the first. Don't know where I will get the extra cash I need to pay all this by the first! Maybe I should start looking under rocks!
Jen, Checked out Dc Martin. My daughter and sil will tell you I do not get British TV, especially the humor. Although I used to love Benny Hill!
Okay, I need to get some dishes done and clothes out of the dryer before bedtime. Hope you are all having a good night

Hey everyone, sorry I have been MIA. I am still sick. I went to the dr yesterday and she said that I had bronchitis. She heard me wheezing. So she gave me a steroid shot, bactrim antibiotics, cough syrup, and a inhaler. Hubby is sick too. He doesn't have bronchitis just a cold, but we both have been coughing our heads off for over a week now. We are so ready to feel better. And I am still in the black hole, which doesn't help matters, either. I am just glad that Connor hasn't gotten what we have. I hope all of you are doing alright. Well, I just wanted to check in and say hello and that I am still alive. Ya'll stay warm tonight, its cold out there. Love and hugs Stormy

Hope all the meds help Stormy! People here are all sick with the same thing. The coughing is the worst. The steroid shot alone will make you feel so much better. I have asthma, so when I get a bad cold, the only thing that makes me better is a course of steroids. It's already under 10 degrees here tonight. I'm going to crawl into my warm bed. Good night everyone!

Thanks Deef, I know I am getting ready to take my knock out cough syrup and hit the hay too. Nitey-Nite ya'll.

Hmn not sure if it qualifies as "British Humor" It may but it isn't Monty Python...The Doc is a crabby pain in the ass in any culture!

Monty a-whining here, mom went to pick up my three prescriptions from the ER visit last night. Back pain became excruciating and with spasms (never had that before !) So I took a cab to ER, was not very busy and 1 AM, full but not busy, hard to describe and nighttime people a bit different from daytime people, that and a kid in hand cuffs came in flanked by two police officers. Kid had two spider bites, yuck I'd rather have the back pain, and I think was arrested for meth.
Waiting to see if the co-pay breaks me for a month. Hydro-codone or what ever, I said next step up from OTC but nothing that will make me loopy. Will it? maybe it will that's above Tylenol with codine right? I don't know just waiting for mom, and I will handle fp again, but been doing that a lot lately.
Our temps warmed up to almost 30 here but further east you guys are gonna get a cold snap, you got your oil just in time deef...I have seen oil trucks all over town of late.

D what is the sore a bed sore? We have barrier cream left over from grandma and hospice. "Put it on light but often"...

Good Wednesday everyone. I am goin back to bed!